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Birthdays at Sappe

Not spicy at all

Met up with my college buddies the other night for Cappy and Gar’s birthday.

We’ve been getting together every February to celebrate Gar and Cappy’s birthday since…well, since a few years after we graduated college, way back in 1996 or so.

The first time I mentioned us meeting was back in 2007 in this entry.

Back then, everyone didn’t have a camera with them 24/7 and I also wasn’t sure how much of my life I’d be blogging about.

Some 18 years later, I’m obviously blogging a lot more.

This year, we met up at a joint called Sappe downtown.

Despite a massive snowstorm that night, the place was packed…

…the drinks were killer…

…as was the food.

What’s odd was that the single spiciest thing we ate was this strawberry fruit salad.

Think I ate the most, about six strawberries. And then I was done – my mouth was on fire.

This is saying a lot as about half the table was Korean and they’re no strangers to spicy food.

The rest of the food was spicy but not obscenely so.

Well…

Her: will you try it first? It looks good but I can’t handle much spice.
Me: Sure! (later) It’s not spicy at all.
Her: (takes bite, instant red face) OMG! Are you trying to kill me?? That’s soooooo spicy!
Me: What?! There’s no spice to it. (takes another bite and starts to cough) OMG…I just got a pepper. That is so spicy!
Her: I told you!

Also, chatted up a fella that was there with a whole crew of people celebrating their friend Eli’s 30th – they all wore the same shirt.

Eli has quality friends.

Afterward, we hit up a bar close to the restaurant…

…but had to bolt a bit early because the snow was seriously coming down.

All-in-all, it was a great night. Saw my friends and hung out with my girl.

Not a bad way to start off the new year.

Location: the dentist’s, telling him he’ll be ok
Mood: exhausted
Music: all I want – I promise that it’s not a lie – is to be your friend (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 4 – Home again

All good things

The last few days, we just lounged around, and I caught up on alla the eating I missed out on in the first few days.

And then some.

Even ended up having some peanut butter, which I’d not had for five days, probably the longest I’d gone without peanut butter in over a decade.

Waiter: Just peanut butter?
Me: Yup.
Waiter: (brings over a small tablespoon) Here you go.
Me: Thanks! Oh…we’re gonna need a lot more than that.

There was some unpleasantness with the kid, who was probably cranky from lack of sleep – he loved everything about the trip and just refused to nap and also got argumentative at night.

But he still had a grand time and ended up making a buncha friends there.

And I kept catching up on eating.

Although I did also get to see more and more of the ship, since I wasn’t able to see it the first three days or so.

Here’s a cool video I shot from the exterior elevator.

Plus, Firecracker and I also got to sneak in (a tiny bit of) time to ourselves.

Then the next day we were home.

Him: I don’t wanna go.
Me: All good things – and bad things – have to come to an end, kiddo. And here we are.

Saw my brother, who was in town, later on that day but that’s a completely different story.

Me: Whoa, I lost close to six pounds on the trip! That’s shocking because of alla the carbs I had the first few days and that I didn’t work out at all.
Her: (laughing) It’s not that shocking considering how many times you went the first few days.
Me: Yes but…six pounds!

Oh, and it turns out I did shoot the birds on our balcony after all.

Location: my old gym, shooting some more Scenic Fights videos
Mood: un-rested
Music: Once bitten, twice shy, don’t leave me high and dry (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 3 – Looks like I’m back

So, it would seem

Since we were only in Bermuda for a total of six hours, we had a lot more time to tour the ship some more.

I got to check out alla the places I didn’t get to go to the first few days because I was so sick.

A lotta of the things I probably woulda done had I not gotten sick but after that, I really just wanted to lounge around and rest.

Afterwards, the Firecracker enrolled us all in a contest where we go against the officers in trivia – it was called, “Are you smarter than a ship’s officer?”

Turns out, we were.

Won a bottle of champagne to boot!

Later on, we caught a comedy show, which was pretty impressive because (a) it was clean enough to bring the kids and (b) he spent the whole time – hilariously – riffing on the audience.

It was quite impressive.

Most modern cruises have waterslides, if not mini waterparks; well, the MSC Meraviglia had a waterpark that the kids just loved.

I’d been feeling better so I ended up joining them for some of it.

Later on that night was their “white night,” so we dressed in white to support.

Whereas before, I ate essentially what one might consider “normally” – which is I would eat three meals, with an appetizer, main dish, and maybe a dessert.

However, because I was (finally) feeling back to my old self…

…I ate a lot more than that.

A LOT more.

Her: It looks like you’re back.
Me: So, it would seem. (reaching over) Are you gonna eat that?

Later on that night, a MASSIVE flock of sparrows crowded on our balcony.

I turned on the lights in my cabin to get a better view and two immediately slammed into the glass wall and hurt themselves (they later flew off) so I shut off the lights.

Was too beat to take a pic so you’ll have to trust me on that.

Didn’t open my door, though, even though I wanted to.

If I did, I’m sure this woulda happened:

Location: the kid’s jits class, nursing a sore back
Mood: tired
Music: bring back the water, let your ships roll in (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 2 – Dressing up, Teppanyaki, BRATTY, and the Beach

In Bermuda and my head

Finally emerged on day three still feeling pretty off but less like death warmed over so I ventured out with everyone to brekkie.

Him: Wow.
Me: What?
Him: I’ve never seen you eat so little before. And you never eat this much bread.
Me: Mommy told me that, when your stomach hurts, you have to eat BRATTY foods, which are Bread, Rice, Applesauce, Tea, Toast, and Yoghurt.

And that, my non-nauseated friends, is a list of alla the foods I’d been eating up to that point.

It’s good that I was feeling better because the Firecracker booked us all a table at teppanyaki for dinner, so we went to that.

The chef we got was a nice guy, and the food was delicious, but he was obviously still in training because he messed up the egg tricks three times.

Still, it was good, and the kids were entertained.

And I, for one, was certainly happy to have something other than bread and carbs.

Afterward, the Firecracker and I separated to do our own things.

Now, a guy was supposed to play the Rolling Stones at a bar that the Firecracker and I hit up earlier.

I didn’t have any tequila, mezcal, or anything beyond soda water so my bar experience was pretty different than it usually is.

The kid was super excited to have a small, private concert.

Unfortunately, the guy never showed.

Me: It happens. (shrugging) Whaddyagonna do?
Him: (nodding, shrugging) Yeah, whaddyagonna do?

But there was another band that was playing the Beatles, so we went to that.

The Firecracker was able to join us, so that part was pretty nice.

We also got to dress up all snazzy, like.

The next day, we arrived in Bermuda, but – like I said – there was that new hurricane developing so we were told that we only had from 9AM to 4:45PM to be in Bermuda.

So, we made the most of it and headed to Horseshoe Beach for the pink beaches.

Because the Firecracker and I had been to Bermuda (many times) before, we just hopped the bus to get there.

The last time I’d been on the bus was a decade earlier with Alison.

The last time I was in Bermuda, I was so irritated because I just wanted to remember her, but the idiot driving wouldn’t stop prattling on about nonsense.

It still makes me mad thinking about it.

This time, though, I sat with Alison’s son in the back while the Firecracker sat in another row with her son. So, I finally had my time with my thoughts and our son.

Me: Mommy and I once walked this exact route.
Him: Really?! This far!?
Me: It wasn’t my smartest idea, but mommy was nice enough to support me.

I won’t bring up Alison again in this because it fucks with my head.

In any case, after a spell, we finally arrived at the beach. The boy was underwhelmed but enjoyed being in the water.

Me? I was in and out of my head a lot for a bit.

But I did get to show the kids where I liked to go on the beach – years ago, I saw a tree growing outta rock there and found it again.

It was doing well and, somehow, that made me feel better.

We didn’t get too much time there but that’s fine.

I was just happy to be able to sit and read for a few minutes. And be in my head for a bit.

We made it back to the ship with hours to spare and stopped by the dockyard for a bit before the kid and chilled out on our balcony and had lunch together.

It was a good day, all things considered.

Location: back in the hood
Mood: less gross
Music: Suffer in the morning, but that taste is all I wanted, me and tequila (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 1 – The Grossness

Mezcal is not my friend either

Since both the Firecracker and I like cruising, we were keeping our eyes out for any last-minute trips that worked with our schedule since we didn’t get a chance to bring the kids anywhere over the summer.

Well, we came across the MSC Meraviglia, which left just from Brooklyn.

Interestingly, it was the very same ship we saw when we were on Governors Island, last.

Unfortunately, all the mezcal from the previous night hit me HARD the next morning.

It turns out that mezcal affects me even worse than tequila and I woke up feeling like death.

And that’s when I started my hourly trips to the bathroom.

Imagine your worst trip to the tiniest room times 16.

And then place at least half of those trips took place in very questionable public bathrooms.

Literally, every hour, on the hour, I had to scramble – heavy with luggage and feeling as weak as water in the rain – to find a bathroom and do my (very gross) duty.

Her: Listen, you gotta rally. They’re not gonna let you on the ship if you look like you’re sick and they won’t believe it’s alcohol poisoning.
Me: I’m not unaware. (pause) Annnnnd, I gotta go again.

Somehow, we made it onto the ferry where I tried my level best not to leave my DNA.

I was resolutely unsuccessful, although I did manage to leave it in the proper area within the bathroom.

The boy, however, was completely unfazed and still pretty excited for his second cruise.

Managed to put on a stoic face long enough to make it onto the ship where I entered my room, despite being told it wouldn’t be ready for another three hours.

Attendant: I’m sorry sir, your room isn’t ready yet.
Me: Is it possible for you to just clean around me? I just want to nap on the couch.
Him: OK, sir.

I was hoping he wasn’t gonna narc and he didn’t.

The Firecracker took care of both kids the first two days as I just stayed in the bed and went to the bathroom.

Again, every hour, on the hour for 48 hours.

She did manage to enjoy herself without me, which I found shocking.

I literally ate nuthin but bread and water those first 48 hours.

Boy: I’ve never seen you eat this many carbs.
Me: (eating another roll) This is how papa’s gonna be for a while.

This is pretty much all I ate for the first two days. It was carbtastic!

Well, I did try to have some French onion soup.

That was ill-advised.

Now, I thought that I did a pretty good job hiding how rotten I felt.

Me: (weakly but proudly) I don’t think anyone could tell.
Her: (laughing) Are you kidding me? The waiter immediately asked, once you left, “Is your husband feeling ok?”
Me: And there I thought I was doing some Oscar quality work. (shaking head) I’m a terrible liar.

The next night, I felt ok enough to hit up a show…

…or two…

…but it was a struggle.

I’ll write more tomorrow but not mention the unpleasantness.

Until then, enjoy the Firecracker almost killing the second performer; prior to this, the kid was the star of the show – the emcee selected him to talk about his trip to the ship and, man, did he have a lot to say – but I didn’t record it because I was laughing so much.

Shame really…

I’ll end with a sunny shot of the Firecracker.

Still felt like death while taking it.

Location: back in the hood
Mood: less gross
Music: Sick of rainy weather but I know we’ll be fine (Spotify)
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It started off all so well

Anything from Bibigo is solid

We were supposed to meet up with the Surgeon and his family for some hot pot the other night but that shifted to a party at their pad, which was actually even better since the kids could play.

Wanted to bring something so I asked Pac if he could recommend something to buy at H Mart now that it was in the UWS.

Me: Heading to a dinner party tomorrow and don’t wanna schlepp alla way to Chinatown for Chinese dumplings.
Him: Anything from Bibigo is solid.

So, we went and got a bag of beef dumplings and a bag of pork ones.

While the pork was definitely good, the beef was killer and we chowed through a lotta that before the other guests even came.

The Surgeon was mixing drinks all night and said – at the end of the night – that we kicked an entire bottle of mezcal with the four of us (him, his wife, me, and the Firecracker).

I didn’t think that it would affect me the same way as tequila does, but it turns out, it’s much, much, much worse on me than tequila is, which is saying a lot.

More on that in the next entry.

You may wanna skip that one.

In any case, the Surgeon and I popped out so he could pick up some sushi for everyone as well.

When we got back, more people were there, including a student of the Surgeon’s wife, who’s a professor of music and pretty talented in her own right.

Somehow, we got onto the topic of Scenic Fights and he immediately connected that I was the Logan from it.

After we posted the below pic on IG, his friend wrote him and said, “What?! How!?”

I’m regularly legit shocked at how much I get recognized these days.

Anywho, the party was great but we had to leave early(ish).

We were catching a ship to Bermuda early in the AM.

That’s where the mezcal makes another appearance.

Repeatedly.

I’ll fill you in alla the grossness in the next entry.

It started off all so well but, after all these years, I have to remind myself that tequila/mezcal, is not my friend…

Location: Back in the UWS
Mood: hangry
Music: Now I’m taking sips of your potion (Spotify)
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Tacos make everything just a touch better

I’d like a roof deck too

The above was just a great shot by my friend Ricky when we went to see him the other day and I wanted to post it before the weather got too cold and it looked outta place.

I’ll never move, I don’t think, but if I ever did, I’d like a roof deck as well.

I had a friend watch the boy recently because I needed to do that Scenic Fights shoot the other day and the Firecracker wasn’t around to help out.

Although the shoot was cancelled, I still had her come by because it wouldn’t be fair to suddenly cancel on someone because I screwed up.

I’m glad I did because I found out when she came by that she just had a loss in her immediate family and if there’s anything I understand, it’s loss.

Me: Do you want to have dinner with us? If yes, I’ll pick up a buncha birra tacos?
Her: Oh snap! Sounds good!

I actually finished up everything I had to do earlier that day and was gonna head over to the killer taco truck I told you about when I figured she could use some amazeballs tacos herself.

It was a small thing but I gotta say that all the small things that people did for me added up in big ways.

I’m grateful for that.

Plus, let’s be honest, (good) tacos make everything just a touch better, if only for a little bit.

Location: somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with two kids and the Firecracker
Mood: disconcerted
Music: I howled at the morning driving rain – but it’s all right now (Spotify)
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Simple is anything but

Some good reason

Boy: It was unexpectedly warm today.
Me: Man, do I talk like that?

I’m not sure how five-year olds talk but my son looks like a five-year old Chinese kid but acts like a 65 year-old Italian man.

Him: Do you want to listen to Linda Ronstadt or Neil Diamond?
Me: Uh…

I forgot to mention that, when I went to pick him up last time, Mouse was nice enough bring the whip to get him. But we first stopped off in NJ to meet up with Pac and his girl for some Korean food.

I look way too excited to get some food into me in this pic.

The restaurant we went to was actually a branch of the place we normally hit up.

Me: (to Pac’s girlfriend) So, in the Queens place, there’s a sign that says 90+ people eat for half off and 100+ people eat for free. When Mouse and Chad turn 90, we’re going to make them regret that choice.
Her: That’s some long term planning.
Me: Gotta have goals in life.

And in the middle of dinner, someone had a birthday party there. Man, I miss indoor dining and birthday parties – can’t remember the last time anything memorable happened for mine.

Pac: When are you gonna move outta your Upper West Side basement apartment and into NJ?
Me: I will stab you in your eye, man.

Speaking of the Upper West Side, Lviv’s back in town. She was away for a spell and hit me up the moment she walked in her pad.

She’s been thinking about new living arrangements and asked about my building.

Her: I doubt I’d move to UWS unless there was some good reason to.

I was gonna tell her that it’s the Upper Best Side but my life is needlessly complicated as it is.

And trying to simplify it is anything but…

Location: home, making ribs
Mood: hard to say
Music: you don’t know it all (Spotify)
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It’s time

There is a chance

The boy was at my mother-in-law’s for the 4th of July. As I said in the last entry, my 4th was awful. That’s because I spent it cleaning out Alison’s closet and wardrobe.

You see, I finally got some sleep the other day and I woke up knowing I had to do it.

When my dad died, my mom, to her credit, spent a solid month cleaning out alla his stuff. Everything.

Like I said, women are simply emotionally stronger than most men.

But I let Alison’s closet and wardrobe sit there.

Man, Alison was a wiz at maximizing space; everything was jam-packed but perfectly organized.

The past two years, I cleaned things here and there but never really did what my mom did and just cleaned it out.

Mentioned alla this to my MIL when I saw her. She always says the right thing.

Her: I’m glad. Save a few special things, and then put everything else into two garbage bags and donate it. Alison would have wanted you to do that.
Me: I know. If the roles were reversed, I’d want her to do it too.
Her:  Yes. (gently) Clean out her things, Logan. It’s time.
Me: (nodding)

It was excruciating. However bad you think it was, it was worse.

Ended up dropping off seven bags worth of things at the local Goodwill. Screamed at no one about that many times.

Took until after midnight but once it was all done, I felt different. Better.

There’s never any closure but I think all the reminders of her everywhere added to my underlying sadness and complicated things.

I also put away her pictures, although they’re still out in the boy’s room, where they should be.

It’s a start.

Him: People got to know you through your blog, and her as well. It’s clear to everyone that you loved her and always will love her. Some of what you wrote was like poetry. (thinking) But I’m glad you talked to your MIL. She’s the only person that can give you any real advice.
Me: Yeah. (thinking) It’s like a million years ago and like yesterday.
Him: (nodding) It’s good. You did the right thing (cleaning out Alison’s closet).

I saw Mouse briefly the other day when some friends got together for AYCE Korean food and some axe throwing.

She’s quite good at it. Wanted to tell her about the closet and wardrobe but it didn’t feel right.

Afterward, she and I decided to get some dessert and coffee together.

There was so much I wanted to say to her, but she handed me one of her headphone earbuds and we just listened to music on the ride over.

Dunno what the future holds for us, if anything, but I’d be lying if I said wasn’t happy to see her.

Me: It’s no excuse, but you met me at a weird and awful time in my life. 
Her: I know, Logan. But… (shakes head)
Me: No chance at all?
Her: (laughing) Like a moonshot chance.
Me: I’ll take that. (later) So, there is a chance.

Suppose you’ll have to read her blog to find details, if any. After all, it’s how I get most of my info about her these days.

Speaking of music, my brother sent me some song suggestions the other day, before I wrote my last entry.

Interestingly, one of the songs he said I should listen to was Be the One by Dua Lipa, and the lyrics actually work well with the story about The Taming of the Shrew, which I found interesting.

Maybe that’s just me.

Location: an emptier home
Mood: hopeful
Music: just another chance

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Trying not to fake it

Went out to eat again

Gymgirl: We’re both human. People make mistakes
Me: Some more than others.
Her: Like when you trusted Pac to watch the place?

Went out to eat with my cousin and her fella, along with the Gymgirl and my buddy, Pac – that’s him making some congee above.

We went to another hot pot joint, this time Spring Shabu Shabu in Flushing.

Me: The wait’s over 30 minutes? Why don’t we go someplace else?
Him: This place has all you can eat sides, veggies, and ice cream.
Me: Sold.

We stuffed ourselves silly. Being on this diet, it takes a long time to feel full – and this time I felt full, finally.

I had a good time. I feel like I’m faking it a lot but there are moments when I think I’m not.

Hopefully, in time, that feeling’ll go away.

Me: I want to have some ice cream but…
Gymgirl: (stopping eating) Say it! Say it!
Me: (confused) …I wish I had some peanut butter.
Her: (reaches into bag and triumphantly takes out a package and hands it to me) Here.

The company helps.

Location: Still at home with a mouse
Mood: still discomforted
Music: I feel like like there might be something that I’ll miss
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