Got a new camera and named her Syd
Her: That’s cheating.
Me: I don’t say I’m gay, they just ask and I politely decline to answer. Besides, how’s it cheating?
Her: It’s dishonest! You’re not gay and you should tell them right away.
Me: (rolling eyes) Please. Men don’t wear three-inch heels, makeup, or anything that starts with the words “push up.” What you see is what you get. I assure you, there’s been more than one time when I don’t even recognize the girl the next time around.
Her: (ignoring comment) So how to they find out you’re not?
Me: (laughing) That’s a whole different conversation.
Me: I have no idea why I keep meeting chicks that are so young.
Her: I think it’s how you dress.
Me: (puzzled) How I dress? How should I dress?
Her: Have you ever thought about shopping at the Gap?
Me: (pause) No.