It was supposed to be someone else
Her: (smiling) Hey!
Me: Hey, pretty lady! Fancy meeting you here.
Every once in a while, I’ll see someone that looks a little like Alison walking outside. She was always perfectly put together.
Some of the happiest moments in my entire life was when I bumped into her and she’d smile the most beautiful smile at me.
That that will never happen again is enough to make me cry in a subway station by my lonesome. It’s so goddamn painful.
Alison’s been sleeping all day and night. She’s only awake for a few minutes a day now.
On the other hand, I’ve not been getting any sleep. The unfairness of it all keeps me up.
The thing is that horrifies me is what should horrify you: It wasn’t supposed to be us.
It’s never supposed to be us. It’s always supposed to be someone else.
- I wanted three kids, she wanted two.
- I wanted to stay in Manhattan, she wanted to live with green grass and shade.
That was pretty much the extent of our major disagreements.
We were supposed to have time to work those things out, to have a life together. She was supposed to finally be able to have her own family.
She was athletic. She ran almost every day. Played soccer for years. She ate healthfully. Took care of herself. Didn’t smoke. Rarely drank.
It’s never supposed to be us.
It’s always supposed to be someone else.
And now – like that story Button, Button – we’ve become your someone else.
Me: (quietly, by her bed) Hey, pretty lady. Fancy meeting you here.
Location: at the foot of her bed
Mood: still broken
Music: been searching a long time for someone exactly like you
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