No harm

Halfway(ish) through May

The pastor from Vision Church stopped by my neighborhood.

Me: I’m always surprised anyone ever wants to do anything with me. I’m a whirlpool of sadness, I think.
Him: People care about you. You should let them.

We went out for a cup of coffee that I promptly spilled onto the neighboring table with an older Italian couple.

Me: Well, looks like the clumsy is still working. Sorry about that.
Italian gentleman: That’s a fine. No harm.
Me: You’re Italian. My wife was Italian.

The pastor invited me to a concert and I told him that the last concert I went to was a Coldplay concert. Told him that concerts were much more her thing than mine.

Speaking of things, I didn’t feel up to going out with people on Saturday – Alison’s birthday – but I had several people, including my mother-in-law, contact me to tell me to get out of the house.

And the Gymgirl came by and insisted we do something so I found myself walking with her down Amsterdam Avenue.

We ended up at a restaurant that Alison liked called Hi-Life. Grabbed a seat outside under the awning where I had mixed rum-drinks while she had some red wine and split a burger. The Gymgirl nabbed the check afterward.

We went back to my place but not before stopping by a wine shop where she bought a bottle of red and a bottle of white.

I recalled that it was almost exactly a decade ago that Alison and I shared a glass of red wine, back when I called her Heartgirl.

The Gymgirl and I opened the red when we got back.

Her: We should watch something funny.
Me: Have you ever seen Brian Regan? I saw him live with Alison once, years ago.
Her: Let’s do it.

After a while I felt a bit better and we demolished a rack of ribs that I made. My intermittent fasting diet went out the window.

It wasn’t until midnight that I felt a sigh of relief. As if I accomplished something.

Like I said, everything that should be happy is sad instead.

Her: (pouring the last of the wine) I liked this.
Me: It was pretty good. It wasn’t rum, but it wasn’t bad. (pause) I miss her.
Her: (nodding) I know. I’m sorry. (lifting up her glass) To Alison. Happy Birthday, Alison.
Me: Happy Birthday, Alison.
Her: (nods, leans in and kisses me on my cheek)

Location: Almost half-way through May
Mood: not great, not terrible
Music: How wonderful life is while you’re in the world
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