Getting strangled at home

Ups and downs

Five years ago – heck, last year – if you had told me that (a) the country would be in lockdown, and (b) the only person I would be seeing with any regularity during this time was my coach, Chad Vazquez, I woulda thought you were insane.

Yet, here we are.

He had his first online private BJJ lesson in my pad the other day. I think it went well.

Note that he’s been coming by from time-to-time for over a month now to train and eat with zero signs of illness.

So, I’m guessing the antibodies are doing something.

Somehow, I don’t think anyone in the video is really sorry. It’s fine.

It’s nice to cook for someone besides myself. TBH, if he weren’t here, I’d probably just survive on rum and peanut butter.

Me: Can you clean up again? I’ll make tacos.
Him: Awesome! Yup.

Then again, all relationships have their ups and downs.

Me: Did you just pour the rest of your beer down the sink?
Him: Yeah, I figure we’re switching to rum, so…
Me: Are we made of money?!

As the week goes on, I feel a mixture of anxiety, sadness, and hope. The 24th is coming up and somehow, I feel as if I would have survived another year if I make it to the 25th.

I realize how ridiculous it is; it’s only something in my head.

But, as Zimbardo noted, the mind is a formidable jailer.

You gotta be tired of being locked up for the past 60 days.

I’ve been trapped alone in the basement of my brain for almost five years.

 

Podcast Version
Location: my empty apartment, surrounded by empty rum bottles
Mood: sotted
Music: can’t shake my hunger for strawberries and cigarettes (Spotify)
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