I’m right

I’ll be posting a lot less these days. I’m so insanely busy that I may have torpedoed yet another perfectly fine relationship. One day, I’m gonna run outta chances. I’ve already run outta rum.

In A Few Good Men: Lt. Daniel Kaffe says, upon entering a courtroom, “So this is what a courtroom looks like.”

Recently, I stepped into a courtroom for the first time since law school. My opposing counsel was a young woman. I remember when she walked in, I thought, She’ll be the one I go against and I was right.

Her: Where’s your lawyer?Me: I’m representing myself – I’m a lawyer. I’m actually…
Her: (interrupting) Whatever. Did you file your notice of appearance?
Me: Um…that is…?
Her: (shocked) Are you ____ing me?
Me: (shaking head) No. (pause) Can I borrow your pen?
Her: (disgusted) What kinda offer’s that?
Me: Miss, I may not know what to file where or what something’s called. And I sorta got lost coming here. But I know the law and I know I’m right. And you know it too. So tell your client, that’s my offer. (pause) You know I’m right, miss.
Her: (long pause, sigh) Lemme call her. 



Her: You should be a litigator. You would do well.
Me: (shaking head) Thank you. But no. 36 months. Then I’m out.
Her: You did well. (she repeated, holding out hand) Good luck.
Me: (shaking her hand) Thank you, I’ll take it. Happy holidays, miss.
Her: Happy holidays.

Four more to go.

I walked in the door an hour ago. I’d kill for a good stiff drink right now. Or sex. Or a good fight.


Location: 30 mins ago, looking for an open liquor store, chick or a fight
Mood: tired and vicious
Music: mercy baby I do not know what this all means

5 Replies to “Miss”

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