My grandfather passed

Hard to describe how it feels

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The thing with this disease of Alison’s is that everything else is filtered through it.

My grandfather just passed. I’d like to comfort my mother and yet I don’t have time to tear away from Alison or the kid to do anything meaningful for her.

He was the last of that generation for me; I have no biological grandparents any more. Despite not seeing him in over a decade, in addition to the sadness, it’s a strange feeling of … loneliness? Not sure how to describe it.

Last saw him on my birthday, April 17th, 2005, 11 years ago, which might explain the pants in the picture below.

Had meant to see him and my grandma again but then I got robbed and had my own cancer scare so I couldn’t.

Couldn’t even go when my grandma passed because I was tied up in court and crap, piecing my life together again.

And the past seven years have been one bit of heartbreak after another. Then Nate was born. And then everything went to hell.

Life gets in the way.

He was 97 and had lived a good long life. I look at Alison and think that she’d have to live another 60 years to equal what he’s lived through. What a thing to think.

Was told that, near the end, he combed his hair. He was getting ready to see his wife again. We do so love our wives in my family.

Speaking of love, grandpa, I always loved you and grandma, even if I couldn’t head home to tell you in person.

You woulda loved to meet the kid. He’s got a grin like grandma’s. I woulda loved for you to meet the kid.

Rest in peace, and tell grandma that I miss her and our late night talks.

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Location: home, debating whether or not to go to the hospital again
Mood: sad
Music: Monsieur, lay down your burden
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3 thoughts on “My grandfather passed”

  1. So sorry to hear that you couldn’t visit him for far too long. I know how that feels. Life happens. Hope you get through this too. My condolences. Praying for you and your family.

  2. My heart still aches for my grandmother and grandfather. Guess we can still visit them in spirit. Take care Logan.

  3. Just an I nterested reader from Los Angeles. I never knew my grandparents as they all passed before I was born and lost both my parents in my early 30’s. I so wish I was able to spend time with them. I’m sorry for your loss. Wondering how your wife is doing? Keeping your little family in my thoughts and prayers.

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