Thanksgiving 2011 – it’s always darkest before the…?

Man walking in front of a church off Times Square, NYC

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Danger – slightly religious post below:

Had a really strange day. A owner in my building refused to fix an $11 toilet handle resulting in hundreds of dollars in damage to the rest of the building. She’s a self-professed “good but misunderstood person.”

I submit that if you ever have to say the words, “I’m a good but misunderstood person,” you’re most likely neither.

Speakinga stuff y’say, there’s this saying that it’s always darkest before the dawn. But I think it’s always darkest before the storm. Meaning that no matter how dark it gets, it can always get darker. Still, figure that if you know this, you can outlast it.

Saw my friend Johnny in the middle of the night – this Thanksgiving he didn’t physically punch me the gut. But he still hit me there.

Cause he’s onea the people in the hospital I told you about. In the middle of an empty room save the two chairs we occupy, he says he’s gonna be ok. We’ve known each other 20 years, I say.

Me: You gotta be ok. It’s hard having friends for this long in this life.
Him: I’m ok, man. (pause) Been reading the bible. Trying to understand stuff.
Me: No kidding. (thinking) In all these years, we’ve never talked about God, yeah? Cause I figure that we all meet God on our own terms. But can I tell you what I think?
Him: Sure.
Me: The point of the bible, I think. Is that unlike any other religion I know, the people that live good lives – the best lives – get ____ed. Jesus get nailed to some planks to die in agony, John the Baptist gets decapitated as a party favour, Job loses everything just so God can tell a good story. It goes on. I think it says we’re promised nuthin but misery and if you get any little bit of joy, you should be grateful, because it’s still more than we’re promised.
Him: If that’s the point of the bible, what’s the point of it all? Life?
Me: (thinking) Maybe – and what do I know – we’re no different than the rocks and trees and there isn’t a purpose. Or maybe it’s that we can choose to repay the aether somehow and that both makes us different and gives it and us purpose. Maybe the point is that we do good things to make the world a little less unfair and we do it to give our own lives meaning. Maybe nonea us own anything, we’re just supposed to take carea everything for the next guy. We’re supposed to leave this joint here better than when we arrived. Maybe that’s the point, Johnny.

Say it every Thanksgiving – that it’s about making our lives better by making life better. I think that’s the meaning of it all.

Have a Happy Turkey Day, all.

And if you’re reading this from a place without a Turkey Day, you should still have some turkey.



Location: home
Mood: good
Music: am done with my graceless heart so tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

8 replies on “Thanksgiving 2011 – it’s always darkest before the…?”

I like how you think. When I think about life and purpose Rumi "The Circle Around Zero" pops in my head.. Actually just read a book of his poems.. love Sufist poetry…

I was in Aix-en-Provence. I didn't have Turkey. πŸ™ But, I had a souris d'agneau with gratin. πŸ™‚

If I'm still in France next year I'll try and be more prepared, pre-order a turkey and not end up randomly in a different city.

Hope your friend gets well. I lost my one childhood friend 6 years ago, and, it still sucks.

I'm pretty much Turkeyed out at this point, can't handle any more so that's probably for the best. I'm not sure that you need to plan anything out, its nice to wake up and see where the day takes you. I'm def. a bit jealous that you're carefree enough to travel around Europe working on your art.

Yes, I'm hoping that he's ok too. I've got to give him a ring soon to check up on him; I just don't want to be a pest.

I've been meaning to ask you if you've done any pencil art recently. I'm working on a story and there's a picture I have in my head that I thought you might be able to help me out with.

Hey Logan,
Mmm wish I had some turkey. I'm thinking of ordering a turkey sometime (I read an American girls blog who's in France who had pre-ordered a turkey for the past few years!) and do a stuffed turkey just because. Would be good to learn; and I just love it. I know a bunch of new friends here who also missed out on the T's day feast- so they prob. wouldn't mind either!

I'm not sure if I'm carefree… I do follow my heart. I just went with the opportunity. I'm dependent on the bf financially, which isn't ideal, but it's for now. I do work, but don't make nearly enough to live off of.

I haven't been drawing lately due to all this traveling. But, now esp that the winter's here and I'll be spending a lot of time home, will get back into it. I have so much inspiration. I do do work on pencil. The latest one was a portrait, which I then incorporated watercolor and paper into –last image on right), but it may have been nicer if I had just left the pencil. Drawings in pure pencil can be so powerful and intimate. I want to do more.

I can email you if you would like to explain your project to me in private.

Heya! Yes, email me. I went and looked at your work previously and thought it was great but I have something specific in mind. Logan 607 at hotmail.

You should enjoy the time you have but def. don't stop doing the art. I got some of my best writing done when I was traveling, it was great.

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