Modern communications

Pretty things

I was texting with my brother throughout the whole colonoscopy prep ordeal and thought it was pretty funny.

 

Now, I’m finding that, despite my best efforts, texting/messaging is the main way I communicate with people these days.

Although, I much prefer email; it’s just the nature of modern day communications.

Anywho, I’ve saved a buncha texts meaning to write about them but never have.

Like this exchange between me and one of my 30-something friends, who is not Asian.

 

A lot of the funny texts I have are with women that I’ve dated in the past that are now friends of mine.

I’m always rooting for them to succeed in life, even if I’m not their life partner. Although for many complex reasons…

 

 

OK, maybe not that complex.

A buddy of mine asked how to be good on text with women and I told him that honesty is a major component of it.

It’s not so much about being yourself, it’s about being your authentic best self.

For example, this girl had to reschedule but we ended up meeting at my newest fave dive bar the other day – she was worried I thought she was standing me up, which I thought was rather cute.

 

 

I’ve only ever been stood up once, by the Heiress. People with a ton of money think that money buys them the right to be douchebags. It doesn’t.

Now, can’t tell you how many first dates I go on…second dates are another matter entirely.

Although, the likelihood of a second date happening rises exponentiality if there’s food and an open bar to be had.

Case in point, a while back, I essentially had to run interference on this girl’s very handsy coworker/ex-fling (who was definitely breaking some HR rules) which, I was happy to do because (a) she was easy on the eyes and (b) the alcohol was comped and top-shelf.

 

Honestly, there’s not much I won’t do for some free, top-shelf alcohol.

And running interference is fun.

Him: I run the division. What about you?
Me: Oh, I dabble in this and that. Mostly, I drink.
Her: (interjecting) He’s a lawyer that owns a gym in Union Square and has a YouTube channel where he teaches people to fight with knives.
Him: Ooooh, should I be scared?
Me: Not yet, no…

So, if you’re a woman that needs someone to run interference for you – and there’s food and drink involved – I’m your guy.

I should start a business or something…

Him: Why do you look so nice, papa?
Me: Well, I think I look pretty good most days.
Him: (laughing) Nooooooooooooooooooooo…
Me: (shaking head) Everyone’s a critic.

Location: earlier today, a penthouse apartment near my pad
Mood: busy, busy, busy
Music: Ain’t it such a good life that we live? (Spotify)
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