The night was young and we had umbrellas in our drinks

And foot-long spam hotdogs to boot

When the kid’s away for the week, I usually try and hit up the gym every day – sometimes even twice a day.

But, because I didn’t wanna rip open the cut above my eye, I couldn’t go to the gym for most of the time.

It was fine, though.

Was supposed to meet Bryson and The Frenchman for karaoke and drinks on Saturday – I’m not a karaoke person but I like going just to be social and be entertained.

But on Friday night, the Firecracker hit me up because she had a Ukranian friend from Austria in town and wanted to know if I wanted to meet them for drinks. That made hanging out on Saturday impossible.

Her: She’s heading back to Austria tomorrow morning so tonight’s the only night I can see her.
Me: OK, I’m down.
Her: We can meet at the Tiki Chick. They have $5 chicken sandwiches and is a rum bar.
Me: Sold!

Her friend was already at the bar when we arrived.

Because the Firecracker had been there so many times, the bartenders motioned to us when the corner seats were available – despite a huge line – so we took them.

Here’s the thing; I’m a sucker for a pina colada for a buncha reasons:

• • • They almost always come with umbrellas.
    • They’re made with rum and coconuts.
    • They remind me of my dad.

Honestly, how can you go wrong?

Oh, lemme tell you – you can go wrong when they’re $12 at happy hour and you consume waaaaay too many of them.

Plus a mai tai, a hurricane, and a rum and diet coke (because I gotta watch my weight, right?). It’s amazing we I didn’t fall off the stool.

Noticed a pretty appropriate book, nestled among the tiki mugs – which also remind me of my dad.

It was cool. The night was young and we had umbrellas in our drinks.

Spoke to her friend for a bit.

Her: Sie sagt, du sprichst ein bisschen Deutsch.
Me: Nur ein bisschen. Leider habe ich zuviel vergessen.
Her: Ihre Aussprache ist sehr gut.
Me: Ack, quatch. Aber danke.

The three of us drank way, way, way too much.

Waaaaaaaay too much.

I also told the two of them that I wasn’t gonna eat anything because I was drinking so many calories…

…BUT I ended up not only getting a chix sandwich…

…BUT ALSO getting comped a foot-long hot dog…with SPAM, because of a mistake they made.

Him: Just take it, we’ll throw it out if you don’t eat it.
Me: Well, we can’t have that.

After alla that, I headed down to the restroom.

Even though I was two sheets to the wind, I did notice that there was a drink that someone left on the sink. While inside, a woman called in.

Her: (outside) Is there a drink in there?!
Me: Maybe!
Her: Don’t drink it!
Me: It’s America!

When I stepped out, I handed her the drink.

Her: Whoa, that’s a nasty cut you have there. (looking closely) Krazy glue?
Me: How’d you know?
Her: I’m a surgeon. (peering closely) You did a good job. That’ll heal nicely.
Me: Thanks doc. I promise I didn’t roofie your drink.

Made my way back up to the bar and the Firecracker and told her what happened, among other things.

Her: (afterward) You are a really solid dude.
Me: Yeah, I’m pretty fucking wonderful. (thinking) Man, I should NOT have had that hot dog.

Location: this morning, prepping for court and telling them that they’re not ready for what I can do
Mood: upset
Music: If I let you in, I won’t let you go (Spotify)
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