Tempting fate
I’ve been tempting fate for the past year or so by keeping my toothpaste and my hand creme next to each other on the bathroom sink.
(Yes, I brush with children’s toothpaste; it’s easier and neater than having two things that perform the exact same function).
Well, it finally happened: I recently mixed the two up in the worst way. My skin smells like outrageous orange mango and my teeth and gums are now fully moisturized.
Not altogether terrible, I suppose.
And, if nothing else, my luck remains ever consistent. Case-in-point, I made the kid guacamole recently. Above is what I saw when I opened it.
After I was done laughing, my mind went dirty as I recalled a conversation with a young woman.
She told me she was getting hot and heavy with some dude and ended up having precisely the opposite experience of what I just had with this avocado.
Me: What did you do?
Her: What could I do? We were in it.
So, it’s not just my luck that could use improving.
Speaking of my luck, there’s a folder of stuff from my life before Alison that I spent years decades curating. It was almost my third career. I went looking for it recently for reasons that aren’t important and it’s gone.
I’m not sure if it disappeared during the second theft or Sleepy Logan deleted it or someone came into my apartment and deleted it.
It’s both maddening and slightly frightening.
Him: You never made a backup?
Me: That was my backup.
Spent the better part of a week searching for that folder. As I was looking for it, I thought about an old friend that helped me develop what was in it.
I’ve not him seen in a while – like the folder, he just up and disappeared.
Me: I’m thinking of trying to find him.
Him: How would you even start?
Me: I don’t know. I’m not sure how to find someone that’s as smart as him that doesn’t want to be found.
Speaking of Sleepy Logan, it’s hard to say sometimes if he’s me or I’m him.
I get confused even now. So little about my life makes any sense to me anymore.
Her: What are you looking for?
Me: Someone to be on my side, I suppose.
Her: (laughing) That doesn’t sound like too big an ask.
Me: You’d be surprised.
Her: And if someone was?
Me: (shrugging) I’d always be on hers.
Just got some more absolutely devastating news about another friend of mine.
What it is about young Caucasian women dealing with life-threatening illnesses?
Luck is such a strange and heartbreaking thing.
Location: yesterday, around the Soup Nazi joint
Mood: busy
Music: It’s my life, I’m just fine, eating avocado (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
2 replies on “Luck is strange and heartbreaking”
I like how you use children’s toothpaste! I use baby hair conditioner and skin moisturiser 😄
[…] saw my post and, like a million people I know, is dealing with her own health issues, so she shot me […]