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A Hidden Find

The Irish Hunger Memorial

Me: (hobbling home after a workout and groaning the whole time)
Her: You’re really selling this, “Look at me, I’m so young for 50” thing.
Me: I need a nap.

The Firecracker and I were trying to figure what we could do to entertain both kids when we decided to take a long bike/scooter ride down the West Side Greenway to Battery Park City.

We ended up at the Rockefeller Park Playground for a few hours where the kids had fun…

Me: (watching him start playing with some new kids) Man, this kid can be friends with anyone.
Her: That is impressive.

…and the Firecracker and I continued with some stupid human tricks.

Her: I want a cuppa coffee. Do you want some?
Me: It’s getting late. Can I just get some of yours?
Her: Fiiine.

Afterward, I ended up going to the coffee shop myself to use their restroom when I passed the Irish Hunger Memorial.

I’d read about it in Times a little while back and saw a quick little video on CBS Sunday Morning on it.

This isn’t it but you get the point.

I thought about Alison, who was fiercely proud of being both Irish and Italian, as well as the time I went to Boston and saw the Irish famine artwork there.

It was a quiet and peaceful place and, weirdly, it really does make you feel like you’re somewhere else. Now, I’ve never been to Ireland before but I can picture it looking similar.

Took this with my phone and it’s way overexposed. Sorry.

Sometimes, I wonder how Chinese and how American this kid will be. And will he have any interest in the Irish and Italian sides of himself?

I’d love for him to be able to speak Chinese, though. Unfortunately, my Chinese is so crappy, I avoid speaking Chinese to him but maybe I should just do it.

Although, at the end of the day, he’ll be whomever he’s supposed to be, I suppose.

Me: Are you listening to the Backstreet Boys?
Him: (stops singing) Yeah, I like this song.
Me: Where on earth do you find these songs?
Him: (shrugging) I dunno. (starts singing again)
Me: (shrugging also and join him)

 

Location: Two different supermarkets, trying to bake some pumpkin pies
Mood: fat
Music: Looking back on the things I’ve done, I was trying to be someone (Spotify)
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A night of stupid human tricks

Silver and Gold

Forgot to put up pictures of the cooked purple sweet potatoes (on the left) and the regular purple potatoes (on the right); the sweet potatoes tasted a bit mediciney while the purple regular potato tasted exactly like a regular potato.

I bought a bunch so I’ll keep messing around to see what I might be able to do with them.

The Frenchman invited us to his pad the other night for hot pot.

Me: We’re in! What should we bring?
Him: Awesome. Food-wise, I’m covered.
Me: I can bring an assortment of sticks and knives?

The Firecracker and I brought our respective kids as well, so it was a full house.

The Firecracker never had hot pot until this past summer with my college friends, so I told her that this was a Japanese version of it, which she was excited to try.

Now, the Frenchman is half Japanese so he did a bang-up job with everything, making a hot pot version of Chanko Nabe, which is a special type of Japanese soup that was designed for sumo wrestlers to gain weight.

Her: Wow, that looks so great!
Me: I’m particularly excited for alla the mushrooms.
Her: Me too!

The cool thing that no one realized was that it was the Frenchman’s birthday just a few days later so his wife Tess ended up turning it into a surprise birthday party – the Firecracker and I felt honored that we were invited.

Afterwards, we got to know some of his other guests – some of them, he’s known for over 25 years, which is pretty impressive.

Like that old poem: Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold.

They’re both in finance so their apartment’s view was full-on gorgeous.

The food was so amazing that we stuffed ourselves silly. At the very least, I did.

Now, I brought a six-pack of beer to go with dinner and the Firecracker brought a bottle of rose. However, considering that I drank five bottles of the six-pack and the Firecracker drank several glasses of wine, we essentially showed up with drinks for ourselves.

It also meant that, after several hours of eating and drinking, I started doing some stupid human tricks.

Now, the Frenchman is super athletic – we met in our gym, after all – and I mentioned that the ability to sit and stand without the use of one’s hands is an indicator of overall health and strength.

Well, we went one step further and did this drill I did in my 20s, which is sitting down, hugging your knees, shooting a foot out, holding that foot/ankle with your hand, and then standing up with one single leg, all while never allowing your held foot to touch the ground.

I had eaten – and drank – waaaaaay too much that night and kept falling down.

Me: Welp, honey, looks like this may be the first and last time we’re ever invited over.
Her: (laughs)

But the very next day, in the park with the Firecracker and our kids, I tried it again and was able to do it every single time – AND I have video proof of it.

I’m sure I’ll find ways to embarrass the boy even more as he gets older.

But more on that in another entry.

 

Location: earlier today, my kid’s gym, watching him get his first coloured belt
Mood: tired
Music: probably with that blonde girl who always made me doubt (Spotify)
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Purple (Potato) Eater

Unlimited food and Listerine

Me: 10 mins to next train!
Her: Boo!

Been on a different quest lately, this time to find purple sweet potatoes – that is to say, purple fleshed sweet potatoes, versus just purple skinned sweet potatoes.

I’d been searching for it for a while now, including at various green markets throughout the city, but it’s almost always the purple skinned but white fleshed variety.

With that said, after leaving the gym this past Saturday, it was a 10-minute wait until the next train, so I decided to look around for paw-paws.

No paw-paws were to be found BUT I came across this tiny little sign on a small table with purple potatoes and grabbed a few pounds of it.

With that in hand, I decided to continue looking for the paw-paws when I came across some Adirondak Blue potatoes from Cornell University.

Me: Are these sweet potatoes or just regular potatoes?
Him: Just regular ones. (long pause) Except they’re purple.
Me: Noted.

These I’d never heard of, so I picked up some of these as well.

Him: I dunno. One out of ten?
Me: (shaking head) No, man. It’s one outta three.
Him: GTFOH.
Me: (shaking head) For real, man.

Alison’s sickness has had a profound effect on me as a parent.

The reason why I’ve been searching for things like purple sweet potatoes is their amazing health benefits – particularly because those that eat it as a staple carbohydrate often life to 100.

I cannot tell you how many times during a week that I meet people that think that I live a particularly rigorous life, when it comes to diet and exercise but what is now normal for most Americans.

But the normal American diet and lifestyle means that one outta three people will get cancer in their lifetime.

That’s just insane. That means, outta a group of a dozen friends FOUR will get cancer in their life.

So, I do what I can so that the kid’s lifestyle is as anti-cancer as I can make it.

Nuthin’s guaranteed in life but I’m trying to do whatever I can to make this kid’s life better.

He’s my treasure, after all.

Hopefully, his seeing me drink predominately green tea and eat things like purple sweet potatoes and head to the gym four times a week will have a lasting effect on his own choices.

That is, of course, if they actually like it.

Me: What do you think?
Him: (makes a face) I don’t like it.
Me: (to Firecracker) What about you? What do you think?
Her: I dunno. It has an aftertaste of…Listerine?
Me: Wha?! I don’t taste that all. You’re crazy. (much later) OK, I taste it now.
Her: See! I told you! Listerine!
Me: (grumble) Lemme think about this…

The kid(s) have been talking about going on another cruise non-stop.

Honestly, I kinda wanna retire completely just so I can go on cruises indefinitely.

Great views, unlimited food, exotic locales, unlimited food, instant vacations, unlimited food…

Really, what more could one ask for?

Location: this evening, sitting on at playground, hearing a teacher at a French school talk about the wild horses in Chincoteague, Virginia
Mood: sore
Music: It’s a hunger that never ends, it’s an urge you can’t comprehend (Spotify)
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Date night!

A stellar night

Me: I just realized that the kid has a party tonight from 6:30 to 9PM, do you wanna…
Her: Date night!

A few months ago, I got an email from my kid’s school on a Monday that there was a movie night they were having that week. Figured that I had plenty of time for it so I didn’t bother buying a ticket until Thursday but, by then, everything was already sold out.

Had to scramble and write several parents to see if anyone had a spare tix. After a few hours of trying, managed to snag one from my friend Debbie – told myself that the NEXT time the kid’s school was having a party, I’d buy the ticket immediately.

Well, that happened a coupla weeks ago and I totally forgot that the kid had his school party this past Friday.

Turns out, he did too.

Him: There’s a party tonight? Whose birthday is it?
Me: (laughing) It’s not a birthday party, kid. It’s your school.
Him: Really!? Yay!

I happened to already be dressed up in a suit for work, so I dropped off the kid and met up with the Firecracker at a joint I’d never been to before and not far from the kid’s school.

Told her I was in a suit so she showed up dressed to the nines as well.

Me: Whoa!
Her: You like?
Me: Heck, yeah! You look amazeballs!

We stayed there for a while, playing a game of question and answer, but soon…

Me: I’m hungry.
Her: It’s past your (eating) time (for intermittent fasting).
Me: (shrugging) I’m drinking so I’m already breaking it.

Was really in the mood for sushi so we ended up an Asian restaurant not too far from the first bar.

We got more drinks…

…and I got a plate of deep-fried shrimp.

Afterward, we went together to pick up the kid.

Me: I’m still in the mood for sushi.
Her: You want to stop by a restaurant?
Me: Nah, I’ll just pick up some from [the local supermarket].

So, I did just that and ate even more.

When it comes to parenting, that’s what I’d call a stellar night.

Stellar.

 

Location: late this afternoon, the Irish Hunger Memorial
Mood: sore
Music: How I hate to spend the evening on my own (Spotify)
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I, the doctor?

My quixotic quest for paw-paws

Been having this peculiar Baader-Meinhof moment with alla those paw-paw fruits that I got a month ago.

I’ve been noticing the tropical variants on sale everywhere – the three below I got while getting some suits tailored in Chinatown with my usual guy.

The big one in the middle is a cherimoya while the two on the side are sweetsops or sugar apples.

Gotta say, the sugar apple version was pretty amazeballs with so much sugar in them that there were actually sugar crystals in the fruit itself, which was both weird and cool.

The cherimoya was definitely good and tasted a lot like the paw paw although slightly less banana-like.

Her: I like this one better – it’s less banana-y.
Me: What are you, a Communist?

Also found some sour sops in Queens when I visited my mom – I’d never had them before and was tempted to buy them but I figured I’d blown enough scratch on my quixotic quest for paw-paws.

Speaking of my family’s home, went to see my mom for her birthday the other day but she was stuck at work, so I didn’t even get to see her.

At least last time I saw her for 20 minutes.

But the kid and I did get to spend some time with his cousins as well as my sister, which was nice.

No one could pick us up from the train station so we ended up taking the bus from Manhattan to literally two blocks from their house. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be BUT the bus itself was 30 minutes late, so that was annoying.

We did take the train home though.

I find that we spend an inordinate amount of time planning on leaving and then leaving the city.

And yet, we always come back.

Me: Would you ever wanna move, kid?
Him: No. I would miss my friends too much.
Me: You could always make new friends.
Him: I suppose.
Me: (laughing) We could always just stay here.
Him: It’s our home!
Me: Yes, yes it is.

The Firecracker cut open her head pretty badly the other night.

She was gonna go to the ER when I convinced her that I could patch her up with some Hibiclens and Crazy Glue.

She was a bit hesitant but I asked her to trust me. After all, I’ve done it to myself a dozen times or so.

But she did and I patched her up. A week later, most of the Crazy Glue had broken off and the super deep gash on her head was completely gone. Barely a scar.

Hmm, I wonder if my brother shoulda been the lawyer and I, the doctor?

Location: the kid’s room, asking why there are always pencils everywhere
Mood: super beat
Music: I see you; do you see me? (Spotify)
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Lonely Private Passages

Wanting but not needing

Her: Don’t miss me too much.
Me: I can’t promise that.
Her: Good answer.

I’ve always daydreamed about living someplace completely different, like Oregon or Washington state. But the weather in NYC’s been more like Seattle these days in that it’s been raining pretty consistently; I think there was rain on every weekend we had for three months or so.

But the weather was pretty nice the other day so the Firecracker, the kid, and I took a bike and scooter ride down the West Side Greenway to the Clinton Cove Lawn just to enjoy the weather.

The kid wanted to run around on the grass and decided to just walk up to a family playing soccer and ask if he could joint them. They laughed and said, “Sure!”

Her: I’m impressed how he can just make friends. I was never able to do that.
Me: Hopefully, it’s something he’ll always be able to do.

Afterward we ended walking past the Private Passage sculpture – neither the kid nor the Firecracker had seen it before.

Her: It’s a little home!
Me: It’s supposed to be a ship cabin. (to kid) Can you imagine using the bathroom in a little home like this?
Him: Nooooo!

Read recently that loneliness is one of the most damaging things to happen to someone because humans are such social creatures.

Think I became acclimated to my loneliness as a child and find I enjoy being by myself most days. After all, solitary trees – if they grow at all – grow strong.

But I like having just a few people, like the kid and the Firecracker, to spend time with.

If I want to be with people, though, I have that option. And I hope the kid has it as well.

The hope is that he will want to be social at times, but not need it.


On that note, the Firecracker did manage to have some time to ourselves while the kids were both away for a bit.

Me: What about happy hour near us?
Her: Sure!

Crazy, but one of my videos – the one below – just hit 20 million views.

Friend: That’s more than two New York Cities!

Crazy…

Location: a super long bus ride from Manhattan to my family’s home
Mood: tired
Music: never wanted to be famous, I only do it for me (Spotify)
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A Birthday and Halloween Party

Plus, another ferry ride

We went out to Brooklyn again the other day – it was raining cats and dogs. We were there for the Surgeon’s kids’ birthday party.

They had it at the Ferox Ninja Park in Brooklyn and it was HUGE.

I was in a pretty foul mood as I didn’t expect to have to walk as far as I did and do as many transfers via train as I did but I already promised the kids that we would do it, so we did.

Once we arrived, I just sat down and shoveled food into my pie hole.

Steele: (putting food in front of us) Here. Eat.
Me: We can’t be the only ones eating, man!
Her: As if that ever stopped you before.
Me: Fair.

The kids had a grand time and were a complete sweaty mess afterward.

We were only scheduled to be there for two hours but since it was so rainy and there wasn’t a party after ours, we ended up staying almost four hours before the staff – very politely – told us we were over time.

So, we all went our separate ways.

Didn’t wanna do all the walking we did to keep transferring trains so, for the second time in a month or so, we all took the ferry back to the city.

Her: It’ll take twice as long.
Me: But no walking and the kids wanna ride the ferry.
Her: OK, that works.

Soon, we found ourselves back on the ferry.

The kid and I got into a tiff because he randomly decided to hop onto my bag, spilling food everywhere.

Me: Jesus Christ, kid! Why did you do that?
Him: I dunno.
Me: I told you before, you better have a good reason for anything you do, because everything you do has consequences. (sighing)

But alls well that ended well.

We got home and both kids crashed pretty hard.

Then we went to the next-door building’s Halloween party.

The building next door has invited the kid and me every year since Alison died and I’m always grateful for their kindness.

This year, I asked the building president if I could invite the Firecracker and her kid.

Him: Of course! The more the merrier.
Me: I just don’t to take advantage.
Him: You’re not! Come on by! The kids’ll have a great time.
Me: Thank you!

We went trick-or-treating with my friends Wendy and Andrew while I chatted up the fella that I met at the other party in the park.

After all the candy and activities, we were ready for a break.

But there’s always something going on in the Big City.

Location: In my head again for a bit
Mood: worn-down
Music: Old habits don’t diе (even though you know deep down you don’t want them to) (Spotify)
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Playing Blackjack with the kids

A loss for them

It seems that summer’s finally over – it was 80 degrees last week and it dropped down to 40 something this week.

Good thing climate change isn’t real.

Her: What about Spades?
Me: I used to love that game! But it’s been decades since I’ve played; I dunno if I remember how to play.
Her: No problem, because I do!

The Firecracker and I have fallen into a pretty quiet but nice life of a guy and his kid and a girl and her kid.

We’re both pretty happy that the kids get along so well, because if they didn’t, who knows how we’d be right now.

So, the other night, when we had nuthin else going on, we taught the kids how to play Spades and Blackjack.

Boy: Isn’t gambling bad?
Me: We’re not really gambling, we’re just playing cards. And there’s nuthin wrong with playing some cards, kids.

Of course, we still do things separately.

For example, the kid went to a birthday party for a friend that he’s known since he was two. And while there, I ran into a fella I met last year at a Halloween party.

Him: What about you?
Me: Well, I’m a lawyer, among other things. But lately, I’ve been doing a YouTube thing.
Him: (laughing) Really?
Me: Yup – I actually have close to 20 million views on one of my videos.

Speaking of Halloween parties, I’ll tell you about the one we all went to in the next entry, but until then, here was some pics of my buddy Cotton as “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast and his girl as a taco.

These are good life/relationship goals.

Me: Can I put up one of these on my blog as a follow up? I mentioned you would be doing this and I think my five readers would be tickled to see pics.
Him: Yeah, of course!

Although I don’t suppose they’d be welcome in MAGA country.

Which is a loss for them, frankly…

Location: stuck at home all day
Mood: potentially sick
Music: OK, baby, you’ll be OK. You’ve just gotta keep on (Spotify)

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personal

Run-of-the-mill Calamities

Everything keeps breaking down

I was rolling with my buddy Cruise the other day when I felt this sharp pain in my left foot and looked down, horrified to see my middle toe bent 90 degrees…in the wrong direction.

Holy shit! I said.

I’d put that pain at a solid 5, if 1 was nuthin and 10 was the worse pain in my life.

Without even thinking, I reached over and yanked it back into place, which shot my pain level up to a 10 but only for a second before it dropped down to a managable 2.

So, this whole week, I’ve been hobbling around with my toes taped up.

But it’s not just me, the kid’s been dealing with his own foot pain lately.

We went to an indoor gym the other day – something I’ll tell you about later – and he spent hours running around the place.

Figure he musta gotten a blister from all the activities so we were both hobbling around for a bit.

On a larger level, things in the building have been a mess too.

Things keeps breaking around the building so I gotta find people to come in and fix them.

To make matters worse, the hot water for the whole building completely stopped for some reason.

Only after the plumbers arrived did we figure out that it was the boiler’s mixing valve – which mixes the 212-degree water with city tap water to get hot water for our building – that called it quits.

After a full day of waiting around and some five hours of work, we finally had hot water again.

The kid helped out too, since I had to be in the basement, he was the one that measured the temps for us in the bathroom.

Him: It’s 130 degrees, dad!
Me: That’s too much, lemme know when it’s less.
Him: (two minutes later) It’s 129 degrees now!
Me: (laughing) OK, that’s only marginally helpful, kid. I meant like 120 or less?
Him: Oh, you shoulda said that.
Me: Fair. That’s on me.

On a macro level, the manhole cover a few blocks south of my pad blew off completely because of some fire under Amsterdam Avenue.

Smoke and firemen were everywhere.

Now, this happened just south of the Jewish Community Center (JCC) and everyone just heard this loud but muffled BOOM.

I’m pretty certain I’m not the only person that thought the worst.

But it wasn’t terrorism, just the run-of-the-mill calamities that NYC always has.

Which, in this day and age, is probably the best we can hope for.

Location: earlier, at a Halloween party that we’ve been going to for the past four years now
Mood: not salty
Music: hold onto me, cause I’m a little unsteady (Spotify)

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personal

Both the light and the dark always come

Building roller-coasters

Just finished Pax, by Tom Holland – the book that the NFL Player gave us all for his bday party.

Man, if you thought Game of Thrones/Wheel of Time was messed up, fiction’s got nuthin on what the Romans were all about.

Life in Rome was dark, oftentimes. Very dark.

On a much cheerier side of dark, however, Halloween’s happening soon.

While I love seeing the kid dress up, it’s also a reminder that holiday season is right around the corner, which has its own darkness for me.

But I’m trying to be positive this year.

It doesn’t hurt that the Firecracker’s around and offers her own positivity around here.

Her: I made a flourless chocolate cake. Do you want some?
Me: Yes, please!
Her: You can come by and pick it up when you’re ready.

And the kid’s always doing something that brings me joy.

This past weekend, the Firecracker, her kid, me, and my kid spent a lazy Saturday sitting out in a playground for a kid’s party, drinking sodas and eating carbs.

Gotta say, I think that I engage with the world a lot just because I have to with the kid.

And sometimes, he gives me joy in the most unexpected but simple ways.

Him: Papa?
Me: Yeah, kid?
Him: I made something. Can I show it to you?
Me: I dunno, I’ve got a ton of…
Him: (disappointed) It’s ok…
Me: Wait. I’ll finish up and you can show me in five minutes. Is that ok?
Him: (happily) Yes! Oooooh, I can’t wait to show you! I built a roller-coaster!
Me: (laughing) I can’t wait to see it.

Location: Earlier tonight, a ferry from Greenpoint to Manhattan
Mood: so beat
Music: If you’re not ready yet, I’ll wait – cause when it’s good it’s great (Spotify)