Living in willful ignorance
Hospital Scheduling Woman: April or May?
We had some more bad news a month ago. Didn’t tell you about it because we needed to process it all.
They found yet another spot on her MRI. The doc told us to wait and see if it’s actually cancer or if it’s the treatments doing their thing.
For those of you keeping score, that’s four spots of cancer: Two confirmed from the original cancer, one from January, and this new one they found last month.
We had the option of another MRI this past Monday but we decided to wait until May.
There are a number of things that the people that know me in real life hear me constantly say.
Such as: That’s a distinction without a difference.
This is a both a legal term and a logical fallacy where someone points something out that has no bearing on the issue at hand.
For example, right now, everyone’s talking about the United Airlines passenger that was violently dragged off a plane.
Now some news outlets are saying he had a criminal past. But this is a distinction without a difference; it has no bearing on the fact that he was violently dragged off a plane.
Suppose that’s another post for another time.
Getting back to our situation, I’m always anxious these days. I wanna know what’s going on in Alison’s head. Literally.
Yet, knowing – at this point – is worse than not knowing.
Because we might change course when we should give all the things we’re doing time to work.
And, really, we don’t have too many options right now. Knowing if it’s more cancer won’t change the job that needs to be done. So we wait and hope.
Me: May.
Hospital Scheduling Woman: OK. (pause) Are you sure?
Me: No. But that’s a distinction without a difference. We’ll come in May.
Location: Anxiety City
Mood: anxious
Music: Every one a tragedy
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