Tag: family

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personal

So here’s what I remember

Location: 20:00 yest., eating another piece of sushi in Queens
Mood: burp
Music: I’m tearing at the seams. You on the other hand

Wedding flowers

Don’t wanna go out for my birthday but Paul insists. He, Hazel and WM take me out for some killer Indian food. Afterward, Paul and Hazel pick up a bottle of rum and we kill it on a balcony overlooking Broadway in the Village. Paul even picked up a cake.

Me: Have I thanked you enough for this?
Paul: Yeah…no prob, as long as you had a good one for a change. Everyone needs a good birthday.
Me: Well, my birthdays are usually pretty good – it’s just that the other 364 days leave much to be desired.

Stupid friends won’t even let a guy be depressed on his birthday.

Birthday with rum

Saturday, dash off to Brooklyn for something and rush home to make a wedding for a buddy I’ve not seen in years. The most beautiful woman in the room spies me walking in and takes my hand.

Her: (beaming) You came! I keep talking about you. (takes me by the hand and pulls me in front of a table of strangers) Everyone – this is my son.
Everyone (in unison): Hello!
Me: (laughing) Hi.

My world’s a small place. Alla my guy friends are comparing their ueber expensive automatic watches. Sold mine to pay for for law school stuff. Miss my Seamaster the most.

But don’t have time to be sad. Dash off to see my buddy El for her housewarming. Rain and the gang’re there including Tess (who’s in Kings, should it not get canceled) and Eve. We all go up to the roof, which is dark. But not in a cool way, more in a pitch black kinda way.

Eve: This is sorta nice.
Me: Yeah, if you’re a rapist.

Rape-y becomes the word of the night .
NYC rooftop

While there, get a call from a girl Shin I’ve not seen in 15 years telling me she’s in town. She’s a professor now. Crazy. So we meet up and soon, about eight of us are in a karaoke bar downtown where people are butchering Phil Collins.

My brother’s best friend is there with her 18 year old sister who delights in the fact that I’m, quite literally, twice her age now. She puts a note in front of me that makes me laugh. But it’s almost 3AM and Shin’s boyfriend turns out to be a drunk douche so I bounce before I can deck him.

Logan's old

Yesterday, I see Heartgirl. We go out and she has a glass of wine and listens to my stories. I like her more than anything. Even rum.

Today, have dinner with the family at an all-you-can eat buffet.

Sister: Why are you sitting like that?
Me: So I can get a better view of the sushi chef. You have to plan these things.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, they meant a lot to me. Really. Every writer likes knowing that someone, somewhere’s reading them.

YASYCTAI: Have you called your mother? (10 mins/2 pts)

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personal

Oatmeal or gruel? Vicodin or Rum?

A root canal is nowhere near as fun as you might imagine

A tribeca apartment stoop

Her: Let’s get going to see the dentist.
Me: OK, just lemme grab my keys. (sound of cloth ripping) Um, I think I just ripped my pants.
Her: (shakes head) I’m going to wait upstairs.

Had my second root canal today. If you’re contemplating getting one, reconsider. They are not nearly as fun as you might imagine. Visit three of nine.

Know what you never wanna hear your dentist say? Well, that’s unusual. That’s what y’never wanna hear your dentist say.

Assistant: Do you want more Novocaine?
Me: (muffled) God yes.

Actually been sleeping better, what with the quantity of drugs in my system. I also bought myself a mouth guard for teeth grinding at night, so that must be helping too.  But when I’m not sleeping, I’m reading Outliers. Probably his best book – and I liked the other two. Y’should read it. We’ll discuss when I’m not so cloudy.

Saw my mom for dinner.

Her: You’re coming home for dinner? (thinking) I’ll make oatmeal then.
Me: NO MORE OATMEAL!

Instead, had rice gruel and 10,000 year old egg. So. Painful. Least it wasn’t oatmeal. To add insult to injury, evidently washing down vicodin with rum is strongly discouraged. Which means I gotta choose which pain reliever I love more.

Me: …sorta felt like a hammer slamming into my tooth…
Brother: (interrupting) Y’know, using the words hammer and tooth in the same sentence results in, one would say, dubious enjoyment potential.

On the plus side, I’m gonna see me some Fleetwood Mac tonight. But first I gotta prep breakfast.

Two guesses what I’m having.

Location: 15:07 yest, getting drilled in Queens
Mood: more ouch
Music: sings a song Sounds like she’s singing oooh baby
YASYCTAI: Eat more oatmeal – (a) because why should I be only one that has to and (b) it’s good for you. Keep telling yourself that. (50 mins/1 pt)

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personal

Down from your fences

Location: 19:14 yest, 462 Amsterdam Ave
Mood: pensive
Music: ain’t gettin no younger Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin you

A metro station in Washington DC

Heartgirl: (bursts out laughing) Those old ladies back there said, There’s a sexy Asian guy!
Me: I am! (turning to her) Kidding – it’s only cause I’ve got such a lovely accessory…
Her: (beams)
Me: …my cool leather jacket.
Her: (laughs again) Yes, you’re really popular with the cougars.
Don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without a single client calling me. Man, it’s like death out there. Gotta tap into my last little bit of emergency coin but suppose this is emergency time.

Been keeping busy trying to get some some things settled, though. The thesis, paperwork, continuing education. Lotsa stuff. Personal stuff too – saw my cousins last night. We never hang out. No reason, just don’t. People think I eat a lot. These guys, these guys can pound. And they’re all normal looking.

Talked about our grandmother. They said, without trying to make me feel bad, that I should have seen her. Least said goodbye. Told them I couldn’t. They said my mom sat all by her lonesome at the funeral.

Somehow, knew that without them telling me that. Guess cause I do that too, sometimes.

Told them that I’m closer to 40 than I am to 30. And I’m still waiting for my real life to begin.

Man, how silly’s that?

YASYCTAI: See someone for dinner that you’ve been meaning to. (90 mins/2 pts)

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personal

What to do?

Location: 18:00 yest, getting my hair cut
Mood: anxious
Music: I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook

A metro station in Washington DC

Her: Sorry, I just started taking piano lessons, so I have to play these scales.
Me: (laughing) S’your house…

At the rents. Mom’s 60-something and learning to play the piano. My older brother just picked up the drums and base – he already plays the piano and guitar. We’re all geeky.

Music? Got a tin ear. But, been thinking of learning another language and/or study for the Zertifikat Deutsch exams. I should work on my Chinese but, let’s be honest: (a) my Chinese sucks and (b) it’d take a long time to learn to be literate. Think I could teach myself French in about a year and I could probably pass the German exams in about six-eight months. For some reason my tongue works well in German. Chinese and French? Not so much.

But, I’ve still gotta finish that damn thesis and also get my manuscript published. Plus I wanna wrestle again. It’s strange; sleeping better than I have in years but doing half the things.

The grass is always greener / das Gras ist immer grüner / 老婆是别人的靓; lǎo pó shì bié rén de liàng.

Yes, I had to look up the Chinese – see comment (a), supra.

Damn stupid grass.

———-

Me: I’m not cold.
Her: Use this blanket.
Me: I’m not cold!
Her: (puts blanket on me) Use it!
Me: Mom, I’m not cold, I’m 36 this year, and I’m trying to balance spreadsheets for my 2008 business tax returns – do you mind?
Her: (sniffs) Whatever! I’m going to sleep.

Me: (ten minutes later – thinking) This is an awfully nice blanket…

———-

If you roll, swing on by. I’m not good enough to compete – yet another thing I should be working on – but I’m gonna be there to help set up: http://www.nycsubshootout.com.

A metro station in Washington DC


YASYCTAI: Learn a language. Proficiency is 3,000 words. You can do that. (12 months/5 pts)

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personal

Mental Health Break

Location: 17:00 yest, finding parking on CPW
Mood: hyper
Music: blinked my eyes and you were in flight But I did not move, I just watched you fly away

Logan Lo in front of the Washington Monument

Onea the things we saw in DC was a section on bomb shelters. Submit that my parents could outlast yours in a nuclear disaster. No snub against your rents, rather a testament to the hoarding abilities of my, curiously small, forbears.

Know this cause I stayed over the other night and woke up hungry so poked around their pantry. That alone should give you an idea of what we’re talking about; who has an actual pantry these days?

Lemme tell you who – my parents.

Let’s just talk about the 100 packages of ramen there: at 536 calories each, comprised of mainly fat, white flour, and sugar, that’s 53,600 calories, or enough to keep them each alive for 22 days. That’s just the ramen. There’s also the 10 pounds of instant oatmeal, the two 50-pound bags of rice, and the two dozen boxes of spaghetti – they don’t even eat spaghetti!

They also have three, count em, three refrigerators. Three.

Some people hoard gold. Some fine art. My parents? Complex carbohydrates. God love em. Did I mention the three iceboxes?

Though y’didn’t ask, ended up cooking a frozen pepperoni pizza for four and killed it myself. Before you judge, also had an orange. Don’t tell Heartgirl as she’s ill prepared for how I eat.

In other news, after the tease of a weekend in DC, decided to blow what little coin I’ve left on a vacation in some warmer latitude. First one in over a year.

Perhaps not the most fiscally sound decision, but then again, I’m down six-figures and have a belly fulla processed cheese, so the heck with it.

Let’s call it a mental health break, yeah?

Contrail

YASYCTAI: Plan a mental health break of your own. (120 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Bonus post

Location: for eight hours on Xmas, my office
Mood: stuffed!
Music: goodness and light The child

Xmas pic of the Jekyll & Hyde Club in NYC

Well, I’m back. For some reason, Blogger just wouldn’t let me post for two days. Which, to me was an eternity.

Ate my weight in all sortsa food this holiday season – admittedly, what I do every holiday season. People are always surprised at the sheer volume of food I can pack away – even those that should be used to it by now.

Me: (holding bag of chips) Can I open this?
Her: (looking up from computer) There’s an open bag in the living room.
Me: Ate that one.
Her: Oh. Well, there’s an open bag on top of the microwave.
Me: Are that one too.
Her: I just opened that an hour ago! You ate all of it?
Me: Yes.
Her: Where do you put it all? (shaking head, sighing) Yes. You can open that.
Me: Thanks mom! (pause) BTW, we’re out of milk now.
Her: (grumbling and turning back to computer) …

Happy Xmas, everyone!

YASYCTAI: Do yesterday’s again. (10 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

The California Sun

Location: Santa Monica in my head
Mood: tired but hopeful
Music: something always comes up something always makes her stay


Me and my Mom
Her: You’re always seeing someone.
Me: No, I mean I’m seeing someone…
Her: (puts down hula hoop) Wait, what does that mean? (excitedly) Are you getting married soon? Is she nice? Does she want kids? What’s her name?
Me: (sighs) Clearly, I’ve just made a grave error in judgment.

Me and my Brother
Him: When I left NYC for LA, I had two suitcases and a guitar. Then when I left LA for Miami, had a house fulla crap, a cat, and a wife.
Me: And now that you’re moving back to LA?
Him: Well (thinking) I still have a house fulla crap and the cat (pause) But I’ve since shed the wife tho…

The cool thing about the people that you’re close to is the shorthand language you’ve got.

My brother used to sing in a bar while in med school. One song was about this singer in a bar that loved a waitress named Rachel who wanted to move to LA. The guy didn’t know what to say, so he just said, if you find me one, I’d love a picture of the California sun.

For years my bro said he’d move to LA. Always joked that if he ever did, I’d want a postcard from LA. Then one day he just up and left with two suitcases and a guitar. Spur of the moment thing. Poof.

Week or so later, got a postcard with a picture of the California sun and not much else. Didn’t need much else. I remember that I sat down on my striped sofa and cleared my throat. Then I cleared a place for it on my fridge.

Somewhere through the years, lost it. Stupid roommates.

S’ok though – lookee what I got today:

YASYCTAI: Send someone a nice picture. If y’got time, send me one too. (1 mins/0.5 pts)

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personal

Hoops

 

Saw my parents the other day and my mom was still outta sorts. So, she picked herself up a hula-hoop.

She said that she hadn’t used one in like 40 years. But she’s proud cause she can do it like 200 times. Gotta say, I was impressed.

As I write this, my mom’s singing What A Wonderful World in the other room. I smile cause she’s getting better and I shut off the TV to listen.

Read all the comments from my last post and Sarcasticserum said that I have my own little internet cheering section. That made me laugh.

It’s a fair trade: I give the you spectacle of my ridiculous life and you sit and read. A comment or two couldn’t hurt.

Still, what’s more boring than a non-womanizing, womanizer? But, hope you stick around anyway. Cause it’s always the supporting cast that really makes the show worth watching living.

Hazel: Good luck, Logan. I’m hoping that whatever you have with Heartgirl is…exactly what you want it to be. (pause) You should put away my toothbrush. You need to make room for hers.

Blue: I wish you were my person…mostly because I want to meet him already. But if you’re not my person, maybe you’re my people. It’s hard finding good people.

You can never have enough good people. And it’s worth going through all the hoops to find them.

Thanks for reading and being on my side.

Location: 19:23 yest, Riverside Park doing taiji and not picking up a blonde
Mood: grateful
Music: on the faces of people going by I see friends

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personal

Safe

A letter to my grandmother

 

Dear Grandma;

Went home last night because mom wanted to talk. She told me stories I already know but wanted to hear again, mainly because they’re so hard to believe.

Like how your mom sold you for seven dollars when you were three because she had no money. And that when you heard your mom died three years later, you ran away to change her clothes because you didn’t want her to be dressed in rags when they buried her.

I think when I was six, all I wanted in life was more food. I’m 35 now and I still think of food way too much. Well, you remember how fat I was…

Mom cried again when she got to the part where you came back and they beat you. She said you didn’t deserve such a hard life. No one does.

But you were tough. Mom’s tough like you. She thinks I get my temper from you, which, by the way, I’m working on. I told her it was probably more from my lack of sleep. Speaking of sleep, I thought of a line that goes: We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. But I digress…

I do think that I got my eyes from you. Oh, and Aki and I have this weird talent I think we get from you too; mom says that if you ever saw anyone knit something, you could recreate it. well, Aki can play any song he hears on the piano and I can do something similar with a sword – which is admittedly pretty useless but is good cocktail conversation.

Been meaning to say I’m sorry – again. That I broke my promise to you. It keeps me up at night, the regret. It eats me. As does the fact I couldn’t go to say goodbye. Yours was the only promise I’ve broken in years, I think. I had a really good reason – I’ll tell you about it some time.

Mom says that your funeral was packed – even your real father’s entire family came. Because you loved them even though there was no reason for you to. I meet a lot of wealthy people here in the big city but they’re all labels and show. I know it’s wrong, but I feel it’s somehow cosmic justice that you ended up more successful than all of them.

You know, mom made the right choice coming here, she really did. The best thing about this corner of the world is that no one ever asks what we come from, only where we’re going. But I don’t forget what I came from. Who I came from. In fact, I don’t forget anything.

I guess the main thing is that I wanted you to know that your oldest daughter’s safe. You can rest because mom’s safe. We’re all safe.

Really.

You would have been 87 today. I pray that you get the grace and mercy in the next life that you didn’t get in this one. Happy birthday.

L

Location: home
Mood: indescribable
Music: All your grief At last, at last behind you

Categories
personal

The dark clouds are looming

Met up with old friends at Cafe DeVille the other night.

Him: So I’ve been asking girls how much it would take for them to pose nude for some tasteful photographs. Seems the going rate’s about $25,000.
Me: $25,000? I’d drop trou $5,000.
Him: Please – you’d do it for this drink here.
Me: (standing up and unbuckling)
Everyone: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Logan!!

Bryson and I spoke the other day. Should note that his wife’s beautiful and the chief resident of a local hospital.

Him: Whatcha you doing calling my wife!?
Me: Crap, you caught us!
Him: (laughing) How’re you?
Me: (pause) I’ve been better.
Him: (later) You’re luckier than most people: You’re living the single man’s dream. You live in Manhattan. And very few people go through life with even a handful of true friends. You’re blessed, brother.

I know it. God gave me everything. Just working through some things.

My mom called me. She said that the funeral hall couldn’t fit all the people that showed up for the funeral. Turns out that grandma died of an enlarged heart. Find that strangely fitting. Shut the door to my office and quietly broke down.

Saw Heartgirl for dinner in Jersey by the pier cause she’s leaving. Was beautiful out but we could see lightning over the city in the distance. Even though she doesn’t speak German, I told her, Die dunklen Wolken sind bedrohlich.

I’m le tired…

Location: 2:00, tossing and turning in bed
Mood: le tired
Music: When will I know that I really can’t go