Tag: friends

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Way less sad

Taking it every day I can

KG Betty: I just moved a few weeks ago; once I’m settled in it’ll all start sinking in. How about you? Still super happy? I hope everything is good with you!
Me: I wouldn’t say I’m super happy but you just reminded me of a song I’ve been listening to called “Way Less Sad.” It’s got a line goes, “I’m not happy yet, but I’m way less sad.”

Been chatting with KG Betty again.

She reached out to me a few times while Alison was sick but I couldn’t pull myself together enough to chat with her.

Or anyone, really.

Afterward, I was even more of a mess.

But, she always kept in touch, something I really appreciated. And she’s been dealing with her own stuff these days so I reached out to her.

Like I always said, old friends are such a valuable thing to have in your life.

I’m grateful for the ones that have stuck around.

Speaking of friends, my buddy Katrina was in my area the other day.

Her boyfriend was part of a bartending contest at our fave rum joint, Tiki Chick, to raise money for EPIC: Empowering Pacific Islander Communities.

Wanted to go – both to see them and because it’s my regular rum joint – but I was dealing with more tech issues, which I’ll tell you about one of these days.

Me: Sorry, was a crazy busy day with my network going down. Very annoying.
Her: That sucks. But it’s okay – you’re a busy guy

It’s a shame that I couldn’t make it but I figure they’ll do something like this again in the future and I can make it next time.

Until then, back to fixing this @#$@#$! network…

What I told KG Betty and my buddy Owen is true and I think that pretty much sums up my entire mindset these days.

I think that once someone deals with a double-whammy loss like I did, happy is something that seems very quaint and far away.

Way less sad is a win in my book and I’ll take it every day I can.

Obviously, the Firecracker has a lot to do with this, so I’m grateful for her as well.

Location: The New Cottage with my two tiny roommates
Mood: tech-y
Music: you’re so insane – shut up and just enjoy this feelin’ (Spotify)
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On the same page

Turning paper cuts into hemorrhages

Buckley was my roomie for decades – we lived on the same floor in college, then after school, he crashed at my parents for a while, and then we moved into my current place in 1997.

He stayed until at least 2007.

That’s him up above with Bryson. We were like in our late 20s in that pic.

Anywho, I met him because we were both interested in computers and he was FAR more skilled at me at them.

So, I was constantly asking him to help me, which – being the good soul he was – he always did.

That is, until, I hit him up one time too many.

Him: Dude, I’ve got homework and exams. I can’t do it.
Me: But I think I have a virus!
Him: Can’t, man. I’m really sorry.

Legit, I had one of the first viruses known to man – a variant of the Stoned virus.

So, not knowing what else to do, I wiped out my harddrive and reinstalled everything from scratch.

The next time I saw Buckley, proudly told him what I did and he looked at me like I was the stupidest person he’d ever met.

Him: You did what?!
Me: I wiped and reinstalled everything.
Him: (smacking his head) Logan…the worst thing that virus coulda done is wipe out your drive, forcing you to reinstall everything. You literally did its work for him.

33 years later, it’s one of my absolute clearest memories from Cornell – and one of my most salient life lessons.

One that I didn’t really fully appreciate until after the Reporter and I broke up.

See, I was convinced she was cheating on me, and I accused her of doing it.

Here’s the thing, though, I just thought she was cheating on me (she may well have been, I was just super suspicious) but, because I was already accusing her of doing so, she went ahead and did it.

After all, if you’re gonna do the time, you might as well do the crime, right?

The common thread between those two stories is that, you can easily make a bad situation much, much worse by overreacting.

I’m telling you this story because I just found out that someone I casually know – neither Buckley nor Bryson  – absolutely demolished a solid relationship by taking a tiny little thing and bringing it to Defcon 1.

Like, seriously – cops were almost involved and things were thrown.

It’d be laughable if it weren’t all so sad because, he spent a large part of the relationship terrified that she would leave him, and looked at every disagreement as World War 2.

But, if every disagreement is World War 2, why would any sane person stick around for the next battle?

And guess what?

He’s always been convinced that every single disagreement is a potential relationship ender and has finally managed to convince her as well.

At the very least, they’re both finally on the same page.

Years ago, I told you that life is a series of heartaches or papercuts, you get to decide which.

But a coda I’d add to that is to not turn a papercut into a hemorrhage.

Here’s hoping he’ll learn the lesson I learned back in 1992, and again in 2006.

Location: Not a bartender contest at Tiki Chick
Mood: nostalgic
Music: Long nights and dumb fights (Spotify)
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Love you, buddy

Another School Year

Firecracker: Love you, buddy.
Me: Did you just say, “Love you, buddy,” to me?
Her: (laughing) I was just talking to my son, but I do, anyway!

The Firecracker’s son has been away for a bit as well and he’s scheduled to come back this week – the Firecracker is just as excited to see him as I was to see my son last week.

But all this also means that school is starting soon and that means the kid is another year older.

Told you once, years ago, that my year always starts in September. That waned a bit but, now that I have my own kid, that feeling is exactly the same – and as strong as it ever was.

On that note, Angel and her son came by for dinner with us the other night.

Her: Thanks so much for inviting us.
Me: No problem. Plus, I get it – just spending a week in Vienna, I Was longing for a home-cooked meal. I can’t imagine traveling for months and eating out every night.

Forgot to take pics but we had a fun time eating and catching up.

Just a pic from Din Tai Fung.

Her son’s off to a boarding school in Europe and she’s moving to London to be (somewhat) near to him.

Should mention that it was her son’s choice to head to Europe; if my kid wanted to move abroad, I’m not sure I’d let him just because I think I’d miss him too much.

Then again, it’s not fair for me to have lived my life and also try to live his life.

As the kid gets older, suppose we’ll have more things to wrestle with.

Until then, I’m just glad he’s around and such a bright bit of my otherwise drab life.

Him: Can I eat in my room to watch something?
Me: You don’t wanna eat with me?
Him: I ate with you for brekkie!
Me: (sigh) Yeah, I guess so…

Location: home but dreaming of Belize
Mood: ambitious
Music: That’s just how I deal with crisis (Spotify)
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If you sit here long enough, everyone walks by

The Firecracker and the Asians

Alex: There’s a spot in the middle of Central Park, the Bethesda Fountain. If you sit there long enough, the entire city walks by.
Isabel: Hmm. And I know of this one canyon, that if you sit there long enough, nobody finds you and you die.

This pic is over 20 years old (I age very slowly); that’s Bethesda Fountain behind me. It’s from this entry.

Matthew Perry was in this rom-com that I absolutely loved when I was a kid called Fools Rush In, with Salma Hayek.

In it, their two characters were comparing the beauty of nature in Nevada, versus the excitement of New York.

I think a lot about maybe getting some place away from NYC, but I honestly can’t imagine living anywhere else but here.

Anywho, I gotta agree with the character of Alex – there’s something about NYC where the entire world really does seem to stop by for a visit.

In the past month alone, we had two doctors from Pittsburg, my relatives from Indiana, and friends from Spain stop by.

This past week, my friend Angel came to town with her son.

She wanted to go to Japanfes, which just happened to be in my neck of the woods this time around so off we met.

She brought her son, who was a Scenic Fights fan, which is always a plus.

Angel: He decided to study German. No idea why.
Me: Oh, I get it. If he can speak English, Chinese, and German, he’s speaking the languages of the Top 1, 2, and 3 world economies, in that order. He can literally work in 95% of the planet with those three languages.
Her: (smiling) Well, ok then!

The kid used the chance to get himself a bubble tea while the Firecracker got herself a salmon sushi taco.

Her: I think if I wrote an autobiography, I’d call this time “[The Firecracker] and the Asians.

Afterward, we went to my fave bistro around the way and got some more food and drink.

It was good seeing Angel – It’s been at least 20 years since I saw her last but she looked pretty much as I remembered her.

After a spell, we went back home, where we convinced Angel and her son to play Big Two.

The Firecracker is an addict.

But she came in second after Angel’s son.

She’s supposed to come back again before she leaves for dinner as she and her kid have been traveling the world and miss having a home cooked meal.

I’ll tell you about that next time.

Location: booking a hotel for a far-off place
Mood: content(ish)
Music: like a narc I knew I had to leave my mark (Spotify)
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What is home if not the people that call it that?

Never having a home

Speaking of home, movies like the Warriors – which is based on a true story that happened almost 3,000 years ago – can be countlessly retold because the themes of longing, home, and survival are universal.

Hold that thought.

While I enjoy the modern takes on the Incredible Hulk – particularly the 2008 Ed Norton reboot – for someone that grew up with the 1978 television series, The Incredible Hulk, it’s very different.

Not just in terms of technology, production values, and the like, but the thrust of the show itself.

Essentially, the modern movies make stories about a god-like/monster-like hero, the television show was mainly about the other part of the Hulk, Dr. Banner.

There, Banner is shown as a drifter, and I thought that the show was the story of a man with a mindless monster inside of him.

As I got older, I got wiser and thought it was the story of a man searching for a home with a monster inside of him.

But this was wrong also, I realized.

It was the story of man that can never have a home, ever. He must always be on the run and can never relax or settle down.

Not my copyright, obvs.

Because the moment he finds someone to create a home with, that person will forever be in danger of the monster inside him.

So, he can’t have any relationships – no friends, no lovers, no children, no one.

Which is why the ending scene was always of Banner walking alone, to nowhere, with nothing but the clothes on his back and a duffle bag.

Banner can never go home because he can never have a home. He will never have a home.

So, there’s no home to find.

Because what is home if not the people that call it that along with you?

And he has no one to call it that with him.

It’s such a tragic story and can probably explain how a primetime television series about a big, green, comic book character in the 70s lasted five years.

In any case, just a random thought.

Think I’m finally starting to understand the world a bit.

Which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Oh, by the way, my son’s home.

Him: I’m home!
Me: (laughing) Yes you are!

Location: NJ, getting my treasure
Mood: steamy
Music: There’s a monster in me who shut down (Spotify)
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Cocktails at Omega

A Second Invitation

I’d taken over my old instructor’s class for a number of years when his work schedule changed but then everything went to hell with Alison, so he returned, and I went back to just being one of his students.

But I still have a handful of people that I tutor – I’m not their main instructor but I give them tips and tricks to improve their kali.

One such person is a Radiologist from Pittsburgh (which happens to be exactly where the Professor lives).

In any case, the Radiologist dropped me a line the other day.

Him: Hey! I remember us talking a while back about nice watches. My sister works for a luxury brand, and they are hosting some fun swanky event. Would you have any interest in taking your fiancée to something like that?
Me: 100%! Where and when?

So, before we knew it, we were downtown at Brookfield Place at the Omega Store there.

Turns out that the Radiologist got the time a bit off, so we walked around for 30 minutes beforehand, checking the place out.

And then, afterward, we went to the Omega store and met up with the Radiologist’s sister, who was just a sweetheart and got along with the Firecracker, swimmingly.

Her: Do you want to try on the pink one?
Firecracker: Sure, thanks!

She was also kind enough to have someone bring us some champagne…

Me: This reminds me of when we were in Pasadena.
Firecracker: Oh right, at Tiffany’s. We should check out wedding bands.

…as well as some hors d’oeuvres.

We spent most of the time chatting with his sister but also with the person in charge of alla the Omega stores in North America – turns out, he’s proficient in ranged weapons while I focus mainly on melee weapons.

Later on that week, the Radiologist was in town and we brought him to the same bistro I brought the professor for some drinks because he was fully scheduled.

Me: (to waitress) I bring all the Pittsburgh doctors I know here.
Her: (laughs) OK!

Afterwards, the Firecracker and I chatted.

Her: It’s nice that you always get invited to the rando things.
Me: Like I said, the whole point of being invited someplace is to get a second invitation.

Location: all over midtown with a hot blonde and a dog
Mood: less ache-y
Music: The city won’t change us, we beat to the same drum (Spotify)
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Nope, still weird

The boy came back (for a bit)

My son came back home the other day, along with his cousins from Alison’s side.

It was just a short visit, but I was so happy to see him.

It’s so strange not having him around here as he’s been my most constant companion all these past few years.

So, I brought everyone to the local Japanese BBQ joint a few blocks south of me.

I probably shouldn’t have ordered the beer tower, but I did.

Aunt-E: Logan, you don’t WANT the driver of your child to drink all that beer.
Me: Ok, that’s fair.

Afterwards, we all headed back to our place, where the kid showed his cousin his room and his stuff for the first time, I think, ever.

It was a lotta fun but then he left, and I missed him the moment he walked out the door.

Me: Hey, I don’t get a hug!?
Him: Sorry, dad!

Don’t think I’ll ever not miss that kid.

Not soon after that, the Professor swung by with his whole family.

Don’t think I’ve seen his wife since we met during their wedding, which happened waaaaaaaaaay before this blog, back in 2005.

This is one of the only pics I have of that day – I was 32 in that picture, and I feel I look like a kid.

My bowties are always crooked, for some reason.

Anywho, I brought them to that bistro above a supermarket that I’ve been going to since at least 14 years ago.

I like it because it’s a hidden gem; only locals go there, it’s never crowded, the food is super fresh – it’s above a supermarket, after all – and it’s huge.

Plus, it’s the only place I know of in the city that’s truly casual but nice and clean AND people aren’t on top of you.

It also worked out because the Professor, his kids, his wife, and we, all had very different tastes and there was something for everyone.

As a bonus, the Firecracker got to meet one of my oldest friends.

Him: Logan is the single weirdest guy I know.
Me: Rude.
Firecracker: Oh, well he’s grown a lot since then.
Him: Nope. Still weird.

Still a bonus…

Location: earlier today, my old gym, getting chainsawed
Mood: hot and gross
Music: It all means nothing without friends and family (Spotify)
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Putting it off

Three sammies and Pyrat rum

Dropped off the kid with my in-laws the other day.

We have all of these traditions now that I love and am so grateful for, like his going to Alison’s family for a few weeks every summer.

But it doesn’t make me miss him any less.

Me: He cooked for the first time the other day.
MIL: What do you mean, the first time? He’s been cooking eggs here for a while now. You said he was cooking them at home!
Me: He was only mixing and seasoning them – I wanted to ease him into it.
Her: (laughing) Oh, he’s been cooking here for a while.

Dammit!

Having said that, I use the time I’ve got to do all the things I need to do but have been putting off because I’m either too busy with the kid or it’s unsafe to do around him.

To this end, I asked the Firecracker to help me out over the weekend and – like the amazing partner she is – she readily agreed.

But, on the day we were supposed to begin, we put it off for another day because the weather was so nice.

See, it’s been ridic hot around here, even before summer officially began.

This is what the heat wave did to my plants.

Was super bummed because they were all (finally) doing so well and then the heat just cooked them.

So, to take my mind offa all that – and to enjoy the much cooler sunny day – we met up with the Firecracker’s sister and BIL at a bar.

We stayed for a spell and then, because we were close to Tiki Chick and I can never resist their chix sammies, I picked up a buncha them for us and then headed back to theirs.

Her: You bought three sandwiches for yourself?
Me: Evidently.

Afterwards, we showed them how to play 鋤大弟/Big Two. and then promptly lost to her BIL.

Dammit!

But it was a fun night.

And they had Pyrat rum on the rocks for me, which is always good.

Him: What are you two gonna do tonight?
Me: Probably binge Andor.
Him: Oh, it is good. We just haven’t gotten around to finishing it.

If you’ve not seen it, it’s excellent.

Rain told me that he felt it was one of the best written shows, period – with or without the Star Wars part.

Worth a watch, but that’s neither here nor there.

Location: my desk, with just under gigabit speeds on my computers
Mood: super bummed
Music: It’s not like everybody knows but you (Spotify)
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The kid cooked for the first time

Challenge accepted

Me: (tapping her shoulder) Hey, if you’re going to the market tomorrow, could you pick up some edamame?
Her: (irritated) Did you just wake me up to tell me to buy edamame?
Me: I thought you were awake!
Her: (goes back to sleep) Your food obsession can be…problematic.

While we were at the Surgeon’s the other night, Steel mentioned that his son – who’s a year younger than my own kid – has been cooking since he was old enough to stand.

He didn’t make these eggs, I did. But I’m starting him easy with scrambled eggs first.

See, Steel may be one of the only people that think about food just as much, if not more (!) than I do, the only other person I can think of being Bryson.

In any case, I’d been having my son beat eggs for the past several months so, the other, I upped the ante and had him make scrambled eggs for himself for the first time.

Him: I don’t think it looks that good.
Me: Are you kidding? For your first attempt, it looks great!
Him Really?! (after trying it) It tastes pretty good.
Me: And, at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing.

Unfortunately, then we had a heat wave come in.

Which meant that it was waaay too hot for him to safely cook.

It’s been disappointing for a number of reasons, not just that.

For example, I had planted some flowers outside my apartment and – after weeks/months of waiting – I had some blooms!

Was super excited.

But then the heat wave killed ALL my plants.

I’ll take some pics next time, I’m too annoyed ATM to do it now.

At least it’s a good excuse to drink ice cold beer.

Location: a train at Newark Penn Station, missing the kid
Mood: yearning
Music: I want it for infinity – let’s go, and never stop (Spotify)
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Four more events

Overscheduled

I may have overscheduled the last weekend of the school year.

For Friday, was supposed to meet up with some of the other fathers for drinks but ended up just having the kid’s good friend and his parents come by for some wine and the card game 鋤大弟 – which is also called Big Two.

The game was a hit with the other parents, and we ended up playing 18 rounds, I think (!!).

Kid: Can [my friend] stay over for a sleepover?
Friend: Please?!
Me: It’s not really up to just me, but sure.

The other parents relented so my kid, the Firecracker’s kid, and the friend had a sleepover, which I think is pretty darn cute.

The next day, my sister stopped by briefly with her two kids – it was nice catching up, however briefly.

Then, later on that night, we went to the Surgeon’s pad along with Steel and his family.

No mezcal – thank goodness – but we had some absolutely killer drinks.

For example, here’s a sour raspberry beer that was pretty great.

I made some dumplings as well, plus the kids had pizza.

The thing about old friends is that there are literally decades worth of stuff to chat about.

Me: What I remember most about your wedding was the table of lobsters.
Him: I remember you and Alison driving by in a pedicab while we were taking pictures.
Me: The thing about Steel is that he knows me so well that he took time outta his own wedding to warn me that the lobsters were just the appetizers. That’s a real friend there.

Then, the very next day, we all went to see my SIL in Hoboken…

…for some swimming.

Afterwards, we’d been eating pretty poorly all week because of alla the school events so I insisted that we all had salads, which went over pretty well.

We also got to play Codenames with the kiddos, which was actually quite fun.

There’s actually a lot more that happened but this entry’s getting long so I’ll just wrap it all up here.

If you’re at all interested in learning how to play 鋤大弟/Big Two, watch this video, above.

Location: my apartment, trying not to melt, on the hottest day in six year
Mood: melting nonetheless
Music: I’m tired from the things I haven’t done, saving up just to retire (Spotify)
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