You’re kidding me / PB&J

My Ex stopped by and peeked into my fridge

A bachelor's refridgerator

Got a gig to go to fancy dinners and chat with rich people.

Him: You really don’t know? They want you because of how you look.
Me: (surprised) You’re kidding me. What about my resume?
Him: (shrugging) Didn’t even look at it. You’re meeting Ed Koch on Wednesday. Free up your nights, wear a suit and don’t bring a date. Oh…don’t get fat.

After a breakup, I tend to get hit on more. Even Gio noticed people looking at me tonight. I think it’s the lack of sleep, plus, I don’t eat much when I’m single. It’s nice but my hands are shaking again.

I’m usually the icebreaker of my friends. Some of them (not Gio) “love” the women I’m with but the moment I’m single, they tell me things like, “Oh, I never liked her,” to get me back in the scene.

Ugh. I hate that. I hate gossip folk.

My exes weren’t perfect but I was with them for a reason.

Speaking of which, The Ex stopped by unexpectedly on Sunday night to pick up some of her things.

For some reason, she looked in the fridge. All it had was protein shakes, rum and PB&J. She laughed when she opened up the freezer and saw the Mac & Cheese and all the veggie burgers.

Wish I could tell you something terribly interesting happened when she was here. She looked amazing. But I’d be lying.

You know, I could survive on protein shakes, rum and PB&J.

Maybe even just the rum.

Location: @8PM, my favorite dive bar w/Gio
Mood: irritated
Music: Then I’ll just be waiting here right here

6 thoughts on “You’re kidding me / PB&J”

  1. It seriously sucks that you can't sleep, and I can't sleep and you've got a fridge full of booze…but we don't live in the same country. It's probably just as well though, because I've a feeling that if we were hanging out, as soon as you left the room (say, to go to the bathroom) I would go to the fridge to fill my mouth with your peanut butter, by scooping a big gob of it out of the jar – with my finger. And that would just be rude. Looking forward to seeing the show, btw.

  2. I live in NYC, which means that you'll be here some day.When that day comes, drop me a line and let's meet up, have some rum, PB and and laughs.I'll wait for you.I've no one else to wait for.

  3. Golly, I KNEW there was a reason I finally got round to filling out the forms for a passport…Please, exercise patience. You'll not be sorry. Promise.

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