Her: (annoyed) Please, you’ve kissed half of New York.
Me: The female half!
Me: (thinking) That probably wasn’t the right thing to say.
A fella I know opines that only the Irish should wear green on St. Patty’s day or wish another person a Happy St. Patty’s day. That’s just ridiculous.
That’s like saying no one should wish me a Happy Birthday on my birthday cause it’s my birthday not theirs.
Y’don’t say Happy _____ to make yourself feel good, y’say it for the listener.
Like if y’wish me a Happy Chinese New Year, I’d take it, regardlessa your race, creed or colour. Likewise, if I wish you a Happy Chinese New Year and you’re not Chinese, I’m ok with that and hope y’d be too.
Plus there’s green beer for one and red envelopes for the other. Both good things.
Next Chinese New Year, drinking green beer.
Or green rum. Or just regular rum.
Probably just regular rum.
Y’ever watch CSI or Dexter where they shine that light all over the place to show if there’s blood splatter to indicate a crime occurred?
My pad’d glow like a teenage rave party. There was:
- the time I sliced open my foot two hours before a vacation on a piece of glass (emergency room).
- the time I fell down my stairs and smashed my face in, almost bleeding out (emergency room).
- the time I sliced my hand in the kitchen (emergency room).
- the time(s) I performed surgery on myself in the bathroom. (almost emergency room).
- the time I killed the mouse in my other bathroom.
- all of times I get knocked around wrestling or fencing.
Should never live without a roommate.
On another point entirely, my insurance rate just went up. They must be reading this blog. I better buy an inexpensive burial insurance before it’s too expensive for me to even afford my own death.
Well, at least someone’s reading.
Location: yest, 7PM, looking for gauze on Broadway
Music: you cut me open and I keep bleeding