We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are

We reveal a lot more of ourselves than we realize

Got injured in my ribs about two weeks ago so I’ve not been wrassln for a bit. Went back for the first time on Monday and it seemed fine. When class is over, we all stand in line to be dismissed.

While standing there, I realized I couldn’t breathe right as I couldn’t get my diaphragm to move. Things started to get get wonky and the next thing I knew I was on the floor.

Ended up being fine but the funny thing is that as it was happening, the first thing I thought was, “If you end up in the hospital again, the wife is totally not gonna let you wrassle or fence any more. Don’t hit your head going down!”

Being married really changes how you look at the world.

———-

Regarding my post from last week about mixed-race couples, someone I only kinda know on FB contacted me. We ended up chatting about China in general:

Him: Have you even been to China before?
Me: Actually yes, several times, in fact.
Him: As a tourist I bet.
Me: Nope, I was there on business.
Him: I bet you just saw all the tourist sites and had pictures of yourself eating dumplings.
Me: Neither, I didn’t have time to see anything, I was pressed for deadlines the entire time. And I don’t think I had any dumplings while I was there; in fact, I don’t even think I have pictures. And why pick on dumplings? What they’d ever do to you?

He finally ended up saying that, because I had a Caucasian wife and that must mean I don’t find Asian women attractive.

Him: It points to a lot of self-hatred.
Me: That’s a pretty big leap. OK, do you think Brad Pitt’s a good looking guy?
Him: (pause) I guess so.
Me: I do too. But if he asked you out right now, what would you say?
Him: I’m not gay .
Me: Nor am I. But, what you’re saying is that you find him attractive, just not in that way. You have preferences.
Him: It’s not the same thing!
Me: Why? Are you saying one’s natural and one’s unnatural? We all like what we like. Attraction is not a choice.

That’s when I realized it was all a waste of my time.

This woman named Anais Nin once said that, We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Her: He thinks you hate being Chinese? You love being Chinese!
Me: I know! We’re lovely and have the best dumplings.
Her: Well, those are just Chinese ravioli.

Location: not the gym
Mood: hungry
Music: sailed to Hong Kong harbour, the winds were warmer then
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12 thoughts on “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”

  1. To be absolutely honest, as one of those ppl who started reading your blogs after 2008, I always thought you were often if not only attracted to Caucasian women based on all your past dating blogs. Do I think it’s wrong? Did I ever thought you had a lot of self-hatred? Nopes and nopes. I just thought “hey, whatever floats your boat.” If that’s what you’re into, then that’s what you’re into. I’ll still read.

    Anyways, your blogs are just blogs. I don’t understand why people would dig so deep into it to conclude that you must be a self-hating man. My rational side says more evidence is needed and from what I’ve read, there is none.

    1. I was pretty equal opportunity for a while but I think as you age, your tastes change. Towards the end, as you know, I pretty much exclusively dated women with coloured eyes. Just a thing I find attractive.

      And you’re right, people like what they like; there’s really no explaining it.

  2. Do you accept friend requests on FB from people who you don’t know in real life?

    And I agree that people project their opinions on others…I am trying to be more aware of it. I read somewhere when you’re married, because you think you share the same opinions as your partner, you end up talking less and making more assumptions?

  3. I actually asked people that used to read me on LJ to FB me so sure!

    That’s an interesting observation about people’s partners; I think over time, you end up being even more alike or much less – to the point you divorce. The latter I know (sadly) because I have so many friends that got divorced and they all seem to say the same thing, which is that they grew apart.

    1. Oh that makes sense then!
      And I think the assumptions leading to no talking could lead to the drift apart?
      It’s all supposition, since I got zero background in psych or sociology. LoL

  4. I sense douchebag in some of his comments.

    “I bet you just saw all the tourist sites and had pictures of yourself eating dumplings.”
    And so what if you did? It’s called vacationing, having fun, relaxing, whatever. (shrug) Can a man eat dumplings?!

    The logic of self-hating due to not getting with your own kind would make me go mad. I am mixed with all kinds of culture. Spanish, Italian (Hispanic), aboriginal, Polish Jew, and Irish. It doesn’t matter which way I lead to when it comes to dating, by that definition, I am still self hating. xD Doesn’t make any sense to me.Now my family tree has Jamaican roots. Love is love.

    1. Your douchbag sense is spot on – I barely knew/know the guy and he got into that straightaway.

      The funny thing is, I thought about all of those really rabid anti-gay politicians such as George Rekers here in the US, who ended up admitting they are closeted gay. I think it’s something to do with overcompensation.

      I like your sentiment; you reflect what the world is becoming, which is a good thing, IMHO.

      On a different point, I read your “Girl Behind the Blog” entry and enjoyed it! I wanted to leave a comment but couldn’t but I still wanted you to know.

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