You wouldn’t believe me…

…if I told you how little sleep I’ve had

This latest bout of insomnia actually started a few days before the breakup. The breakup and the manner in which it happened didn’t help, though.

It’s one of the worst ones I’ve had in ages; not including when just I stopped sleeping when Alison was first diagnosed.

Cable: You start hallucinating yet?
Me: Yup. I assume you’ve been awake this long before too if you know about it. Saw a ghost on all fours walk up my wall.

I slept zero hours in the past 48. It might also be that I’ve not gone to the gym, but then again, I’m in no shape to go to the gym.

And none of my normal meds, plus some recently added stuff from a friend, seem to be helping.

TheĀ  boy’s away, in case you’re concerned. Which is good, cause I just found my watch in the fridge.

Her: Are you ok?
Me: I haven’t been ok since November 8th, 2015.

I’m considering checking into a hotel. The pad’s empty save for memories I don’t wanna remember.

On a different note, I look great. I think I’ve lost four pounds. But I don’t advise it as a dieting scheme.

Me: (to self) Well, this isn’t good. (turning) Boy!
Son: (runs in) Yes, papa?
Me: You’ll be having water and peanut butter for a while. Papa will just be having water.
He: (laughs) OK, papa.

Well, while my personal life is in the tanker, at least my finances are also plummeting as well, so there’s that.

Honestly, though, I’d give my life savings right now for some sleep.

Location: with ghosts and demons, evidently
Mood: exhausted
Music: All I know is that you drove us off the road
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One Reply to “You wouldn’t believe me…”

  1. I see your insomnia is back too. :\ I have been watching k-dramas, melatonin and an overly complicated night time routine thing to catch a few z’s. Not sure if it’ll work for you, but I find that watching the dramas while reading subtitles + my eyes quickly moving up and down to look at the faces + the sheer emotional mad-cap-ness helps me feel exhausted. But funny enough, there was a guy who looked like Alex J on one, and then that night I dreamt we all met up in NY for korean food. Go figure.
    life has been fairly…middling limbo-ish if I had to pick a state. Not bad, not great but I’m also not making any huge changes right now either.
    (and I’m not logging on to Fb these days, but I have messenger for my mom. lol)

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