Month: July 2007

Categories
personal

Do I look like a people person?

I’m wearing a shirt that says, Do I Look Like a F___ People Person?

Made it home yesterday. Met two women on their way home too but home for them was Boston. Such is my luck.

It was dismal outside. Was gonna stay in when my flatmate reminded me that the reason I rushed home was to enjoy the Fourth. So I met up with my friend L. As you would expect, I totally missed the whole East Side Fireworks display but she and I did go out with some friends to eat.

Afterwards, I walked her home and got drenched. Totally soaked. So I took a shower at her place, borrowed this dead-sexy shirt, and crawled onto her sofa to crash. Her roommate Locationgirl was there and asked me over and over “Why are you here?” Didn’t understand the question until after they went to bed.

She meant, What are you doing here with L?

Ah…

So I lay there for a bit and the ticking of the fan and the thunder kept me up. After about two hours of that, the rain finally stopped and I gave up trying to sleep. I left L a note, quietly left, took a cab back up to my pad and am about to crawl off and lie awake in my own bed.

In this snazzy shirt no less.

Location: home again
Mood: exhausted
Music: I woke up to the sound of pouring rain

Categories
business personal

Happy Fourth!

 

If I’m lucky, I’ll be heading home today. If not, I’ll be spending the Fourth here. Hope not.

Managed to get a solid seven hours of sleep last night but when you’re running the kind of national debt-like sleep deficit like me, that’s only so good. But I’ll take what I can get.

So I’m driving on the road today when fawn leaps out in front of me. Luckily there wasn’t anyone behind me because I slammed on the brakes. Full-on.

I know you’re not supposed to do that, but I just couldn’t hit Bambi.

The fawn high-tails into the woods and the mom comes out to look at me.

And I look at her.

Then I started laughing because she just stares at me with this, Dude, you could have killed someone, look.

Managed to get one pic before she disappeared.

There’s something you don’t see much of in the big city, yeah?

Happy Fourth of July everyone.

Location: Still away, another hotel
Mood: exhausted
Music: Ain’t that america we’re someting to see baby

Categories
personal

Always Dreaming

I dream a lot, but I’m not a very good sleeper

 

But I don’t want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can’t help that, said the Cat, we’re all mad here. I’m mad, you’re mad.
How do you know I’m mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.

Sometimes I have nice dreams.

Unfortunately, it’s rare because of my insomnia – and when I’m awake, I feel like I’m sleepwalking. But I daydream a lot.

And sometimes, my daydreams are just as real and just as nice when I’m up as when I sleep. I spend a lot of time in my head, you see.

An ex once told me that when she and I lived in the same neighborhood, she used to walk to my building, sit on my stoop, and whisper, Come out, come out…let’s have some fun.

The times I did randomly come out, she thought she had magic.

In my head, she doesn’t hate me, and I don’t hate myself, for how I treated her.

And, in my head, my other ex is wrong and my insides do match my outsides.

But you can never change what another person does or thinks. Only yourself. I know that.

Still, being ambulatory for 18 hours a day means that I spend a lot of time there. In my head, I mean.

I know, I know – what if I get stuck there? I suppose large polite men in clean white coats will take me away. Funny, sometimes I think I’m just one more sleepless night away from that. I’ve been up for…I don’t know how long now…

Hey, you’d visit me, yeah?

Shake your head with that, “Oh, so sad, he had so much promise,” look on your face before you shuffle off?

But sometimes I wonder, which way is worse.

Because, you see, in my head, I’m quite happy.

Michel Gondry said, I dream a lot, but I’m not a very good sleeper.

I love that. The knowing that it’s not just me.

Come out, come out…let’s have some fun…

Location: physically, an ugly hotel bed in 14202, mentally…
Mood: awake
Music: one more, you’re nuts

Categories
business personal

Fancy meeting you here

I’m running into too many people I know

I’m away again.

After this past weekend, I’m actually slightly glad to be somewhere else.

I love my city, don’t get me wrong. But when you’ve lived in one place for, basically, your whole life, you’re bound to keep ending up at familiar places.

And running into old ghosts.

Him: So, are you a partner somewhere yet?
Me: Not so much. (pause) I’m writing, actually.
Him: Oh. That’s…cool. Are you and that girl married now?
Me: Well, she’s married. Not to me though. Kid any day now.
Him: Oh! (pause) Are you happy at least?
Me: (thinking) I’m happy in my head.

Location: 20 feet from the middle of nowhere
Mood: busy
Music: Who? I really wanna know Who are you?