Three changes in life

I think that people go through three major changes in their life: early 20s, late 20s, and middle-to-late 30s; this is why so many people divorce, especially if they marry young.

I think people go through three major changes in life

Water Towers in NYC

When I first started blogging years ago, I wrote on LiveJournal and met a number of people I still keep in touch with.

I actually like Facebook for what it is: A way to keep up with the lives of people you know (kinda) without having to interact with them unless you actually choose to.

But, on the flip side, I miss good long-form writing. Twitter, FB, and the like are good for quick quips or pithy observations but not for thoughtful prose.

In any case, when I was on LJ, I met a number of young married people. Off the top of my head, I can count ten.

All of them ended up getting divorced except for one young lady, who called me out of the blue this weekend asking for some advice on how to get a divorce.

As an odd by-product of that period of time when I was actively dating, I’ve developed a good ability to sense when a couple is headed for a break-up or divorce. It’s not 100%, but it’s pretty good.

I think that people go through three major changes in their life. People try out a personality in their late teens and early 20s – usually becoming a genre of a person – but often become someone different in their late 20s, then again in their middle 30s.

I think that I’ve settled into who I’m supposed to be at this point in my life although some people think that more change is ahead.

The thing about young people getting married young is that you’ve got two people that probably did see the world the same way in that first period but don’t last through the second and third.

Years ago, people did – my parents did, and so did yours, I suppose – but with the world getting smaller, it’s a lot easier to try and find someone that sees life the way you do rather than try and convince someone to see it your way.

Anywho, breakups are hard, regardless of the reasons why.

Me: Is it really over?
Friend: Yes, I think so.
Me: I’m sorry to hear it. OK, here’s what you have to do…

Location: home
Mood: thoughtful
Music: been all around the world, marching to the beat of a different drum

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5 replies on “Three changes in life”

I miss LiveJournal as well and our interactions; although I cringe knowing how I ‘let it all out’ as a young teen (not sure of my exact age) for others to read. I mean, it was good to let it out and to have people read and respond. It’s just not something I’d be able to do today on that level, although when in a really bad spot I do have a desire to write a long entry about my current situation (and then I wish I had LJ again!). I have yet to read my old pre-LJ hand-written journals, with all its curse-words and pain, and I deleted my LJ. Something about reading about the past, with all I went through, all the pain & confusion…Just too much for me.

I often forget completely about those years I wrote on LJ; and I realize now how lucky I was to have people like you around to give provide guidance and moral support. It’s probably the closest thing I had to a family. I never received emotional support via the outside world…but I did on LJ. I am grateful. It may have saved my life, literally.

I see the website still exists; maybe it still serves as a long-form writing platform? I really should get back into long-form, therapeutic writing as a way to de-stress and such. I hold so much in sometimes, with nobody to talk to about ‘that stuff’. No bueno.

Great that you’ve kept in touch w/ so many people. Sad about the divorces. Marrying young, I agree, is a bad idea. My two cousins from the South went that route; were divorced within 3 years.

Hey there – you are one of the people that I am most happiest about meeting. I think you’ll be a famous artist some day and I’ll be lucky enough to say that I knew you.

Thanks for the compliment! I think that I give advice to people younger than me because I made so (so) many boneheaded and stupid decisions when I was younger. I want people to have the opportunity to not have that same regret I had.

Yes, LJ still exists but I’m not sure how well trafficked it is these days. I miss how it used to be but, just like any relationship, missing it doesn’t mean that if you go back, things will be the same.

On that note, can you imagine what your life would be like if you married the person you were with when you were 20?! That would be crazy and hell (for both me and her) I’m sure.

Hey Logan!
You’re humble — in any case, your advice is golden!
I wish I had advice these days; I have to trust myself now that I’m a grown-up (not that I’m not open to advice!). But, sometimes you’ve gotta’ listen only to yourself and take the plunge. My life is very strange due to that, ha.

“An artist in Grenoble, REALLY?” (The question I always get asked…as well as the one I ask myself…especially being at a loss of freelance gigs at the moment. It’s like…maybe I should just move! Oh yeah, except that moving is very expensive.)

Yes, I doubt LJ would be the same. Actually, of course it wouldn’t be.

If I married who I dated before my previous boyfriend…Eeeh…That’s a thought. That said, I have been with my current boyfriend since I was 21. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking! It is working out somehow, as much as I continue to evolve & change. Although from different cultures, languages and generations, we are both strange creatures — thus perhaps we are an exception to the rule.

There are always exceptions to every rule so let’s hope you two are it.

And now we’re at 2015. I wonder what it holds for the two us? Let’s hope good things.

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