Put up the Christmas tree, finally
Put up my Christmas tree the other day. It was a lot better and a lot worse than I imagined it would be. Taking out all the ornaments was the most difficult part.
The one Alison and I loved most is one of me, her, and the kid. That’s the one I couldn’t bear to see.
Me: We were supposed to buy each other an ornament once a year. We only did it from 2013 to 2017. And never again.
Gymgirl: I’m sorry, Logan.
Me: Can you hang them for me? Is that ok?
Her: Of course. (takes them) I’ll be careful.
I keep them under my bed. Because if I have to run out of the house for some reason, I can easily grab them. They’re the most valuable things I own, you see.
The thing with having dated so much is that I run into old ghosts all the time. It’s an occupational hazard.
Saw a woman I met years ago while going downtown the other day. She’s tall and beautiful so she’s hard to miss.
We spent an entire evening chatting and telling each other volumes of our lives and never exchanged numbers. Don’t remember her name.
All I remember was that she was unbearably sad and that I entertained her all night. I think we didn’t exchange anything because we both knew we weren’t each others person but we had that night.
I’ve had lots of single serving relationships in my life.
If I had the energy, I wish I could tell her that I understood now that you never really overcome the blow. You just keep trying to.
She disappeared onto the N train heading downtown and I took the R train to where I needed to be. When I got there, I heard about another young lady that took her life.
Sometimes, you overcome the blow and sometimes the blow overcomes you.
God, I hate the holidays so.
Location: in front of the tree
Mood: sad
Music: We were young, we were beautiful
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