Tequila is still not my friend
Two buddies from college have birthdays around the same time and we all use these birthdays as an excuse to get together. I’ve been MIA for the past several years: Before Alison got sick with cancer, we kept losing babies and we both didn’t want to be social at all.
The very last time I attended one of these, Alison had recently lost another one but she insisted I go out and have a good time. I tried. She was diagnosed later that year.
Fuck. This is why I drink.
My college friends were some of the first people I called when I re-entered the world. Every single one of them came out.
In any case, I actually couldn’t make dinner because of a prior engagement but I showed up afterward for drinks. Walked into the middle of a funny debate:
Her: …I think most of the cool kids dated in high school. Did any of you not?
Me: Do you know the nerds that the jocks and cool kids beat up? Well, I was the guy that those nerds beat up.
I actually did date two girls in high school. Both ended disastrously, as most high school things go, although I do have fond memories of one of them. But that’s besides the point.
On the topic of dating, one of the guys, Anthony, recently became single.
Me: It’s tough for me to do something like online dating because (a) I’m older and (b) I have a kid, so I kinda have to do real life pickup. Luckily, I have little to no shame.
Her: What do you say to people?
Me: “My name’s Logan. I’m looking to make some friends. You look nice.”
Her: (laughs) Does that work?
Me: (shrugging) The truth is a powerful thing.
Ended up buying Anthony some bourbon and he bought the table some shots. Tequila shots.
Honest to god, I’ve lost two hats in my life and both were when I had tequila. Tequila is still not my friend.
We all ended leaving east of midnight and Anthony and I were headed the same way. We kept chatting about dating and being single.
As we approached 14th Street, I looked up and locked eyes with a beautiful girl.
Me: Hello, darling. You look nice. How’s your evening been?
Her: (laughs) Good. (pause) That’s a cool jacket.
Me: Thank you. So, what’s your name?
Her: (smiles) Serena.
Me: How very nice to meet you, Serena. My name’s Logan. Now, have you met my friend, Anthony yet? (turning to Anthony) Anthony, this is Serena. (turning to Serena) Serena, this is Anthony. You two should talk. This is my stop. Have a lovely evening.
Now, I actually had two more adventures that night that I’ll keep to myself for the time being, but ended up drunkenly calling someone after 2AM, which is yet another story in and of itself.
Her: Are you…are you drunk dialing me? I think this is my first drunk dial.
Me: What luck. Mine as well. It’s good to be first.
I woke up late the next day when I got a buzz on my phone.
Life is nothing if not entertaining.
Location: the basement of my brain, again
Mood: disappointed
Music: Say something
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