Impromptu
Son: I wanna come home.
Me: When?
Him: Today.
Me: If you come home today, you won’t be able to see your grandparents for a long time.
Him: I want to come home.
Do you ever wonder why you see dead, or dying, animals on the side of the road, rather than the middle, for the most part?
It’s because, when an animal’s injured, it instinctively heads for safety and tries to go home.
When it makes it to the side of the road, it probably thinks, in some way, I need to get home, but let me rest first.
It knows that the middle of the road isn’t safe and that the safest place is home.
While we’re not anywhere near the middle of the road, my son and I aren’t truly home, either. He’s away, and without him here, I suppose I am also. Both of us are adrift, in familiar places that we love but are not – in fact – home.
I had probably the most brutal video chat I’ve had in recent memory with the boy.
My bringing him to his grandparents was a spur-of-the-moment thing that turned out to be the best thing for him as I got COVID not soon afterward.
He’s been enjoying his time with his grandparents but I think he’s realizing that he’s been away from home far longer than he expected.
I spent the day in a haze. Gutted by this conversation and others.
Man, whoever came up with the line about “sticks and stones” didn’t know shit…
But, I did end up having a nice, impromptu, evening because Mouse was in town and dropped me a line.
Her: I’ll be in your area. I was thinking about getting pizza.
Me: I’m having such a rotten day, get me three plain slices, please. I have beer.
Podcast Version
Location: home, as it were…
Mood: heartbroken
Music: Oh, I miss you, you know (Spotify)
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