The Lo family

Buying a cat and moving to Vermont.

It’s funny what hits the grief button. It’s family week at his school and the boy excitedly brought home the picture above and the picture below.

Him: (proudly) I drew us, it’s our family. (seeing my face, sadly) You don’t like it?
Me: (smiling) Sorry, I was thinking about work. I love it. Thank you. It looks just like us.
Him: We’re wearing shorts!

Spoke to my new therapist. She was nice enough but I do question her observational skills.

Me: …and that’s what the past five years of my life has been like.
Her: I see. Would you say that it was traumatic?
Me: (pause) Just so I understand, you’re asking me if the loss of six pregnancies, my wife, my father, my career, my dreams, and my last relationship was traumatic?
Her: Did I just offend you?
Me: You seem like a bright enough young lady, doc. What do you think?

Have you ever heard of Soft Ghosting? It’s essentially where you kinda keep in touch with people you’ve dated but not really.

If I were honest, I would say that I kinda like that.

Cause I’ve always hated giving someone the talk that I wasn’t their fella but it seems to be roundly accepted these days that everything is ephemeral and nebulous.

It works for me because everything around me seems ephemeral and nebulous.

On the flip side, random women I’ve met through life contact me on the reg to ask for my advice, or – even nicer – just to see how I’m we’re doing.

I find this somewhat endearing, especially considering how I met all of them.

Me: Out of everyone, why ask me? I’m a womanizer and clearly not right in the head, to the point I’m seeing a therapist. You know my dating history – you’re part of it, in fact.
Her: (shrugging) You give good advice. Plus, you’re still better than most guys out there.
Me: Man, that’s…sad.
Her: (laughing) It really is. Let me tell you, I’ve definitely considered just buying a cat and moving to Vermont. It’s too bad we never worked out.

Another friend…

Her: I swear to god, Logan, none of this better end up in your blog.
Me: Too late.

Location: the park with white wine and plastic cups, just before the rain
Mood: thoughtful
Music: should I call to see if you’re alright (Spotify)
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