Quickly and completely
It’s been an incredibly busy few weeks. But that’s only part of why I’ve been quiet lately.
My son’s eczema got triggered somehow and it roared back in the worst possible way.
It’s tough being a caretaker. All you can do, sometimes, is just watch and feel helpless. It’s a special type of agony.
To see him is such discomfort was heartbreaking.
He went to see the doc for a last-minute appointment and the doc tried to reassure me that he would simply grow outta it, but that didn’t really help.
And some stuff I tried made things worse, in a manner of speaking.
See, someone told me once that the beach was good for eczema so I had to go to beach a number of times to see if it would help and it both made the situation better and worse, for various reasons.
Eventually, it went away again but I also brought him back out to NJ to stay for a few days, partly because he wanted to go but also because I was hoping that being away from the city would help too.
While he was in beach, he called an old caretaker of his who told him she would call right back but didn’t.
Him: Why didn’t she call back?
Me: I don’t know. You didn’t do anything wrong. People are busy sometimes.
Him: She doesn’t like me.
Me: That’s not true at all and you know it. People are complex and there are so many other things involved that you don’t know. (gently) I’m sorry, kiddo. Hey, do you want burgers for dinner?
Him: Burgers, yay!
I just asked him about it tonight, right before bed, and he said he didn’t remember it, which gave me some relief.
I told him again that she was probably busy and cared a lot about him, to which he laughed and said that he knew.
The thing about me, and I guess him, is our immense capacity to forget.
I envy him, a bit.
The power to forget so quickly and completely is a wonderous thing. Sometimes.
Blessed are the forgetful, after all…
And his eczema’s gone again, which is even better. It actually went away a few days before he left for NJ. That’s the thing about flareups, sometimes, you have zero idea what caused them in the first place.
Plus, he’s home. Which is the best.
Location: caught in the hot rain, hoping that it’ll all gonna be ok
Mood: relieved
Music: Sunshine, I don’t mind salt in my hair and the sand in my toes (Spotify)
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