Her: I love that you’re a quirky old curmudgeon. Me: Thank…you…?
Was walking through the neighborhood the other day when I saw these two gingerbread houses drying outside of a townhouse.
These are people that believe in their neighbors.
Snapped a picture and walked away feeling a bit like what I imagine those that live in small towns feel like.
New York really does go all out for the holidays.
From little things…
…to much larger displays.
In some ways, I wish I could see the world as the kid sees it because it must be such a nice place for him, without all the baggage and horror of all I know.
Ah, to be a kid again for the holidays.
By the time you read this, I’ll be flying back from a quick trip to some sunny beach.
I’ll tell you all about it in a bit.
Right now, I’m pooped.
Oh, and I have news, but it’ll take me a bit to figure out how to tell it to you…
This year, we went to Rossini’s, which was like stepping into a Mad Men restaurant in the 50s.
Waiter: Would you like some wine? Me: I’ll have an Old Fashioned with rye, not very sweet if you got it. Him: Not very sweet? Me: Nah, I’m sweet enough.
There was a new paralegal who was originally from Texas that just started at the office.
Me: So, if one of us were to visit you in your small town, what would be the one place we’d have to go? Her: (laughing) No place. Me: None? There’s gotta be someplace. Her: I’d have to bring you to Austin – cause there’s nothing to see where I’m from.
She’s going to law school at some point, so we got to talking about law school.
Me: Never thought I’d ever say this but, I look back fondly at law school. Young Associate: Me too. It was a while ago. I graduated in 2015. Me: Jesus, I graduated in 1998. Another Associate: I wasn’t born yet. Me: (nodding) Well, this party’s going well.
We also got to discussing some of the more interesting cases and clients we have. Because I’ve not been around the office as much, it was nice to feel back in the mix of things, however briefly.
Because of attorney-client privilege I can discuss any of the things we discussed but…man, I wish I could.
Me: Honestly, the law is great – both the practice and the mindset. The issue is always the client. Partner: That is so true.
Afterward, we all parted ways outside of Grand Central.
Boss: No matter how many times I’ve been here, it’s always impressive. New York is always impressive. Me: It is. That’s why I’m not sure I could ever leave.
Went through Grand Central to make it home.
There was a Christmas Market going on.
Gotta remember to bring the kid here to check it all out one of these days.
There really isn’t anyplace like NYC during the holidays.
The holidays are getting better for me, slowly but surely.
I still miss Alison terribly, but time makes things bearable.
Editor’s Note: I may or not post for Friday.
Hope you have a wonderful holiday, and I’ll see you soon.
Location: NJ, having dinner with the fam
Mood: caffeinated and egg-nogged, all at once
Music: I think I’m over thinking (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Me: (seeing a pic of the Firecracker) You were so young back then! Her: Yup – now look at me. I’m with a very old Chinese man. Me: Well, I wouldn’t say very old. Her: Right. Because you’re not doing back exercises eight times a day and buying orthopedic butt supports? Me: … Her: Yeah…
The Firecracker was kind enough to surprise me with a back brace the other day for my crap back.
Gone from rolling around and fighting 20-somethings to sitting in cushioned chairs wherever I go and wearing a back brace.
On that note, I’ve also started seeing a chiropractor to add to my stable of doctors, physical therapists, and general clinicians.
Oddly, the first thing I thought of when I got the brace was the presidency and both Trump and JFK.
The assassin that missed Trump missed ending his life by perhaps an inch in several directions.
Between when the gunman pulled the trigger and when the bullet hit, enough time had passed that Trump shifted his head just enough to be merely grazed.
Contrast that with JFK, who was killed on the killer’s second bullet.
This is meaningful because the first bullet shoulda caused JFK to fall forward, as it did his companion John Connally, but it didn’t.
Always find it so interesting that so much of life for the world writ large hinges on these rando choices we all make.
Then again, I should probably think longer about some of the choices I make.
Her: (cleaning and dancing about when I enter the room) How are you feeling? Me: Eh, ok, I guess. (pausing) What are you doing? Her: My sexy cleaning dance. Me: Oh, when’s it gonna start? Her: God, you’re so rude!
I should probably think longer about some of the choices I make.
On a different note entirely, I’d left a few things at Steel’s pad the prior week so we found ourselves back there again, with the kids swimming while I fixed a computer issue that was bothering them.
Of course, Steel cooked up a storm:
Him: These are some fried gnocchi with some sauce to dip it in. Me: I’ve never had them before. Him: Me neither but they sounded good. Me: (trying one) Dammit, they are. I gotta stop eating so many carbs. Him: Try a cookie – that’s a new recipe too – there are sprinkles on and in the cookie. Me: Oh man…
Because of what happened at the Surgeon’s pad a while back, he bought a crate of an assortment of seriously top-shelf rum that I thoroughly enjoyed.
He also gave me a jar of oregano that was grown by a family friend of his in Greece.
Cannot describe how amazing it smells.
Went home and immediately made some Greek Lemon Chicken, which ranked among the best I’ve ever made.
All-in-all, it was a good weekend, although I am getting concerned with how much I’ve been eating these days.
Don’t think I’ve ever lost my cool and was happy about the results. If I can give the kid anything, hopefully, it’s a better sense of being calm and calculated.
To this end, I personally have been re-reading (ok, skimming) Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and also other stoic books here and there in the hopes that all this anger at the injustice of Alison and my dad’s suffering and deaths somehow becomes more manageable.
It’s a daily struggle, I have to admit.
One really sweet thing that we’ve been doing here at Casa Lo is to have regular board game nights with the kids.
It’s a small and silly thing but one that I appreciate greatly because children – at this age and younger – learn so much in competition and games.
Forgot to take pics, so I took the pic from this old entry in 2011 with Alison at Paul’s old pad.
We’ve been playing a few card games as well as board games, particularly what we call The Bean Game – addictively fun – and Settlers of Catan.
Both boys are pretty competitive but, because my son is younger, he’s still dealing with the emotions that come with winning and losing.
One night, recently, the kid had a particularly bad night and lost his cool, so I brought him to his room to have a chat with him.
I think I want what every good parent wants: For one’s children to be better than they are.
Hope I have enough time here to accomplish that.
After all, if we’re being honest here, it’s really the main reason I’m here.
Me: What’s the obligation of a champion, boy? Him: To act like a champion. Me:…at all times. Don’t forget that last part: At all times. Him: But you lose your temper too, papa! Me: I’m aware. I’m working on that. And that’s kinda my point: You can be better than me. And I want you to be better than me. Listen, if you act like a musician, with enough practice, you’ll be one. If you act like a BJJ player, you’ll be one. And if you act like a champion, you’ll be one. But you have to do it at all times. There’s no such thing as a parttime champion.
My buddy around the way had a major milestone birthday the other day, right after we’d gone swimming over at Steel’s.
So, the Firecracker and I rushed home – already stuffed – to change to meet up with them.
The party was in a restaurant across the street from Alison’s office, so I had a few moments in my head, but we’ll just end that part of the story there.
When we arrived, the Maitre’d brought up to the lower level, which my friends had taken over for the party.
The Firecracker and I got to sit with the birthday boy, which I was super flattered by.
Me: I met Dave like 27 years ago. Him: No, it was 24 and a half years ago – I know this because we met the day I started at this company and I’m coming up on 25 years soon. Me: (laughing) I stand corrected.
Tried my best to not eat that much at Steel’s because I knew the food here wouldn’t disappoint…
…and it assuredly didn’t.
I was asked to say a few words, so I did.
This woman once said, Good things happen slowly, bad things happen fast. You don’t really know who’s gonna be important in your life and how life is gonna unfold until years go by. And somehow 25 years have passed. There are at least four people in this room that didn’t exist when we first met….I knew him [first] as a co-worker, and then my drinking buddy in the neighborhood – (to kids) we drank a lotta water – now I see him as a father, as a husband, and all these other things and it’s wonderful to see. It’s wonderful to see your friends in these different capacities that you didn’t know they were capable of.
Everything I said was true.
(c) Ken Landau
RE Mike was there, along with his wife, and so many other people that I met throughout the years.
I gotta say, the very best thing about getting older is the friends that keep you company along the way.
There was a killer premium open bar but, ever since the Surgeon’s party, I’ve been wary about overindulging…
…although I did cheat a bit on my no/low-carb rule and had a touch of cake.
There’s a lot more that happened but those are all other people’s stories so I’ll just say that we had an amazing time.
The Firecracker and I took a long walk from the East Side to the West Side, stopping at Madison Square Park to look at the tree…
…and take some pictures.
Her: Thanks for always including me to these kinda things. Me: (puzzled) Of course. We’re a team. Her: (smiling) I like that. Me: Plus, I like to show you off. You’re super hot. Her: (laughing)
And just like her place, it’s way up high in the building so there are some spectacular views everywhere.
So, the other day, the Firecracker and I headed there with the kids to hang out with their kids.
View from the swimming pool
The kids all had a grand time…
…but Steel is also one of the best cooks/bakers I know.
His kid had garlic knots the other day and wanted him to make some for him. So, he did and they were amazing.
He was not stingy with the garlic.
Me: (sarcastically) You know, I think you could have put in even more garlic. Him: (showing me the mixing bowl) I was gonna put all this in when I decided against it. Me: I’m already sweating garlic.
While he was doing all that, I was trying to fix a laptop, to no avail as I didn’t have the right parts.
Steel, meanwhile, decided to bake tworustic loaves of bread from scratch.
How that family isn’t a million pounds is beyond me.
Maybe they swim a lot?
The Surgeon and his kids were there so I finally got to tell him what his party did to my stomach and vacation.
Me: I literally left my DNA all over Manhattan, Brooklyn, and that ship because of you. Him: (shrugging) I’d do it again. Me: Harumph!
Ended up taking Steel’s laptop back home to try and fix and he gave us one of the two loaves he just baked to bring home as well.
Me: We can’t take that. Her: (shrugging) It’s fresh homemade bread. I’m taking it. You don’t have to eat it. Me: We both know I don’t have that kinda willpower.
In any case, as fun a time as we were all having, I had to run to my other buddy’s birthday party around the way.
It took me two days because I wanted to get it just right.
Plus, I made two of them.
They came out perfectly!
I meant to take pictures of both of them but we were all starving and could barely take the pictures that we did.
I also made some mac and cheese for the boys – my sister has two boys, I have the boy, and the Firecracker has a son as well.
That was a huge hit with them, as was the chicken for everyone else.
And I got them some dumplings, which were actually not as much a hit with the boys as I’d hoped.
As was the mashed potatoes that the Firecracker made completely from scratch.
Her: We have a five pound bag of potatoes. How many should I make. Me: Five? Her: (shrugging) OK, five pounds of mashed potatoes, coming up.
She also made a broccoli casserole, which I love, from scratch, as well as some beef with broccoli, Chinese-style, but from a kit.
My sis made an absolutely delicious low-carb chocolate cake while my brother-in-law made a killer apple and cranberry pie.
I insisted that they take the pie home because: (a) I prefer pie to cake, (b) it was legit delicious – I was very impressed – but not low-carb so I knew I would eat the entire thing if left in my house.
We were all stuffed in short order.
The kids got to play a bit while the rest of us just chatted and caught up.
We were done pretty early and my family were on the road before dinnertime, along with lots of leftovers for everyone.
Firecracker: You mom said I should bring something to my ex. Me: Yeah, you should. (thinking) OMG, give him some potatoes. We can’t have it in the house. Her: Cause you’ll eat it? Me: Cause I’ll eat it.
Had a chance to talk to my mom before she left.
Me: So, what did you think, mom? Her: You gave me so much food! Normally, I would eat a lot less but I wanted to make you happy. Me: Honestly, I’m just glad you came. Her: Oh, we’ll come again! Me: That would be great, mom. It’d be really great. Thanks for coming.
After Alison died, I really retreated into myself and made a lot of new connections, most of which are gone now for one reason or another.
But I continued to be invited out to things by my friends, despite my usual reluctance to leave the house.
With the Firecracker, though, I feel like I’m back in the world again.
To wit, The NFL Player invited us all to his pad for a pre-Thanksgiving dinner party so off we all went.
Thor was also there, which made for some interesting conversation.
Thor’s Wife: I’ve had a few drinks, so I was wondering if the stereotype is true. Firecracker: (showing up) What’s the conversation? Thor: We’re talking about Logan and his [stuff]. Her: Oh, that? Pleasantly surprised. Not all stereotypes are true. Thor: Yup. Me: I asked you to keep that to yourself, Thor.
Needed a lot more alcohol after that as that was the topic of conversation for longer than I woulda wanted.
Having said that, I stuffed myself silly as there was an entire tray of smoked brisket.
Legit, I regret that I ran outta room to put more of it into me.
The NFL Player lives right on Central Park West with a killer view of the parade path.
This meant that, on the walk home, the kids got to run around in the streets – which were closed off – and fully took advantage of that.
My kid is yelling, “Freedom!!!” here.
It was a great night and everyone went home completely stuffed.
But Thanksgiving was the very next day and my family was coming over for the very first time, ever.
