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Way less sad

Taking it every day I can

KG Betty: I just moved a few weeks ago; once I’m settled in it’ll all start sinking in. How about you? Still super happy? I hope everything is good with you!
Me: I wouldn’t say I’m super happy but you just reminded me of a song I’ve been listening to called “Way Less Sad.” It’s got a line goes, “I’m not happy yet, but I’m way less sad.”

Been chatting with KG Betty again.

She reached out to me a few times while Alison was sick but I couldn’t pull myself together enough to chat with her.

Or anyone, really.

Afterward, I was even more of a mess.

But, she always kept in touch, something I really appreciated. And she’s been dealing with her own stuff these days so I reached out to her.

Like I always said, old friends are such a valuable thing to have in your life.

I’m grateful for the ones that have stuck around.

Speaking of friends, my buddy Katrina was in my area the other day.

Her boyfriend was part of a bartending contest at our fave rum joint, Tiki Chick, to raise money for EPIC: Empowering Pacific Islander Communities.

Wanted to go – both to see them and because it’s my regular rum joint – but I was dealing with more tech issues, which I’ll tell you about one of these days.

Me: Sorry, was a crazy busy day with my network going down. Very annoying.
Her: That sucks. But it’s okay – you’re a busy guy

It’s a shame that I couldn’t make it but I figure they’ll do something like this again in the future and I can make it next time.

Until then, back to fixing this @#$@#$! network…

What I told KG Betty and my buddy Owen is true and I think that pretty much sums up my entire mindset these days.

I think that once someone deals with a double-whammy loss like I did, happy is something that seems very quaint and far away.

Way less sad is a win in my book and I’ll take it every day I can.

Obviously, the Firecracker has a lot to do with this, so I’m grateful for her as well.

Location: The New Cottage with my two tiny roommates
Mood: tech-y
Music: you’re so insane – shut up and just enjoy this feelin’ (Spotify)
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Boston 2025: Dinner with Yvonne

Biking around Boston

The next day, we both woke up at a reasonable time and did a quickie little bike tour around Boston.

One of the perks of the hotel we were staying at was that they had bikes and helmets you could borrow so we took advantage.

One fun thing we found out was that there are alleyways in Boston that span several blocks, if not miles, and are a great way to get around while checking out fancy townhouses.

That was an unexpectedly fun little distraction.

Afterward, we took the train out to check out the Charles River Boat Tour.

Despite the heat, humidity, and the rando rainstorms that appeared outta nowhere and disappeared just as quickly, it was pretty comfortable and cool.

Her: I’ve been to Boston a few times before, but this is my first time seeing it from the river.
Me: Same!

This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to Harvard – both physically and metaphysically.

Afterward, we took the train home, but our plans were thrown off a bit because there was an almost 30-minute train delay.

So, we barely had any time at the hotel before we had to dash off for dinner.

She’d made some reservations at Yvonne, a pretty well-known restaurant on the same block as our hotel, that we had to move back a bit.

It was worth the wait, though.

Both for the absolutely delish food…

…and the amazing atmosphere.

Waiter: …and the bar is the original bar that was created in the 1700s.
Me: Get outta here.
Him: It’s true.

They ended up mixing up some stuff and comping us an additional entree…

…which – shockingly – I couldn’t finish.

It happens from time-to-time.

So, we brought that back to the hotel room before heading back out to check out a speakeasy called The Wig Shop that the Firecracker picked out.

But this is getting long, so I’ll wrap up our Boston trip in the next entry.

Location: home, dealing with flood aftermath
Mood: humid and wet
Music: If this world’s a circle, I got no time for them squares (Spotify)
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Totally random (videos)

I’ll always love NY

There’s gonna be zero rhyme or reason to this entry cause I went through my camera and found a buncha random videos that I meant to post.

Let’s start with a video shot in October of 2023 where I took a bus out to Queens in this entry.

Now, I’d meant to post this video in that entry, but I forgot I even took it.

Essentially, that explains all the rest of these videos.

Nothing special but I just always liked seeing the NYC rivers while on bridges.

Now, this is another video I shot in October of 2023, where this very old and broken dude was screaming out racial epithets at people who were just walking by him.

I believe the cops got involved but I was already gone by the time they started to arrive.

While NYC definitely has moments like that, it also has moments like the next video, which I shot the following month on November 18th, 2023.

It’s just some people playing ping pong on the pedestrian square outside of Koreatown.

I like how totally random it is, just like NYC itself, which is also totally random.

That’s all I got for now.

Well, that is until I find another batch of random videos from my phone.

Lemme close out this entry with someone else’s video; this is Ryan Adams singing his song New York, New York.

It was shot in 2001, right before the World Trade Center was hit and is how I remember the buildings before all the horror.

There’s a line in it that goes, I’ll always love you though, New York.

Despite a whole lotta things, that sounds about right.

Location: a trampoline park all day, surrounded by kids and noise
Mood: headachey
Music: In a church on the upper west side (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Los Angeles 2018, Day 3a

Grappling with some scooters and Zankou’s Chicken

Actually, one of the first things we did after we checked into the hotel was to look at a grappling school just a few blocks from the hotel.

Me: Wow, it’s only two blocks away from here. Did you plan that out?
Her: (pause) Yes?

We were planning on seeing a few schools but I neglected to factor in the holidays so we only got to visit the one. But  we were fine with that because it was so nice and welcoming.

In fact, the woman that worked at the front desk used to live just two blocks from me.

Her: I loved the Upper West Side.
Me: Correction, it’s the Upper BEST Side.

The main instructor is a pretty famous practitioner named Ryron (pronounced “he-ron”) who was just the nicest guy.

We spent two really enjoyable but challenging hours there early on Saturday before we went back to the hotel to get changed.

Her: That was a lot of fun.
Me: I know! I think we’ve been brainwashed to think that grappling schools are fulla screaming and impatient instructors (because of our old instructor).

After we got cleaned up, we ended up taking an Uber to a Zankou Chicken.

Driver: I haven’t seen anyone read an actual paper in years.
Me: I’m as old as dirt.

Interestingly, while we were there, it was the first time I’ve ever asked anyone to take a picture of us and they said no.

Woman: I’d rather not.
Me: That’s unexpected, but ok.

Instead of taking a car back, the Gymgirl suggested that we take one of the several electric scooters around us. It took us a few tries but we ultimately got two going.

Unfortunately, while mine was pretty zippy…

…hers was decidedly not:

There’s more but you know that I don’t like to write super long entries so I’ll have to continue this tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s a video of Ryron (the guy on the bottom) and his brother Renner, doing what they do:

 

Location: heading out to see some friends with the boy
Mood: hungry
Music: they shine for you and all the things that you do
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Grateful for my adversaries

The Cartoon with Ralph and Sam, the Coyote and Sheepdog

A Great First Date is finally out on Amazon!

It came out Friday and I was going to write a post on it, but work got in the way. In any case, now it’s available on all platforms including Barnes & Noble Nook, and Apple iBooks.

If you like this blog, you’ll probably like the book as it’s essentially one long entry about one narrow topic. More on this later.

Me: You just elbowed me in the head!
Him: You just slapped me.

Was telling someone recently about this Warner Brothers cartoon I used to watch as a kid where there was this sheepdog named Sam and a coyote named Ralph.

Evidently, they’re not just friends and roommates but also co-workers. What makes the cartoon interesting is that between the hours of 9 to 5, they are mortal enemies – each trying to outwit, and even kill the other. But once the bell rings to signal the end of the day, they put their differences aside and go home.

I have a regular training partner when I wrassle and we’re pretty good friends. But the moment we hit the mat, we each expect the other to bring his best, which means a lot of relatively controlled violence.

Then the bell rings and we go home.

I’m grateful for my adversaries in life; the ones I count as friends and the ones that I don’t.

They make me anti-fragile.

And these days, I find that I need that more and more.

Him: Oh man, what have you been eating, you weigh a ton.
Me: Chili, what else?

Location: at the end of several deadlines
Mood: hopeful
Music: be brave with what you want to say
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Burn all them bridges down, to the ground, cause I won’t be coming this way again

UWS NYC

Him: So – y’think you’re back on your feet finally?
Me: (thinking) Yeah. I do.
Him: Good. (raises a weapon) Let’s go.
Me: (laughing and raising my sword) En garde.

Been spending my days with my nose to the grind and working like mad. Spending nights with my favourite person.

An old friend of mine crossed my mind today. We had some good times but he ended up being a different person; I’m sure he thinks the same of me. But in the end – like so many others – that relationship wasn’t worth the time and effort.

Thought about all of people that have come in and out of Venn Diagram. The people and relationships I cut, the boats and bridges I’ve burned.

They say never burn any bridges, but I say sometimes you gotta burn all them bridges down, to the ground, cause you won’t be coming this way again.

And the bridges and people I got left earned their spot in my life as I hope I’ve in theirs.

Got my pad, my people, my poison, and my person. I’m sickeningly content.

And boy, have I got stories to tell you. I’ll tell you one Wednesday tomorrow.

Me: I’m good at convincing people to do things they wouldn’t want to do normally.
Her: Well, you convinced me to marry you.

Location: AC Hotel lobby in Malaga, Spain
Mood: thoughtful
Music: I’ve got friends and they’ve got my back
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Clear Blue Skies

I’d like to move away – but I’d miss my family

The funeral I went to has been on my mind. It’s made me pensive and sappy.

I have no death wish – far from it. I have a master plan to live until I’m 100. But the plans of mice and men…

What I think about is whether or not I’ll get to find out if my father is right or wrong.

My father, you see, believes me in. I don’t know why, especially in light of my dismal track record in, well…just about everything. Yet, he thinks that I am capable of things I don’t think I am.

He always says, The race is long, one day you’ll fly.

Maybe he’s just like every other dad in the world. Maybe he really believes it.

I like to think he believes it.

That’s the real reason I don’t just pack up and leave to Beijing, Berlin or someplace where no one knows me, you know?

Because it would be nice if I could prove him right.

And I’d miss them all.

Location: sick in bed
Mood: sick
Music: So, all alone I keep the wolves at bay
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