Tag: dating

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personal

The SOOR

A basketball court on a NYC rooftop

Me: Realized why I don’t wear flip-flops out. Think it’s cause when I was a kid, used to and then when the other kids tried to beat me up, couldn’t run away fast enough.
Her: (immediately) Oh don’t worry, I’ll protect you now.
Went drinking with Nadi and Paul at his pad this past Saturday. Quite something when you start drinking at 5PM and call it a night at 10.

Things have been pretty good these days; clients’re slowly coming out of the woodwork. Been busy lately, not so must busy with coin production so much as busy with preparation for coin production.

Eh, tomayto, tomahto…

———-

Him: Gonna have the talk with her today, wish us luck.

Got no fewer than four friends that’ve had the SOOR (Status Of Our Relationship) talk.

Two got their walking papers, one got conditional employment, one got a permanent position – though, really, all good relationships’re temp-to-perm at some point, yeah?

Think maybe that’s why I was upset with onea my friends. Cause I felt like he already filled the position with some imaginary person and was just stringing the contestant along. But he says he wasn’t and he’s an honest fellow.

Frank Sinatra had this song I heard once where he said something like, doesn’t matter if you’re the dumper or the dumpee, sucks either way. Or not.

———-

Me: Can’t do it, my finger’s broken.
Him: (rolling eyes) Somethings always broken on you…

Lost my health insurance. This means no wrestling for me for now.

Still gonna fence though – grown men stabbing each other with pointy things, what could go wrong there?

Location: apparently Dante’s eighth circle
Mood: goodness, so hot
Music: been looking for something else. Duel it
YASYCTAI: Help me find that Frank Sinatra song! (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Hardboiled

Decided to play some hooky today

Kuma Inn, NYC

Me: Can we tell people that I’m good at math? They’d believe that cause I’m Asian.
Her: What are my people known for?
Me: Um, colonizing minorities, spheres of influence, plying my people with opium, the usual.
Her: Not my people. We were too busy dying of potato famine.

Killed a fly today by kicking it as it landed on the wall. Felt very proud. I’m sure it means little to you, but I’m 36. Being fast enough to kill a fly on the wall with your feet is a big thing to me.

Really gotta get out more.

Speaking of getting out, and to continue from the previous post, last night, took Heartgirl to Kuma Inn where we downed some excellent Filipino food – if you’re gonna go, you need reservations, then you got 90 minutes to eat. If you’re going on a date, bring your own bottle of wine (no rum allowed, I’m afraid) and ask for the corner table.

She and I played hooky today and we sat in the sun for some Mexican food. Later that night, saw Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist.

The real Nick and Nora were based on a old book/movie called The Thin Man. If you like how I write, consider reading some hardboiled crime drama. It’s what I actually write when I’m not writing this blog.

Dunno if I ever told you that.

Been working on a novel for eight years. Really should tie that up. You’d buy a copy, yeah?

Kuma Inn, NYC

Location: 14:00 yest, 86th and Columbus
Mood: oddly hungry
Music: minutes, it’s been days, it’s been all I will remember

Categories
dating personal

Did you know?

Location: two hours ago, leaving the office
Mood: drained
Music: right here, right now

Went on a day trip recently with Heartgirl to a place out in the burbs. I’d gotten up in the middle of the night per my usual insomnia and made a racket looking for the bathroom door.

Me: (silence)
Her: (silence)
Me: I think I’m in the closet.
Her: (wakes up laughing) I can’t…breathe…(laughs harder) I thought…I was dreaming that…

Another three feet in, pretty sure I’d be somewhere in Narnia telling Mr. Tumnus that I was just looking for the bathroom.

———-

My friends think I’m a bit paranoid cause I tape up my notebook’s camera in case someone puts in a trojan that let’s people video me. It’s very true.

———-

Me: …the usual. What’s shaking with you? How was your weekend? And can I borrow $24,938? Answer the third question first.
Her: I have $13 and a lot of couch-cushion change. Does that help?

Been chatting with my friend KC and it seems that one outta eight marriages last year came from online dating. The way I see it, it’s like you got a friend named Match or whatnot that says, “Hey, I’ve got a girlie you might like.”It’s just another medium to meet someone. Onea Heartgirl’s friends and I also got into a similar conversation about dating over the weekend.

Her: Where do I go to meet someone that I’ll actually like?
Me: We live in NYC – there’re all over the place.
Her: The guys I want to talk to me, don’t. And the guys I don’t, do.
Me: You should talk to the guys you wanna talk to. Cause people’re lonlier than you might think.

S’funny. She too wondered if I spent all my time watching The Pickup Artist. The pickup is actually more a question of guts than anything else, IMHO. My feeling is that, if you’re a dude and just a little less broken, a little more sober, and just slightly more interesting than the dudes around you, you’ll be fine.

To be more sober, drink more water. To be slightly more interesting, say the first thing that pops into you head all of time.* As for not being broken, now that’s hard…

*Note, this does not work if you’re an idiot or if you’re a douche – consider faking being smart and non-douchey.

YASYCTAI: Take an improv class already. At the worst, you’ll have fun. At the best, you’ll be faster on your feet. (6 weeks/2 pts)

Categories
personal

Snowed in

Location: trapped in my pad
Mood: pensive
Music: something to keep the chill From freezing our own free will

A metro station in Washington DC

Gio had his annual birthday party this past weekend. His buddy, Ron, rented out this entire club in Times Square with a top-shelf open bar and scantily clad dancers. Wish I brought my camera. Heartgirl met some old friends of mine and brought some of her own.

Two fellas were hitting on her so I took the time to sneak away and stuff my face and watch them try. Ended up talking to an old friend who’s taking a break from her boyfriend because after eight years, she’s still not a Mrs. but rather a Ms. She’s probably one of my most attractive and sweetest friends.

Her: Man, Logan. Only you can go to a party and bring a girl down.
Me: Don’t mean to. Just think you deserve better. Cause y’do. S’long time to wait for a day that might never come.

Heartgirl recently saw the Sex in the City film. One of the characters is stood up at her wedding. It’s funny – I always wondered who’d try to marry someone that might bail. Figured that it’s something one would know beforehand, right?

Gave her a hug as Heartgirl sat down next to me and patted my hand.

I then drank enough rum to kill an elephant and stumbled home at 3, I think. But, as always, woke up without a hangover. Rum’s the best.

Was trapped in my apartment into Monday due to the snowstorm.

Me: It’s Monday. It’s my workout day.
Her: What does that mean?
Me: It means that I put on an electric blue spandex outfit with matching legwarmers and crank up Olivia Newton-John’s (Let’s Get) Physical. I think our relationship’s strong enough to handle it.
Her: Logan, no relationship is that strong.

An eyelash was on my face so she told me to blow it off her finger and make a wish, so I did.

YASYCTAI: Maybe it’s time to learn to cook something new. Try salmon. (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
dating personal

Mii

Location: 11:06 yest, H&H; Bagels
Mood: really busy
Music: You can never get enough Enough of this stuff

NYC cityscape from the Hearst Building

Had a nice St. Valentine’s day with a quiet dinner. And Heartgirl demolishing me in Big Brain Academy.

Mii

———-

A neighbor’s bumped into me and several women I’ve dated. It’s a running joke between us. Ran into her again over the weekend and I told her about Heartgirl.

Her: Four months? That’s a record for you!
Me: (laughing) I suppose. I guess I’m just too old for it now.

S’funny cause all of my college friends knew me as the serial monogamist. Friday, saw an old buddy that only knew me as the computer guy with all the suits yet another friend says he’s never seen me in anything but tee-shirts and jeans.

A guy I tangled with was surprised I had a college degree. A girl I tangoed with was surprised I had my quiet nights.

S’funny what people think we are and what we think we are. Me? I think I’m just a recovering dork that doesn’t mind so much any more – see below for proof.

BTW, since I’m not dating wildly any more, read my friend Trix’s blog for a woman’s perspective in NYC dating: Friday I’m in Love.

Trix: [Dating] hasn’t been as fun lately. I just got tired of it.
Me: It does get tiring – all the hellos and goodbyes…

Her: …and the crazy.

Mii

YASYCTAI: What do you think you look like? (1 min /1 pt)

Categories
dating personal

Flinching

Location: 13:00 yest, midtown having lunch w/my favorite person
Mood: anxious
Music: me ready for dem but dem no ready for me

NY Submission Shootout!

Him: I’ve got a lotta anxiety.

Me: You know what anxiety is? It’s the fear of the hypothetical. And the opposite of fear isn’t bravery – it’s preparedness.

Buddy of mine recently got his relationship walking papers – he was anxious about getting dumped and then anxious about dating again. Get dumped once or twice, it rocks you. Get and give walking papers a dozen times a month, doesn’t matter as much. Ask for a number twice a year and there’s an anxiety attached to it. Ask for a number four days a week, for a year, and it becomes a whole lotta nuthin.

Well, nuthin and a stack of paper scraps with funny little drawings on them.

You’ve seen street beef before, right? Two guys all up in each other’s grill? Lots of show and puffery. But the guys that truly know how to tangle don’t do that. They either walk away or shrug and swing.

The closest I got to street beef recently was maybe five years ago? I said, OK, let’s go. Then he flinched. Wimp. So I rolled my eyes and rolled home. Not that I can actually fight, mind you.

This past weekend, was with some of the best submission guys in the city. Yeah, there were some meatheads but these guys were mostly pretty polite. When you got a room fulla well-trained brawlers, you sorta gotta be polite. Saw this one kid just a few pounds heavier than me just demolished a guy that outweighed him by 60 pounds and a foot of height. So impressed.

These guys’re prepared.

I’ve not been sleeping well again. Guess I got my own fear of the hypothetical. Was prepared for slowdowns; up until I got jacked. So I’ve been sending out the resume and calling up old contacts to prepare all over again.

Man, isn’t it always the punch you don’t see coming that gets you?

YASYCTAI: You should start preparing for the things you know’re coming. (time/1 pt)

Categories
personal

Tennis anyone?

Location: one hour ago, the F train in Queens
Mood: committed
Music: when we met Spending all of my time Tracing your silhouette


Me: I have tennis elbow.
Her: Lateral epicondalitis?

Me: Whoa…

Smart people’re just so impressive. Ladies, don’t ever dumb yourself down for a guy cause the guy you’ll end up with, you won’t want.

———-

Sheridan invited me another party this past Saturday. Nice enough crowd; attractive people, booze. Malik Yoba was there as was my favorite type of rum, although it was $14 a glass again. Crap.

Ended up taking a ton of pics for the host and he offered for me to shoot for his website. Maybe. Sheridan and I bounced early cause I wasn’t feeling all that great – did my yearly physical, got some blood drawn, found out I have tennis elbow, and had a flu shot – all of which was draining (literally and figuratively). So stayed in Saturday night even though Paul, Gio and LisaV each had parties going on.

I’ve not been sleeping. Dunno if it’s the stress, the pain or the fact that Heartgirl’s not around. So I’m reading a lot again: This week alone, I read The ABS Diet, first four chapters of Hot, Flat and Crowded, coupla articles on SEO marketing, two issues of the Economist and Fast Company, and three of Maximum Computer.

On a somewhat related note, I’ve decided to get down to 9% body fat or less, which I’ve not been since froshmore year college (a hundred years ago). Wish me luck.

A lotta stuff”s going on. Lemme sort it all out and get back to you.

YASYCTAI: Have you had your yearly physical? (60 mins/3 pts)

Categories
personal

Done, done

Location: 19:00, unlocking a door in Queens
Mood: thoughtful
Music: No one ever said it would be so hard


Me: I’ve always been honest to you.
Her: I know it and I hate it. (pause) I’m just jealous because boys always pick me.
Me: (laughing)
Her: It’s true!
Me: I know it. I know it.

While we never see each other, PCD and I still chat online. We spoke the other night cause I was too tired to type. She’s thinking of starting a blog too, told her she should.

Her: You’re not right for me, I know that.
Me: That’s the thing about her. I think I’m right for her and she’s right for me. We’re appropriate for each other.
Her: I’d hate that – to appropriate for someone else.
Me: It’s not a bad thing. It’s hard for a boy like me to just stop, y’get used to the random nights. You know that better than most people – that it’s hard to stop and say, I pick you. To be done, y’know?
Her: Are you done, done?
Me: I hope so. (pause) I really like her.
Her: (thinking) Good then. I want you to be happy.

If there’s one common trait to the people I’m actually close to, it’s that they’re all really good people. My dad says that if you find good people in the world, you should keep them around at all costs.

He’s a smart man, my dad.

This post continued here.

YASYCTAI: Figure out which one of your friends are worth the effort and drop them a line. (hours/2 pts)

Categories
personal

Being a Ham

Being Your Best Self

 

Me: You agree with what thing I said?
Him: That there’s no such thing as a line? It’s true. I was saying the stupidest things to this one girl the other day, and she loved every word.

Heartgirl asked me recently if I watched The Pickup Artist, implying that that’s where I learned to be the boy I am. But we both know that I made a fool of myself long before that show came out.

Tina Fey’s all over the place these days because of Sarah Palin but she cut her teeth in improv. In the vid, she takes one idea and ends on a completely different point entirely. It’s fascinating cause you can see how her mind snaps associations together. Rain’s like that too in real life (don’t send him an email). It’s called a Monologue in improv. It’s a crucial life skill to be mentally quick on your feet.

Have to say that improv was a one of two major components of being good out and about; the other was a line from a fella named Thomas S. Monson who said, Don’t be yourself, be your best self.

Contrary to what most people think, the key to connecting with people isn’t to be fake, but very much the opposite: to be as really you as possible – assuming, of course, that the real you’s not a douchebag.

Cause you never stumble for words with your friends – you just say what you think. The guys that screw up out and about are the guys that hide who and what they really are:

Her: Well, I have a terrier.
Him: Oh you have a dog. I love dogs. When did you get him? How big is he? How old is he? What do you feed him? Did you always have a dog? What colour is he? Where do you walk him? Um. What do feed him? Oh, I asked that?

Painful right? that was a real conversation. So was this one immediately afterward:

Me: Hi, I’m sorry, couldn’t help but overhear that you have a dog. I love dogs.
Her: (bored) Really?
Me: Especially with a twist of lemon and some salt and pepper. Then I like to finish off with a whole wheat donut. (noticing her face) What? Whole wheat donuts are great. Y’know what else’s great? Rum…

In a related note, Heartgirl’s sister thinks I’m gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Heartgirl says it’s cause I talk so much with my hands, use words like “lovely,” don’t play sports and am unabashedly nerdy. But it’s who I am.

It’s a suckers game to pretend to be someone you’re not. Y’can never keep it up. If you watch the vid, here’s the thing – everything she’s saying is true. It’s that honesty that makes it so entertaining, funny and compelling.

———-

The Game is recommended reading:

  • for guys, mainly cause you gotta think, if this dweeby, skinny, bald dude can ask anyone out…
  • for girls, mainly cause you should know what’s out there.

Location: at the rents
Mood: productive
Music: What I am is what I am, are you what you are or what?

Categories
personal

This time

Just off Times Square

 

Saw Gio tonight off Times Square. It was a networking thingy and they had some good rum. Probably not a good idea since I went fencing afterward.
The weird thing is that it was across the street from my old pad. Hadn’t been there in a while. Ayn Rand wrote of NYC in The Fountainhead:

I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York’s skyline….When I see the city from my window – no, I don’t feel how small I am – but I feel that if a war came to threaten this, I would throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body.

You know when you love someone, you’d end anyone that’d do them harm? It’s like that.

Wish I could put it in my pocket and pull it out to show you Nino’s where I had the best Penne with Vodka Sauce, or the Algonquin Hotel where I’d wish I had dough or the chops to sit at the Vicious Circle, or my corner on 46th and 6th Avenue, where I’d sneak a cigarette at 3AM when I couldn’t sleep and wait for the sun to come up. Or my office at 1500 Broadway where I’d look out and see TRL being recorded with those freakin kids screaming.

OK, that I got a picture of.

Feel so damn nostalgic. Wanted to talk to Heartgirl about it but she was busy. S’ok, I’m hoping we have plenty of time to talk about these kinda things.

Speaking of Heartgirl, she doesn’t wanna show up here. So I won’t write of her anymore. Maybe she’ll change her mind but don’t think so. Cause she thinks that this is a blog about me being a womanizer – but that’s just the marketing message.

Me: It’s not. (pause) The truth is, it’s the story of a boy like me looking for a girlie like you. (thinking) And hoping, I mean really, really hoping, that this time, it’ll be different.

Location: wide-awake in my pad
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I wish I knew the time that I’ve taken I pray is not wasted