Tag: good things

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personal

Don’t stop believin’

You did a great job

Remember last year when the kid played Hotel California for his school’s talent show?

Welp, this year, he played a cover of Don’t Stop Believin’.

Thought you might like to hear it.

I’m super proud of him – he did a lot of hard work to prep for it.

While there were alotta talented kids, I honestly thought he did the best job – and I think the organizers did too as he was second to last, before the group skit that ended it all.

His grandmother, Alison’s mom, also came in and sat for three hours watching other acts just to support him.

And the Firecracker came as well.

Three hours is a long time to sit on hard auditorium seats to listen to a buncha kids perform while waiting for your one four-minute act to play.

Firecracker: Man, you owe me – I’ve been to seven of his events and shows.
Me: God, that is so true…

Afterward, I took them all out to eat along with another family that had a kid play in the show.

I think that Alison would be so thrilled with and proud of what her kid can do.

I certainly am.

We couldn’t have asked for a better kid, honestly.

That is also so true.

Him: Did I do a good job?
Me: Nah, kid. You did a great job. Papa’s so proud of you.
Him: Yay!

Location: home, with a sick kid
Mood: busy
Music: Some are born to sing (Spotify)
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St. Paddy’s with Indian and Irish-American food

A weekend of food and trains

ABFF: Hey last min but any chance you guys could do dinner this Fri or Sat?

It’s been a busy week or so for the kid and me – well, it was a busy weekend of food, at least.

We started off by heading to ABFF’s for dinner with her kids, my kid, the Firecracker, and some of the ABFF’s friends.

The adults basically just chatted while the kids were up to something.

We’d been on an Indian kick lately, so we all had that.

A few days later, I made some corned beef and cabbage for St. Paddy’s Day.

Then we went to my SIL to swim at her pad again.

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid had a grand time.

With us taking the light rail…

…and PATH afterward, which both boys got a kick outta.

As for me, I liked the rando artwork everywhere in Jersey City and Hoboken.

Me: Did you have a fun time?
Him: Yes! Can we do it all again next week?
Me: (laughing) It’s not really up to me, but I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do, yeah?
Him: Yeah!

Location: home, working on the garden
Mood: proud of the kid – I’ll tell you why later
Music: She took the midnight train going anywhere (Spotify)
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Memory Lane

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

After the Firecracker and I came back from her surprise shower, we then dashed off to our local dive bar – Malachy’s – and met up with my old roomie, Buckley.

We actually lived in the same dorm waaaaaay back in 1991 (!) and kept in touch after I left.

When he moved into the city, he and I became roomies and, after a few years, he and I bought our apartment together.

I remember that my dad had questions.

Dad: You…and Buckley…are buying an apartment? Together?
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Well…is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Me: (puzzled) No, why? (thinking) OMG! No, we’re just friends. And poor. We’re poor friends. We can’t afford a place alone, so we need to pool our money together.
Him: Oh…
Me: (quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just poor.

This is us in 1998, right before we bought the place.

I dunno what we were thinking with those sweaters or my goatee.

In any case, we met up at Malachy’s because that and Big Nick’s – which is where the main picture was taken – were the two greasy spoon dives that we always went to.

It’s weird. He looks like him just…older. And I’m the same.

We were literally kids when we met – like 17. And now his son is not that far off from the age when we first met.

Rain Noe, Logan Lo

And I’ve been chatting with Rain a lot these days.

He’s just dealing with some real estate issues and that’s kinda what I do.

That’s a pic of us back in 1998 downtown. I think at a joint called Stingy Lulu‘s (or Yaffa Cafe).

Big Nick’s is long gone – it closed back in 2013 and I wrote about it. I remember chatting with Alison about it.

Stingy Lulu’s has been gone for decades – as has Yaffa Cafe.

The thing about being 51 in 2025 is that I don’t really have any pictures or videos of some of the most seminal moments of my life.

This was a little bit after he moved out and Alison moved in.

Because, back then, cameras were crappy and usually just film or – in my case – crappy digital.

Did you know that your memories aren’t replayed, they’re reconstructed each and every time you remember them?

That means that every time you remember thing, there’s a (high) chance you’ll alter that memory a bit and those alterations keep piling up until you can’t trust your own memories anymore?

And that’s why I wish I had better pictures/videos to remember my possible pasts with.

Luckily, I have my friends to help me remember those memories.

Me: He was a quant at Long Term Capital, right?
Him: No, he was a programmer – he was on his way to being a quant when it imploded.
Me: Gotcha – I didn’t know that.

Unfortunately, I don’t have Alison here to remember the memories that mattered the very most to me.

Ah, fuck…

This is what my room looked like when it was just me and Buckley – two bachelors in the city.
A dragonfly from this entry in 2008. I have questions about that day but no one to ask.

Location: this morning, looking up therapists for various reasons
Mood: messy
Music: saw my life in a strangers face and it was mine (Spotify)
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Surprising her again, but not by me

The Firecracker had a surprise party the other day

Amazingly, the very next day after I wrote the previous entry about my fixing my server hack, it got hacked again in the morning.

Super annoying, but, luckily, most of the site was pretty barebones by then so we were able to patch that part pretty quickly.

Let’s see how long this lasts.

On another topic, entirely, the Firecracker had to go to a “conference” the other day.

It turns out that it was all a sham – but the good kind.

See, her coworkers had to think of a reason to get her to come up for a surprise party thrown by her coworkers to celebrate her engagement to me.

Me: I get that. You *are* pretty lucky to have me.
Her: (rolls eyes)

She was super touched by the gesture and hit me up to swing by.

Her: My coworkers are the best! Come on by, we’ll be here a bit.

While I feel that I’m always crashing her office events, she said it was fine, so I headed up.

Everyone, like always, was super sweet.

They had hors d’oeuvres, champagne, sandwiches, salads, and a ton of desserts…

…including some homemade cupcakes to boot.

They played some games…

…and also handed out prizes.

I won a scrunchie, as did she. 

Considering my quantity of hair, I’ll most likely give her mine.

We ate our fill and then headed home because later on that night, I was supposed to meet up with my old college roomie and buddy, Buckley.

I’ll tell you about that in the next entry.

Her: Five? You ate FIVE sandwiches?
Me: Well, no one else was eating them, so…
Her: What do you have, a hollow leg?
Me: In my defense, I only ate like half the bread.

Location: the basement, cleaning out a ton of brick dust from alla the previous work
Mood: busy and beat
Music: No, you’re not late to the party, don’t worry there’s still time (Spotify)
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Not a Millennial

Six?!

Met up with Kung and my buddy Brando for lunch the other day.

The last time I ate with both of them, I was a complete mess as Alison had just died and I was doing whatever I could to stay sane and alive.

This time around, enough time had passed that I was able to just chill out and joke with them.

Me: Is there light beer happening at the dumpling joint?
Him: There better be!

While Kung is Chinese, Brando is Australian, which is a country that has the most Chinese in the world, outside of Asia.

This is relevant because they wanted soup dumplings for lunch and Brando suggested this one joint near his gym.

Me: Kung, as the only other true dumpling connoisseur of the group, do you agree? 
Brando: He LOVED the dumplings.
Me: Kung, don’t let the white man unduly influence you; what did you think?
Brando: How dare you assume I am not an expert in soup dumplings? It’s because I’m white, isn’t it?
Kung: Legit!

So, I went to their gym first and rolled around on the mats for the first time in ages and then we made it to the restaurant where we ordered six trays of soup dumplings.

Waiter: SIX? (holds up his hands with six fingers) Six?
Me: (nodding) Six. We’re hungry.
Brando: And we need some garlic bok choi.
Me: That too.

Another buddy was supposed to eat with us, but he’s got this insanely demanding job and literally had to fly out to another state last minute, a few hours before we were supposed to meet up.

Him: Hey boys, so sorry I missed lunch the other day I severely underestimated what [my bosses needed me to do]. I haven’t seen daylight since Thursday morning!

Him: Are you really gonna take a picture of your food? What are you, a Millennial?
Me: Clearly not. (shrugging) I just like taking pics of food for myself.

It was nice seeing them; we met some 15-20 years ago and we’re still friends even now.

The older I get, the more I value the people that chose to stick around.

Location: home with the boy and dealing with literal growing pains
Mood: concerned
Music: I was bad now I’m better (Spotify)
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Writing from the future

…and you’re doing ok

The kid’s trying out for another talent show this year – I think he’ll make it, but you never know.

He’s already got a song picked out, which is a rock classic; I’ll post it after he does the show if he makes it in.

I try to show him all the songs that were meaningful to me when I was a kid because I think those songs stay with you in special ways.

A more modern song that I’ve been listening to is one called Dear Me by a fella named Eric Hutchinson.

I think I’ll play it for the kid one of these days, soon.

Whenever I hear it, I think of alla these different versions of me that are as real and immediate to me as if I were still them.

That’s a whole entry in-and-of-itself.

In the meantime, here’s the song, give it a go?

Dear me, you’ll be older one day
I’m writing from the future and you’re doing ok
I said now, dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change, but change is better than you thought
Dear me
I know you’re scared as hell of everything right now
But don’t get lost and where you’re going
Dear me
You’re gonna fall in love with the girl that you live next door to
And you have no real way of knowing
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
But I know you’re trying
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
But you’re multiplying
Dear me, you’ll be older one day
I’m writing from the future and you’re doing ok
I said now dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change, but change is better than you thought
Said you gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
You gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
Dear me
Don’t keep people in your life that treat you like crap
And don’t lose sleep over them either
Dear me
Never give up on the good that rests inside of you
And don’t believe the non-believers
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
But they will fall behind you
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
But they won’t define you
Dear me, you’ll be older one day
I’m writing from the future and you’re doing ok
I said now dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change but change is better than you thought
Said you gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
You gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
Take care of family and the ones you love
Put all your energy into human stuff
Staying young is hard to do
So, when life’s getting serious just don’t take it so serious.
I said dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change but change is better than you thought
Said you gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
You gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
Keep growing up, but don’t get old
Take care of what you can’t control
Respect the heart that you’re gonna break
Forgive mistakes that you will make
If I were you I would not care
But some old messes to beware
So you probably won’t listen to a word I say
You probably won’t listen to a word I say
You probably won’t listen to a word I say
You’re doing ok
Dear me.

Location: home, chatting with the Firecracker who’s stuck at the airport
Mood: nostalgic
Music: get yourself together (Spotify)
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Birthdays at Sappe

Not spicy at all

Met up with my college buddies the other night for Cappy and Gar’s birthday.

We’ve been getting together every February to celebrate Gar and Cappy’s birthday since…well, since a few years after we graduated college, way back in 1996 or so.

The first time I mentioned us meeting was back in 2007 in this entry.

Back then, everyone didn’t have a camera with them 24/7 and I also wasn’t sure how much of my life I’d be blogging about.

Some 18 years later, I’m obviously blogging a lot more.

This year, we met up at a joint called Sappe downtown.

Despite a massive snowstorm that night, the place was packed…

…the drinks were killer…

…as was the food.

What’s odd was that the single spiciest thing we ate was this strawberry fruit salad.

Think I ate the most, about six strawberries. And then I was done – my mouth was on fire.

This is saying a lot as about half the table was Korean and they’re no strangers to spicy food.

The rest of the food was spicy but not obscenely so.

Well…

Her: will you try it first? It looks good but I can’t handle much spice.
Me: Sure! (later) It’s not spicy at all.
Her: (takes bite, instant red face) OMG! Are you trying to kill me?? That’s soooooo spicy!
Me: What?! There’s no spice to it. (takes another bite and starts to cough) OMG…I just got a pepper. That is so spicy!
Her: I told you!

Also, chatted up a fella that was there with a whole crew of people celebrating their friend Eli’s 30th – they all wore the same shirt.

Eli has quality friends.

Afterward, we hit up a bar close to the restaurant…

…but had to bolt a bit early because the snow was seriously coming down.

All-in-all, it was a great night. Saw my friends and hung out with my girl.

Not a bad way to start off the new year.

Location: the dentist’s, telling him he’ll be ok
Mood: exhausted
Music: all I want – I promise that it’s not a lie – is to be your friend (Spotify)
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Another Love Cover

Japanese BBQ in the UWS

The kid had his second recital the other day and played Tom Odell’s Another Love.

This is him playing in his first, if you never saw it.

I’d never heard of the song before and there’s on expletive in the original, but he really wanted to play it and his music teacher felt it was a good choice.

So, I let him do it.

Think it turned out pretty well, actually.

Afterward, we ended up having dinner at the same joint that the Firecracker and I went to a year-and-a-half ago.

And, we ended up going with the same family we went with the last time, except that they also brought a family friend along – who just happened to be Japanese.

Me: (to my friend) You could have mentioned that she was Japanese! That’s like me bringing a Scottish person to McDonalds and calling it Scottish food.
Her: (laughing) It’s fine! Actually, this food is pretty good Japanese food.
Me: You’re being nice, but I’ll take it.

The woman actually spoke perfect English; I woulda thought she was from NYC if she didn’t say that she was originally from Tokyo and lived there still.

We got onto the topic of alla useless facts rattling around in my head.

Her: Like what?
Me: Well, I see you’re wearing a Columbia jacket. That company was founded by this German family that fled the Nazis and left behind their successful clothing company. When they got here, the found someone selling a clothing company, immediately bought it, and renamed it after the Columbia River.
Her: (laughing) How do you know all that?
Me: I have no idea.

This is true.

The vast majority of facts I know are (a) useless and (b) of completely unknown origins.

Somehow, these interesting stories stick around in my brain.

And now, maybe it’ll stick in yours?

Location: Early morning, upstairs, trying to replace a shower door
Mood: groggy
Music: Words, they always win, but I know I’ll lose (Spotify)
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Hot Pot and Seafood Around the Way

At the Mermaid Inn

It’s been brutally cold around here lately so, recently, we did what most Asian families traditionally did when it’s completely brick outside: We had hot pot.

It was good because we wanted to a dry run at home before we did it at my friends-around-the-way‘s pad, because one of their sons is both really into cooking and also really into hot pot so we said we’d head to theirs and have a little hot pot cookout.

On that note, they contacted us the other day because they wanted to take us out for our engagement as well.

Her: Can we take you and Firecracker out to celebrate?
Me: Hola! That’s such a generous offer – I feel like it’d be cheeky for me to accept. But we’re definitely still down to do hot pot by yours; let me check those dates with her and see what works best for everyone?
Her: Not cheeky!

So, the other day, we took them up on their offer and met them at a restaurant around us called The Mermaid Inn.

The restaurant had been a few blocks north of us, originally, and closed during COVID only to reopen at a bigger space closer to our pad.

It was a pretty fun evening where we discussed politics…

Me: I’m avoiding all news and probably will for the next four years.
Him: Smart.
Me: I figure half of America lives in complete ignorance so why shouldn’t I?

…real estate…

Her: You know, [at our summer home’s town] Dutch Schultz‘s farmhouse is up for sale.
Me: How much?
Her: $4.5 million?
Me: No kidding? I have that on me right now.

…and just life in general.

They ended up ordering dessert, as did the Firecracker – Key Lime Pie.

Her: You’re not getting anything?
Me: I’ll just share some of yours and I’ll get myself a White Russian.
Her: As dessert again?
Me: Yup, an alcoholic dessert. Can’t really go wrong there.

You really can’t.

Afterward, we went back to their place, met their new dog, and then checked out the outdoor space.

Her: You could have the reception for your wedding here!
Me: We might actually take you up on that!

I’ll keep you all posted.

Location: in front of my oven, re-seasoning a carbon steel pan
Mood: annoyed
Music: Words, they always win, but I know I’ll lose (Spotify)
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A Dog-Man

In the blink of an eye

I live just north of one of the few megaplexes left in New York City, which means that I have a chance to check out a lotta movie premiers – except that I’m not a huge movie theatre buff.

There’s something about being in a dark, loud, enclosed space that stresses me out.

So, I only go if there’s a particularly good reason to do so – like when the Firecracker and I got invited to the premier of Gladiator II.

But my sister told me about a premier for the first Dogman film, which is a super popular book series for kids.

So, I managed to snag four tickets for the kids, the Firecracker, and myself.

It also included a picture taken with the author, a signed copy of his latest book in hardcover, a drink, and popcorn.

It was pretty much a perfect event for the kids.

But not so much for me.

That is, until I had a chat with an old college friend that just happened to be in the neighborhood at the same time of the movie.

Him: Hey, I’m in the UWS around 6:30. Around and available for a meal?
Me: Ack, normally yes but I’m bringing the boys to a movie tonight, literally the first time ever. Raincheck?
Him: No worries, raincheck for sure – what movie?
Me: Dogman. Don’t even ask. I’m not thrilled about it.
Him: Oh, Dogman is good choice! Now that [my son] is 13 and having dinner with his friends, I’d give anything to watch a movie with him.
Me: Oh man, that’s a good point. Yeah, I should be better about things like this.
Him: Yeah. Never thought I’d say it – [they grow up in the] blink of an eye.

So, after the kid’s guitar lesson, I went to the local Japanese takeout restaurant, picked up some Karaage Onigiri and Spam Onigiri for everyone, and off we went.

It was a madhouse.

But organizers were really cool and great with alla the kids.

And the author was just a prince. He tooks pics with literally every single kid that asked…

…signed hundreds of books and even gave a little speech in the beginning of the film.

Although, one of the more interesting conversations was with one of the fellas managing the concession storage closet.

Him: …on Mondays. And then we get two more shipments that same week.
Me: You’re kidding me – you sell outta alla these every 2-3 days?
Him: Yup.
Me: This is a closet of diabetes.
Him: (laughs, nods)

The movie itself was tolerable for a 51-year-old Chinese man, but the kids absolutely loved it.

Highly recommended for them.

Like I said, it was the first movie I’d ever taken the kid to in a theatre.

Hopefully, he has some fond memories of it all.

Me: What was your favourite part?
Him: Everything!

Location: Grey’s Papaya, wondering if I should do it
Mood: regretting not having a hot dog
Music: You’re the movie in my mind to which I know every line (Spotify)
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