Like I said, the kid started school the other day.
Him: (the morning of) I’m a little scared. Me: Makes sense. But you’re always a little concerned about your first day of school and it’s always worked out ok, hasn’t it?
Him: I guess so? Me: (6.5 hours later) How was it?
Him: Great! My teacher is the nicest teacher, ever! Me: Ever?! Well, high praise. See, it all worked out.
The rest of it is his story to tell and he’s getting older so I’ll stop here.
But, because he was in school, I was able to dash down to midtown to grab lunch with the NFL Player and my buddy Thor.
Waitress: What would you like to drink? Me: Seeing it’s the middle of the day, how about a White Russian?
Him: Sensible.
It was nice seeing the fellas, whom I see a lot less these days, now that I’ve switched gyms.
Thor: I got this one. Me: Dammit, I shoulda ordered more alcohol.
Hopped the train back to the UWS with the NFL player and we caught up – he’s been doing really well at his gym and I, mine.
Also spoke to Thor a few days later as he had an issue that was troubling him but turned out to be just fine.
Him: Thanks good news on [that] front; [its] too long to put in text but main thing is that I’m ok! Me: YES! Here’s to good news whereever we find it. Him: Thanks for checking in Logan it means a lot man. Me: After all we’ve been through now? Of course!
The world’s a lot more manageable with good friends that are also good souls.
The kid started school the other day so, as a last hurrah – and because both my kid and the Firecracker’s kid love trains – we went on a train adventure the other day.
NJ Transit has been having alla these issues lately so, as a mea culpa, they offered free train rides all week last week.
Now, my kid was already at my in-laws so, bright and early one day, I went to get him.
But not before fueling up with some empty carbs.
Carbed-up, we hopped the train…
…transferred to another train, and then got off at Journal Square.
It was super cute, when he saw the Firecracker, he like RAN to give her a hug.
They both played at the playground for a bit…
…before we went in search of food.
We found this cool little joint called White Star and ordered a ton of food and drink.
We continued our train adventures by hopping the light rail to see my SIL.
Her: Can you help me bring a rug to my basement? Me: Sure!
It was a HUGE rug so I should really ask details before I agree to stuff.
Afterwards, she gave us a lift to the local pier…
…where the kids had more fun.
And then we walked through Hoboken…
…to get to Benny Tudino’s for one of their obnoxiously huge slices of pizza.
It was actually his second time there – I told you about the first time we went back in 2021.
Bellies full, and fully exhausted, we headed back home.
All-in-all, it was a good way to end out the summer.
Him: I’m a little worried about school. Me: You’re always a little worried about school. That’s normal. But, every year, it turns out ok, right? Him: I guess so. Me: You’ll be fine. You gotta trust me here.
My fave local dive bar put in a kitchen not that long ago – I think they did it over COVID, maybe?
But it really doesn’t offer much. Historically, it was a BYO food joint, with a ton of people, myself included, that used to order pizzas and stuff to the bar itself.
Well, the Firecracker wanted to hang out at a bar the other night, but she also wanted a banh mi while I was kinda in the mood for a gyro.
Me: I know! We can each get exactly what we want and bring it over to the dive bar. Her: That works for me as long as we get to sit outside and enjoy the weather. Me: Done!
So, we did just that.
Ended up sitting next to these three young British sailors that were in town until 3AM.
Me: Oh, fellas, you’re in the wrong bar. You should be at Tiki Chik or someplace like that. Her: Yeah, there are no women here, but there’s definitely gonna be girls there.
They appreciated the suggestion and left.
We were happy to have done a good deed and had a nice dinner with drinks for ourselves.
There’s a lot to be said for a simple life.
On that note, the kid just got back to start school.
I’m super excited but also a bit sad in that the years seem to be sprinting by.
If only I could keep him my little boy just a little bit longer.
Years ago, I was chatting with a female friend of mine and she said that she and her parents were having a bit of a disagreement.
Her parents wanted her to stop bringing by every guy she ever dated home.
Me: I would think they’d wanna meet who their daughter is dating. Her: They do. The issue is that they end up liking them and then they disappear and are never seen again. Me: Well, stop being such a tramp. Her: (laughing) Logan!
Me: I often look at couples and have a hard time figuring out if they’re dating or father-daughter. Her: I wonder if people look at us and think that. Me: With my youthful looks?! Her: I’m obviously joking since you’re Chinese and I’m not. Me: That PLUS my youthful looks, yeah? Her: OMG, how are you this vain? Me: Practice, really.
There’s this song I’ve been talking about with you for close to two decades now – Starsailor’s Good Souls.
We have our issues, of course, but even there, she’s uniquely kind.
For example, after a major fight we had, she bought a couples counseling session and followed up with an assignment for both of us to read: Talk to me like I’m someone you love, which is honestly a great book for any couple to read.
I mean, even that title alone would be an amazing thing to say in an argument – I know this because she has with me.
Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.
To love is not to look at one another: it is to look, together, in the same direction.
It’s surprising how much an old Chinese man from NYC and a much younger southern belle from North Carolina sees the world in the same way.
I suppose that is a great foundation for any good relationship.
Her: Do you love me? Me: Come on, I sweat you like a summer day. Her: I don’t know what that means. (thinking) I wish you’d say it sometimes. Me: (laughing) Sure thing, Firecracker. Of course I love you.
If you’ve never been, you should stop by – it’s part of the NYC Public Library System and free.
So, bright and early on Saturday morning, we went there.
There was almost no one around when we got there.
It was gorgeous – both the place and the weather.
But, unfortunately, we could only stay for a little over an hour because there was so much construction going on around there.
This is what it used to look like, ages ago.
We were planning to walk down to Koreatown to get some Korean fried chix, but we didn’t make it too far because we took a detour at West 37th Street to check out Reichenbach Hall, a beer garden.
We got a liter of hard cider to split between the two of us…
…and ordered some brats and a schnitzel.
It was perfect.
Afterward, we went back to the main library on West 42nd.
Me: When I was studying for the bar, I came here a few days and just spend the day studying here. Feels like a million years ago. Her: It’s gorgeous here!
I sat, roughly, where I sat some 28 years ago when I studied to pass the LSAT.
Afterward, we decided to try and walk home, which was good because we ran smack dab into a street fair.
Unfortunately, one of the pigeons took a liking to the Firecracker.
Her: I think it pooped on me. Me: Sorry, baby. (brightening) Wait, we should buy a lottery ticket!
So, we walked over to Columbus Circle, where she got cleaned up, and then we took the train home.
Another year and another May 24th to August 24th, done.
I think it’ll always be hard, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I’ll tell you why sometime but not today.
My brain and heart are tired.
Location: videochatting with the Professor, refusing to believe we’re in our 50s
Mood: better, thanks
Music: you and I will be alright (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Almost exactly 11 years ago, on August 6th, 2013, I went with Alison to a cafe a few blocks south of me called Pier 72.
We went there a couple of times but, really, hardly ever went there because it was a bit older than other joints in the area, but the food was good, the people nice, and the prices pretty cheap.
I don’t think we went there again after that; well, she didn’t, for reasons you already know.
I did because, when she was sick and losing all that weight from the chemo, she turned to me one day and said, randomly, “I could eat a patty melt.”
So, I asked her what that was and she told me.
Then I ran to Pier 72 because it was certain it would have it.
I was wrong.
Him: Sorry, we don’t sell that here. Me: Please. It looks like this (shows him a picture). My wife…she’s…sick. She hasn’t eaten in days and I’m worried she’ll die. I can pay whatever you’d like for it. Him: (gently) It looks like a cheeseburger on a sliced bread. I can do that for you. Me: Yes. Please. I mean, thank you. I’ll pay whatever you think is fair. Him: (shaking his head) It’s a cheeseburger on toast with onions. Just pay what we charge for a burger. Don’t worry about it. We’ll make it for her.
Went there a few times after that, always getting a patty melt and maybe a Reuben for me. Alison only ate a little each time.
It was a kindness I’d never forgotten. It was one of the only things Alison would agree to eat.
The kid’s been asking to go for ages, and I finally brought him the other day.
We couldn’t sit where Alison and I last sat when it was Pier 72 because that became the cream cheese display.
So, we sat across from it and I looked at the corner of where we sat, almost exactly 11 years earlier and I could hear her voice in my head.
Something about the fact that I was sitting there with her son but not her hurt me in ways I can’t fully express nor explain.
Then the boy’s voice cut through my thoughts.
Him: I love the everything bagel! Can we come back here again? Me: (distracted) Oh…sure. Of course. Him: What’s wrong? You look like you’re crying. Me: (clearing throat) Oh, it’s the summer. Allergies, you know… Him: I’m sorry you have allergies, papa. Me: It’s ok. I’m always ok when you’re around. Him: Yay! Me too!
But he had a quote on the topic that I’ve always liked that seems appropriate to this situation: The time is always right to do the right thing.
As we walked home, the kid talked to me about it all.
Him: They were really loud and scary. Why did you thank her? Me: Because she did the right thing in the end. Yes, she should have been quieter and yes, she shouldn’t have vaped in the first place. But when someone recognizes they did something wrong and try to fix what they did, you have to give them credit for that. Him: She was still really loud and scary. Me: (nodding) Yes. But she was trying to do the right thing in the end. And we always hope that, even if it takes a long time, ultimately, people do the right thing. Maybe next time, she’ll be even better.
Her: Just ketchup, please. Me: What? How about I put on mustard and onions? Her: No thanks, just ketchup. Me: Chili? Her: Nope. Just ketchup. Me: You know, according to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, if you’re over 18 years old, you shouldn’t be using ketchup. Her: I’m a lot younger than you and I’m doing it. Me: (grumble)
I gotta say, I agree with the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council; ketchup just makes everything taste like ketchup, which is exactly why I don’t like it and kids like it on everything.
Me: I secretly judge you. Her: (rolls eyes) It’s not that big a secret.
The kid finished up his camp this week and is going back to grandma’s for a few weeks before school.
He wanted to go and his grandma wanted to have him, so win-win there.
We had hoped to go to either Taiwan or another cruise this summer but changing gyms and some other expenses changed things for us.
But the Firecracker and I were chatting the other day and I came across a cruise for a cruise line that I’d never been on before and it left from Brooklyn.
We actually saw it the last time we were in Govenors Island, as well as the time we went to Red Hook.
Since it left from Brooklyn, the savings from not flying and having a hotel meant that it was in our budget, so we booked it.
Was gonna surprise the kid with it in a few weeks but I couldn’t contain my excitement, knowing how good a time he had the first time he went.
Me: Hey, I wanted to ask you: What was the best thing you and I ever did together? Him: Oh, that’s easy – the cruise. Why? Me: (smiling) Him: Wait, are we going on a cruise?! Me: (shrugging shoulders) Him: (eyes widening) ARE WE GOING ON ANOTHER CRUISE!? Me: (shrugging again) I dunno…mebe? Him: (loses his mind)
Mission accomplished.
I don’t think there are words that fully encapsulates the feeling when, as a parent, you get your kid precisely the thing they want the most.
He was on cloud nine all day.
And so was I.
Him: You’re the best papa ever! Me: Ha, you haven’t met them all but I’ll take it. And you’re the best kid.
In the red bag that my mom brought to me while I was in Flushing was my Junior High School yearbook, that my sister found and told her to get to me.
The reason I was thrilled to get it was for one reason and one reason alone – I wanted to figure out the name of my English teacher.
See, the most influential teacher I had was a Ms. Meltzer and for years I always meant to find her and let her know that, but life got in the way.
Plus, I had no idea what her first name was.
But with the yearbook, I immediately looked for her and was disappointed to find that it only had her first initial was “B” and that led me – well, really, the Firecracker to a search and we found “Binnie Meltzer’s” obituary.
I’m certain it was her.
It made me both happy and sad; happy in that I found her, in a manner of speaking, and – of course – sad that I was too late.
She died in 2006. A lifetime ago.
She was the first teacher that I was always happy to see and that made me think that I had any type of talent for anything at all.
If she was still alive, I woulda told her what a profound and positive influence she was on me – I write because she told me once that I was a good writer and I believed her.
That’s the power of a good teacher.
Goodnight, Ms. Meltzer.
You were an amazing teacher and human, and I’m forever grateful we met.
On a much more mundane note, because of alla my injuries, my sleep’s been crap lately, so the Firecracker suggested that I get some nature – well, as much nature as NYC provides.
To that end, we had a little picnic in Central Park near Sheep’s Meadow, which was pretty great, I gotta say.
Her: Honestly, this is all I really need. My person, a picnic, a park, and my pup. Me: I could do without onea those things. Her: Oh, stop…
Location: supermarket for tea, which I forgot to buy despite it being WHY I WENT IN THE FIRST PLACE
Mood: annoyed at myself
Music: I got an open mind so, tell me where you wanna go (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
So, early last Sunday, we piled into the subway and then hopped on a ferry there.
We met everyone at the docks and were on the island before we knew it.
After we disembarked, the Firecracker, the kid, and I went the wrong way and ended up at the wrong place.
The kid was less than enthused.
But we managed to get to the right place in time for food.
Him: They’re not ready yet. Me: I like my burgers rare to medium rare. I’m sure they’re good already. Him: Fine, here…
There was so much food.
Afterward, we went for a walk where I saw a building discussing the Billion Oyster Project here in NYC – something that I’m super interested in.
Unfortunately, I got a call from the kid on one of my friends’ phone – he’d gone bike riding with some of the other kids…
…but got separated yet still managed to find his way back.
Him: (upset) I’ve never been by myself for so long before. And on a bike! Me: Well, I hope you learned a lesson to stay with everyone and pay attention. Him: Are you mad at me? Me: I’m just glad you’re back safe. And I’m actually super impressed you found your back by yourself.
…and the Firecracker brought homemade keto chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.
Of course, I drowned my own fears into some grilled beef.
The truth is, while I am alarmed he was lost for a bit, I am impressed that he kept his wits about him and managed to find his way back.
Him: But I got lost. Me: Yes, but you made it back to someplace safe. For that, I’m very proud of you. Him: I was so scared. Me: (nodding) But you’re safe now.
After a bit, we packed up and headed home.
We all said our goodbyes at the pier…
…and the Firecracker, the kid, and I took our scooters up the Hudson River Greenway home.
Him: I was super scared. (thinking) But everyone was really nice. Me: Life is scary. It helps to have nice people around, yeah? Him: (nodding) Yeah.
