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Like a post-doctorate bagel

Welcome home, then

While the Firecracker and I had a pretty great time in Vienna, we were both happy to see our kids again.

It’s funny how much you miss someone after only a few days.

Me: I missed you.
Him: I missed you more!
Me: (laughing) Tenuous.

Donnie: How was Vienna?
Me: Oh, great! I ate my body weight in croissants.
Him: (laughing) Why croissants?
Me: (shrugging) They’re like educated bread.
Him: Ah, like a post-doctorate bagel.

Whenever I come back from Asia, the first thing I wanna have is something like a burger, a gyro, or some chili.

On the flip, whenever I go to someplace like Mexico or Europe, all I want when I’m back is some Asian food.

After eating nuthin but (delicious) European food, I was craving something Asian.

Me: What about some Chinese food?
Her: Taiwanese?
Me: Done!

So, as soon as we got back to the states, we immediately headed to Taiwan Pork Chop House, which is this absolute hole-in-the-wall joint in Manhattan’s Chinatown but the food is killer.

Me: (in Chinese) We just got back from Austria.
Waitress: (motioning to the Firecracker) Is she German?
Me: Nah, she’s an American. But, funnily enough, I speak German to people, and they respond to her in German.
Waitress: (laughs) Welcome back home, then.

Location: freezing downtown in the wintery rain
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrr
Music: don’t let me drag you down (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 6 – Marie Antoinette, Schönbrunn Palace, Fake Ruins, Home

Can’t tell you how disappointed I am

Her: You know what’s wild? The same time we were in the room where Marie Antoinette was born, my sister was in Paris in the room she was in right before she died.
Me: That *is* wild – and so sad to me for some reason.

The last day we were there, the Firecracker had us heading out to the Schönbrunn Palace, which was where the Hapsburgs summered.

Coincidentally, her sister was in Paris at the same time, leading to the conversation above.

Now the Firecracker just likes going to castles in general, but I was super jazzed to see the Roman ruins – more on that in a moment.

Beforehand, though, we enjoyed some of the Christmas market outside the castle before heading in.

Just like the Hofburg, it was opulent and impressive.

While there was a glass cutaway in the palace showing the Roman ruins, I wanted to see the more impressive ruins on the grounds…

…and they were super impressive…

Me: I’ve never seen such nicely kept ruins, ever!
Her: This is amazing!

…and super fake:

Me: Holy cow, I can’t tell you how disappointed I am.
Her: Man, that stinks!

To assuage somea that disappointment, we headed to the next town over in search of a traditional German joint that was less than 550 years old.

We stepped into the first nice place we saw and ordered a Diet Coke and another Radler…

…along with a traditional Weiner Schnitzel and Beef Goulash.

It was all pretty good but definitely not American-sized portions, so I was still pretty hungry afterward.

Her: You’re always hungry.
Me: This is true.

There was one last castle that the Firecracker wanted to check out before we left but, because I was still hungry, we hopped off the tram early to check out a bar right before it called Cafe Prinz.

Me: (to owner) Zwei bitte. Und gibt es Apfelstrudel und Wurst?
Owner: I’m sorry, do you speak English? My German isn’t so good.
Firecracker: (surprised) Are you American?
Owner: (shaking head) No, I’m from Czech Republic, moved to Canada decades ago, and was on my way back home to the Czech Republic when my friend convinced me to stop here in Vienna and we ended up buying this bar.

She was super nice, and we ended up taking a picture with her.

The Firecracker wrote some postcards for her parents, and I offered to drop them off at the post office for her.

It was “only” two blocks away but each one of these blocks were like three NYC avenues.

Firecracker: I thought you got lost!
Me: I didn’t but…man, they don’t fool around with the blocks here.

After we had some food and drink, we headed off to the last castle.

There was another Christmas Market there, so I ended up buying more Glühwein with this cool mug.

We ended up just enjoying the market for a bit before heading back.

The next morning, we took off for home.

It was pretty uneventful except for the fact that we had to board the plane from the tarmac…

…and the food was pretty atrocious.

Her: It’s not good.
Me: It tastes like they saw a picture of a pizza and decided to make it based on the picture.

We got back to the states and missed the train back into the city by just two minutes.

Her: Wait, the train’s delayed, we didn’t miss it after all.
Me: Awesome! Well, that’s a good way to end this trip.

And that’s our trip to Vienna.

Back to our usual nuthin in the next entry.

Location: home all day, after a night of drinking with Mr. Read
Mood: sober
Music: Even though I love the road, I’m missing home (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 5 – Opera House, Wiener Riesenrad, Griechenbeisl, and a Radler

I go where you go

The next morning, I had some brie and smoked salmon while she had the yoghurt she bought, along with several cups of coffee.

But it wasn’t enough and we ended up going to a tiny, non-descript cafe…

…where she finally got to have a pretty good rendition of a Sacher Torte.

Me: They’re generally a bit dry. Whaddya think?
Her: I liked it! The apricot jam really helped.

Stepping out, we noticed a building which had the same kidnapped photos/posters as we have in NYC, which was a somber reminder of the current state of the world.

Afterward, we headed off to the Opera House because she got us a 45-minute tour there.

Only found it somewhat interesting, but both the Firecracker and I really marveled in the history and beauty of the whole thing.

We essentially paid for the tour just to see the inside; the tour was very basic and 45 minutes was more than we needed for just seeing it.

Still, I was glad to have done it.

One of the only things that I really wanted to do was to visit the Prater amusement park and check out their iconic ferris wheel.

It was featured in onea my fave films, The Third Man, which actually starred my buddy’s grandfather.

Both the Firecracker and I wished that our kids were there to enjoy it.

Her: They would have loved this.
Me: When they’re older, we can bring them.

Afterward, we went to have dinner at a traditional Austria Bisel at the 550 year old (!) Griechenbeisl, which is a beisl, or a traditional German tavern with food and drink.

People that have eaten there includes Mark Twain, Beethoven, Mozart, Luciano Pavarotti, and Johnny Cash – so I figured we were in good company.

Getting there was fun – we felt like spies coming outta the cold war.

The name translates to “Greek Tavern,” but it had zero Greek food, just traditional German food, which is exactly what we wanted.

We ordered the traditional pork leg for two.

It was exactly what my belly wanted.

Oh, and there was another cool ceramic heater in the corner.

We both really enjoyed the drinks and the meal.

This was the aftermath.

We walked around for a bit afterward and ended up walking into this rando apartment building…

Her: Should we go in?
Me: No. But let’s do it anyway.

…checking out an underground furniture store…

…window shopping at above-ground luxury stores…

Me: I heard the Devil wears that.
Her: She does! I could never bring myself to spend that much on stuff like that, though.

…and, finally, hitting up another bar where we each had a radler/shandy.

Me: This was a super full second day.
Her: It was your idea to pack in everything today!
Me: True. We may have taken on too much. Should we head back?
Her: If you’re going back, I’m going back. I go where you go.

 

Location: a steamy swimming pool with the boy, who just got a certificate
Mood: argumentative
Music:  you feel like we’re on a Ferris Wheel (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 4 – Imperial Apartments, Tirolerhof Cafe, St. Stephens, and an Imbiss

Real Viennese Coffee

Now, we both really enjoyed the Albertina Museums and the Imperial Apartments – the latter being what the Firecracker was most looking forward to.

Do you see that big with ceramic thingy to the right of the secretary desk in the pic below?

Well, that’s a wood-fired ceramic stove for heat in the winter months.

Note that there’s no door for the wood. And that’s because it was fed from the wall side – essentially, servants were in the walls of the palace, tending to things like heat, hidden from the royal family.

You can see the outline of a hidden door above.

Pretty wild how the other half lived back then.

As for me, beside the Michelangelo exhibit, I enjoyed when we stumbled on this really cool modern art display in the lower levels of one of the museums.

After finishing up at the Albertina, we searched for more legal stimulants.

Her: We have got to have some real Viennese coffee, Lo.
Me: What about over there?

So, we finally got a chance to a proper sit-down meal at the Tirolerhof Cafe, which started in 1885, with a nice but brusque waiter.

We ordered a pot of coffee, a sammie, and a salad.

Fully charged up with caffeine and food, we set out back to explore the city.

Took this picture at night.

She had to use the bathroom so we ducked into a hotel.

Me: I think this is the actual Sacher Hotel, where they invented the Sacher Torte. (here’s the official recipe)
Her: This is too nice a place for me to try and use their facilities.

She ended up walking into another cafe and just pretended like she belonged.

It worked out well.

Afterward, we walked to St. Stephen’s Cathedral and stepped inside.

It was packed but worth the hustle and bustle.

We spent a good amount of time inside, marveling at everything, before heading back out to continue exploring everything.

Being New Yorkers, we decided to hop the subway there and explore other areas.

But I got hungry.

Me: I wanna go to an imbiss.
Her: What is that?
Me: (thinking) It’s kinda like a food truck, except without wheels.

She enjoyed her meal there.

We wrapped up the night by drinking alcohol on the streets…

…and going to underground public art noveau bathrooms.

I’m serious.

Afterward, we headed back to our home base when we came across a restaurant called Das Campus and decided to slip in and get some more food and drink.

We walked by an Aldi and decided to step in to buy stuff for brekkie the next day.

While there, I helped some Chinese tourists buy some yoghurt since the Firecracker wanted some as well.

Tourist: (in Chinese to friend) Does this look like yoghurt to you?
Me: (in Chinese) It’s yoghurt.
Her: Oh – thank you.
Me: Anytime!

All-in-all, it was a good second day in Vienna.

Location: wrote this sitting at Viennese cafe with the Firecracker
Mood: sleepy
Music: Lemme wake you up; you wanna come along? (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 3 – Starbucks, Anker, Ringstrasse, The Albertina

So many carbs

I finally managed to get some sleep that night, albeit in fits and starts.

But we woke up pretty early and immediately searched for some coffee. Just like our first night, we were just looking for a place to sit and have something familiar.

Me: So, our first cup of Viennese joe was at a McDonald’s and our second is gonna be at a Starbucks?
Her: Looks that way. Cm’on…

After we had a cup of coffee there, we had only walked a few feet when we came across what we figure is like their Pret, a chain called Anker.

Look, we were just severely undercaffeinated and needed quick and dirty coffee.

I was, however, very happy to have all the croissants we were having.

Her: I’ve never seen you eat so many carbs, ever.
Me: It’s a scientifically proven fact that carbs on vacation don’t count. If left to my own devices, I would shovel carbs in my mouth all day and night.
Her: Who are you!?

She noticed that, on one building, the supports for the balconies were actually carved statues.

In fact, she marveled at how beautiful all the buildings were there.

Even though we were pretty jet-lagged, because we had alla that coffee, we decided to have a pretty full day, starting off with hopping onto a trolley that circled the city.

See, Vienna used to have this massive wall keeping people outta the city – in fact, that wall changed the face of the world.

Without it, the dominant European religion woulda been Muslim and not Christian, but I suppose that’s an entry for another day.

We actually took Rick Steves’ Ringstrasse tour, which is a self-guided audio tour that was timed along the D and 1 trollies. That took about an hour and gave us a good overview of the city.

Anywho, after we got the lay of the land, we decided to head to the Hofburg, or Imperial, Palace.

Previously, it was home of the royal family, but it’s now the seat of government for Austria as well as different museums, including the Imperial Apartments and the Sisi Museum.

We arrived just as a huge batch of Japanese tourists showed up.

Her: And you thought you’d be the only Asian here.
Me: I could totally blend in and take that tour.

Of course, I had to rep Scenic Fights…

This wasn’t taken at the Hofburg but at the Albertina (I had a pic from the Hofburg but I used it here).

…while she took some obligatory selfies.

There was a good amount of pomp and circumstance around the palace…

…but we decided to head to another palace altogether.

To that end, we headed to the Albertina museums, which I mentioned earlier.

We managed to stay on track, despite my best efforts…

Me: Look, we can go to a Burger King here too.
Her: Absolutely not! We need some authentic Viennese coffee at a real cafe. Let’s go to the Albertina first.

The Albertina museums (Vienna & the Modern) are the largest museums for modern art in Central Europe but their original role was that of royal residences.

Now, she had bought tickets to a tour of the palace at large, but we were mainly interested in the Royal apartments.

But this entry’s getting super long, so I suppose I’ll finish it in the next one.

Location: back in the states and eating my weight in Chinese food
Mood: busy, busy, busy
Music: I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 2 – MickyD’s, Christmas Market, and Glühwein

Here’s that pic I promised you

Now, mind you that I’d slept less than two hours for the past 36 hours, so I was desperate for some legal stimulants.

So, we immediately hopped one of their super reliable – and legit adorbs – trolleys heading to the city center and searched for some coffee.

Look at that line – it wasn’t even noon yet.

To wit, we tried to hit up a classic Viennese cafe, but they were all closed where we were, or the lines were super long.

Her: Look, there’s a McDonalds.
Me: I don’t want our first cup of coffee in Vienna to come from a MickyD’s.
Her: We just need caffeine. You definitely do.
Me: (sighing) Fair. OK.

So, we did just that. Gotta say, it was the nicest McD coffee experience I’ve ever had.

Real glasses, plates, and tableware.

She was right, that coffee really woke up me up, so we headed off to the Christmas Market at the City Hall.

I’d gone to several in Nuremburg and Cologne in my past life, but this was her first.

If you’ve never been to a German/Austrian/Swiss Christmas Market in your life, it’s worth the trip to do it. They’re really awesome.

There are all these cute little stands selling whatnot…

…but for my money, the Glühwein – which is mulled wine – and the accompanying mugs are the best things about the market.

For one, they smell amazeballs. Plus, when you get one, it warms you up and tastes as good as it smells.

When you buy one, they also take money for the mug, which you can keep or return to get back the money you spent.

So, the very first thing we did upon arriving at the market was to buy some glühwein and some food – bratwursts, of course.

Her: We’re in Vienna! Can you believe it?
Me: Crazy, right?

She wanted ketchup on it, but I held my nose and ate it nevertheless.

It was still a treat enjoying it, albeit not exactly like the locals would.

The lines were pretty long for all the good stuff.

There’s a pretty famous restaurant by the city hall called the Wiener Rathauskeller but it was closed when we were there.

Unfortunately, we didn’t last too much longer as our jet lag got the better of us, and we headed back to her friend’s pad to crash.

I’ll tell you more in the next entry.

Years ago, I told you that my buddy Tiffany sent me a mug alla way from Germany.

Told you that I’d take a pic of that mug and never did.

It’s 15 years late, but here it is:

Location: a BJJ gym in the UWS, watching the boy tackle another boy and feeling oh-so-proud
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Music: It’s alright, you can afford to lose a day or two (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Vienna 2023 Pt 1 – New Jersey, New York, Frankfurt, and Vienna

An Italian lunch, airplane food, and two shots

Hopped the train into the city within a few hours of my waking up in New Jersey and had a pretty uneventful trip into Penn Station where I met up with the Firecracker.

Her: We’re going to Vienna!
Me: Yes, yes we are. You know, I’ve taken this red suitcase with me all over the world since 1999. It’s almost a quarter-of-century old.
Her: Well, you are 50.

We took the LIRR to the AirTrain and then made our way to Terminal 7 where we searched for Condor airlines.

Her: Where is this place?
Me: You got me.

Turns out that it was tucked away in the corner, and we missed it.

Once we got everything settled away, we sat down to enjoy the lunch that my mother-in-law made for us.

Her: That was so nice of her!
Me: Shoot, it looked great earlier – I musta jostled it too much getting it here.
Her: Oh, that’s fine, I’m just happy we have it.

I didn’t think we’d finish the whole thing, but I need to believe in myself more.

Bellies full, we stood in line for security.

Me: This is such a short line, we’ll be at the gate in 15 minutes.
Her: Wait, it wraps around into a whole ‘nother room.
Me: (45 minutes later) I’m sure we’ll make our flight.
Her: (putting hand above her head) My anxiety is here.

Luckily, we made our flight and were pretty pleased with the cleanliness and modernity of the airplane.

The enormous CONDOR sign in the middle of the plane was an interesting touch.

The Firecracker konked out immediately and slept pretty much the entire way to Frankfurt while I was wide awake, but tired enough that I wasn’t productive at all.

The food was 100% carbs – pasta, a roll, and dessert – so I didn’t eat a thing.

Thank goodness my MIL made us lunch earlier, but I was still starving.

Some 10 hours later, we transferred in Frankfurt – the main pic is of me in the Frankfurt airport. I’d been there ages ago with the German girl.

Me: Man, it’s been like…21 years since I was last here.
Her: (laughs) I was barely a teenager then.

At the airport, I immediately bought two shots and chugged them, but to no avail – I still couldn’t fall asleep.

The Firecracker, however, immediately passed out. Of course.

Soon, it was time to board our next plane and, just a couplea hours later, we arrived in Vienna with her feeling pretty good and me feeling like dirt.

We made our way to her friend’s pad right outside the main train station of Vienna, the Hauptbahnhof Wien, so it was a quick 17-minute trip there, and then another 10-minute walk in the dark.

Her friend taped her key to her neighbor’s mailbox, so the Firecracker reached in and pulled it out.

Soon, we were in in her friend’s apartment; the Firecracker wanted to shower, and I just wanted to nap.

She managed to shower but I still couldn’t sleep.

We arrived on the last day of the Vienna Christmas Market and she’d never been to one in Europe before so we bought an unlimited ticket for the week and hopped the tram right into the city center.

This lady named Nena once said something like, Some where, in foreign cities, in the nighttime, you dream of past parties.

That’s true, or at least, you dream of your possible pasts.

I’ll tell you all about the Christmas market and such in the next entry.

Location: back in the states and eating my weight in Chinese food
Mood: busy, busy, busy
Music: Irgendwo in fremden Städten träumst do von vergang’nen Feten In der Nacht (Spotify)
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Happy New Year, 2024!

Wrestling with Angels

Was planning on writing this whole entry about my trip to Vienna but I thought I’d take a little sidetrack to wish you all a Happy New Year.

The Firecracker and I went to the Albertina Museum and saw the Michelangelo and Beyond exhibit and saw a whole buncha things that I could tell you about.

But the thing that stuck with me was the sculpture called The Wrestlers, which is actually not by Michelangelo but by an unknown Roman sculptor.

This is actually a copy but still…

The interesting thing about this sculpture is that it’s a pretty common move even today called the “cross-body ride,” and the top wrestler would probably move to a position called a twister or a guillotine.

You can see a ton of modern examples of this on YouTube.

Now, a decade ago, I wrote about Jacob wrestling the angel and, just like that wrestling move, a lotta what I wrote there is still applicable now.

I find wrestling such an interesting activity because – like the dumpling – every nation has its own version.

Because it’s such a human thing to do; it’s a hallmark of our very species.

Not just literally but figuratively as well. I think I’ve spent the last several years wrestling with my demons and still do.

Woulda been a lot more impressed with this sculpture if the artist put in cauliflower ears like the Greek Boxer of the Quirinal.

Still, we all wrestle with our fate and hope to overcome. One day we’ll be overcome ourselves.

I’m 50 now and I’ll be 51 in 2024.

Dunno how much longer I can actually wassle. But I hope that I’ma scuffle and struggle until I’m breathless and weak – both literally and figuratively.

Hope you do as well.

Here’s to the new year, everyone!

Location: yesterday, at a Viennese cafe with the Firecracker
Mood: missing the boy
Music: In the locust wind comes a rattle and hum; Jacob wrestled the angel and the angel was overcome (Spotify)
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Christmas 2023

Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza

The very next day, the kid and I hopped a train to NJ to see my in-laws.

Just like every year, we spend Christmas Eve into Christmas with them – and this year, my sister-in-law was there as well.

Me: Oh, I didn’t know she was coming – I haven’t seen her in ages.
MIL: Yeah, she’s coming early so she can see everyone.
Me: That’s great! It’ll be good to see her.

The kid was, of course, bouncing off the walls with excitement for the following day. But he did manage to settle down enough to have some dinner.

My sister-in-law came but forgot something at home, so I offered to run out and grab it for her since she was beat – I always like to drive when I can since I don’t do it that often anymore.

Afterward, we played some Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza, a card game we have at home but never got around to opening. It was a lot more fun than I had expected.

His dessert was some fresh, homemade cookies.

The next day, the kid got up early but had to wait until 9AM to open presents.

I gotta say that he was super patient, which is something I’m always happy for with him.

Him: (opening one particular gift) This is just what I wanted! How did he know?
Me: Santa? I suppose he knows all this stuff.

I know I won’t have much more time with him believing in Santa Claus so I’m gonna enjoy it while it lasts.

All my in-laws got me gifts, which I really appreciated – including my sister-in-law, who bought me some cannabis, knowing the issues I have with sleeping. It was very thoughtful of her.

I felt bad I didn’t get her anything but, in my defense, I didn’t know that she was coming. She didn’t mind at all, though.

Afterward, my mother-in-law packed me this awesome lunch because I had to run and catch a train.

Unlike last year, where I had to catch a train to fix a boiler, this time, I had to catch a train for much (much) better reasons.

Him: Do you have to go?
Me: I gotta run, kiddo. [The Firecracker’s] waiting for me at Penn Station.
Him: (nodding) OK, papa.
Me: I’ll call you when I can, ok?
Him: OK! Have fun in Vienna!

Location: a white room in Vienna with black framed walls, looking over the foggy city
Mood: caffeinated
Music: I’ll give it to someone special (Spotify)
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A traditional Chinese-American Christmas meal of Mexican food

Something different for everyone

The neighborhood’s been in full holiday swing this past month.

There were some carolers that were singing outside one of my usual supermarkets, which was a cool little things for the neighborhood.

The Firecracker’s sister and brother-in-law were supposed by with their kid again for a pre-Christmas dinner so we did a lotta planning, including for me to really spend some time in our local (tiny) Japanese food mart around the way.

Unfortunately, her brother-in-law got sick.

Firecracker: On no, now their kid’s sick.
Me: Oh man, that stinks. We should cancel getting together otherwise, everyone’s gonna have a miserable Christmas.
Her: Yeah, she thinks the same.

So, we ended up having some pretty quiet Christmas plans; the Firecracker really wanted to see some Christmas lights but I was beat and so were the kids.

She was definitely a good sport about not going but I convinced the boys and myself to rally and head out with her to see some lights in Lincoln Center that was activated by noise.

The kids liked it because they had a good reason to scream on the top of their lungs in the middle of Manhattan. And the Firecracker liked it because she just wanted to do something festive with alla us.

Afterwards, we decided to walk along Columbus home trying to figure out what to do.

We ultimately found a cozy little Mexican restaurant that had margaritas so we went there.

Me: Nothing like a traditional Chinese-American Christmas meal of Mexican food.

But, honestly, it was better than anything we coulda planned.

Afterward, because we all had other obligations for Christmas Day, we all exchanged gifts that night.

It was something different for everyone, which makes sense, because this whole thing is something different for everyone.

Location: a Christmas market
Mood: proud
Music: Next year all our troubles, will be out of sight (Spotify)
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