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Music Together

My Son’s First Recital

So many people did so many things for Alison, me, and the kid when she first got sick.

But there’s a story I don’t think I ever told you about which is this small little group called Music Together and this woman named Deanna DeCampos.

My memory is completely fuzzy during this time but she somehow heard about Alison and me and offered for me to take the kid there. I only went a few times because I was busy so with Alison but we had sitters that brought the kid there the whole time that Alison was sick.

It was such a godsend to have some place for him to go and be happy.

And when Alison died, they kept saying the kid should continue to come but, after a while, I felt I was taking advantage of their generosity so I eventually stopped but a huge part of the kid’s insane love of music is because of them.

Now, I’ve only ever shown his face once in this blog, and this is the second time. He’s the munchkin in the front – he was maybe just two years old here.

I honestly think that a major reason why the kid never felt the unbelievable sadness of what was going on with Alison was because of the joy of music that Music Together gave him.

So, if you’re in NYC and want to support a wonderful organization with some amazing instructors and have your kid love music as much as mine does, drop them a line.

I cannot recommend them highly enough.

Speaking of the kid’s love of music, he had his very first recital the other night with his guitar teacher.

He was the only kid that both played an instrument and sang a song at the same time.

I was am super proud.

He def needs to sing louder – but I was still a proud papa.

Afterward, I brought the Firecracker and both kids to that Irish pub because (a) I was in the mood for some good fish and chips and (b) I wanted to thank the bartender for finding my iPad and stuff.

Wrote about the bar a while ago.

He def needs to sing louder – but I was still a proud papa.

Got the kid a burger but the rest of us had some killer fish and chips – beer battered not breaded.

Alison always wanted him to learn the violin and I do my darndest to try to respect her wishes but I couldn’t imagine the thought of years of screeching before he got good.

Then again, he’s been a natural with music thanks to Music Together so maybe it wouldn’tve been that bad.

Him: Did you hear people singing the song when I was singing?!
Me: I did!
Him: That was so cool!
Me: It was. (turning and whispering to the Firecracker) Hopefully, he’ll wanna go to med school or law school, though.
Her: Oh, hush, Lo.

Location: at a swimming pool, writing this and trying not to get splashed.
Mood: proud
Music: Tell me why, ain’t nothin’ but a heartache (Spotify)
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NYC’s Holiday Nostalgia Ride

NYC Rocks

The next morning, I was getting the kid ready to go to his guitar lesson when I realized that I didn’t have my iPad…or even my bag.

Me: Shoot, I think I left it at one of the bars last night. I’ve gotta bring the kid to his guitar practice, can you ring up the bars and see if they found it?
Her: Oh no! OK, I’ll call them.

Actually managed to stop by the first bar to see if they had it but they didn’t. And the Firecracker said that the bartender for the second bar wouldn’t be in until after 6PM, so there wasn’t much to do but wait and hope.

So, after I dropped him off, I walked back with another parent when we saw these people queuing for a movie giveaway.

Me: Let’s check that out?
Him: Sure!

With that, I got the Firecracker both a tote and a hot chocolate, courtesy of the film, Poor Things.

Now, the thing about dating the Firecracker is that she’s all-in when it comes to holiday family activities. She has these annual traditions with her and her kid that she invites my kid and me to join.

Her: You should come, Lo. It’ll be like the trains you rode when you were a kid.
Me: (grumble)

Invariably, they’re something that I thought about bringing the kid to myself but never got around to doing.

Like The Holiday Train Show in the Bronx.

Well, turns out that there’s another holiday train thingy – her kid’s really into trains – that they would go on together, and that’s the Holiday Nostalgia Ride, where really archaic trains are taken outta storage and put back into service for a blast from the past.

So, after I picked up the kid from his guitar lesson, we dashed off to 145th Street to board the nostalgia train.

We arrived at the station with less than two minutes to spare and just made the train.

Gotta say, it was pretty cool.

The maps were the original old subway maps…

…as well as the old ads and old signs…

…even the old fans…

…and old wicker seats.

Now, while I found the whole thing pretty cool, one of the kids did not and had a meltdown during the trip.

The thing with dealing with her kid and my kid is that they both trade meltdowns – sometimes it’s my kid melting down, sometimes it’s hers.

Most of the time, it has something to do with the fact that they’ve both grown up as only kids and aren’t used to having to deal with another kid. Her kid is two years older than mine, so he’s had two additional years of not dealing with another kid to boot.

In any case, one of them had a meltdown this day so the rest of the night was less than ideal.

But then the next day, things were pretty much back to normal.

I suppose any relationship – adult or child – has to deal with some growing pains.

Here’s hoping we all work it out ok.

Oh, speaking of working out ok, I found my iPad!

The bartender at one of the bars I went to put it away for me.

Him: I looked inside and figured you’d come back for it.
Me: You figured right, thanks man! NYC rocks.
Him: (laughs)

Location: home, cleaning and avoiding the rain
Mood: year-end busy
Music: I want to get off and go home again (Spotify)
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Four events in one night

Tiny Tim was behind it all

Found myself going to three different places in one night the other night – four if you count one where I dropped the kid off.

It all started at Chelsea Piers; in NYC, if you’re pretty well-heeled, you can throw your kid a party there.

Now, there was a time when I mighta been onea those parents but life, being what it is, I’m definitely not anymore.

Having said that, the kid’s friends with a lotta people that are, so we went to our latest party there the other day.

Now, we’ve been to the gymnasium part, the ice-skating part, and the bowling part…

…but this was the first time that we got invited to the Lazer Tag part.

Well, the kid went to the Lazer Tag part, I just stayed at the bar.

Now, I brought my iPad because I figured I’d just duck out and catch up with some reading – which, let’s face it, is my idea of a good time.

But the other parents were cool and interesting, plus there was an open bar so I ended up just staying the whole time, eating…

…and chatting…

Him: Wait, you went to Stuyvesant and Cornell?
Me: I’m as surprised as you are.

…as well as drinking. Did I mention the open bar? I had two Moscow Mules and a beer.

The kid had a coke and a grand time. We both really enjoyed ourselves as well BUT we had to duck out because the kid had another party to go to – and so did I.

So, I brought him to a school event where he had MORE pizza and watched The Grinch while I dashed off to meet the Firecracker at an office party of hers that was, wildly, less than a block from my pad.

Me: Are you sure you didn’t have anything to do with the location of this party?
Her: Nope! Someone else picked the place and here we are.

This too was an open bar, and I was already three drinks in but opted for a fourth, this time a cider.

I ended up meeting one of her new co-workers who just picked up her marriage license and swung by with her fella.

Me: So, where are you from?
Him: China.
Me: My parents were from Taiwan so I’m guessing we’ll have to step outside and fight. I’ll need another drink first, though.

They were on their way to see a Chrismas Carol and he never saw it so the Firecracker and I teased him for a bit.

Me: OK, pro tip, there are a lotta explosions at the end.
Her: Oh, yes. Just plug your ears when the ghosts start appearing.
Me: It’s crazy when you find out that Tiny Tim was the mastermind behind the whole thing.

He was a really good sport and everyone was super nice.

They all left but the Firecracker and I had to get the kids.

Me: Well, we still have 30 minutes. Wanna grab another drink?
Her: With you? Sure!

So, we made our way to the Emerald Inn, which I told you about once before..

We ended up have some more drinks there before we had to leave to get our kids.

Somewhere along the line, I left my bag and iPad somewhere and that was a pain-in-the-neck adventure I’ll tell you all about next time.

Location: the Dakota Bar, having a drink at the Firecracker’s office party
Mood: tipsy
Music: Feeling Christmas all around and I’m trying to play it cool (Spotify)
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Popping over

A doctor’s visit and a magic show

Took the kid outta school the other day because we had to have his annual physical.

Me: I’m curious if you have an idea how tall he might be.
Her: Hmm, lemme see. (types into her computer) Well, it looks like he’ll be something between 5′ 6″ and 6′.
Me: (laughing) That’s a pretty broad range. His mom was 5′ 2″ or so and I’m 5′ 8″ so I’d be thrilled with 5′ 10″.
Her: (laughing also) It’s not an exact science. Hopefully, he will be.

The kid was pretty nervous about his flu shot but she said he could just do a nasal spray.

Him: Will it hurt?
Her: Nope! It’ll feel like a little water in your nose.
Him: OK!

The kid was thrilled that he didn’t have to have a shot. Well, he was kinda thrilled, at least.

Him: Wait, do I still get my double dessert?
Me: What? No, you didn’t get a shot.
Him: That’s not fair!
Me: Well, we could go and get a COVID booster shot and then you can get your double dessert.
Him: (sighing) Nevermind.
Me: Good choice, kid. Good choice.

So, we’re good for another year, I suppose.

Later on in the week, we got invited to go to the holiday party from the ginormous building next door to ours the other day that we normally do Halloween at, so off we went.

The Firecracker’s kid had never been there for Xmas and was excited to be there – my kid’s always excited to do fun things.

We got there just in time to see the magic act, which was pretty cool, I gotta say. For example, the man took a long, slender ballon about three feet long and swallowed it whole.

Her: Where did it go?!
Me: I honestly don’t think you wanna know.
Her: On no…
Me: (laughing) He’ll probably see it again in like 24 hours. Ideally, we won’t.

Afterward, we had dinner there and chatted with our neighbor friends.

Her: You know, he and his wife always say hi to me when they see me in the neighborhood.
Me: I have a lotta nice neighbors.
Her: So nice!

The kids had a grand time running around like maniacs and then playing with some friends they knew there from Halloween.

We had to leave early because it was still a school night I made sure to thank our hosts.

Me: Thanks for always inviting us!
Me: You’re our neighbors, of course.

Like I always say, thank goodness for the good souls.

Location: in front of 3 East 17th Street, remembering Paul, WM, Heartgirl, and my possible past
Mood: ruminative
Music: If it wasn’t for the good souls, life would not matter (Spotify)
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Just wear a hat

That doesn’t make any real sense

The mayor office announced congestion pricing the other day.

There were more cops than protestors but I suppose that’s a good thing.

At least everyone was dressed warmly – it’s been brick around here, lately.

If I told you that I opened up a can of coke and was shocked that no soda came out anywhere but the hole on top, you would think I was just being strange.

Obviously, if I opened a can of soda, the only place any soda would come out of would be the hole I created when I opened the can, yeah?

Conversely, if I didn’t open the can of soda, no soda would come out.

All this seems elementary, no?

But what if I said to you something like, “You should wear a hat because most of your body heat comes from your head?”

To me, it sounds precisely the same as if I said, “Most soda comes outta the can from the hole you made.”

Do you know why most of your body heat comes off your head when your head’s not covered?

Because: Your head’s not covered and the rest of your body is.

Like, if you go out into a wintery day, fully dressed, including gloves and boots – guess where most of your body heat would escape?

That’s right: Your head. Because it’s not covered and the rest of your body is.

So, it’s technically true that, “Most of your body heat comes from your head.”

But that’s super misleading.

It has the air of truth but only a little bit of actual truth to it.

It’s more accurate to say, “Heat’s gonna escape from your head because that’s the part of your body that’s not covered up.”

This has driven me mad for decades.

DECADES!

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Location: next door, having my third plate of shrimp and checking out heavy machinery
Mood: warm
Music: Baby, you can steal my sheets (Spotify)
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Slurping a norovirus

Three things

The kid’s been loving swimming lately – he just started doing the backstroke and it’s become his fave.

Probably because he can keep his face above water.

But, about a month ago, we had to skip his class – which we almost never do – because he got (what I thought was) food poisoning.

Long story short, had to buy him a completely new mattress and ran my washing machine three or four times before I finally crashed after 2AM on a school night.

Woulda been an all-nighter if not for the Firecracker’s help.

Fast-forward to this past weekend when I was supposed to do alla these things but ended up just staying in bed because I thought I ate something bad.

Me: I shouldn’tve had that can of Dr. Pepper.
Her: I don’t think Dr. Pepper’s gonna make you sick.
Me: Well, it had to have been something.

But I was only sick for about 35 hours. Now the Firecracker’s feeling rough.

Mentioned this to my mother-in-law.

MIL: Oh, it was probably the norovirus.
Me: Norovirus? What makes you think that?
Her: It’s all over the place here and popping up in NYC too.

Turns out, she’s not wrong.

The Firecracker’s still recovering, but after my – pretty gross – 36 hours, I really wanted to have some carbs.

Her: What do you want?
Me: Either pho or ramen.
Her: Oooh, I’d go for some ramen.

Because of my need to avoid carbs, the last time I had ramen in a restaurant was with my brother out in California – although I did make some myself a few years back.

So, we went to a joint that we’d walked by a few times but never went in – Zurutto.

I ordered some ramen for us, plus some dumplings for the kid.

While the kid was practicing his chopsticks…

Son: (growing frustrated with his chopsticks) This is impossible!
Me: Nonsense. Billions of people use chopsticks every day. You just gotta practice.

…the Firecracker and I just chatted.

Her: Ooooh, look those two are on a date.
Me: (whistling) Whoa, hopefully not their first date. Ramen’s tough as a first date spot.
Her: Oh, I know – I went on a first date at a ramen shop once.
Me: How’d it go?
Her: I spent the whole time trying not to slurp. But, of course, you kinda had to.

Found out later that zurutto means to slurp.

There, now you’ve learned three things:

  1. Zurutto means to slurp
  2. My son can do the backstroke
  3. The East Cost is lousy with norovirus

And you thought this was a blog about nuthin.


Location: getting the Firecracker some flowers and some Dr. Pepper on Broadway
Mood: well(ish)
Music: Things are easy when you’re big in Japan (Spotify)
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The Holiday Train Show

An adventure in the Bronx

Me: (making fun of her) Why would you want to have a purse that looks like that?
Her: You should be happy that I like weird quirky old things. (glaring) And I’m not talking about the purse!
Me: I’m not unaware. Thank you.

The other day, the four of us piled into a train to head to Harlem…

…and transferred to the MetroNorth to head up to the Bronx Botanical Garden.

See, for years, I’d been intending to take the kid to the Holiday Train Show there.

But something always came up, so we never got to go.

But the Firecracker had gone twice before and was game to go a third.

Her: It’s a tradition for us. You should come too.
Me: We’re there!

It was a pretty dismal day when we got there. But once we were inside, both kids were pretty joyed to be there.

My kid borrowed my camera phone and took so many videos and pictures that I took it back.

Him: But why?
Me: Because you’re focused more on taking pictures than seeing the exhibit.
Him: But you do that all the time.
Me: Not completely true, but I’ll take the pictures and video and you can focus on seeing everything.

The crazy thing about the structures is that they’re all made of plant materials – like leaves and bark and twigs to make the structure. Pretty impressive.

We were there for only about 90 minutes but, because the weather was so bad, the Firecracker told me that there were a lot less people than usual there.

That worked out fine for me, seeing as I hate crowds.

Afterwards, we dashed to the train so that we didn’t have to wait 30 minutes for the next one.

Him: Why are we running!?
Me: Gotta catch the train!
Him: OK! I can run fast!
Me: That’s my boy!

We made it with just a couplea minutes to spare.

Another nice family outing successfully accomplished.

Now, what to do with the millions of pictures of trains made outta plants in my phone?

Location: In the rain, getting my knives sharpened across the street
Mood: hurried
Music: The more I learn, the less I know about before (Spotify)
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His First Concert

We’ll see

There’s a band that my kid likes called Kidz Bop – really, it’s just random kids that sing clean covers of current and older pop songs.

While walking past the Beacon Theatre the other day, the kid noticed that they were gonna play in town this month.

Him: Can we go, can we go?!
Me: Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.
Him: PLEASE!?
Me: We’ll see.

 

I figured that I’d let the Firecracker be the deciding vote. If she and her kid didn’t wanna go, I wasn’t gonna go – the tickets were at least $120 each so it was a pricey gift for them.

Her: I’m not sure [my kid] will wanna go, BUT we can try.
Me: Really?
Her: Sure! This will be the first concert for both of them.

Considering how much fun they had on the Disney cruise – including the live music – I figured we’d be ok.

Once we made it into the theatre, the kid bounded up the steps. He was so excited.

We settled into our seats and I figured that we would have room to stretch out.

Her: Oh, no – this whole thing was sold out pretty quickly.
Me: You’re kidding me.
Her: Nope. Some people really love their kids.
Me: Seems that way.

She was right; the whole joint was packed – there wasn’t an empty seat in the house, including on the main Orchestra level, which I think was going for at least $400 a ticket.

Nuts.

Well, my kid was thrilled; her kid was pretty bored by the whole thing. He’s not really into music but he was definitely a good sport about it all.

But my kid was dancing and singing in the aisles – that’s him in the middle singing his little heart out.

Me? I was a little less enthused.

But, at the end of the day, he had a blast. And I think the Firecracker’s son, while not nearly as interested, enjoyed the next experience.

Him: Aw, why does it have to end?
Me: All good things must end.
Him: Is that true?
Me: Unfortunately, yes. But that’s a good thing, because it makes you value these kinda things.
Him: I guess. (thinking) Can we go again next year?
Me: We’ll see, kid. We’ll see.

Location: My kitchen, making turkey stock
Mood: busy
Music: Last Friday night, yeah, we danced on tabletops (Spotify)
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A Hidden Find

The Irish Hunger Memorial

Me: (hobbling home after a workout and groaning the whole time)
Her: You’re really selling this, “Look at me, I’m so young for 50” thing.
Me: I need a nap.

The Firecracker and I were trying to figure what we could do to entertain both kids when we decided to take a long bike/scooter ride down the West Side Greenway to Battery Park City.

We ended up at the Rockefeller Park Playground for a few hours where the kids had fun…

Me: (watching him start playing with some new kids) Man, this kid can be friends with anyone.
Her: That is impressive.

…and the Firecracker and I continued with some stupid human tricks.

Her: I want a cuppa coffee. Do you want some?
Me: It’s getting late. Can I just get some of yours?
Her: Fiiine.

Afterward, I ended up going to the coffee shop myself to use their restroom when I passed the Irish Hunger Memorial.

I’d read about it in Times a little while back and saw a quick little video on CBS Sunday Morning on it.

This isn’t it but you get the point.

I thought about Alison, who was fiercely proud of being both Irish and Italian, as well as the time I went to Boston and saw the Irish famine artwork there.

It was a quiet and peaceful place and, weirdly, it really does make you feel like you’re somewhere else. Now, I’ve never been to Ireland before but I can picture it looking similar.

Took this with my phone and it’s way overexposed. Sorry.

Sometimes, I wonder how Chinese and how American this kid will be. And will he have any interest in the Irish and Italian sides of himself?

I’d love for him to be able to speak Chinese, though. Unfortunately, my Chinese is so crappy, I avoid speaking Chinese to him but maybe I should just do it.

Although, at the end of the day, he’ll be whomever he’s supposed to be, I suppose.

Me: Are you listening to the Backstreet Boys?
Him: (stops singing) Yeah, I like this song.
Me: Where on earth do you find these songs?
Him: (shrugging) I dunno. (starts singing again)
Me: (shrugging also and join him)

 

Location: Two different supermarkets, trying to bake some pumpkin pies
Mood: fat
Music: Looking back on the things I’ve done, I was trying to be someone (Spotify)
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A night of stupid human tricks

Silver and Gold

Forgot to put up pictures of the cooked purple sweet potatoes (on the left) and the regular purple potatoes (on the right); the sweet potatoes tasted a bit mediciney while the purple regular potato tasted exactly like a regular potato.

I bought a bunch so I’ll keep messing around to see what I might be able to do with them.

The Frenchman invited us to his pad the other night for hot pot.

Me: We’re in! What should we bring?
Him: Awesome. Food-wise, I’m covered.
Me: I can bring an assortment of sticks and knives?

The Firecracker and I brought our respective kids as well, so it was a full house.

The Firecracker never had hot pot until this past summer with my college friends, so I told her that this was a Japanese version of it, which she was excited to try.

Now, the Frenchman is half Japanese so he did a bang-up job with everything, making a hot pot version of Chanko Nabe, which is a special type of Japanese soup that was designed for sumo wrestlers to gain weight.

Her: Wow, that looks so great!
Me: I’m particularly excited for alla the mushrooms.
Her: Me too!

The cool thing that no one realized was that it was the Frenchman’s birthday just a few days later so his wife Tess ended up turning it into a surprise birthday party – the Firecracker and I felt honored that we were invited.

Afterwards, we got to know some of his other guests – some of them, he’s known for over 25 years, which is pretty impressive.

Like that old poem: Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold.

They’re both in finance so their apartment’s view was full-on gorgeous.

The food was so amazing that we stuffed ourselves silly. At the very least, I did.

Now, I brought a six-pack of beer to go with dinner and the Firecracker brought a bottle of rose. However, considering that I drank five bottles of the six-pack and the Firecracker drank several glasses of wine, we essentially showed up with drinks for ourselves.

It also meant that, after several hours of eating and drinking, I started doing some stupid human tricks.

Now, the Frenchman is super athletic – we met in our gym, after all – and I mentioned that the ability to sit and stand without the use of one’s hands is an indicator of overall health and strength.

Well, we went one step further and did this drill I did in my 20s, which is sitting down, hugging your knees, shooting a foot out, holding that foot/ankle with your hand, and then standing up with one single leg, all while never allowing your held foot to touch the ground.

I had eaten – and drank – waaaaaay too much that night and kept falling down.

Me: Welp, honey, looks like this may be the first and last time we’re ever invited over.
Her: (laughs)

But the very next day, in the park with the Firecracker and our kids, I tried it again and was able to do it every single time – AND I have video proof of it.

I’m sure I’ll find ways to embarrass the boy even more as he gets older.

But more on that in another entry.

 

Location: earlier today, my kid’s gym, watching him get his first coloured belt
Mood: tired
Music: probably with that blonde girl who always made me doubt (Spotify)
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