Having some issues with some friends lately.
The problem with dealing with friends is that on one hand, y’can’t expect them to act as you do – they have their own life experiences and values – but on the other hand, there’s a baseline mirroring required for them to be your friend.
For the first friend, his basic understanding of what friendship is differs greatly from my understanding.
- His definition is: I have something you don’t want or need, but it is of value to me; here you go.
- My definition is: I have something you want or need, despite it being of value to me; here you go.
It’s been a historically one-sided friendship and I’m thinking that cutting my losses would be the smart way to go.
For my other friend, he’s a genuinely good fella. The issue’s that he hangs out with a buncha douchebags – usually of the female persuasion. In fact, he seems to be drawn to them.
Some of their recent escapades include: breaking a mutual friend’s funiture and then trying to hide it, getting drunk and sick at a house party then leaving without a thanks or offering to clean up, and thinking racist jokes are hysterical.
It’s that mirroring again. He doesn’t realize that people’re starting to think he’s a douchebag because he keeps company with douchebags.
When I was single, had a rule to never turn down an invite. But to follow that rule, y’gotta first get an invite.
When people think that you come with douchebag, those invites are far less likely to come in.