The first days after an ACL operation are no fun at all
Woke up and got a phone call from the hospital at 9AM asking why I wasn’t there yet.
Me: My operation is scheduled for 2:45 today. I’m looking at my confirmation now.
Her: We have you down at 11AM.
Me: You’re kidding me.
She was not.
After several other phone calls, I hurriedly got dressed and hobbled out the door. After a few minutes of trying to get a cab, ended up taking the subway there. Don’t really remember how I made it down the stairs.
After a few more missteps – literally and figuratively – ended up on the cutting table.
Anesthesiologist: So how did you get injured?
Me: The usual, I was talking back to the wife.
Him: (laughing) You’ve got to learn to do that while walking away.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up with my leg wrapped up like a burrito.
The operation was a success and the wife picked me up and took me home. At first it didn’t hurt at all but once the anesthesia wore off, the pain came on hard and fast.
Wasn’t ready for it.
It’s not the pain of where the injury happened. It’s the two holes that they had to drill into my leg to get to the injury plus the two holes they drilled into my bone to attach a replacement (cadaver) ACL that was killing me.
My buddy Cary had gone through this before and told me to just enjoy the pain meds and have a lotta cookie dough. I did as instructed but substituted ice cream for the cookie dough.
Spent the rest of the weekend trying to not be sick from the meds and trying to find a comfortable position. Both were unsuccessful.
I’m told that the first 36 hours are the worst so I’m hoping that’s true. I’ve got 12 more days in this ridiculous contraption around my leg.
No fun at all. Luckily my wife is made of awesome and she made life as comfortable as possible over the weekend. She even got me a donut that was not whole-wheat.
And my mom called me, which was funny, as always.
Her: What about the guy that hurt you? Are you going to sue him?
Me: No. He’s an idiot but I’m not going to sue someone for being an idiot.
Her: Oooooh, I want to punch him! I want to punch him on his nose.
It’s good having people on your side.
I’m posting my follow-up to 10 Tips on how to write a good Match, OK Cupid, or POF dating profile: Part 1 on Friday.
Also, I’m posting at noon from now on, just fyi.
And now, more drugs. At least there’s no oatmeal to go with my vicodin.