With alla the changes around here, the Firecracker noted that my curtains were looking a bit worn.
Alison had put them in, so they held some sentimental value for me. But I also realized that Alison was a pretty unsentimental person when it came to home economics.
Like, she definitely woulda tossed these a while ago if she were here so I relented and we took them down and the Firecracker hemmed some new ones in navy blue.
I like that she’s leaving her mark here in my world.
Afterward, we went off to see ABFF.
Her: Hey how are you guys? Let me know if a dinner could work for you guys this coming Sat? Me: Yup! Gyros? Fried Chix? Sushi? We just did pizza so maybe not that unless they’re dying for that? Her: They are telling me anything. Me: Halal guys?! Her: Looks good.
So, I packed everyone up and we went to see them.
On the way there to Halal Guys, I passed by a Popeyes.
Me: Man, I also want a chicken sammie. Her: I can get that while you get gyros so you can have both. Me: You’re the best, thanks!
We did just that.
It was nice seeing all the kids together again – they’d not seen each other since May or so I think.
The ABFF’s kids are super artistic; below is a balloon that one of them (or one of their friends, I’m not sure) drew of an elderly politician.
Son: Can I stay over and have a sleepover? Me: I dunno, you don’t have any clothes and… ABFF: He can if you’re ok with it. Him: CAN I?! Me: (laughing) As long as she’s ok with it, you can.
So, the kid stayed over (her kid was with his dad) and the Firecracker and I went home, bellies full, and did what all parents secretly wanna do when the kids are away…we crashed.
Even now, they’re pretty rare because people just got used to going without.
However, the rats in NYC may change alla that.
See, Mayor Adams is convinced that the garbage – fulla food – laying around for hours overnight in plastic bags is helping the insane surge in rats in NYC.
I think he may be onto something.
One of his major plans are to deal with the obscene garbage situation in the city by:
Standardizing garbage cans for everyone in the whole city – so everyone has to get cans that look like the ones below with a lid on them.
Making everyone separate out their compostable materials.
He’d never done one before but was game to tackle it.
Unfortunately, my sink was easily 40 years old, so the drain was rusted tight.
Took us two hours just to be able to remove it, which we did with a specialized tool.
Him: Man, once we had the right tool, it came right out. Me: I remember my buddy Buckley telling me once that nothing’s ever an issue if you have the right tool.
Since this was the first time he’d ever installed one, lots of things went wrong.
Like this arm was the wrong size and leaked everywhere.
Wally planned to be here to paint and install it for about four-to-five hours but ended up staying 10 hours and had to return two days later to finally fix everything.
BUT, I have a garbage disposal now in NYC!
I think I’m gonna start running tours to show it off with a reasonable $5 admission ticket.
I’ll let you know when I roll that out.
In the meanwhile, here’s a quick time-lapse video I shot of it in action.
It’s 1.25 horsepower, which is about 5X the power of an average garbage disposal, so it chews through most anything but I’m just using fruit peels and eggshells to keep the gross factor to a minimum.
If you don’t have one, definitely consider installing one!
Location: a NYC pad WITH garbage disposal and freshly painted doors and gates
Mood: accomplished
Music: I will try to fix you (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Man, did I have an annoying past coupla days – where to begin?
I have a metal gate, which leads to two blue metal doors that then lead to my apartment.
Used to paint them every few years but the last time I painted them was a decade ago in 2014 for reasons I’m sure you can guess.
All three were getting pretty worn and rusty so, I decided to paint them with the help of my buddy Wally.
He actually did the heavy lifting and took off the rust and some of the flaking paint and we both painted.
Initially, I just wanted to paint the clearly rusted and chipped areas.
To this end, I got paint mixed that matched the paint on my doors and gate.
This isn’t my pad, it was actually Teddy Roosevelt’s but that’s essentially the same as my pad.
Unfortunately, because of sunlight hitting different areas of the doors and gates, the colours were all off.
It looked worse after painting because all the colours were all slightly off – so then we had to paint EVERYTHING.
So, the small project went from two hours to…four days.
The Firecracker ended up having to help out for several hours across two days.
It gets worse though.
Teddy’s pad again – you can visit yourself when you come to NYC by heading to 28 East 20th Street, NYC.
While painting the gate, I had to remove the lock and I found out that two screws rusted through, which meant that that I had to manually remove them with pliers.
That took over an hour as I went a 1/4 turn each time for these 3.5 inch screws.
Then, when I brought them to the hardware store, the guy told me.
Him: Those are specialized screws. We don’t carry them here; you gotta go to a locksmith. Me: Goddammit.
So, off I went to find one but then he said.
Him: We don’t have these screws, you have to buy the whole lock again. Me: Goddammit! How much is that? Him: $80. Me: Jesus Christ!
Ended up buying it online for $45. For two screws.
It took two days to get to me, so we had to find different – and novel – ways to lock the gate for those two nights.
Because I was worried about the kid, didn’t sleep a wink.
Not my apartment nor my gate – just a pic of a street in NYC. But that is the type of garbage cans we’re required to have moving forward.
But wait…there’s more!
In the middle of alla this, Wally tried to install a garbage disposal for me AND – because I run the building – I also had to replace alla the garbage cans for the building.
Welp, the replacement garbage cans never arrived and Wally didn’t get it all right the first time (which is no real fault of his own) which meant that we ended up getting water everywhere and had to dismantle the whole thing.
The garbage and garbage disposal are much more involved stories, which I’ll save for the next entry, but it meant that for three days:
I had no locks on my door.
No working kitchen sink.
This meant that the kid and I had to eat out for every single meal for two days.
Paint and plumbing supplies everywhere.
Garbage and garbage bags everywhere.
No garbage cans for myself or anyone in my building.
To say that I was irritated is the same as saying that water’s wet.
I’ll wrap this up in the next entry.
I need a drink.
Location: early this morning, the courthouse, telling someone she’s an awful person for cutting the line
Mood: So. Irritated. Man.
Music: gonna build castles from the rubble (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Like I said, the kid started school the other day.
Him: (the morning of) I’m a little scared. Me: Makes sense. But you’re always a little concerned about your first day of school and it’s always worked out ok, hasn’t it?
Him: I guess so? Me: (6.5 hours later) How was it?
Him: Great! My teacher is the nicest teacher, ever! Me: Ever?! Well, high praise. See, it all worked out.
The rest of it is his story to tell and he’s getting older so I’ll stop here.
But, because he was in school, I was able to dash down to midtown to grab lunch with the NFL Player and my buddy Thor.
Waitress: What would you like to drink? Me: Seeing it’s the middle of the day, how about a White Russian?
Him: Sensible.
It was nice seeing the fellas, whom I see a lot less these days, now that I’ve switched gyms.
Thor: I got this one. Me: Dammit, I shoulda ordered more alcohol.
Hopped the train back to the UWS with the NFL player and we caught up – he’s been doing really well at his gym and I, mine.
Also spoke to Thor a few days later as he had an issue that was troubling him but turned out to be just fine.
Him: Thanks good news on [that] front; [its] too long to put in text but main thing is that I’m ok! Me: YES! Here’s to good news whereever we find it. Him: Thanks for checking in Logan it means a lot man. Me: After all we’ve been through now? Of course!
The world’s a lot more manageable with good friends that are also good souls.
The kid started school the other day so, as a last hurrah – and because both my kid and the Firecracker’s kid love trains – we went on a train adventure the other day.
NJ Transit has been having alla these issues lately so, as a mea culpa, they offered free train rides all week last week.
Now, my kid was already at my in-laws so, bright and early one day, I went to get him.
But not before fueling up with some empty carbs.
Carbed-up, we hopped the train…
…transferred to another train, and then got off at Journal Square.
It was super cute, when he saw the Firecracker, he like RAN to give her a hug.
They both played at the playground for a bit…
…before we went in search of food.
We found this cool little joint called White Star and ordered a ton of food and drink.
We continued our train adventures by hopping the light rail to see my SIL.
Her: Can you help me bring a rug to my basement? Me: Sure!
It was a HUGE rug so I should really ask details before I agree to stuff.
Afterwards, she gave us a lift to the local pier…
…where the kids had more fun.
And then we walked through Hoboken…
…to get to Benny Tudino’s for one of their obnoxiously huge slices of pizza.
It was actually his second time there – I told you about the first time we went back in 2021.
Bellies full, and fully exhausted, we headed back home.
All-in-all, it was a good way to end out the summer.
Him: I’m a little worried about school. Me: You’re always a little worried about school. That’s normal. But, every year, it turns out ok, right? Him: I guess so. Me: You’ll be fine. You gotta trust me here.
My kali class used to be a half-block from my pad for decades but then we moved it to my last gym.
After everything went down, we had to move our class again and, this time, the Frenchman did all the heavy lifting along with our buddy Prin and got us a new joint in Koreatown.
Even managed to get the Firecracker to take a few classes as well.
After every night class, they all end up heading to Koreatown to get some late-night fare.
We usually don’t join them but we did this past Friday just because the kids were starting school soon.
It’s also nice because they try and support Pak‘s mom at her restaurant, Noona Noodles – I’ve told you about it before, more than once.
After we left, I saw Pak’s mom, so I said hi and asked for a pic.
She was pretty adorbs because she flashed a big smile but then refused to allow for photos without fixing her makeup and hair a touch.
That’s one of the best things about living your whole life in the same small town; the people and places you know around the way that change but are still, somehow, somewhat ever the same.
My fave local dive bar put in a kitchen not that long ago – I think they did it over COVID, maybe?
But it really doesn’t offer much. Historically, it was a BYO food joint, with a ton of people, myself included, that used to order pizzas and stuff to the bar itself.
Well, the Firecracker wanted to hang out at a bar the other night, but she also wanted a banh mi while I was kinda in the mood for a gyro.
Me: I know! We can each get exactly what we want and bring it over to the dive bar. Her: That works for me as long as we get to sit outside and enjoy the weather. Me: Done!
So, we did just that.
Ended up sitting next to these three young British sailors that were in town until 3AM.
Me: Oh, fellas, you’re in the wrong bar. You should be at Tiki Chik or someplace like that. Her: Yeah, there are no women here, but there’s definitely gonna be girls there.
They appreciated the suggestion and left.
We were happy to have done a good deed and had a nice dinner with drinks for ourselves.
There’s a lot to be said for a simple life.
On that note, the kid just got back to start school.
I’m super excited but also a bit sad in that the years seem to be sprinting by.
If only I could keep him my little boy just a little bit longer.
Years ago, I was chatting with a female friend of mine and she said that she and her parents were having a bit of a disagreement.
Her parents wanted her to stop bringing by every guy she ever dated home.
Me: I would think they’d wanna meet who their daughter is dating. Her: They do. The issue is that they end up liking them and then they disappear and are never seen again. Me: Well, stop being such a tramp. Her: (laughing) Logan!
Me: I often look at couples and have a hard time figuring out if they’re dating or father-daughter. Her: I wonder if people look at us and think that. Me: With my youthful looks?! Her: I’m obviously joking since you’re Chinese and I’m not. Me: That PLUS my youthful looks, yeah? Her: OMG, how are you this vain? Me: Practice, really.
There’s this song I’ve been talking about with you for close to two decades now – Starsailor’s Good Souls.
We have our issues, of course, but even there, she’s uniquely kind.
For example, after a major fight we had, she bought a couples counseling session and followed up with an assignment for both of us to read: Talk to me like I’m someone you love, which is honestly a great book for any couple to read.
I mean, even that title alone would be an amazing thing to say in an argument – I know this because she has with me.
Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.
To love is not to look at one another: it is to look, together, in the same direction.
It’s surprising how much an old Chinese man from NYC and a much younger southern belle from North Carolina sees the world in the same way.
I suppose that is a great foundation for any good relationship.
Her: Do you love me? Me: Come on, I sweat you like a summer day. Her: I don’t know what that means. (thinking) I wish you’d say it sometimes. Me: (laughing) Sure thing, Firecracker. Of course I love you.
If you’ve never been, you should stop by – it’s part of the NYC Public Library System and free.
So, bright and early on Saturday morning, we went there.
There was almost no one around when we got there.
It was gorgeous – both the place and the weather.
But, unfortunately, we could only stay for a little over an hour because there was so much construction going on around there.
This is what it used to look like, ages ago.
We were planning to walk down to Koreatown to get some Korean fried chix, but we didn’t make it too far because we took a detour at West 37th Street to check out Reichenbach Hall, a beer garden.
We got a liter of hard cider to split between the two of us…
…and ordered some brats and a schnitzel.
It was perfect.
Afterward, we went back to the main library on West 42nd.
Me: When I was studying for the bar, I came here a few days and just spend the day studying here. Feels like a million years ago. Her: It’s gorgeous here!
I sat, roughly, where I sat some 28 years ago when I studied to pass the LSAT.
Afterward, we decided to try and walk home, which was good because we ran smack dab into a street fair.
Unfortunately, one of the pigeons took a liking to the Firecracker.
Her: I think it pooped on me. Me: Sorry, baby. (brightening) Wait, we should buy a lottery ticket!
So, we walked over to Columbus Circle, where she got cleaned up, and then we took the train home.
Another year and another May 24th to August 24th, done.
I think it’ll always be hard, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I’ll tell you why sometime but not today.
My brain and heart are tired.
Location: videochatting with the Professor, refusing to believe we’re in our 50s
Mood: better, thanks
Music: you and I will be alright (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
The other thing about my dad/family was something else that I also learned in Cornell: When I took my first Chinese language class, the teacher asked how to say “maternal grandmother” in Chinese.
I confidently said, “阿婆 (ā pó)” but was corrected, it was “外婆 (wàipó).”
I’d never heard of 外婆 (wàipó) before, we never used that term nor had I ever heard it before.
Me: I was so embarrassed that I got that wrong. Why didn’t we use the right way of saying it for [mom’s mom]? Father: Do you know what 外婆 means? It means “outside grandmother.” That’s what you call the wife’s mother because, in Chinese culture, the mother’s family and side doesn’t count – they’re outsiders and not really part of the family. That’s wrong, I think, and offensive. Your mom’s family is as much a part of our family as mine is.
For all my dad’s traditions and pressure, he was a decent and fair man and that story perfectly encapsulates him.
It was a simple but profound thing, which makes sense as he was both a simple and profound man.
And I think that a major reason the three of us – my sister, brother, and myself – have been so successful in life.
Moreso than the education and the accolates.
Because I suppose we always knew that, no matter what, our parents loved us and always would.
Yeah, if there’s one thing that I’d like to pass on from my dad to my own kid, it’s that.
My dad died August 24th, 2017, seven years ago this week.
I love him every bit right now as I did seven years ago and always will.
Even though, at times, I wonder if he knew.
Me: (angrily) Yeah, well, you wait. My kid is gonna be successful and happy. It won’t matter to me if he goes to an ivy league or not. Him: You’re threatening me with a happy and successful grandkid? (laughing) Go ahead. Because that’s exactly what I want too. When you’re a dad yourself, you’ll understand. I’m trying to keep you all safe.
And, of course, I totally care if he makes it into an ivy league or not.
Just maybe – maybe – not quite as much.
Did you know that no two tigers have the same stripes?
A tiger’s pattern is as unique as human fingerprints AND not only is a tiger’s fur striped, but its skin is also striped as well.
It has hidden beauties you wouldn’t know about while it was alive.
This also means that every tiger is different from every other tiger, despite all outward appearances.
My dad may have been Chinese, but he was so different in many ways and uniquely mine.
I wish he was still here.
But I suppose you already knew that.
The picture above is the day my parents met my son.
It’s one of only a handful of pictures I have with all three of them.
The main picture is another of the few – precious – images I have of my father with my son.
I have none with him, Alison, and my son. Zero fucking pictures.
Not a single goddamn one.
And everything went to shit after that picture.
But, for a moment in time, that was the happiest I ever was because my entire family was alive and happy for five days.
I didn’t yet know that would be all I would ever get. Ever.
