Author: Logan Lo

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personal

The SOOR

A basketball court on a NYC rooftop

Me: Realized why I don’t wear flip-flops out. Think it’s cause when I was a kid, used to and then when the other kids tried to beat me up, couldn’t run away fast enough.
Her: (immediately) Oh don’t worry, I’ll protect you now.
Went drinking with Nadi and Paul at his pad this past Saturday. Quite something when you start drinking at 5PM and call it a night at 10.

Things have been pretty good these days; clients’re slowly coming out of the woodwork. Been busy lately, not so must busy with coin production so much as busy with preparation for coin production.

Eh, tomayto, tomahto…

———-

Him: Gonna have the talk with her today, wish us luck.

Got no fewer than four friends that’ve had the SOOR (Status Of Our Relationship) talk.

Two got their walking papers, one got conditional employment, one got a permanent position – though, really, all good relationships’re temp-to-perm at some point, yeah?

Think maybe that’s why I was upset with onea my friends. Cause I felt like he already filled the position with some imaginary person and was just stringing the contestant along. But he says he wasn’t and he’s an honest fellow.

Frank Sinatra had this song I heard once where he said something like, doesn’t matter if you’re the dumper or the dumpee, sucks either way. Or not.

———-

Me: Can’t do it, my finger’s broken.
Him: (rolling eyes) Somethings always broken on you…

Lost my health insurance. This means no wrestling for me for now.

Still gonna fence though – grown men stabbing each other with pointy things, what could go wrong there?

Location: apparently Dante’s eighth circle
Mood: goodness, so hot
Music: been looking for something else. Duel it
YASYCTAI: Help me find that Frank Sinatra song! (60 mins/1 pt)

Categories
personal

No, not that Matthew Perry…

Location: 14:00 yest, melting at 14th Street
Mood: still #@$@#$@# hot
Music: Callin all nations To put it on the line

Police cars near the PATH station in downtown NYC
Her: Cruise’s a good actor. I mean, when he plays a character, he’s that character. Not like…like Claire Danes or Matthew Perry, who just play themselves every time.

Obviously I’m a history nerd in addition to being a tech one. It’s the truest expression of egalitarianism, cause people do the same thing over and over regardless of race, creed or religion.

People’re people, world around. And people’re not sane, world around.

People think that Asia didn’t have guns way back then. They did. The Japanese has it as far back as the 16th Century but they pretty much banned it around the 17th century. Which woulda been great except fast forward to March 31, 1854, when Matthew Perry (not that Matthew Perry) sailed into Japan with a crapton of guns.

Last Thursday, the Hiroshima mayor backed Obama’s call to get ridda all nuclear bombs by 2020. Which would be great if everyone was sane. They’re not.

Scarier is that these not sane people find each other and toss their not sane ideas back and forth. 1970’s Cambodia, 1930’s Germany, Saudi Arabia, North Korea – these’re whole countries with people not operating with a full deck at the helm.

Look I’m a pacifist. But the problem with most people is that they think, “Well, I wouldn’t do that.” That’s a dangerous thing to think. Cause most people don’t do what you’d do – they do what they’d do.

———-

Finally feels like August in the big city; I need a slip-n-slide like below.
Cannot wait for the fall…

YASYCTAI: Have you been in the water yet this summer? Y’gotta…(40 mins/0.5 pts)

Categories
personal

Beautiful plans

Trying to be better

woolworth building, solitary man

 

Him: Ran into your ex the other day…she didn’t really want to talk about what happened with you two.
Me: Don’t blame her – wasn’t our best moment, if you will.
Him: You don’t hate her?
Me: (thinking) Put it this way – if you were a 31 year-old chick in a happy, stable, relationship, would you throw it all away on some meaningless flings? In other words, how much of a ______ would I have to be for her to do that? Wasn’t our best moment. Wasn’t my best moment. But I’m trying to be better.

Her: He and I were married 10 years. Now we’re not. I had all these plans…
Me: Yeah, you had all these beautiful plans. Now you gotta come up with new ones. And you will. Right now, y’think of them every minute yeah? But in a while, it’ll be every other minute. Then it’ll be every other hour. One day you’ll realize, y’didn’t think of them, or him, all day. Then someday months’ll go by when you don’t think of them.
Her: I can’t imagine that…
Me: That’s what I thought.

Since I’m probably older than you, two random thinks I’ve learned:

———-

Had a condo board meeting today. Tried several times to resign as president. Nope. It’s like being in the mafia. Damn that Asian work ethic…

Location: 20:00, yest, leather couch on 73rd
Mood: still hot
Music: I was following though with my beautiful plans

Categories
personal

Details in my eye

NYC nighttime skyline

 

Spent last Friday bouncing around a farm in upstate NY in the rain. Funny thing was that the price for 3,441,240 SF farm is about the same as my 1,700 SF apartment.

Came back to hit up a birthday party for my bro at a karaoke joint. Friends, pizza, rum – what’s there not to like? Afterward we went to this rooftop bar in midtown. My liver and I’re on speaking terms again so took it easy.

Feel bad that I didn’t have enough time to spend with my bro but was glad to see him when I could.

Told onea our close friends and favourite people that when I was 14, I was 5’3″ and 185 pounds.

And she told us that she had a little sister that she lost when the sis was 19.

Dunno how y’make it past something like that; how do you overcome that blow?

Let’s you and I never find out, yeah?

———-

I can only hope

that Some day, some day,

not quite so far away,

the contrails in the sky

match the details in my eye

and I’ll be who

I’m meant to be.
Contrails
NYC stop sign
 You see,

I do believe I would be free

if only these memories would leave.

But then the places of my past

contrast the faces of my mind.

So then I think of them,

and they of me.

Well,

silhouette
I can only hope.

———-

Just screwing around with HTML, folks.

And now, a duck goose:

Upstate duck

 

Location: my pad all day
Mood: melancholy
Music: We stood so tall we caught a plane by the wing and held it

Categories
personal

DC Fat Darrell

 

Skip the first 30 seconds.

Weird thing was that I wrote a short story about a decade ago about a fairy godmother that I swear I told him about. But his version and mine’re vastly different.

Lemme know whatcha think.

Subway metro in Washington DC

Got a call at 1AM the other night from the girlie that I chatted to on a Gramercy stoop. She said I was one of the only people she trusted not to screw her over. Took that to heart and stayed awake to talk to her.

Her: So what do I do about him?
Me: Look, we all got this map of the world in our heads. And emotional pain happens when your reality doesn’t match your map. It’s like if you expect Broadway to be somewhere cause the map says so, but it’s not. So you’re thinking, WTH?
Her: So what do I do?
Me: (sighing) Y’only got three choices: change your map, change your reality or keep crying.
Downtown skyline

Question: What’s the only mammal that can’t jump?

Went to a house party on a roof the other night. Something about the NYC skyline y’can’t get elsewhere. But went to DC afterward anyway.

DC was nice. Hot. Very hot. Spent mosta the time in the museums: Natural History and American History. Place was packed; kinda gives y’hope about the future if the museums’re packed, yeah?

Managed to score a suite at the GWU Inn; had a view of Watergate. Ugly as sin.

The room was a suite cause it had a stove and fridge, meaning that we loaded up at the Trader’s Joe around the way. Then, on the way back, stopped off at Rutgers to get a Fat Darrell.

View from room to Watergate

Felt like a tubster so wrestled today. If one’s 36 with a broken middle finger, injured neck, and tennis elbow, you’d think one’d not wrestle with 20-year olds at 99% humidity.

Then again, making good choices isn’t my thing.

Anywho, a client finally called me today. Heading upstate tomorrow to try to make some scratch.

Oh, and…elephant.

Rutgers Fat Darrell

 

Location: 12:00, getting pinned on 27th
Mood: hot
Music: let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France

Categories
personal

Anniversary

Location: 20036
Mood: okay
Music: And I’ll see her when I wake…

Clock on 5th Avenue

My grandmother passed this time last year so gonna take the night off.

Was in DC this past weekend; post about it later.

Categories
personal

Worth the Trouble

Location: 4 hours ago, looking for a White Castle on 6th
Mood: sotted
Music: all I ever knew, only you


Him: Where’re you?
Me: I’m with a buddy looking for a White Castle.
Him: So, are you “Harold” or “Kumar?”
Me: Clearly, I’m Harold.

Went to my buddy Kung‘s birthday party; this year, made it home before the sun set versus last year when I made it home as the sun rose. Getting old. Sheridan floated me into another high society open bar joint with a BBQ on a rooftop but I couldn’t get in touch with him. Just as well. Instead, caught up with a friend that was recently given his walking papers.

Me: Y’should go try starting over somewhere else. There’s nothing keeping y’here.
Him: My friends’re here.
Me: Your friends’ll still be your friends – I mean not me, but your real friends. I’ll forget about you before you leave. Besides, then you can meet someone that not a total idiot like you last girlfriend.
Him: She wasn’t stupid. She was…average.
Me: Calling her a “moron” would be an insult to all the real morons out there.
Him: (laughing) That’s not fair, we’ve above average intelligence. You can’t hold people to a higher standard.
Me: Please – someone stole my life’s savings, how smart could I be?
Him: You’re at least as smart as me.
Me: (laughing) That’s really not saying much.
Him: Anyway, she did good in her last class.
Me: WELL – “she did well in her last class.”
Him: (mock annoyance) I’m a physicist, “well/good,” it’s all the same to us. And yeah, maybe she wasn’t really all that smart or even that attractive. (sighing) But…I still loved her. It’s stupid, I know but…
Me: Yeah…I know. I know.

For better or worse, y’got no control who you fall in love with. If you’re lucky, it’s with someone who’s worth the trouble.

Speaking of worth the trouble, going to DC for a mental health break with a pretty lady this weekend.

YASYCTAI: It’s time for a mental health break, no? (72 hours/2 pts)

Categories
personal

…you’re speaking Martian?

 

BBQ picnic with glass of wine

Buddy once told me this story once, maybe it was on SNL, where this really lonely dude had this affliction where he could only talk in a really sarcastic voice. Yet everything he said was in earnest.

Her: Do you wanna play?
Him: Oh puh-lease, I totally wanna play with someone like you. Like I’m so lonely…
Her: Jerk…

And yet he did. My buddy, who’s not a sentimental fella, said it was poignant.

Consider this, it’s said that: Communication isn’t what the speaker says, it’s what the listener hears.

And my weekend sucked cause…don’t it feel like sometimes that everyone’s speaking English and you’re speaking Martian?

Me: How much longer till the food’s ready?
Him: (laughing) Shaddup and drink your girlie pink wine.
Me: Oh, I’m drinking it…y’watch…I’m drinking it…

OK fine, it didn’t totally suck; saw a lotta old friends the past two days. Lemme give you the Zone Improvement Plan version:

  • Drive up to 10804 to have some rosé and, possibly, an entire pig.
  • Wanted to stay but had to drive to 07030 deal with some baggage.
  • Then drive to 10024 to discuss my sinful life I enjoy a bit too much. Fella stops by and I tell him to take his chances while he can.
  • Crash and then wake to walk to 10023 and mail something to 91326 fore saying goodbye to the HEI.
  • She’s leaving 10001 to maybe make a go with fella around 94117. Tell her to take her chances too. She’s leaving my Venn diagram after all, but she says that she’ll send me an email from time to time.
  • Can’t chat for long though; have to dash to 10018 to meet up with a friend for an Irish Breakfast.
  • Pat him on the back fore running down to 10010‎ to get a kiss and a cuppa joe.
  • Want to stay longer but take the bus to 10019 to get x-rayed. Lady asks me to give her the finger and then laughs when she realizes what she asked. But I do anyway.
  • Happened to be by my old law school at 10023 so walk there and sweet-talk a girlie into letting me into the school for the first time in 10 years.
  • Was a nice day so stroll up to 10024 where I meet up with WM for 20 wings and a pitcher of beer.

Saw no less than 20 people in two days but…don’t it feel like sometimes that everyone’s speaking English and you’re speaking Martian?

Or that y’keep saying the same things over again but no one ever hears?

Buddy once told me this story once, maybe it was on SNL…

Fordham Law School Atrium

 

Location: giving her the finger on 59th Street
Mood: full
Music: maybe I’m the broken one

Categories
personal

Broken but un-roasted

A clumsy summer day where I saw the unfunny film, Funny People

A metro station in Washington DC

Her: (looking at tourists) They’re not getting the full New York City experience.
Me: How so?
Her: They’re going to go home and tell everyone, “New York City’s so pleasant in the summertime.”

For years, told people that NY only has three seasons: Fall, Winter and Summer. I’m the kinda guy where it can be 80 degrees and I’m melting. Going down the subway’s like descending into Dante’s Inferno; Seventh Circle at least – Ninth if it’s Times Square.

In short: Summer’s not kind to me. Usually. This summer, though, with most days in July between 70-80 (21-26C) degrees and low humidity, been happy as a clam.

A cool, un-roasted, clam.

———-

Saw the sneak preview of Funny People. Was…funny, but every single joke a was a penis joke. Plus it was 220 minutes cause it was a sneak preview.

220 minutes of penis jokes wears thin. Both my date and I were bored after an hour.

Like I said, crass is only so funny; don’t get me wrong, it was funny. Just could have been tighter, shorter, faster, better.

———-

Evidently, I’ve dislocated my middle finger while wrestling. Popped it back a bit later. It was…unpleasant.

Gotta go to the doc. Again. It’s amazing I’ve lasted as long as I have considering how clumsy I am.

I’d show you it but that’d mean I’d have to give you the middle finger.

Yes, it’s come to this: middle finger jokes.

Location: 19:00 yest., Wild Ginger on Washington
Mood: cool
Music: bruising knees, Hot July ain’t good to me
YASYCTAI: Have you seen a sneak preview before? If you’re in NYC, get tickets in front of the 66th Street Lowes most Wednesdays around 3. (5 mins/0.5 pts)

Categories
personal

Clean

Location: 15:30 yest, the 66th Street B&N;
Mood: over-caffeinated
Music: Always wanted to see the colours of your destiny

A pan of read corned beef hash from Nonna in the UWS

Her: (laughing hysterically) When did you do that?
Me: Breathe mom, breathe…

Had dinner at the Telephone Bar the other night before catching Paul for a party at the same place as this entry. Same people, same discussions, worse weather but good all around.

Spent mosta the night trying to pick up this one girlie Paul mentioned he found attractive; that is until he saw her up close and decided wasn’t his type. Oh well, at least it kept me busy.

The next day I had myself brunch around the way at a joint called Nonna where I had real corned beef hash; like not from a can.

It’s these little things that make my day.

———-

Been working on the manuscript again; this’s now year seven. Should really just finish it now that I got the time.

Y’ever pick up something you wrote before and think, What the hell was I thinking when I wrote that? Literally, every single year I work on it, have that same thought.

Speaking of older stuff, my mom somehow found Bachelor Cooking, which I think is the best thing Rain and I’ve done together. Maybe we should dust it off again. Cept we can’t stand working with each other.

In close to three years of writing On (or close) to Schedule, never mentioned why I don’t curse or why I’m deliberately vague. It’s cause I assume that my mom’ll, or someone from RL’ll find it.

It’s made me a better writer, I think.

Pound-for-pound, the funniest comedian out there is Brian Regan. And he’s beyond clean. And the pinnacle of television comedy, IMHO, is The Contest; which is both completely filthy and completely clean at the same time.

That’s really hard.

Don’t get my wrong, my manuscript’s nuthin like this blog; it’s pretty salty. But all of this stuff I put up online, put up knowing that online stuff’s forever.

This blog could have easily gone the way of a sleezy, douchey, caricature. Instead, went the way of a clumsy nerd who ends up looking like an idiot as much as he doesn’t.

Realized also, wasn’t so much offended by raunchy, filthy, foul-mouthed posts, myspace/twitter musings and blogs – was just kinda bored by it.

Started wearing white again after bout 15 years of not. Cause, being as clumsy as I am, it’s near impossible to keep something clean. But, for me, it’s just better that way.

Me: (a minute later) So what did you think of it?
Her: (still laughing)
Me: Ok, I’m gonna go now…
YASYCTAI: Try writing something a completely different way. (30 mins/1 pt)