Deep questions and a review of The Grey film

LIRR stop overlooking a street in Queens, NY

Me: How’s the spinach and Parmesan omelet?
Her: It’s good, it just smells like a fart.
Me: Thank you for your contribution to this morning’s conversation.

Last week was a major week for me for good and bad reasons. Suppose I’ll get into that at some point in the future.

The heat’s getting to me. Find this odd cause my family’s from a subtropical country. Am pretty sure that, had I been born and raised there I would have gone full-on starkers with the heat. As it stands now, I’m the guy that shows up for work looking as if I just took a shower.

It is not a good look.

What I don’t understand – and I’d really like to know the answer – is how people can run around wearing sweaters in the middle of August? Who are these people? Are they related to the people that finish exams with 90 minutes left on the clock?

While fighting the heat, caught the film The Grey, mainly cause it takes place in the winter. If you’ve seen the film, highlight the below empty white space, which I’ve hidden for those that have (luckily) not seen the film.

This movie is yet another example of Hollywood writers making crap up that make zero sense. Essentially, everyone that listened/followed Lian Neeson’s character, including Lian Neeson character, dies. This should be required viewing for anyone in the wilderness of what not to do as it violates every rule of survival, onea the main ones being stay with your vehicle cause:

  • it’s huge
  • is visible from a distance
  • provides shelter
  • potentially has food and water

This was so egregious to me that I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the film – which compounded the number of mistakes¬† – such as route selection and leadership selection the latter which begs the question, why pick as leader the suicidal guy with zero survival skills?

Perhaps some questions were meant never to be answered. However, if you’ve ever wondered who’s the guy that wears shorts in the winter? That question I can answer: it’s people like me and my buddy Steel. Cause we’re melting even in the winter.

Cannot wait for Fall. After all, my year starts in September.

Location: my roasting room
Mood: heated
Music: White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight


Jiro dreams of greatness in unexpected places

To get three Michelin stars – the highest offered – is supposed to mean that it’s worth taking a trip to a country to try that restaurant’s food.

While it seems pretty biased towards French food, it’s interesting to note that a small sushi restaurant in a Toyko subway station received three stars.

We pause this blog entry to let that fact sink in:

  • It’s a Michelin three star restaurant.
  • In a subway station.

Should also mention that there’s no bathroom.

Couldn’t see my dad for father’s day so instead got together with him this week and we caught a showing of Jiro Dreams of Sushi, a documentary about the restaurant.

Both of us thought it was pretty good although, like some other reviewers, thought it spent too much time talking about how great the sushi was rather than showing it. Minor quibble though.

When you’re a kid, because of what you’ve been told and seen on Disney, y’expect things and people to look the part. The hero’s always handsome, the monster’s always monstrous.

Then as you get older, you find out that some monsters are handsome and some heroes are quite plain.

Here’s my takeaway from it: You can find greatness everywhere, oftentimes, in the most unexpected places. And things are never as they seem


My fencing instructor’s out for a month or more. So I taught the class after all.

The first class was last night and I found that my key to the classroom didn’t work. Luckily someone let me in. After some minor mishaps, we got into a groove.

Am pretty sure I’m not ready to teach the class.

But he thinks I am so I’ll do it and hope that I do as good a job as he has. I’m grateful for the confidence.

Location: yesterday night, fiddling with keys on West 72nd
Mood: ambitious
Music: too close to the edge. Let’s see if I know the ledge


Logan’s 38 / What you pay for being alright

Logan LoJust check’n if all my hair’s still there.

Joe: Did they hurt you in there, Mitchel?
Mitchel: Not so you’d notice.
Joe: They hurt me in there, Mitchel.
Mitchel: I know they did, Joe. It’s all right now. Here. (gives him money)
Joe: You don’t have to do that.
Mitchel: Yes, I do. It’s a tax you pay for being alright.

London Boulevard (film)

You know you’re old when you fondly remeber being 30.

Started this blog five years ago because of my breakup. Then it somehow morphed into my admittedly peculiar dating life punctuated with some really cool highs and some awful, awful lows. Now I’m just a boring married guy.

But at some point in the future, there’ll be more really cool highs and some more awful lows. It’s all about waiting for the next high, I suppose.

I’ll take the awful lows, though – as best one can. And I’ll try to do my own little bit to contribute something to world. It’s all parta the same thing anyway.

Think the above quote’s spot on, paying back to the aether’s the tax you pay for being alright. Isn’t that what a tax is? It’s what you pay to be alright.

I’m alright right now, and feel the need to pay a little more this year. Duuno what that is but I’m looking.

Having said that, you know the drill. Wish me a happy birthday and say something, all of you bastards that read me but never say anything.

Location: home, listening to the rain outside
Mood: hopeful
Music: One girl, one boy, Some grief, some joy
YASYCTAI: Oh, you know… (60 mins/1 pt)


Totally Should

Central Park in spring

Her: I’m too tired to work out. (pause) Tell me I’m fat, maybe that’ll get me to go out and run.
Me: Sheyeah right – that’s the adult equivalent of, “Hey, pull my finger.”

Back when my insomnia was raging hardcore, was reading about a book a week. Lately, been reading about one every 2-3 weeks. One of the books I read on vacation was Free, which had this interesting Tim O’Reilly quote I’ve always subscribed to:

[T]he enemy of the author is not piracy, but obscurity.

Her: So will you keep writing your blog? I’m just asking because I’m curious.
Me: Not sure. The whole point was to make a blog was to send out some stories I’ve written. Should get going on that.

I totally should.


Saw Date Night for a date night. Quite good, actually. Had no less than two people commenting that they were concerned that all the funniest bits were already shown on TV in the previews – like that last Adam Sandler flick.

Luckily, no.

Actually, my weekend was quite nice as a whole. Also finally saw The Blind Side. Two great flicks in one weekend. Not a bad way to go.

Location: yest, all over Brooklyn
Mood: ambitious
Music: want to know if the answer’s in my hands


Lovely Tupperware

Location: 23:00 yest, with a large knife in my small bathroom
Mood: ill
Music: Too late for the young gun This is the year of the knife

(c) bernard chatreau

Old NYC graffti subway car by bernard chatreau

Me: That’s not how it looks.
Her: How does it look?
Me: At dusk, the 7 train would be packed with Asian teenagers. That’s totally fake.

Just saw the remake of Pelham 123 – the last scene shows someone riding the 7 train pretty much by his lonesome. The 7 train, in the early evening, is never that empty. Moreover, even when it is slightly empty, there’s always a dozen or so Asian teenagers on board at any given time.

I should know, I was onea them growing up.

1 hour 14 minutes into the film, there was a single shot of an Asian for a second.

Not onea those Asian activists – in fact this may be my only post in three years that even discusses what I am and not who I am – but it does bug me when we’re completely figuratively whitewashed outta of a movie.

Then again, it doesn’t really matter to me. Cause film’s all fantasy anywho. Reality is, we’re all up in this joint.

Funny thing is, who’s fantasy is it where you see onea us for only a second?

Have you met us? We’re lovely.

And when you order food from us, we give you tupperware.


Me: Got a small abscess in my leg like last time and just spent the last 20 minutes digging it out with a knife and toothpicks. Question, do I have to keep hacking at my leg until I see blood?
Him: You may be the dumbest smart person I know.

Word of advice: If you find yourself low on rum, with a painful wound, a large hunting knife, several toothpicks, some gauze and alcohol, it’s never rarely a good idea to do self-surgery. A conference with the Professor indicates that perhaps the wrong course of action was chosen.

I’m my own worst enemy, a danger to myself. In other news, I’ll be visiting the pharmacy tomorrow. Purpose: Painkillers and antibiotics.

Said we’re lovely, never said we’re particularly bright. I mean, we’ll stomp all over that curve but still…

YASYCTAI: If you had to, would you know how to take care of a wound? If not, pick up a book. (120 mins/1 pt)


Broken but un-roasted

A clumsy summer day where I saw the unfunny film, Funny People

A metro station in Washington DC

Her: (looking at tourists) They’re not getting the full New York City experience.
Me: How so?
Her: They’re going to go home and tell everyone, “New York City’s so pleasant in the summertime.”

For years, told people that NY only has three seasons: Fall, Winter and Summer. I’m the kinda guy where it can be 80 degrees and I’m melting. Going down the subway’s like descending into Dante’s Inferno; Seventh Circle at least – Ninth if it’s Times Square.

In short: Summer’s not kind to me. Usually. This summer, though, with most days in July between 70-80 (21-26C) degrees and low humidity, been happy as a clam.

A cool, un-roasted, clam.


Saw the sneak preview of Funny People. Was…funny, but every single joke a was a penis joke. Plus it was 220 minutes cause it was a sneak preview.

220 minutes of penis jokes wears thin. Both my date and I were bored after an hour.

Like I said, crass is only so funny; don’t get me wrong, it was funny. Just could have been tighter, shorter, faster, better.


Evidently, I’ve dislocated my middle finger while wrestling. Popped it back a bit later. It was…unpleasant.

Gotta go to the doc. Again. It’s amazing I’ve lasted as long as I have considering how clumsy I am.

I’d show you it but that’d mean I’d have to give you the middle finger.

Yes, it’s come to this: middle finger jokes.

Location: 19:00 yest., Wild Ginger on Washington
Mood: cool
Music: bruising knees, Hot July ain’t good to me
YASYCTAI: Have you seen a sneak preview before? If you’re in NYC, get tickets in front of the 66th Street Lowes most Wednesdays around 3. (5 mins/0.5 pts)


Mrs. Reynolds, Johnny Handsome, and Psalm 33:10

Location: 4 hours ago, getting caught in the rain
Mood: depressed
Music: Now up and at em it’s on, I was raised to be strong

A church in downtown NYC.

: Hello, you don’t remember me, but I was in your French class in seventh grade. My name’s Logan…

Ran into her last year grabbing a bite to eat near the rents. She was in a shop trying to get an old pair of glasses fixed. Pulled out this beat up purse and dug through for $20 to pay the guy.

She was laid off years ago. No one wanted to learn French anymore. The only reason I did was because of pretty girlie named Yvey in her class. But I digress.

She didn’t have $20 and they didn’t take Amex, which is all I had. So she put her glasses, held together with tape, back on her face.


Me: I did terribly in French. You told me after the year was over that I was just one of those people that would never be good at languages.
Her: Did I? I’m sorry, that was mean.
Me: (laughing) Don’t be. Because of what you said, I taught myself three languages. One I still sorta remember. (gently) Y’made me try to be better than I was. You were a good teacher. And you were nice to me – not many people were back then.

Her: (quietly) Thank you. I wish they’d let me teach again.


Had an awful day today and thought of the above cause here’s what I was thinking that day: I used to have coin. And now I didn’t even have a lousy 20 bucks to help out this little old lady.

My birthday’s coming up. Never woulda imagined I’d be where I am at 35. Want so bad to be better than I was. Maybe it’s not in the cards.

Me: It’s me. That gig still open?
Him: Logan? Nah, man. But someone always needs a favour, yeah? So…y’back?
Me: Yeah.

Don’t worry. Not gonna whine. Just lemme say that it sucks when you realize that the saying’s totally true: Men plan; God laughs.

And the Devil? He’s always waits.

YASYCTAI: Watch Johnny Handsome. Cause sometimes, they’ll never let you any better than you are. (90 mins/1 pt)


My first days of 2009

Location: 15:15 yest, Grand Hyatt, Washington DC
Mood: cranky
Music: tell them I’m fine and to show I’ve overcome the blow

Rosslyn Metro Station in Washington DC

New Year’s, had dinner with Heartgirl by mine. Ate so much that we had to leave at 23:30 to get into our fat clothes – and by “we/our,” I mean, “me/my.” But she’s a trooper. Saw the ball drop on the big screen and promptly passed out.

New Year’s day, stayed in and mostly digested but we did see Slumdog Millionaire. See it.

Friday, was on the way to see Ricky Wong and a buddy at a bar downtown when I saw a guy playing a piano on the platform in the subway station – not a keyboard, a full-on piano. Took out camera and started taking pics. When other people saw me snapping, they did as well – about 10 people all snapping pics of this dude that somehow managed to drag a piano into Union Square Station. At the bar, sat next to Jason Patric who was sucking face with some chick.

No place like NYC.

But, on Saturday, hopped into the whip with Heartgirl to go to Washington DC where we didn’t see any pianos on any of their stations. Stayed at the Grand Hyatt – nicest hotel I’ve stayed at in over two years. Note to self: buy an apartment that can fit a queen-sized bed make some scratch. Had a dinner of tapas at La Tasca where I discovered that I love tapas.

Sunday, saw the American History portion of the Smithsonian and went to the Spy Museum. When in Spy Museum, see the exhibits but avoid the interactive game, Operation Spy. You’ll thank me. Were too tired for dinner so got some sandwiches and ate on the 11th floor lobby balcony.

Monday, hopped back into the whip and took off for home. It’s PCD’s birthday, should give her a call to wish her well, but it’s late. Sure we’ll talk soon.

S’funny – used to wanna call the ex to tell her that I survived the blow. But stopped caring enough ages ago to ever bother.

Washington DC’s nice. Not as nice as NY. But nice.

So, 2009…

Lobby of the Grand Hyatt in Washington DC; view from 11th Floor
Guy playing the piano on a NYC subway platform; Union Square, 14th Street
Spanish Tapas at XXXX, in Washington DC
Heartgirl and Logan Lo

YASYCTAI: Go to a museum. Cause you just should. (90 mins/2 pts)


Bigger holes

Date night at the Museum of Natural History in NYC

American Museum of Natural History NYC


Was walking to church tonight when I accidentally kicked a piece of ice and and it skidded along when a guy kicked it back, by accident. So I kicked it back to him and he kicked it into the street. As we passed each other:

Him: (laughing) Happy holidays.
Me: (laughing) You too, man.

Quiet weekend. Saw my friend Nadi for dinner where I chatted up these two pretty girlies. They asked what I was doing in their town and I told them was seeing my girlfriend. After that, they ignored me for the rest of the night, which I found amusing. Convinced Nadi to come into the city with me and she met Heartgirl and Paul.

Saturday, Heartgirl and I went to the Museum of Natural History and saw the Cosmic Collisions – very cool. They had a blinking keychain with my name on it. She grabbed one too that just happened to be the name of her ex. It’s hard to compete with an imaginary person. Plus, her creepy friend just sounds like a really needy tool. He makes me wanna roll my eyes more than wanna take a shower these days.

Went home and caught Can’t Buy Me Love with her – which was the very first movie I ever went on a date with. Was 14 years old then – man, I’m old. Hadn’t seen in, quite literally, decades. Was good except for the clapping. Hate when they have clapping scenes in films and every 80’s high school film had one.

Her: (noting clothing in film) I’m so glad I didn’t grow up in the 80s.

Suppose I have reservations about Heartgirl cause the more you let someone in, the bigger the hole they leave if they…leave. So I’m always the guy that bolts for any reason whatsoever – better to bolt before you get too attached. Maybe it’s too late. I rather like the quiet nights of my boring life. Sorry guys. Oh wait – I grew a beard. That’s about as exciting as my life gets these days.

Her: Do you miss it? The nightlife, the…
Me: (interrupting) Not even a little bit.

American Museum of Natural History NYC Logan Keychain


Location: 20:00, directing traffic in church
Mood: sick
Music: crayola doesn’t make a color for your eyes


Thanksgiving 2008/Your dumb luck

Colin: American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent.
Tony: You don’t have a cute British accent.
Colin: Yes I do! I’m going to America!
Tony: Colin, you’re a lonely, ugly, _____. You must accept it.

Love Actually

If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’ve got running water. You might even have a water softener. And, despite the countless articles that note that tap water’s probably cleaner and better for the environment than bottled water, you’ve probably got somea that too. Little more than half the world has tap water.

While we’re on the topic of the world, the axiom’s that 1% of the world has a college education. Dunno if that’s true (in the US, it’s about 27%). And you probably got a mobile phone, a fridge, and a tv. Hold that thought.

On a distantly related note, I got ill, viscerally ill, hearing about the 13-year old girl in Somlia that was recently raped by five-men. And cause she reported the incident, she was buried alive up to her head in a stadium of 1,000 men per Islamic law. She screamed for her life as she was slowly stoned to death. They dug her up when they thought she was dead. But she lived. So they finished her with more rocks.

As if that wasn’t ______up enough, an eight year-old boy that tried to save her was shot to death. The kicker’s that the men that raped her were not arrested.

Lemme get to the point: the world is horribly, ridiculously unfair. You’d agree with me, yeah?

But – and hear me out – I submit that the world is ridiculously unfair in our favor. Can’t speak for you so lemme talk about me:

That’s all just in the last two years.

Someone wrote me once, how do you not be broken? After two months, I think the answer comes in two-steps:

  1. Be grateful. The kinda grateful you are if someone paid your tab just cause they could. Cause, that, in essence, is what you got. You got to live in a place where you got enough time to read the random musing of a nobody like me. And water’s a twist of a faucet away. Where life, most likely, has value.
  2. Pay it back. You owe the aether something for your largess. Something. What that is, I dunno. As for how? Dunno that either. Sorry. I’m not that bright and get by mostly on fading looks and charm. But I suspect God’s given you some gift. Start there, I guess.

Now you might think this is some sorta pinko commie, holiday post. It’s not. The first step above is so you’re not onea those miserable people that bitch about everything all of time. So annoying. The second step above is so you’re not onea those miserable people that are happy for nothing all of time. Almost as annoying.

This isn’t so you can save the world, though that’d be nice. Rather – and I know this sounds strange coming from a barely sober nobody holding a tumbler fulla rum as I write this – it’s to save yourself.

Cause I read/know some of you. And I hear how angry and sad some (not all) of you are and, just cause you read me, figured I’d pay some of it back this way.

The saying goes that Wisdom is seeing things as they are. I disagree. Wisdom is the seeing things for what they can be.

Don’t accept when people tell you that everything sucks. They’re lying to you. Things suck, yeah, but you don’t gotta accept it.

Andy Warhol once said that They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. That sounds about right.

And I’m not saying don’t stuff yourself silly over the holiday, and enjoy it. I know I will. Quite the opposite; enjoy it more knowing that you’re among the lucky. The blessed. Your dumb luck. Said it before, God gave me everything. The thing is that I know it. And that’s why I’m not broken.

After you’ve had your holiday, try and make it a little less unfair. Ideally, yeah, do it cause the world’s broken and you got a moral obligation to pay somea the extra you were given back. But if not for nothing else, if for no one else, do it for yourself – to make yourself a little less broken.

Cause, maybe if you do that, you can see things for what they can be.

Colin: Never. I am Colin. God of sex. I’m just on the wrong continent, that’s all.

Location: in my black chair, staring at this screen
Mood: hopeful
Music: I’ll give you anything you need
YASYCTAI: Somehow return of that luck you have to the aether. (Lifetime / 4 pts – 5 if you let us know what you did)