Categories
personal

Rough hewing

We’re all working our way through life

Saw Blue Jean Eyes last week. Waited to write because I wanted to see how it panned out. No change, unfortunately.

She asked me the most peculiar thing once, she asked if I said unkind things about her afterwards. I asked her why I would. If you’ve read this blog long enough, you know I’m tired of being the bad guy.

Had dinner Saturday with some friends and strangers including a Candy Fiend from Texas:

Her: I read your blog, you know.
Me: Really? I’m always surprised…
Her: Are you depressed?

Is that how I come across?

Looking back at my entries, I think that, more than anything, I’m dorky/hopeful.

Yes, I have my miniature disasters and minor catastrophes, (see supra) but my last tiny calamity brought about this blog, friendship with rum, a better idea of what I want/don’t want in life, 72 to Canal, a dozen new satellites, and a few memorable, if short-lived, romances.

A fair trade, no?

I updated my About section to reflect my new age but everything else is still true.

I’m still hopeful. I’m still rough-hewing.

It’s good, that some things never change.

Location: walking five+ miles from home to the LES
Mood: confused
Music: don’t want to be second best Don’t want to stand in line

Categories
personal

More Secrets

We all have a vault where we keep our secrets

I was out with some friends hauling furniture, drinking rum, and arguing.

Me: Of course I’m pissed, you opened the vault! You’re supposed to keep that stuff to yourself!
Him: I opened the vault? Look who’s talking! At least I was drunk. What’s your excuse for that email from last time?
Me: That was a mistake and I apologized.
Him: I may have opened the vault, but you, you give f___ tours. “Come on in, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you a drink?”


Location: @8PM, yesterday, an ex’s restaurant, being clumsy
Mood: tired
Music: she did and she does and she’ll do it again
Categories
personal

Spring cleaning

I’ve got to learn to duck

That was unpleasant. I gotta learn to duck (warning: kinda gross – do not click if squeamish).

It’s just as well, I need to stay home and clean up. I bought myself what I think is the best canister vacuum, yet I haven’t used it once, I’m going to use it, I just don’t know when.

Her: Spring cleaning, eh? I wanna do that too. BTW, so many people are single these days, a friend called me yesterday to tell me that he and his girl just split up.
Me: Well, two friends of mine just got into relationships and someone I know just got back with an ex. But I think it’s all part of the same thing: spring cleaning.

Something about spring makes you wanna examine your stuff. The spring light sharpens things dull from the winter. You can see what’s worth working on and what’s gotta go. Doesn’t matter if they’re comic books, handbags, or relationships.

Last spring was terrible for me.

This spring, things are looking much better.

Excuse the mess – it’s I’m still a work in progress.

Location: @8:45 PM, on the UWS playing with sharp things
Mood: thankful
Music: if you’re gonna do it do it right do it with me
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Categories
personal

Who do you think you are?

Asking yourself that question works wonders

Was out and about this weekend again with three females; two were friends, one was not.

The two that were friends were out to meet people. They’re both very attractive and when they’re out with people they have no interest in, they’re socially fine. But the moment they like someone, they get shy. Think most people are like that. I was like that too.

But that was a while ago.

Now, I always ask myself: Just who the hell do you think you are?

Works wonders.

As for the girl that was not my friend, that’s a story for a different time.

Location: @9AM, yesterday, walking around the UWS
Mood: productive
Music: You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue Anyway

Categories
personal

Bread & Tulips

There are two myths regarding King Midas

Been having nightmares. The kind where you wake up in a sweat.

You know the story of King Midas and the golden touch, yeah? He’s got a lesser known story. His servant knew a secret of Midas and couldn’t bear it. So the servant whispered it to a bed of reeds but the reeds told the world.

I meet people all the time. The last several weeks have been blurs of What’s your story, morning glory? But nothing ever comes of them because of the things in my head. So many things.

When I’m out and about, I’m innocuous and easy without a hint of depth; like Wonder Bread.

Had a recent conversation with a girl I reconnected with. We got onto the topic of regrets somehow and I told her it was the story of my life. She asked, “What could you really have done that was so bad?”

Against my normal character, I told her the least of it and she looked back at me with a face I’ve seen many times before.

Threw her a wink and a smile and that was the end of it.

For her, anyway.

There are no reeds I know of in my fine city (s’ok, they’re gossip folk anyway) so I leaned over and whispered my dirty to some tulips in Central Park on Sunday.

Let’s hope they can keep a secret.

Location: @3PM, Sunday, Strawberry Fields
Mood: sleepy
Music: If I don’t get some shelter, oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away

Categories
personal

That’s a weird question

Won’t be seeing her around

I cut my hair finally because we shot all my scenes for 72nd to Canal. Psyched. I hated that haircut.

To continue in the vein of my Monday post, my friends have been mocking me incessantly about how I hold my left hand when I stand. It’s worse when I’m out and about.

I never noticed it until they mentioned it. I think it’s because of my fencing class because I don’t do it with my right hand.

Speaking of my fencing class, I met this brown-eyed girl outside of it whom I’m sure is from NJ:

Her: (concerned and eyeing what’s in my hand) I’m sorry, do you live here?
Me: No, I take a fencing class here. Don’t worry, it’s not real.
Her: (relieved) Oh, that’s great, do you like it?
(15 minutes of conversation later)
Me: I’m sorry, this is going to sound like a weird question, but are you a vegetarian?
Her: (laughing) That is a weird question! I’m actually a pescatarian, that means…
Me: (nodding) …you only eat fish. Right.
Her: I’d better let you get to your class, Logan. See you around?
Me: See you around, Jen.

I won’t be seeing Jen around.

Location: on a green twin-sized bed
Mood: full
Music: faded jeans I hope you get your dreams Just go ahead

Categories
personal

Desk

What does your desk look like right now?

This is what my desk looks like right this minute.

Please note that my passport, rum and gum are within easy access should I need to bolt. You can barely see it, but the hardcover book behind my screen is A Cricket in Times Square. On that note, the other books are travel books for places I will never see.

What does yours look like and what’s the most interesting thing there?

Location: In front of the picture you see below
Mood: restless
Music: I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is

Categories
personal

100th Post

Would it matter if I was?

This is my 100th post.

This weekend, I had the last of my birthday celebrations with my college friends. They like to celebrate in nice places with nice tableware.

Me? Burgers and wings, please. Gio and Hazel brought me out for more of the same the day before. Anything else will spoil me.

I had a weird conversation with a Rain recently:

Him: I gotta ask, are you gay?
Me: First of all, no. Second of all, what?
Him: I had to ask.
Me: Now? You’ve known me for almost ten years! Now? Would it matter if I were?
Him: Stop being a lawyer, and no. It just came up.
Me: It just came up?
Him: It just came up.
Me: Do you even read my blog?
Him: Does anyone?

I’m not – not that there’s anything wrong with it. There is no bigger fan of the female form. Someone overheard that I’ve had relations with two bisexual women, but I guess they didn’t hear that last part.

But I do have to say that I’m not even sure why women like men.

If I was a woman, I would be a raging lesbian.

Raging.

Location: 7:15 AM, in my car, rushing to midtown
Mood: Content
Music: they collide until the blue-eyed girl decides to let me go home

Categories
personal

Virginia, look at the blue sky

Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
JD: No sir, I’m a dreamer.

— Scrubs, S06E16 : 02:53

 

Location: @7:30 AM, Central Park in spring
Mood: thoughtful
Music: You’re good at makin’ me feel so small And I know you

Categories
dating personal

Interesting

Been looking at my passport like a guy looks at his girl

I just found out that Blue Jean Eyes reads my journal. Interesting.

She also told me that she’s already signed up for a dating website looking for a Jewish, vegetarian version of me. Also…interesting.

I don’t believe those options are available on my particular make/model. Odd comes standard, though.

A lot of women from my past seem to be popping up in my life lately. I miss some aspect of all of them, I think. Europegirl is now UKgirl, French-Koreangirl is happily occupied and No. 6 is…still No. 6.

Been thinking of my conversation with the blue-eyed Lawyergirl but that’s for later.

In the meanwhile, I’ve been looking at my passport like a guy looks at a pic of his chick.

I’m heading to SFO in May (I lost my place to crash so if you’ve got a couch in SF in May, drop me a line: logan607 at hotmail). Some friends are going to Montreal and I just got an invitation to Las Vegas in June.

Outside it’s cloudy in New York, but in my head, it’s sunny elsewhere.

Location: still here
Mood: peripatetic
Music: If I could escape I would