Tag: observations

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personal

What has Life told you?

Got a call from a girl who asked me an interesting question

 

Me: I dunno, I’ve been out a lot this week, I shouldn’t.
Nadi: Blue-eyed Lawyergirl is gonna be there. Although you are NOT permitted to make a pass at her.
Me: First of all, I’ve got my hands full. Then again, why not? That’s half the fun right there – for all involved parties.
Nadi: It’s open ba…
Me: I’m in.

Was thinking of a girl with curls when my email box went ding.

Berlingirl wrote me and asked the most random but sweet thing: Hope you had a lovely day today! What has Life told you?

Thought that was such an interesting question.

So I stayed in tonight to listen. Life didn’t say anything to me though.

I’ll sit by the phone and wait anyway. Just in case.

Don’t wanna miss that call.

Location: living room, black chair
Mood: waiting
Music: where ever you go I always know
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personal

This version of me

Sometimes think that I’ve become the very, very worst version of myself.

I’ve resolved my business issues but it’s a sad disappointment to discover you’re not quite as noble as you imagined you’d be.

So I met up with Hazel, Paul and Bryson and drank what was left of my self-respect.

Because of my insomnia, I grew up watching black & white films at 2AM. Jimmy Stewart was my favorite. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, The Philadelphia Story, It’s a Wonderful Life, etc.

Do you ever wake up and wonder what happened to all your youth and idealism?

Sometimes think that I’ve become the very, very worst version of myself.

Location: 11PM yest, asking for one more on the UWS
Mood: sotted
Music: Here’s coming a better version of me
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personal

This time around

 

Camera Obscura in concert at the South Street Seaport

 

Camera Obscura – the drummer was smoking like a chimney.

Baltimore was nice. Coming home was nicer. This time around, there was silverware. Sorta.

Was in the Baltimore Penn Station and I remembered being there a year ago asking my brother what I should do when I got home. He reminded me of something:

You’re 33. How can someone that you’ve been with for four years define you? What’d you do before her?

Told him the same thing once before.

I’m troubled again, but this time, for totally different reasons.

Was going to make a peanut butter and marmalade sandwich but instead had a rendezvous with a single-barrel, seven-year rum. No oranges.

This week is going to be very unpleasant but I just told someone here that life has it’s highs and lows. Life’s like that.

I’m ready for some more highs.

Camera Obscura in concert at the South Street Seaport

Location: 9PM yest, Freehold NJ, hearing a sad story
Mood: troubled
Music: I’m a stupid little thing

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personal

Fallen Summer

I got my pad, my people and my poison. Someday, maybe my person too.

You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light.

My friend Jaerik made an interesting observation on my blog that I don’t think I’ve ever noticed myself.

He said that I rarely do angry blog entries. Never thought of that.

I think people do angry on the internet because it’s easy and makes for pseudo-intellect. Sure there’s lots to be pissed about; life is inherently unfair.

But man, that’s the quickest way to a bitter, solitary life.

This blog is mostly about my love life because, well, I got nuthin else to complain about.

Not really.

I got my pad. I got my people. I got my poison. I just picked up a new whip to replace my old ride. Another 300 payments and it’s all mine.

Figure someday I’ll get the girl too. Someday.

For now, I’ll take the fall weather we’re having in summer here in NYC.

Speaking of which, I met this girl at Bryant Park tonight…

Location: in front of a pile of books again
Mood: content
Music: God gave me everything

Categories
personal

Sold I to the merchant ships

I consider our origins

Well I’ve gotten some…colorful emails based on my last post.

While both men and women read a lot more into it than intended, both seemed to disappointed in me for completely different reasons.

Primo Levi wrote in Survival in Auschwitz, that he carried a 100 pound soup pot because it gave him a few moments in the sun.

A guard gave him the gig for Italian lessons. So Levi taught him Dantes Inferno 26, which has the line, Considerate la vostra semenza: fatti non foste a viver come bruti, ma per seguir virtute e canoscenza.

Consider your origin; you were not born to live like brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge.

Look, we’re human. We’re flawed. But we try. It’s our redemption song.

Dante and Levi both believed that we have some nobility somewhere – even after seeing their respective hells, yeah?

Location: 2PM yest, watching a rooster in Harlem
Mood: amused
Music: someday we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun

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personal

Nighthawks

Edward Hopper’s painting is still relevant even now

 

There were about 7.3 million people here in NYC in 1990. Now we’re at over 8.2 million – essentially double that of LA with about 14% more adult females than adult males.

That’s a lotta people.

Funny thing is, the names and faces change, but the people are always the same.

The painting above is of the Village in ’42, just after Pearl Harbor.

You got the counterman and the nighthawks – the people out on the hunt for something, someone. The counterman’s looking out. He’s probably got a family, so he wants to go. The nighthawks?

They got no one. They’re in no rush.

But look close. There’s no door; no windows that open. They’re on display. It’s all justa show.

And the guys? It’s the same guy. A copy of a copy.

I had some stories of the weekend but I told them to you already.

Nighthawks all got the same story; millions of people but few connections.

Yeah, we’re all here in the same place, the same joint.

But in 8.2 million different worlds.

Location: 4PM yest, Columbus Circle meeting someone
Mood: relieved
Music: Kennedy and Monroe come to see my rock show
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personal

New York in the Indigo

When Harry Met Sally is just a film, it’s not the real world

I’ve been sitting here working all damn day. At least it’s the weekend. Hazel took this picture a couple of weekends back at the 7/7/07 rooftop party. Time’s just sprinting by.

People email me asking why Hazel, Somena, or any of my other female friends and I don’t just get together.

It’s because When Harry Met Sally isn’t the real world or the NY I know. In my NY, guys can have three types of female friends: former somethings, just friends, and potential somethings.

In my life at least, we all know the parts we play.

A guy like me won’t end up with a chick just cause she’s around. And vice versa.

Who wants that? That’s like when you eat the crap in the fridge because you’re too lazy to go out so you think, Eh, it looks ok.

I’ve had crazy love before. Once you’ve had that, everything else is a distant second. If you’ve ever been loved, you know. You won’t take less.

Dean Martin knew that you can never really go home to Steubenville after you’ve seen the lights of New York.

I’m alone, yeah.

But I’m not lonely.

OK, back to work…

Location: my black chair, all %#@! day
Mood: beat tired
Music: It ain’t no big thing But I know what I like
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business personal

Still Running

Humans survived because we ran

With nods to 0utre who cheered me up yesterday while I was hanging out in Stressville.

Been working out like mad but gaining weight!

The late night eating and drinking. I was out and about again tonight only briefly because I’m sick.

Just as well, I gotta cut all that out.

My roomie (ah, betcha didn’t know I had one) said Harvard has this new theory why humans are on top of the food chain:

Humans survived, not because they are smarter than other animals, but because we can run longer than any animal. No animal, not even horses or dogs, can run the distances a man can run when put to task.

Marathon Marathons.

We hunted until the animals just gave up.

We survived because we ran. It is in our nature.

Until I’m breathless and weak, I’m running. Towards what?

No idea.

But, dammit, I’m running.

Location: -30, stumbling home
Mood: stressed
Music: She is raging and the storm blows up in her eyes
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business personal

(Not) Back in the picture

Some breakups take longer than others

Blue Jean Eyes and I were orbiting for a bit more but I didn’t mention it because I wasn’t sure how it’d shake out. Turns out I was right; fifteen days later, we’re total strangers.

Suppose that’s just how it goes.

———-

There’s a new book called Send which basically says, think twice before you do anything online as once it’s up, it’s there forever. This is turning out to be very disturbingly true:

I did work for a short film, Cycle, years ago. Apparently it’s being shown someplace because I got a email from a girl asking me if I was the same Logan Lo.

Someone else said that she read about me from a random article in a local paper.

Just Googled my name and this blog showed up.

Getting a sinking feeling that if I ever look for a job (or a chick), I’m screwed.

I should re-think this blog, maybe…

Location: @3PM yest., Walker & 6th Ave
Mood: uncomfortable
Music: angel in disguise Chinese-speaking girlfriend big brown eyes

Categories
personal

What’s your definition?

We all have our own definitions of love

 

(c) Elated.com
Somena called late the other night. We only ever talk when it’s late.

I thinks that’s a good definition although mine is a bit different but the same. I’ll write it up some time.
Me: Fair enough – what’s your definition?
Her: (pause) Did you hear the lyrics to Cigarettes by the Wreckers? There’s a line that goes “someday I won’t have to prove ‘Cause somebody will see all my worth.” That’s what I think. It’s when somebody just thinks you’re great; you’re awesome.
Me: (thinking) If that’s what it is then, I guess no, I haven’t had it in a while. Besides, I don’t…
Her: Stop. The right person will see. She’ll think you’re awesome. Even if you’re not. You know how the line ends? It goes “until then I’ll do just fine on my own.” You always do just fine, you’re always fine.
Me: (pause) It’s too bad we’re so alike…
Her: (laughing) We’d kill each other. Get some sleep. Nite, Logan.
Me: Nite, Somena.

What’s your definition?

Stand Still, Look Pretty
Stand Still, Look Pretty (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Location: @5PM, yest. @Mott & Hester St., talking my way outta a ticket
Mood: pensive
Music: I might like The quiet nights of this empty life

 

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