Categories
personal

Only one end

Location: 2 hours ago, on Broadway, remembering
Mood: ok
Music: I will show you someone that you never thought you’d be

Helen Keller said that Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.

She was on the money. Oh, speaking of Helen Keller, click here for a short video I made a while ago.

Anyway – I woke up mad early and hopped to court again. I got what I wanted but that’s a story for another time. I couldn’t celebrate because I had to run to the office and land a client. Then I got a shut-off notice from ConEd and the contractor for my new office wants another $6,000. It’s always something.

The thing is, you gotta keep bobbing ‘n weaving. My dad told me recently, there’s really only one end, everything else is an opportunity. I hope he’s right.

I ran out the door at five today to make a massive holiday party with some killer food. There I met a pretty blue-eyed dancer whom I feel now I should’ve asked for her number but instead, I gave her mine.

Afterwards, I had coffee with two recent college grads and a girl in college at a diner on 34th near where I met Blue Jean Eyes. Old ghosts. I told them to save 10% of everything they ever made, learn a foreign language, meet as many people as they could, and see the world.

I wish someone told me that last one when I was in college.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, I do (now).

Categories
personal

Theme Song

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?


I gotta make payroll & rent Monday so I’ll post on Tuesday. Clearly, the most logical thing would be to rob a bank.

So I’ll be busy…plotting…

———-

If your life was a TV show, what would it be it’s theme song? I got a few. But if I had to chose just one, it would be Overkill.

Like I said, the insomnia’s back; I don’t actually mind being alone between the sheets. I do mind the lying there awake though.

So I get up and go for a walk. I’ve lived here my whole life and the last several women I’ve seen have been from around the way. I’ve run into a few of them over the past several months. I got memories on every corner.

In other words, on every corner, ghosts appear and fade away.

At least there’re pretty lights.

———-

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it’s just my imagination
Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
Its time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there’s pretty lights
And though there’s little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Location: 13:00 yest, Paterson, NJ City Hall
Mood: indescribable
Music: at night I worry over situations

Categories
personal

Oh mercy, mercy me

What if we’re on the wrong side?

Cain (a captain in the army): My favorite is: Do you want a little captain in you? (wiggles eyebrows)
Her: (thinking then laughing) Ewwwww.
Me: OK, back to me. Basically I think the only people I can date right now are lawyers and tourists.
Her: Ah, you want someone who has no time for you or is gone.
Me: (nodding) I can’t think of anything else right now. That’s why I’m the third wheel here tonight.

———-

Wish I had something cool to tell you but I spent the day in an office. So…no. I’ve got nothing to report.

OK, I did drink my night away with Cain and a new friend, who’s a litigator and my favorite waitress in the world. Was too hammered to tell them this joke but I’ve sobered up somewhat so here goes:

There’re these two Christians that’re thrown to the these starving lions. One guy says to the other, “Fear not, the good Lord will be merciful to us.”

To which the other dude goes, “How do you know the good Lord won’t be merciful to the lions?

That’s pretty much how I feel right now.

Location: 11:00 yest, on the phone asking for a favor
Mood: sotted
Music: where did all the blue sky go?

Categories
personal

Unexpected hellos / Unexpected halos

She wanted to say hello, and just did

Me on phone, hating life:

(sigh) Look, I heard you, now hear me out…yes…yes…no…fine. What would you do if you were me?…That’s conjecture, let’s stick with what we know…

Text on mobile from Europe:

Logan! It’s your Berlingirl! Just wanted to say “hello”…and now I did! 🙂 How’s autumn in NY? I just had my show last week and it went great. Hugs!

Me on phone, hating life a little less:

…What? I’m sorry, could you say that again? (pause) I was distracted by…something.

It’s always the little things that make us or break us. And Autumn in NY?

It’s always lovely, even when it’s not.

Location: 12:47 yest, happily interrupted in my office
Mood: wet
Music: Ich bin mittendrin Da dreht sich die Erde

Categories
personal

Veterans Day 2007

Three Koreans were captured in Normandy fighting for the Nazis

Some of the first “Germans” captured in Normandy were three Koreans. They were captured by the Germans from the Russians, who captured them from the Japanese, who forced them to fight in the first place.

Crazy right? Fact is usually stranger than fiction. You know, unlike what you might have heard, the average age of men killed in Vietnam was 23 years old; in WWII, it was 26.

That sounds even crazier to me.

———-

Angry over a NATO issue, French President Charles de Gaulle is said to have demanded that all American troops leave French soil. President Lyndon B. Johnson responded, “Does that include the ones buried at Omaha Beach?”

It’s so easy to forget them, isn’t it?

Location: 17:00 yest, giving legal advice off West End Ave
Mood: drained
Music: I’m so tired but I can’t sleep

Categories
business personal

I’m in

I’m all in

 

Just took out this huge loan (@8.75%) to try to get my life back. I’ve never had non-education/home related debt before. It’s disconcerting.

———-

With nods to Kastinkerbell, who is making me a Subversive Cross Stitch cause she’s cool like that, we all have things we say over and over again.

Recently, this girl on the idiot box kept ending her sentences with “Y’know what I mean?” After ten minutes, I wanted to yell, “NO! I…DON’T…KNOW.”

Then again, I say the same things constantly:

  • Well aware. / What am I an idiot? (pointing to my face and drawing a circle)
  • Oh…my…
  • Whoa, whoa, whoa!
  • I know, I know, I know.
  • Or you could not.
  • Why don’t we just tell people we did, and don’t?
  • You’ve GOT to be kidding me.
  • Sheyeah, you wish.
  • Are you always so potty-mouth, or are you just trying to impress me?
  • Well, more or less.
  • No, I’m wearing a girdle.
  • That’n two bucks’ll get you on the downtown bus.
  • I promise to dress trampy. Oh, who am I kidding – I always dress trampy.
  • I’m in.
sigh
Yeah…I’m all in.

 

Location: 19:00 yest, Home Depot, buying a faucet
Mood: busy
Music: une société qui désarme La victime, et pas le voleur

Categories
business personal

Boys do make passes

Men do like women that wear glasses, Dorothy

I submit that Dorothy Parker was wrong.

I have a new female roommate – like the last two, she’s stunning. Also like the other two, she’s off limits to me. Mainly because I’m not a creep.

However, she hung out with me, Paul and Cain the other night:

Her: Really? No way…
Me: It’s true. (turning to Paul and Cain) What do you guys think?
Paul: Glasses, definitely.
Cain: Glasses.
Me: (turning back to her) See. We love that. Men also love them because chicks can toss them off all sexy-like. You just can’t do that with contacts. I mean you could…but that’d just be weird.

Location: 19:30 yest, driving through Central Park
Mood: sad
Music: I love the way you say, good morning

Categories
personal

Where you need to be

I’ll C U When U Get There

The thing about relationships is that you develop shorthand. Like calling up your girl and saying, Hey, it’s me.

For years my brother was torn whether or not he should go to Cali. I told him that that I knew he’d get there someday and when he did, he should listen to the song above for me.

Then one day, he up and went.

That week, I got a call from a Cali number and when I answered, it was just the song playing. And I knew he was where he needed to be.

I woke up today with it in my head. I think about it every so often cause there’re so many good lines from it:

  • Life is a big game so you gotta play it with a big heart, somea us gotta run a little faster cuz we gotta later start
  • I’d be a fool to surrender when I know I can be a contender
  • if everybody’s a sinner then everybody could be a winner
  • wrap up your pity and turn it to ambition

Now I know I have at least five people that read me that sound depressed. Real depression.

So I interrupt my usual tales of complete randomness to say that you should take it seriously. It’s such a hateful thing because in the best case, you lose time. At the worst – well the outcome is like any other terminal disease.

The line that I particularly like from that song goes:

I’ma scuffle and struggle until I’m breathless and weak

To get to where you need to be, you gotta. And you should, until you’re breathless and weak.

Then you should do it again, yeah?

Back to complete randomness tomorrow.

Location: 8PM yest, showing the apartment to rent
Mood: concerned
Music: you gotta face responsibility one day, my brother
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Categories
personal

What has Life told you?

Got a call from a girl who asked me an interesting question

 

Me: I dunno, I’ve been out a lot this week, I shouldn’t.
Nadi: Blue-eyed Lawyergirl is gonna be there. Although you are NOT permitted to make a pass at her.
Me: First of all, I’ve got my hands full. Then again, why not? That’s half the fun right there – for all involved parties.
Nadi: It’s open ba…
Me: I’m in.

Was thinking of a girl with curls when my email box went ding.

Berlingirl wrote me and asked the most random but sweet thing: Hope you had a lovely day today! What has Life told you?

Thought that was such an interesting question.

So I stayed in tonight to listen. Life didn’t say anything to me though.

I’ll sit by the phone and wait anyway. Just in case.

Don’t wanna miss that call.

Location: living room, black chair
Mood: waiting
Music: where ever you go I always know
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Categories
personal

This time around

 

Camera Obscura in concert at the South Street Seaport

 

Camera Obscura – the drummer was smoking like a chimney.

Baltimore was nice. Coming home was nicer. This time around, there was silverware. Sorta.

Was in the Baltimore Penn Station and I remembered being there a year ago asking my brother what I should do when I got home. He reminded me of something:

You’re 33. How can someone that you’ve been with for four years define you? What’d you do before her?

Told him the same thing once before.

I’m troubled again, but this time, for totally different reasons.

Was going to make a peanut butter and marmalade sandwich but instead had a rendezvous with a single-barrel, seven-year rum. No oranges.

This week is going to be very unpleasant but I just told someone here that life has it’s highs and lows. Life’s like that.

I’m ready for some more highs.

Camera Obscura in concert at the South Street Seaport

Location: 9PM yest, Freehold NJ, hearing a sad story
Mood: troubled
Music: I’m a stupid little thing