Tag: single life

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personal

He keeps calling

Met a girl tonight and told her we were like ships in the night

Met up with some friends for a Spring party. There was a girlie there from Guest House a few months back. My friend was gaming her but I could tell she was vibing me so I discreetly bounced – girlies come and go, good friends are harder to find. He’s now with someone else so fast forward to this past weekend.

Her: You’re leaving? Again? What’re you, a viejo?
Me: (kissing her cheek) Very much, pretty lady. Very much.

Was leaving cause I was thinking of ringing SX when I ran into a pair of green eyes.

Her: Alison.
Me: Logan. (shaking her hand) Well look at us – we’re like ships in the night; you’re stepping in, I’m stepping out. We’d have lovely children, you and I, what with my looks and your brains. They’d be a shoe-in for the ivy league.
Her: What? (laughing) Then stay.
Me: Can’t. Got an appointment to keep. But New York’s a small town – ships in the night, yeah?
Her: Yeah.

Walking to the subway, flicked on my mobile and dialed a number. I’m sleeping, she said, but we talked until dawn anyway.

Saturday involved more rum, the Token girl (who’s moving ’round the way), the bouncers at Solas (who turned me upside down), Paul and a German girl in Zum Schneider (who was entertaining), and a Russian blond (who was awfully handy) on 9th Street.

Sunday night, went to church and sat next to a friend who told me she couldn’t make it to my birthday. Then I walked home with Jenny again.

It’s Monday. Got 11 days left; the devil’s been calling. Afraid I’ll have to answer at some point. The devil and God comes when you’re on your knees.

Don’t wanna be on my knees again. Thankfully, that’s where the rum comes in.

Location: in my shower, thinking
Mood: wicked
Music: And when you think it’s all over, It’s not over, it’s not over

Categories
personal

Philly

Of course you’re 23

Rang up the the Sexologist last week.

Me: Gio and his girl Amy’re going to his friend’s birthday party (wait for it) in Philly this weekend. Thought I’d see you.
SX: How convenient. I could hang out Saturday night. BTW, I found your blog. I’m 22 not 23.
Me: (pause) Of course you are.

Off to Philly.

SX and I met up with Seemoore briefly at her restaurant; we both agreed that she’s very attractive. Why do pretty girls always think they’re not? Asked Seemoore if she believed all the stuff I wrote about. She said she did.

Me: Am I like what you expected?
Seemoore: You seem older in the blog. You’re more friendly and outgoing in real life.
Me: (laughing) I don’t like to visit my troubles on my friends in real life. Just you guys that read me – sorry ’bout that.

She actually paid for our dessert – she’s all win. Then SX and I left, spending the rest of the night talking and walking about town. It was punctuated by laughter as the laces of her boots constantly got tangled.

Her: I like how you just invite yourself over to my place. (dismissively) Men always just wanna get into my pants.
Me: Just looking to crash, darlin’. I can promise you I won’t try.
Her: Why not?
Me: (shrugging) Because.

We met up with her friend who told us about her sex life. In vivid detail. Evidently, I lived a very sheltered life in college I live a very sheltered life. Did I mention vivid? Later we watched a chick flick before we passed out.

Loathe to admit it, but I do enjoy the British chick flicks.

Came back Sunday morning. Gio and Amy were passed out in the back seat the whole ride back. 3 hours to get to Manhattan and an hour to get through Manhattan.

Turning 35 in two weeks. Gotta come up with 26K the same day as my birthday.

Ain’t that a kick in the head?

Location: 14:00 yest, going 80 on the Penn Turnpike
Mood: tired
Music: finding myself making every possible mistake

Categories
personal

A Day in the Life

Was in the paper this past week and a HS friend recognized me and shot me an email. Then Paul and I grabbed a drink around then way with Stephen Phillips. And then I got home and spent the night talking to the Sexologist I met this past weekend. And I still need to come up with $26K.

NYC’s a funny place.

———-

Bedroom 7:00
Radio snaps on. McCain, Clinton, Obama. War. Housing market. Sigh. Six hours sleep. Very good. Situps (auf deutch) …48…49…50. Rub eyes. Check computer next to bed. Geek, me. Stretch. Stumble outta bed, stumble to kitchen.

Kitchen 7:08
Two cups coffee. Peanut butter & marmalade sandwich. Spoonful of ice cream. Protein shake. Gag.

Living Room 7:14
Push-ups (yung zhong wen)…48…49…50. 10 minutes of fencing. Sumbrada three, four & five, right handed. Double-handed. Left-handed. Espada y daga. Wonder why they never made a sequel to The Princess Bride.

Bathroom 7:35
Wash hands. Brush teeth. Consider combing hair. Don’t.

Living Room 7:38
Blue jeans. Black shirt. Grey socks. Good Morning America. Shut down computer. Pen. Wallet. Money. Mobile. Headset. Computer bag. Goodbye George, Goodbye Harold, and Goodbye Sydney.

Outside 8:00
Shut door. Lock gate.

Deep breath…

Blue skies, above. Concrete, below.

Troubles, behind (for now). Weekend Life, ahead.

Location: three hours ago, Dive 75
Mood: sotted
Music: I read the news today, oh boy

Categories
personal

Easter Weekend 2008

The time where I meet a sexologist

 

Won’t be posting much this week. Getting audited. I’ve got 24 days to come up with $25,674. I really dunno how much more pressure a man can take.

Life’s…stressful.

Friday I saw Hazel and her pretty friend, Helen. We chatted about life and love out in the wilds of Long Island. Then I drove them home. The weekend was off to a good start.

Until the letter above came in Saturday morning. Gio rang me and said we had to go out to a party in the Upper East Side. A party in UES’s like a party in the wilds of Long Island. But I went anyway.

Glad I did. I met a beautiful Sexologist who refused to kiss me.

Her: You have to work for it.
Me: (laughing) Fair enough.

Of course, she was 23. Not a pescatarian and not from NJ, though – Philly. We called it a night at 4AM and she told me to look her up when I was in her part of the world.

Me: If I go, can we get a cheesesteak?
Her: Cheesesteak’s a must.

Rolled out of bed a few hours later and worked non-stop. Paul and Hazel wanted to buy me brunch and Rain wanted to shoot me dough but charity and pity ain’t my thing. Rum’s my thing.

Stopped so I could make church on time at at 16:30; stayed until 19:45. Was walking home when I ran into lovely Jenny. Coffee and conversation? I asked. She nodded and we went to a bookstore where I told her about my life. And she told me about her’s.

She said her dramas seemed small compared to mine. I shook my head. Heartache doesn’t work that that way – there’re no absolute values of pain. Anyway…let’s actually plan to do this again instead of leaving it to chance, I said. She laughed and we left.

Hopping into my whip, I raced across the city see the woman I love most in the world. When I arrived, she beamed and gave me a huge hug.

Her: How was your Easter weekend?
Me: Could have been better, mom. Could have been better.

Gave her a kiss on the cheek and went downstairs where I sat by my lonesome. Took a deep breath, bowed my head, and asked for some grace and mercy. I ate, washed and took some poison to sleep. Could have been better but could have been worse, I guess.

I told you, yeah? There’s always more room for down.

Location: on a new leather couch that’s not mine
Mood: so very tired
Music: pressure pressure pressure AAAAAAAhhh…pressure pressure pressure

Categories
personal

Something Came Up

Location: read below
Mood: full
Music: I know that you are not a child

I’ll be very impressed if you know this song.

Met a pretty scientist tonight. Yes, I didn’t know either.

Was supposed to meet a girlie for drink tonight but something came up. So instead, I went to a grand opening with Sheridan. But something came up with him.

No worries, I met up with Paul at The Naked Lunch instead. But he bailed too, because, you guessed it, something came up with him too. So I chatted up a girl that insisted I met her and made out with her friend last summer.

I didn’t, I said. Only later did Kung remind me that I did – and I did.

New venue: the Grey-eyed girl and Kung were all going across the street to some cafe. Was putting on my jacket when the scientist smiled at me.

You guys go ahead, something came up, I said.

Fifteen minutes later, I slipped her my info and slipped outside. Was going to meet everyone when another friend suggested we grab some cheap tacos around the way. Perfect.

Four tacos later, I was leaving the joint when Gio rang. So I swung by his loft. Want some chili? he asked. Sure. Cause I got zero self-control.

45 minutes later, I grabbed the subway home and thought that the night didn’t go anything like I thought it would. S’ok, though.

Life never does.

Categories
dating personal

Dressing for success

Location: 03:00 yest, bumping into a friend on Broadway
Mood: mischievous
Music: Again and again and again, I think I will break but I mend

Me: Oh for…why would you ask that now?
Her: Well, you have low, or no, creepiness factor and you dress well. A girl’s gotta know.
Me: I would think by now, you’d have figured it out.
Her: You could be bi.
Me: Oh for…

Been doing the online dating thing. Four months ago, it was about 90% RL and 10% online, then it flipped (please don’t search for me, that’s just stalkerish and weird). Lately, it’s about 50/50.

Dating in general is tiring – the constant hellos and goodbyes. But like most things, on the net it happens faster; the disappointing and disappointments zip by and I don’t even have time to register them. Still meeting lots of pescatarians. Don’t ask.

This weekend, I took a break. Friday, stayed in, cooked, and watched a Law & Order marathon. Saturday fenced and then Paul and I saw CaptainRedStar and crew. Ran into L – twice in a week. Bumped into each other earlier Tuesday at Candyfiend‘s party. We’re always so busy.

On another point entirely, decided to act and dress my age. There’s a story there, but it’s for next time. Guess I gotta start shopping at the Gap or something.

The other part’s harder – how does a 34 year-old act?

Categories
personal

Pathological / MyMusicRightNow

Location: 23:07 yest, outside Penn Station
Mood: entertained
Music: community.livejournal.com/mymusicrightnow

Someone wrote me an email recently saying that she was glad to find another hopeless single. Sweet sentiment and I’m clearly single. But I think I’m the opposite of hopeless.

Almost pathologically, stupidly so. Saw L, Sheridan, and TexasA tonight and had the following conversation while trying to sober up on a Tuesday night.

MiamiK: OK, I like how you did that, but how did you not see that rock on her left hand? I mean it was huge.

Me: (sighing) I’ve gotta make it a point to look at that damn left hand earlier. (laughing) Welcome to my world.

Paul: (commiserating) We’ll all been there, we’ve all been there.

Pathological. Because, in my head, there’s always tomorrow.

———-

If you like the music I listen to, or if you want to share some cool-but-not-well-known music, I started a music community. Come with?

Categories
personal

Music Week Day 3 – Charm attack -ish

To continue from my last post:

Me: OK, I’ll meet your friend.
Cain: Wait, you know Logan has a strict catch and release policy, right?
Her: What does that…oh…
Me: Hey! (sighing) Nevermind…

Time: 500(ish) Days
Dates: 80(ish)
Relationships: 5(ish)
Shortest: 2 weeks
Longest: 4 months (4.5 if you count the recidivism)
Dates this week: 2
Batting average: 80:0

I’m 35 in two months. Cain thinks I’m self-sabotaging, my parents think I’m not getting any younger, friends Rain questions if I’m gay.

They all think I’m the guy that’s just passing by, but I’m not. I’m killing time.

I told you then, I’m waiting for my person.

I’m still waiting.

Location: 10:30 yest, queuing at the bank
Mood: creative
Music: Well, I’m no savior But I tried to save you

Categories
personal

Music Week Day 2 – Not quite yet

Location: 15:30 & 19:00 yest, walking about the hood
Mood: disappointed
Music: you only want what everybody else says you should want

If you miss Freddie too, you’ll like this kid – he’s got pipes. Here’s another killer vid from him.

———-

Kemidra posted an interesting question in her blog and supported my parents’ theory that I’m attractive (bringing the total number of people that think that to three).

I wrote in my very first post that, for almost two decades, I wasn’t so much Logan as I was Loganandliz, or what have you – like Samanderic in Lord of the Flies. I was a unit as in: Let’s invite Loganandliz – they’re a cute couple!

It’s been 19 months and I gotta say, I like being single.

I don’t think you can have a good relationship with someone else if you’ve never fully fleshed out who you are. I mean what do you bring to the table if you’re defined by someone else?

Having said that, if I did meet the right girl at the right time for both of us, I’d stop being single in a heartbeat. Cause it doesn’t matter if you’re the disappointer or the diappointee – it’s fulla suck either way.

But sometimes, that’s how it’s gotta be. To quote St. Augustine again: da mihi castitatem et continentiam – sed noli modo

Give me chastity and continence – but not quite yet.

Categories
personal

George

I went on a blind date with a very cool and attractive, brown-eyed girl today.

Me: After all my fish died, I bought a bunch more and named them all George.
Her: (quizzical look)
Me: (nodding slowly) They’re pretty upset over the whole matter, too.
Her: (laughs) You should get a goldfish and call him Token because he’ll be the token goldfish.
Me: Well now, that’s just silly.

Also met a bevy of lovely Christian girls at a party on Friday. Weird thing is that when I found out they were Christian, I slipped into anywhere but church mode.

It’s a mental block.

Location: 14:00 yest., the 66th Street Barnes & Noble
Mood: hopeful
Music: I don’t believe that you, you don’t believe in me