Especially not her wedding
Rose: So, did you clean up at the wedding?
Me: No, not even close. I *grossly* underestimated how emotional it would be to (a) go to any wedding, let alone (b) the wedding of the woman that came every Wednesday to give Alison food.
My goal has been to cry less than five times a day. Most days, manage to keep it under three. Some days it’s just once. Those’re rare but welcome.
Cause a body gets tired of crying all the goddamn time.
A few months ago, told you about a woman named Annabel that cooked for us every Wednesday for over a year. Well, she just got married this past weekend.
It started pretty well. Hopped on the metro and sat next to a young lady wearing all white. I’ve been wearing all black since the day Alison passed.
Asked her to take a picture with me.
Then I got to the place in pretty good time and pretty good spirits.
But promptly lost it when Annabel saw me and gave me a hug. She looked beautiful, of course.
Reminded me of Alison on our wedding day.
Lemme tell you: I coulda died the day I saw I Alison on our wedding day and woulda died a happy man.
But I digress. Annabel sees me in the middle of taking pictures at the front of the ceremony and gives me a hug.
So there’s Annabel in her wedding gown – and she’s like the only soul I know there – hugging me in the middle of everything and I lose it.
Like I’m 10 and someone took my security blanket away. Which, I suppose, is kinda what happened.
Anywho, her entire family came over to try and console me.
Her mom: We pray for you.
He: I don’t believe he listens.
Turns out that, my max for not crying was about 30 minutes at a time. And I didn’t think to bring tissues so I’m running to the bathroom every half-hour.
Pretty sure some attendees thought I had food poisoning. (Food was great, BTW – I may have cleaned off an entire tray of steak myself)
After all that, I needed a drink. But it was a dry wedding. So I went with two people I met there for a beer around the way.
Later on, another woman, who caught me during cry number six or so, told me she had whiskey in a flask and gave me some of that.
Told the bride and groom that I wished them every good thing, which I did and do.
Me: (to groom) My married life was the happiest time in my life. (choking) I hope it is for you too.
Left early and made it home by 11PM.
The next day, a friend of mine – who just got married herself not that long ago and knows about my single life – asked me how it went so I told her, per the convo above.
Rose: You need to meet some old family-money type girls. Like trust fund babies.
Me: Yeah, these looks aren’t gonna last forever – especially in my advanced old age. I’m time limited.
Her: (laughing) Botox.
Me: I’ll have to botox my entire head.
The truth is that that’s not the entire story of the night.
And Gradgirl stopped by over the weekend but these are other stories for other times, I suppose.
Waitress: Do you want to start with some drinks?
Me: Oh, yes.
Location: home, drinking again
Mood: back to being heartbroken
Music: all out of love, I’m so lost without you