I dunno, it’s just something I do
There’s this sword movement done where a block is performed with the spine of the blade and the sword then rolls into a slash. It’s really cool looking and possibly one of the most beautiful sword movements that exists.
I noticed it years ago with another fencer and asked him what it was. He looked at me, puzzled. And said, I dunno, it’s just something I do. For him, it was nothing special, just part of his makeup.
I’ve alluded to this in the past, such as when people are extraordinarily proud to be Irish, or Chinese, or what have you. For most of us, myself included, being Chinese is simply something I am.
Having said this, since my wife and I got married, we do notice that there are few couples like us: Asian male and White female (AMWF). In fact when we’re out and about, we invariably remark to each other when we notice another couple like us.
I bring all of this up because I was in court yesterday kiling time and I came across this blog entry called Why Aren’t We Talking More About The Rarity of AMWF? – and it really made me think.
While it should be noted that the writer is a Caucasian writer living in China (very cool), it’s just as true here in the States, I think.
Regarding my own experiences, there are many friends I have now that I’ve only recently met. And the funny thing is that the version of me they know is not the version I actually think I am in my head.
In college, I dated a Korean girl for years. In law school, it was a Chinese med student. Then I dated a hapa. Then I just dated.
There’s a running joke with some of my friends from 2008 onward that I only dated Caucasians. Which my older friends would find funny because they thought I only dated Asians.
And yet neither is true. I dated whomever I liked.
This version of me is only the part they know. Had an argument with a dolt I met online via FB who immediately labeled me as a self-hating Chinese man, which only made me roll my eyes and move on with my life.
After all, I’m not another person’s opinion of what I am. I am, simply, what I am.
Getting back to the questions posed: Why are there so few Asian male, Caucasian female combinations?
I’m not sure.
Out and about, I was frequently the first and only Asian person many non-Asians dated. There were two common things they said. Either:
- I’ve never been attracted to an Asian guy before.
- No Asian has ever asked me out.
Regarding point one, a good deal of that has to do with exposure IMHO. If they don’t know any Asian men well, there’s no one to whom to be attracted.
As for point two, many of my male friends are:
- more strongly attracted to Asian females,
- more comfortable dating Asian female, or
- assuming that point one above is definitive – Non-Asian women are not attracted to Asian men.
I’ve never found number 3 to be true but this is just anecdotal to me and all of this is just my opinion.
I’m not really sure why I didn’t really think about it all that much while I was dating, mainly because – for me – it’s just something I did.
What do you think?
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