Dealing with the loss
I literally chugged the negroni I ordered, grabbed my stuff from coat check, and walked out to … just, a whirlwind of rain.
I’d literally never seen rain like this before. It was almost as if I was in a shower going full blast.
This is a video I made on the way to the concert. The rain on the way outta the concert was significantly worse. Significantly.
Made it to the yellow line station in Koreatown where I got onto a train that crawled into Time Square.
What normally would be a two-minute ride took closer to 15.
And when I left the train to transfer to my regular line, the signs were all flashing “delayed.”
Looking down onto the tracks, there was just a sea of humanity waiting for the next train.
I made a game-time decision to leave the station and try to get a taxi or Uber. Turns out that it was good that I did because RE Mike later told me that he ended up having to walk home in the rain from 38th to the village. Nuts.
As for my Uber, it was a whopping $59 for an uber ride that normally costs $15 but I grabbed it.
Presently, an older fella picked me up. Man, he was driving insanely slow. The buses and trucks around us were moving faster.
Me: Could you drive a little faster?
Him: (pointing out the window) There’s a rainstorm.
Me: I am aware.
He finally started moving a bit faster but it still took 20 minutes to get home, for what is typically a five minute ride.
As soon as I saw my building, I dashed out the door of the whip and went to the basement. A tenant was already bailing water when I arrived.
There wasn’t much else to do but start doing the same.
So, very drunk, for the next two hours, I was bailing water and tossing yet more of the kid and Alison’s stuff.
What I got rid of is mostly stuff that is personal to me and not worth discussing. Except for my Xmas tree.
I told you when Alison and I bought the tree almost a decade ago. I have such fond memories of it. It gutted me to get rid of it. It was a good little plastic Xmas tree.
Because it was our first year, we didn’t have any ornaments for it yet.
Below’s a picture of our first Xmas dinner together. The tree would be on your left if you’re reading this. I made Coq au Vin, and she made a salad of goat cheese and pears.
Shit, fuck me.
For a moment, I was trying to think of a way of salvaging it when I realized that Alison woulda just tossed it versus allowing something that might make the kiddo sick into the house. So I did. But it was difficult.
The next day, I took inventory of everything I lost from this latest round of flooding. Speaking to my therapist, we discussed it.
Her: You talk a lot about loss and losing things. That seems to be a theme in your life.
Me: Not by choice, doc. Definitely, not by choice. Nothing gold ever stays.