Category: personal

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personal

Logan the Suit

I meet someone new every night

 

Was in an office all day yesterday so there’s no excitement there. And I’m in court today.

I’ve become that which I always never wanted to be (again): a suit, running after a check.

———-

That’s a pic I took at like 4AM on the red line going downtown from this past weekend. A good bunch of females ‘n fellas.

I think I’ve said it before: I don’t have a problem meeting people, I have a problem connecting with people.

Her: (non·plussed) You meet people every weekend? I don’t believe that.
Me: (shrugging) It’s true.
Her: Who’d you meet this weekend?
Me: You.

Smooth right? Don’t be impressed; as an ex once said, I’m a talker (glattzüngig).

It only lasts for as long as it lasts.

Location: on a flower-print sofa, plotting
Mood: pensive
Music: I’m not perfect I wanted to be I have this big mouth It always contradicts me

Categories
personal

Yet here we are

Location: 20:30 yest, in my apartment wondering, what if
Mood: resigned
Music: Lord listen lover you’re all missing something I don’t got

What a day. But I made payroll.

I worked the weekend but met up with some friends and the two girls I met from Boston, Anna and W. I usually ask people to draw a picture of themselves if they give me their number – those’re their drawings from when we met. They were actually some of the last pics I ever got; I decided a while ago to stop asking for numbers and instead just give out mine. I figure if someone wants chat to with me, they will.

But I digress. It was nice to see them again.

W: I never thought we’d meet again.

Me: And yet here we are.

Speaking of random meetings, on Saturday, I went to my first 2007 holiday party in Harlem. At 3AM, a bunch of us decided to call it a night and we walked over to the subway. But it was closed. So we hoofed it a half-mile downtown to the next station. I didn’t know any of them when the night started but there we were dashing down 5th Avenue at an ungodly hour.

Something to remember when I’m an old man.

Me: I find it hard to believe that you don’t meet anyone in NYC. A pretty single girl here’s like chum in shark-infested waters.

Her: (laughing) I’m not a man-whore like you.

Me: I don’t see what the problem is. And you have such nice green eyes.

Her: (surprised) You noticed my eye color?

Me: Yeah, (nodding) it’s my thing.

I had a nice weekend. And yet here we are.

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personal

Theme Song

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?


I gotta make payroll & rent Monday so I’ll post on Tuesday. Clearly, the most logical thing would be to rob a bank.

So I’ll be busy…plotting…

———-

If your life was a TV show, what would it be it’s theme song? I got a few. But if I had to chose just one, it would be Overkill.

Like I said, the insomnia’s back; I don’t actually mind being alone between the sheets. I do mind the lying there awake though.

So I get up and go for a walk. I’ve lived here my whole life and the last several women I’ve seen have been from around the way. I’ve run into a few of them over the past several months. I got memories on every corner.

In other words, on every corner, ghosts appear and fade away.

At least there’re pretty lights.

———-

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it’s just my imagination
Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
Its time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there’s pretty lights
And though there’s little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Location: 13:00 yest, Paterson, NJ City Hall
Mood: indescribable
Music: at night I worry over situations

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personal

So great

It would be so great if I could just fall asleep

Today I spent most of the day in court. That’s bad enough but my mind’s also really cloudy cause the insomnia’s back. It made a bad situation worse.

Think I might post less because I’m worried I’m gonna start sounding insane. I’m writing constantly.

Couldn’t sleep at all the other night so I got up and made chili – here’s the recipe with pics if you’re interested.

Most nights, I’m just walking about town. The thing about my neighborhood is that there’s always something to see. There’s always something for the singular.

Maybe I’ll fall asleep and have nice dreams tonight. That would be great.

That would be so _______ great.

Location: 21:21 yest, trying to find parking in NYC
Mood: so freaking tired
Music: these words are my diary, screaming out loud

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personal

Cappy got hitched

My old college buddy got married

Why do you got the friends the friends you got?

I met Cap in HS at a party in, of all places, a Jewish synagogue. One of us bummed a cig from the other. Don’t remember. We were both going to Cornell. He’d look me up, he said.

We kept running into each other – even once at Broadway & 8th over a weekend – but were never really close. While he became a BMOC, I was hustling in the City most weekends.

But, causa some drama, Junior year I was living outta my whip when I ran into him again. He said I could crash with him and his crew for whatever I could spare – I think I paid about $150 a month.

My clearest memory from all of college is of this one absolute crap night. I remember sitting in the kitchen hating when Cap walked in. Like me, he was always up causa this or that.

The worst part, I said, my CD player broke. How’s that for a kick in the head? He thought for a bit, walked into his room, and came out with his old CD player. He handed it to me and said had another one.

Here’s the thing; he and I were just about the two poorest kids in the house. This is when they cost as much as an Ipod. It meant more than you can imagine. More than I’m capable of writing. I’m just not that good. 14+ years later, I still remember what CD was in it.

Speaking of 14, Cappy eloped with his chick of 14 years. Yeah, you read right. I heard the news today. I’d wish them luck if I thought they needed it.

Ah, just as well – my luck’s not the kind people want anyway.

Location: 19:45, emptying the wastebaskets in my office
Mood: nostalgic
Music: Who’s gonna come around When you break?

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personal

Eponine

We are all we know

The subway’s never empty. Unless you’re an insomniac. Then they’re empty a hellva lot.

———-

Thought about some of the people I’ve met recently and in the not-so-distant past. For some strange reason, I also thought of a girl I dated once. It’s the fall.

Part of the reason I think I liked her was because she said that every person that ever went out with her treated her like crap (I’m weird like that). When she told me that, I thought of Eponine from Les Mis.

The book’s a little different from the musical. In the book, there’s this one scene where she’s tossed a stale piece of bread. Starving, she pounces on it like a crazed animal. The hard bread hurts her teeth but she says that she knows the bread is good because it’s hard.

See, Eponine has no concept that there’s such a thing as bread that’s not rotten and not hard. It’s all she knows.

Tried to treat the ex nicely – never did find out if she she thought I did. Random, right?

As for me, well, my friends think I’m lucky because so many people enter and exit my Venn Diagram.

I’m not sure. You see, it’s all I know…

Location: 20:30, getting caught in some rain in Bayside
Mood: exhausted
Music: through the clouds Memories come rushing up to meet me now

Categories
dating personal

Thanksgiving 2007

Went on a five hours date at the museum

After Thanksgiving dinner, I always meet up with my HS friend, the Professor, for coffee at his folks. It’s a nice tradition I look forward to each year.

After that, I meet up with Johnny; he’s a multimillionaire who owns 17 patents. Chances are pretty good you own something he made.

The interesting thing is that he’s also the guy that first truly taught me how to fight. A mugger once pulled a gun on him but he…well, Johnny did bad things to him. He and I have our own traditions:

Niece: Uncle Johnny and Logan are fighting again.
Someone: Don’t break anything!
Johnny: (to me) What rules do you want?
Me: No elbows, no knees – oh, and no closed fists to the face, I’ve got a date tomorrow morn…
Johnny: (punching me in gut) Don’t be such a baby.

Friday morning, I woke up, ate a ton of ibuprofen and met up with a pretty Italian attorney. Our date went from coffee around the way at 11:12, to pizza in Times Square at 14:00, to saying goodbye after the Butterfly Conservatory at 18:20. We laughed so much, I can’t even tell you.

But we’re both swamped with work and she’s off for business next weekend. I guess things’ll happen however they happen.

I stayed in Friday night and most of Saturday to work but did venture out for a bit on Saturday night. I met an almost pescatarian, blond, Jersey girl that spoke German to me and told me I looked 26 when I asked. I also met a cigarette-smoking, brunette, Brooklyn girl that spoke Chinese to me and told me she was single when I didn’t ask.

Sunday, more work.

And now (deep breath) it’s Monday.

Location: 16:00 yest, taking a walk with a friend around the hood
Mood: thoughtful
Music: the sirens sing so sweet and watched the sailors go down

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personal

Priority

Happy Turkey Day 2007

I’m at my parents having a pre-Thanksgiving Day dinner. My mom travels a lot for work so I don’t get to see her as much as I would like. We were catching up.

Me: …so if all that works out, I should be out of this hole in about 30 to 36 months.
Her: But what about your priority?
Me: (puzzled) My priority?
Her: Marriage!
Me: (laughing) That’s really like the last thing on my mind.
Her: What about kids?
Me: OK, I was wrong, that’s the last thing on my mind.
Her: It’s your priority!
Me: It’s really not, mom.
Her: OK, it’s mine. (long pause) I mean…you’re not getting any younger….

You know you’ve reached a new point in your life when your mother says the words, You’re not getting any younger to you and you’re wearing a Pink Floyd – The Wall tee-shirt eating a third helping of carbohydrates.

Yes, a new point.

Happy Turkey Day guys.

Location: 19:23 yest, having the conversation below
Mood: full already
Music: They say people in your life are seasons And anything that happen is for a reason

Categories
personal

Oh mercy, mercy me

What if we’re on the wrong side?

Cain (a captain in the army): My favorite is: Do you want a little captain in you? (wiggles eyebrows)
Her: (thinking then laughing) Ewwwww.
Me: OK, back to me. Basically I think the only people I can date right now are lawyers and tourists.
Her: Ah, you want someone who has no time for you or is gone.
Me: (nodding) I can’t think of anything else right now. That’s why I’m the third wheel here tonight.

———-

Wish I had something cool to tell you but I spent the day in an office. So…no. I’ve got nothing to report.

OK, I did drink my night away with Cain and a new friend, who’s a litigator and my favorite waitress in the world. Was too hammered to tell them this joke but I’ve sobered up somewhat so here goes:

There’re these two Christians that’re thrown to the these starving lions. One guy says to the other, “Fear not, the good Lord will be merciful to us.”

To which the other dude goes, “How do you know the good Lord won’t be merciful to the lions?

That’s pretty much how I feel right now.

Location: 11:00 yest, on the phone asking for a favor
Mood: sotted
Music: where did all the blue sky go?

Categories
personal

You idiot, you killed it

I’m many things these days, bored is not one of them

Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It

Well, that sounds about right.

———-

Had to go onto the roof to fix a broken piece of glass (long story) on Sunday so I put on my winter jacket and made my way up.

Soon, I’m standing on my rooftop looking around the city. It’s early yet and cold so most of the city’s still inside. The wind’s blowing like mad and I’m slightly scared as there’s no railing. But as I start to work, I think about the weekend.

One minute, I’m in meetings with banks trying to hustle scratch for my business. Then I’m negotiating percentages in Chinese wearing my best tie (with a girlie secretly printed on the back of it) on a Saturday. Then I’m speaking German to a waitress in SoHo while explaining to a tall blond what an Alsterwasser/Radler is. Then I’m telling a girl in Ray’s Pizza @ St. Marks that I’m not 24. Then I’m watching a chick hang upside down in a train. Then, six hours later, I’m on a roof trying to fix a window and not get blown off.

Later that night, I’m in church (where I bumped Gshok again), and I run into a girl I met a while back but never mentioned and I came this close to asking for her number – couldn’t do it though.

Again, anywhere but church.

Anyway, I’m on this roof and I’m thinking, well, at least you’re not bored.

Yep. Boredom? That I ain’t got.

Location: 20:05, Times Square catching the uptown red
Mood: entertained
Music: Living life too close to the edge hoping that I know the ledge