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Great Expectations

Everyone I ever liked was some form of Estella

Dickens actually wrote two endings for the book – in the published version, you don’t know what happens to the two of them.

In the original, Dickens had Pip realize that he loved the girl that was cruel. And that girl was gone. The good girl left behind, wasn’t the one he loved.

I can relate. Think all the women I’ve ever had a thing for was some version of Estella. Interesting, eh?

I would love to meet a girl with that name. There was this Korean girl Stella whom I had a crush on. When we got our yearbooks, she wrote, You should have asked me out, I woulda said yes.

Argh! It’s why I don’t tell people things like that.

Other names I like:

  • Alexis – damn, that’s sexy
  • Amanda – just dated one
  • Marie – just met one from France, seeing her soon
  • Melissa/Melody/Molly – no explanation
  • Yve/Yvonne – massive elementary school crush
  • Many French/German/Russian names – Tajania, Katja
  • Many Japanese names – Naomi, Marimo

Once dated a girl who was Frau Zuzanne D’Longe – that was just hot.

Just walked in from a date.

Keep wondering if it’s better to have expectations or to have none.

Location: -30 mins telling her, I’m going in again
Mood: sotted
Music: I’d just like to know do you love him or just making time

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personal

Seven more things you might not know about me

Doing another meme – it’s what we do…

I’m doing the following meme as a followup to something similar a while back. So here are seven more things you might not have known about me:

  1. I paid for part of college by working in NYC clubs. I’m hard of hearing in one ear because of it.
  2. Unless due to (a) work or (b) a prior engagement – and much like that girl in high school everyone talks about – I never say no to a party.
  3. I’m a TV addict and built a machine that can record 750 hours of TV – cause I’m a geek.
  4. Prior to 8/2006, I only ever kissed 10 girlies. Since then, I’ve kissed a few more.
  5. I really quit my job to be a competitive fighter six years ago but then I got injured in training (dammit). I tell people I quit to write so I don’t have to tell the story.
  6. I’ve saved 10% of everything I’ve ever made since I was 14. Because of that, I own my apartment and have for the past three years. I have no debt besides the mortgage (and my bookie).
  7. I miss being 8. We were poor but I was always happy. I remember my mom brought me to the doc because she worried that I was daft – I’d stand and stare at the blue sky for hours.

My mom doesn’t know that, 26 years later, I still do it – shhhhhhh don’t tell her.

She worries.

Location: 10PM yest, at Bourbon St asking her if she knows
Mood: chipper
Music: there’s no place that I could be without you honestly

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Nighthawks

Edward Hopper’s painting is still relevant even now

 

There were about 7.3 million people here in NYC in 1990. Now we’re at over 8.2 million – essentially double that of LA with about 14% more adult females than adult males.

That’s a lotta people.

Funny thing is, the names and faces change, but the people are always the same.

The painting above is of the Village in ’42, just after Pearl Harbor.

You got the counterman and the nighthawks – the people out on the hunt for something, someone. The counterman’s looking out. He’s probably got a family, so he wants to go. The nighthawks?

They got no one. They’re in no rush.

But look close. There’s no door; no windows that open. They’re on display. It’s all justa show.

And the guys? It’s the same guy. A copy of a copy.

I had some stories of the weekend but I told them to you already.

Nighthawks all got the same story; millions of people but few connections.

Yeah, we’re all here in the same place, the same joint.

But in 8.2 million different worlds.

Location: 4PM yest, Columbus Circle meeting someone
Mood: relieved
Music: Kennedy and Monroe come to see my rock show
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Got a pen?

I’m also meeting a lot of lesbians for some reason

In addition to the Swedish girls, I met a bunch of really attractive lipstick lesbians/bisexuals this past weekend.

Girl 1
Me: Why are you giving me your number?
Her: If you wanna call me, call me, if you don’t, f___ off.
Me: OK. Just to be clear, you mostly like the girlies, yeah?
Her: Yeah, and? (pause) Y’know, gimme back my f____ number.

Girl 2
Her: So what’s your story?
Me: I’m looking for Ms. Right in the big city.
Her: (laughing) Funny, so am I.

The second girl and I have swapped a few emails; she’s in a similar profession. She’s very nice – she’s also a full-on Jewish lesbian. I’m sure she’s a pescatarian from NJ too but I didn’t ask.

Seem to get along with girlies that like the girlies. Modern America.

In the book, Logan’s Run, I’d be 13 years post prime; in the movie, I’d be 4.

Either way, I’m last year’s model.

This week, because of the accident, I did some reassessing. I found out that I was deleted by some people.

And I deleted some people – friends, former loves, acquaintances and about two dozen people I’m embarrassed to say that I just don’t remember.

Some I’ve known for a few days and some I’ve known for 14 years.

I’ve blinked and it’s 2007.07.18. One of you should have called me to let me know that I’m an anachronism.

Sent an email. Even a text. Telegram, maybe?

Something.

———-

Speaking of telegrams, damn that AT&T.;

Here’s 2% of why I hate them; there’s another 98% I could tell you.

Location: 1PM yest., on the BQE to Staten Island
Mood: hella busy
Music: Just get to me I don’t care just get to me

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100th Post

Would it matter if I was?

This is my 100th post.

This weekend, I had the last of my birthday celebrations with my college friends. They like to celebrate in nice places with nice tableware.

Me? Burgers and wings, please. Gio and Hazel brought me out for more of the same the day before. Anything else will spoil me.

I had a weird conversation with a Rain recently:

Him: I gotta ask, are you gay?
Me: First of all, no. Second of all, what?
Him: I had to ask.
Me: Now? You’ve known me for almost ten years! Now? Would it matter if I were?
Him: Stop being a lawyer, and no. It just came up.
Me: It just came up?
Him: It just came up.
Me: Do you even read my blog?
Him: Does anyone?

I’m not – not that there’s anything wrong with it. There is no bigger fan of the female form. Someone overheard that I’ve had relations with two bisexual women, but I guess they didn’t hear that last part.

But I do have to say that I’m not even sure why women like men.

If I was a woman, I would be a raging lesbian.

Raging.

Location: 7:15 AM, in my car, rushing to midtown
Mood: Content
Music: they collide until the blue-eyed girl decides to let me go home

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Pandora

What was the last thing in Pandora’s Box?


They opened a new Amish school house in Pennsylvania the other day.

Hopeful is good.

I think.

Have you ever actually read about Pandora’s box? Yes, she unleashed all of life’s misery but did you know that Hope was the final thing in the box? It was also the only thing Pandora managed to trap.

Eventually, Hope escaped.

There are two ways to look at this, either:

  • Hope is the one thing that counteracts all the crap life throws your way; OR
  • Hope is the worst of all evils because when you’re let down, well…I’m sure you’ve been let down before so, you know.

Always thought it was the former. In my late nights, I’m not sure. I think it may be the latter.

I would like it to be the former, but, then again, I would like a lot of things.

Location: @3:30, crossing the 59th St. Bridge
Mood: sad
Music: read my mind love What a tale my thoughts would tell

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personal

Bad Robot…bad

Robots and computers always turn evil. Always.

One thing I do share with my buddy Rain is his irrational suspicions of robots. As he noted, Honda has come up with a robot that runs. Look at this little bugger go!

Man, have we as a collective learned nothing from the likes of the Terminator Trilogy, a Space Odyssey or Battlestar Galatica?!

Between this and global warming, we are totally screwed.

Robots and computers always turn evil. Always.

Unless they’re hot like Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner.

That’s ok.
Location: at home working
Mood: sad
Music: lost without u can’t help myself

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personal

The River

Where does the name “Luo” or “Lo” come from?

Yesterday, I met a couple going to Beijing and a boy studying Chinese. It made me remember my younger days.

There was a time when your last name told something about what you did or where you came from.

I once briefly saw a woman named Zelle, meaning cabinet in German. She figured some ancestor made cabinets. That, or hid bodies inside them.

My name was won by some ancestor who did some great deed and was asked by the emperor what he wanted. Like all good Chinese, he said, simply, “Land.”

So, 1200 years ago, he was given a tract of land in northern China in the Bing Province with a river on it – the Luo River.

Fast forward to 20070402, and I’m Lo/Luo version 120b.

Imagine if we started over again today.

We’d have names like, “Pete Accountmanager” or “Mandy Producer.” Or names like, “Edward Google,” “Sandy Fresh Direct” or “John Morgan Stanley.”

OK, maybe that last one works. You get my point.

1201 years of work and I’m the result. It’s humbling and laughable.

I know where I come from.

But where am I going?

Location: @3:00AM, in the 80s, looking for a cricket
Mood: tired
Music: You should turn yourself around and come on home

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25 things you may not know about me

What are things people don’t know about you?

I:

  1. type 75 words a minute but have a hard time spelling.
  2. have a happy face in my eye at the main picture up there on the upper left-hand corner – take a look.
  3. cannot play any team sports and have never watched a superbowl game but know an esoteric fencing system.
  4. have never cheated on anyone.
  5. wake up and do 50 push-up and 100 crunches because I can’t afford a gym.
  6. like Jaerik, must climb stairs two at a time – yes, I look like an idiot but that’s not for you to judge. I usually bound up them unless there are lots of people or am beat.
  7. hate the summer and heat.
  8. can do a side split without warming up (don’t ask).
  9. can outeat most people. I can also eat burgers, pizza and gyros every day for a month and still want more. I will not put ketchup on my burger.
  10. have had serious relationships with two people that appeared on a Rachel Ray show and a Fox News show.
  11. always send out those freebie sweepstakes they mail you because I once won $1000 on iwon.com and $800 on Cash Cab.
  12. can’t drive stick-shift, something that drove my German ex-girlfriend crazy.
  13. rarely curse, only started drinking less than eight months ago and have never done drugs.
  14. lived for two years in a room hidden behind a bookcase off Times Square.
  15. miss my dog and wish I were nicer to him.
  16. call my brother almost every day and see the rest of my family once a week.
  17. read 850 words a minute with 50% comprehension and 650 WAM with full comp. I read somewhere in between
  18. never bought a textbook in college after freshman year because I couldn’t afford them. I took good notes and dated the TAs when necessary. I’m not proud.
  19. avoid juice and cereal even though I love them both.
  20. once turned really quickly on a flight of stairs and slammed my face into Tyra Bank’s boobs.
  21. would give up 40 points of IQ to be able to sleep like my last two girlfriends.
  22. am afraid of dying without making up for all the bad things I’ve done.
  23. was going to be a pastor but decided I would be a bad role model.
  24. am extremely clumsy. When I met an ex’s family, I spilled my drink on her grandmother. I’ve also had surgery on my face because I fell down a flight of stairs and the left side of my face was crushed in.
  25. am a hopeless romantic and wished my love life worked out like in the movies.

Ok…you probably guessed the last one.

Location: @1:30AM, on the N with L and a new girl.
Mood: tired
Music: with a sunny smile and a witty eye and you may find a smiling guy

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personal

VINDICATION!

Just had to post…

“JAMA…compared four diets from low-carb to high-carb and put Atkins on top. Not just for weight loss but for health improvements as well.”

I’m holding onto the Atkins dream.

Damn that Mac & Cheese.

Damn it all to hell…

Location: freezing in apartment
Mood: excited
Music: long lonely days, when it seems I did not have a friend