Tag: good things

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personal

A Double-Date in NJ

A reason to live in the burbs

Me: I’m not sure I should head to the gym. I’ve got so much to do.
Her: Go. You missed so many days that it’ll be good to clear your head.
Me: OK.

Because I had COVID, I lost a solid week of projects that I was planning to do while the kid was away.

As soon as I felt better, I threw myself into my unchanged list of tasks to do.

One major thing I’d not done in years was to clean out all the kid’s old toys, clothes, and papers from the past two years. After three days, his room still just looked like it vomited up everything.

Now, the Firecracker and I were supposed to head out to see Pac and his girl for dinner but I didn’t think I could make it.

Pretty much told him we weren’t going to come because once I got back from the gym, it would be a solid six more hours of work that I needed to do to make it in time to toss everything for that week’s trash and recycling.

But when I got back, the Firecracker intercepted me.

Her: Hey, I wanna show you something.
Me: Do I have to? I’m so beat.
Her: Yeah. I think you’ll like it.

It turns out that, while I was gone she spent two hours cleaning up the kid’s room and did in two hours what woulda taken me four hours. So, I had two hours to wrap it all up.

Me: Well, it looks like we’ll be there tonight.
Pac: Great! Come by at 6PM.

So, after I did what I could with the kid’s room, off we went.

It was raining when we left but we arrived at Port Authority with just three minutes to spare for the next bus.

Her: If you navigate, I’ll buy tickets on my phone.
Me: Sold!

So, while she was face down on her phone buying tickets, I got us to the right gate in two minutes and 30 seconds. We arrived just moments before the bus pulled out.

Now, we thought we took the wrong bus because we didn’t know it first went south before heading north (Pac lives in the north part of NJ) but we ended up being right on time.

Pac and his girl were just great. Turns out that she has a green thumb, something I aspire to.

Me: These plants are just amazing! I never thought of having a succulent garden.
Him: She has them as a kinda meditative thing.
Me: Oh man, my plants just give me agita.

We brought some alcohol while they ordered a ton of fried Korean chix, which we demolished.

Afterward, we played a game of Exploding Kittens, which I lost and came in last…

…then a game of Spot It, which I lost and came in last.

Me: This stinks!
Firecracker: Oh, you’re just mad because you keep losing.
Me: Well, yeah…

We ended up just chatting until late.

Afterward, we grabbed a Lyft home.

Her: Your friends are really nice. We should invite them over some day.
Me: Sure. Pac’s by alla time but it’d be nice to have him and his girl over one day.
Her: Would you ever live out here in the burbs, Logan Lo?
Me: Maybe. If I had a good reason.
Her: (nodding) Maybe you’ll have one, someday.

Location: Paxibellum, shooting more Scenic Fights and getting more crotches tossed into my face
Mood: potentially seriously messed up. I’ll tell you later on if I am
Music: Its gettin hot in here (so hot) (Spotify)
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An infinite capacity for taking things for granted

Got COVID…yet again

Firecracker: Take a COVID test.
Me: What? Don’t be ridiculous. There’s no way I have COVID again. I already had it three times, I’m double vaxxed and double boosted.
Her: Just take one. You have a million tests, anywho.
Me: (sighing) I guess you’re right.
Her: (later) Well?
Me: I HAVE @#$@#$@ COVID AGAIN! FOUR TIMES NOW!

Felt like hot trash for the past few days.

The two people I rolled with the day before AND the Firecracker – who spent every single day with me – did not get it.

My luck runs ever true.

The fella that wrote Brave New World once said, Most human being have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

Thought about that tonight because I’m constantly reminded of my possible pasts that I didn’t realize would be so short and special to me in hindsight.

See, I’ve been clearing out stuff in the house and had to head down to the basement, which I’ve not done in a while because the basement scares me, greatly.

Not because of the spiders, or mice, or whatnot, but because of ghosts.

Well, that’s not wholly true because they’re not ghosts per se, but apparitions in my head.

Remember when alla that flooding happened and I told you that I lost most of Alison’s things then? That was true. But I still find things.

Tonight, I found a box of a 101 cookie cutter shapes. Alison got them when she was pregnant with one of the kids we lost.

She had all these dreams of making sugar cookies and tree ornaments for our children.

They’ve never been used.

And I found bags and bags of the kid’s clothes when he was younger.

See, I saved every single goddamn shirt and pants. Because I thought that, maybe one day, I’d have another fatty to call my own. And he, or she, would need some clothes.

And a crib, and a stroller, and a changing bed, and toys…

But alla that seems less and less likely now.

One of the (many) things about Alison that I adored was how unsentimental she was. As long as she had a picture of something she loved, that was good enough for her.

Coming from a poor background, my family slanted towards hoarding while her priorities were cleaniness and order. She always encouraged me to let things go.

So, I started giving away a lotta of the kid’s old clothes and things.

And I’ll probably give away these cookie cutters as well.

Alison would have.

Spoke to my therapist recently.

Therapist: How have you been?
Me: Besides getting COVID for the 4th time, pretty well.
Her: (smiles) You seem it. Tell me what’s been going on.
Me: Things have been going really well with the Firecracker and me. She understands, better than most, having alla these hopes and dreams and then having them suddenly disappear.
Her: That’s great, what else?
Me: (thinking) I think that for a long time, I’ve been unable to truly accept that this is my life. I think that for the past…Jesus Christ…seven years, I’ve been fighting – both subconsciously and consciously – the reality that is my life.
Her: And now?
Me: I don’t really have any other choice, do I?
Her: I’m proud of you, Logan. That’s a good step. You should be proud of yourself as well.
Me: I’m not sure I’d go that far, yet. But I’m trying to be better.
Her: (nods)

Location: my basement, sans COVID, thinking of my possible pasts
Mood: thoughtful
Music: the trace of a memory, stained into the past (Spotify)
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The 4th of July weekend, Pt 2

Catching fireworks with the Firecracker

Her: I’ve been here all this time and I’ve never seen the fireworks.
Me: Well, it’s not my thing but I’m sure we can figure something out.
Her: Fireworks for the Firecracker – we’ve gotta do it, Lo!

My cousin, Ras, just moved in LIC and had an outdoor space so the Firecracker and I were supposed to head there after dinner but Ras cancelled last minute.

But it was fine, we were in LIC anywho so just scouted around for a place to watch the fireworks.

For those of you not in NYC, Long Island City in Queens and Midtown East in Manhattan are the two best places to catch the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks because they’re held on the east side.

As a native New Yorker, I’ve spent my life trying to avoid going to these things but the Firecracker’s not originally from around here, so I figured I’d take her.

First, we went to a tiny, tiny, tiny, restaurant called Carla.

Afterward, we walked around looking for a spot to catch the fireworks.

We walked for a looooooong time.

Because not every place was suitable.

Her: No, Logan Lo.
Me: Now, hear me out…

We did not go there.

We did, however, do our civic duty and killed a lanternfly nymph that we saw – first one for 2023.

We ended up walking past the gym I’d gone to while the lockdown was in place.

The streets were already insanely crowded and the Firecracker was getting a headache, so we just popped into a Thai restaurant and ordered a few drinks as well as more food.

They had paper umbrellas in their drinks.

While there, the fireworks started and everyone left the restaurant.

We were the only people there.

So, I quickly grabbed a corner table that actually had a good view of the fireworks.

It was like we had a private room.

After a bit, we decided to leave a bit early to avoid the rush.

Which was near impossible because of the crush of people around us.

But it was fine because that meant that we could watch more of the fireworks, anywho.

A friend of mine once told me that the 4th of July was for family.

This was the first 4th in a while that I’d spent with anyone in years but it definitely felt right.

Me: Maybe next year, we can just watch them at home on the television, yeah?
Her: Sure, Lo. Next year. Maybe.
Me: (nodding) I’ll take maybe.

Location: home with COVID, still
Mood: a bit less COVIDy
Music: there’s a spark in you, you just gotta ignite the light (Spotify)
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The 4th of July weekend, Pt 1

Making sense

The Firecracker and I ended up heading out to Gar and Wynn’s place in Long Island for the 4th of July weekend.

It was supposed to rain for most of the day, so we just spent time out at the pool for a bit.

Rick: Go down the slide, I’ll hold the raft there.
Me: I dunno…
Him: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the raft is there when you come down.

That was somewhat true. I couldn’t keep my balance and kept falling into the pool.

The Firecracker didn’t have that issue.

I brought out Codenames, which I don’t think I’ve played in close to five years.

Me: Bale (for cotton).
Him: Bail? Oh, like in court?
Me: No…
Firecracker: No cheating!
Me: I’m just clarifying!
Her: Cheater!

I’d meant “bale” of cotton.

Afterward, we went out to a combo Chinese hot pot/Korean BBQ place.

The Firecracker never had hot pot before so I made her a sauce for it.

She was not a fan of the sauce I made.

Her: I’ll make my own.
Me: Rude!

However, she was a fan of the hot pot itself.

I essentially stuffed my face for 90 minutes straight.

Katsmw: You know Logan’s busy eating when he’s quiet for over an hour.
Me: (nods, continues to eat)

Rick thought it would be funny if he told the staff it was Gar’s birthday. Which he did and it was not.

It was late when we got back.

Her: I like your friends. They’re all successful and nice; that’s a good combo.
Me: I try to avoid loser friends that are mean.
Her: Makes sense.

Location: home, in bed with COVID for the 4th time
Mood: COVIDy
Music: We should be reckless, doing the things we know we shouldn’t do (Spotify)
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Four bars, one night, and a free TV

Using useless information

I’m really behind in alla my posts, sorry.

But I’m trying to catch up.

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid were away, plus she was in the middle of moving, so I ended up helping her schlepp her stuff here and there.

Her: We have to bring this TV to my new place so I can give it away.
Me: What?! That’s ridiculous. It’s gonna rain soon. Just slap a sign on it that it’s a free TV and someone’ll take it.
Her: Are you sure? I’d hate for it to end up in a landfill.
Me: Trust me.

It was gone in a few hours.

After a full day of that and a million other errands, we decided to treat ourselves afterwards to a drink at a local bar.

We got some appetizers…

…and drinks.

But the night seemed super early yet.

Me: Do you wanna go someplace else?
Her: With you? Sure!

We soon found ourselves at my old bar Malachy’s – which just had a major face-lift – where we had some rum and diet coke.

But I was, of course, still hungry.

Her: I know a place near my old apartment with board games and $6 burgers.
Me: You had me at $6 burgers.

She was looking for the perfect game and found a trivia one called, I should have known that!

Her: Who wrote Robinson Crusoe?
Me: Daniel Defoe. Hey, did you know that it was based on a real person named Alexander Selkirk? Just before he died, he dreamt of being back on his island.
Her: You know a lotta useless information, Lo.
Me: We’re using it right now!

Of course, I ended up spilling hot sauce all over the cards.

Her: LOGAN! I can’t bring you anywhere.
Me: (sighing) Evidently not. I’ll get some paper.

After several drinks and food, we walked outta the bar.

Me: I want more food.
Her: We can get some chicken sandwiches and a pina colada over at Tiki Chick.
Me: Sold!

While the Firecracker went to the restroom, I chatted with the manager.

Me: Where in Africa are you from?
Him: Sengal.
Me: Oh. I loved a girl once that worked in Dakar.
Him: Really? That’s so great. Was that her?
Me: (shaking head) No. No, that’s my girlfriend. The girl from Dakar was…someone else. She…got sick.
Him: Oh. (gently) Your girlfriend is very pretty.
Me: (nodding) I think so too. Thanks.

Location: earlier tonight, walking all over LIC so the Firecracker could see the fireworks for the first time.
Mood: full and tired
Music: Come along, baby, we better make a start (Spotify)
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It’s Summertime again

New traditions

Years ago, Alison and I were taking a walk in the hood when we came across a fella at a street fair near our pad selling these cool oversized coasters.

Alisons loved them and picked out four large ones; they’re still the ones I use to this day.

Fast forward to the weekend after last and kid and I were hanging out with the Firecracker and her kid at another street fair when I met the same guy.

Me: I bought a buncha these from you years ago. We chatted about cameras.
Him: (big smile) I remember you!

Dunno if he really did, but it was nice for him to say.

I told the kid he could pick any four of the smaller sized ones and I’d get them for him; he did, so I did.

Him: Do you like them?
Me: You picked them out, so I like them.

Since it was the end of the school year, I told the kid he could have anything he wanted for dinner.

Despite us seeing some gorgeous dumplings and authentic German bratwurst…

…this is what he choose.

In my defense, I ate the vast majority of it all.

Him: Are you still hungry?!
Me: …well, I could eat a little…
Him: Papa!

Well, I could…

Dropped him with my in-laws for a spell – as I did last year.

It’s bittersweet, like most things with me, that we have these new traditions, he and I. But it’s not supposed to be like this.

Nuthin is as it was supposed to be.

I spent the day out with him in NJ and had a nice Afghani dinner before I left.

Me: I’ll miss you.
Him: I’ll come back!

It was just as well. There’s been alla this stuff that I needed to do around the house.

For example, there were years of leaks into my basement that I needed to fix…

…years.

So, I finally got that done.

Pac swung by to pick my (legal) brain for a project of his and brought over some pan-fried chix and ribs from Charles Pan-Fried Chicken.

He originally wanted some Cuban-Chinese around me but I told him that our buddy Half-man said this place was the bomb – the last time I had it was with the NFL Player.

Him: Man, this was definitely the better choice!
Me: Agreed!
Him: I may have gotten a little excited and bought too much stuff.

He did not.

It’s my first summer as a 50 year-old.

And yet, I’m as excited about it as I was as a child.

Me: I like you.
Her: (laughs) Oh, Lo…you don’t like me.
Me: I don’t?
Her: (shakes head, smiles) No, Logan Lo. You don’t.
Me: (nodding) Ah…

Location: yesterday, getting sprayed in the most unmentionable places at my buddy’s pool in Long Island
Mood: hopeful
Music: Romantic Piscean seeks angel in disguise (Spotify)
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Oh, how I wish you were here

Proud of ourselves

The Firecracker was busy for most of the following day but we met up for a walk to the pier near my pad when she was free.

There was a salsa party going on so we had to fight our way through that to make it to the edge of the pier, but it was worth it.

Me: What are you thinking?
Her: These are the times where I think, I can’t believe that I live here.

This fella named Richard Ford once said, The more we see our parents fully, see them as the world does, the better our chances to see the world as it is.

The boy just got his first red stripe in BJJ, which is kinda a big deal – certainly to him, if nuthin else.

Him: LOOK, LOOK! (shows me) Are you proud of me?
Me: Of course. But that’s not as important as if you’re proud of yourself. Are you proud of yourself?
Him: (beaming) Yes!
Me: That’s the most important thing, kid. Do things that make yourself proud of yourself, not me or anyone else.

Finding that I miss my dad the most when I want to ask him things about me when I was the kid’s age.

I mean, my mom’s still around and she and I talk about these things but I wonder what my dad was thinking when I was the kid’s age and doing similar things.

Realize all the times that my dad was right – and wrong – about things. I so wish he was here to talk about it all.

If he was, I wish I could tell him that I understand now, so much more about him than I ever did.

Wish I could tell him that I loved him, still do, and always will.

I wonder if he’d be proud of me. Then again, I think I did the best I could with everything I was given.

In that sense, then, I’m proud of myself.

Still, I wish he was here.

Although, truthfully, I always wish the people I loved were here with me.

Him: You looked like this again (makes face). Were you thinking of mommy again?
Me: (smiling, shaking head) I always think of her, but at that moment, I was thinking of my papa.
Him: (hugs me) I’m sorry, daddy.
Me: Thanks, kid. You’re my faves.
Him: YOU’RE MY FAVES!
Me: (laughing, hoping that I’ll stay in his top 10 forever)

Location: getting a second free soda at a street party because the person wanted a pic of me
Mood: hollowed
Music: how I wish you were here (Spotify)
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Last min trip to NJ, then Koreatown

Thinking about my dad with girlie drinks

In a last-minute decision, I decided to bring the boy out to NJ to spend the weekend with his grandparents so that the Firecracker and I could work on a personal project of ours.

To that end, I was scheduled to head out to NJ, drop the kid off, and come right back, for an approximately 180-minute, round-trip excursion.

Welp, my luck held ever to form. Because I dropped the kid off without issue but the return trip was delayed a solid hour, so my three-hour round trip took four hours.

Once I made it back into the city, I ran to the restaurant where the Firecracker was waiting for me.

Me: I’m so sorry I’m late.
Her: It’s fine. I’m just happy to see you.

We were gonna go to a restaurant that Pac had suggested to us but the wait on that was an hour, so we just ended up going to my regular joint, Jongro – the last time I was there was with my buddy Bridget.

The Firecracker actually wasn’t all that hungry cause I was so late so it was mostly me that ate all the food.

Even that wasn’t enough, so I ordered a pancake that feeds 2-3 people and ate almost alla that myself.

Afterward, we went to a rooftop bar called K-32, right across the street.

There were only a handful of other people there because it was supposed to rain (but didn’t) so it just me and her.

Since it was just us, I ordered my fave drinks: Oversweet girly drinks made of rum.

Me: Don’t judge me for my drink. I like them like I like my women: Sweet and with fruit. Wait…
Her: (shaking head and turning to the bartender) Can you do something to make it more manly? Like put a tool belt around it or something.
Bartender: (nods) I’ll fix ya up!

There were no umbrellas.

But there was a drink in a tiki mug.

Her: Hey, these are like the mugs at your place.
Me: Yeah. They’re tiki mugs. They’re my fathers’.

We struck up a conversation with the bartender and the waiter and got onto the topic of Scenic Fights.

Me: You should subscribe.
Waiter: Wait, Scenic Fights? I’m already a subscriber!

Turns out he was already a fan and that’s why he thought I looked familiar.

The bartender was young and, because it was just the two of us, really spent a lotta time getting the drinks just right.

We actually left as the bar started filling up and were home and in bed by 11PM.

Location: 8:15 PM, with the kid, catching a train at Penn Station
Mood: hungry
Music: Now my dark days don’t phase me even a little bit (Spotify)
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A trip to the Great Wolf Lodge

Getting away from the smokey City

As my dumb luck would have it, a few months ago, I randomly decided to schedule a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos for this past Thursday and Friday with the Firecracker, the Surgeon and his wife, plus another lawyer and his kid.

Well, it was more that the Firecracker is a huge, huge fan of theme parks.

Her: What if the air’s worse up there?
Me: Welp, we’re about to find out.

This worked out amazingly because we were able to leave the city and spend the next two days indoors at a water park with climate control.

So, we went from this…

…to this…

…and this.

The kids all had a blast…


…although the adults also had fun.

Gotta say, I was pretty high-strung when we first got there because I really wanted him to wear a floatation vest but the kid was 100% against the idea.

Ultimately the Surgeon told me to relax because there were lifeguards everywhere. Then he bought drinks for everyone.

Me: Well, if you’re sure…
Him: Look, Logan, there are five adults here. Combined, we would be one good parent. And, really, that’s all you need.

Honestly, the only negative about the trip was that the food was pretty awful (health-wise) and expensive.

Although I tried my best to counteract it for myself; the kid was all-in for the junk food, though.

We had alla these plans to either head out to get tacos or eat at the nice restaurant in the park but we were all so beat from the day that we just ordered food from the same place as lunch and had it outside our hotel rooms.

Except with a lotta alcohol.

The next morning’s food choices weren’t much better…

…although I did make the kid have some peanut butter to counteract some of it all.

The boy and his friends were probably in the water for six or seven hours the first day and at least three or four hours the second day.

Unfortunately, one of the Surgeon’s kids had cut her toe on something sharp in the water so they left early.

That meant that the kid and the Firecracker’s kid got to do other things.

The kids didn’t wanna leave but the Firecracker and I were both beyond beat.

Heading home, we came pretty close to running outta gas but made it to a gas station just in time.

By the time we got home, the air had pretty much returned to normal and we had ourselves a typical rest-of-the-weekend.

The kids had a blast, but I’m not sure I’m really a theme park kinda guy.

Then again, I suppose that this is all part of the job of being a parent.

Him: Thanks for bringing me to the Great Wolf Lodge, papa!
Me: Did you have fun?
Him: YEAH!! Did you?
Me: (laughs) Sure. But all I really care about is that you had a good time, kiddo.
Him: I did, I did!

Location: home, wondering if I should have more of that green cake
Mood: exhausted
Music: got a lot of water in my brain, I got no common sense (Spotify)
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A Double Date

In the Upper Best Side

Him: Hey, Logan, how are things on your end? I can leave any time – will take me 15 mins [to get to you].
Me: Just smashed a coffee glass. Let’s meet there at 5:20? So if you leave in 10 mins that would be a 15 min travel time? I cannot be left alone, clearly.
Him: (laughs) OK for 5:20.

The boy was away for a few days so I ended up meeting with the Frenchman at Playa Betty‘s the other night.

I’ve said many times that the food there isn’t good but the drinks are so we went mainly so I could get a drink or four into me over a happy hour.

Which is not to say that we didn’t eat.

He and I chatted about something that I’ll probably talk to you about later but that’s a longer discussion.

In any case, after about an hour of catching up, his wife, Tess, came by to join us and the Firecracker and her showed up almost exactly at the same time.

Everyone seemed to get along really well.

Him: My son just roams New York City now.
Me: I’m so unprepared for that right now.

It’s weird because for the past few years, I was hanging out with a buncha people much younger than me.

Hanging out with peers and old friends again has been refreshing for me.

Tess and the Frenchman were talking about potentially leaving the Upper East Side so the Firecracker and I tried to convince them to move into our area.

Firecracker: It’s the Upper BEST Side.
Me: It really is!

So, when we left, I walked them by this gorgeous bank that converted to condominiums.

Me: Just think about it.
Him: (laughs) Sure.

After they took off, I walked the Firecracker home.

Her: Your friends are great – I really like Tess! (later) Thanks for a nice night, Lo.
Me: Same, Firecracker. Same.

Location: West 66th Street Post Office, after the gym today
Mood: pensive
Music: kinda want this night to change right now (Spotify)
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