Tag: good things

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personal

As fine a legacy

The richest people

I’m 26 in that picture above. Half my current age.

When Alison was here, I used to do most of the cooking. And with the Firecracker, I cook most dinners.

It’s because Alison and The Firecracker both preferred cleaning to cooking.

But there are so many dishes that I wish I coulda made for everyone, but I just don’t have the recipe.

Me: I wish I wrote down some of my dad’s recipes. But I was so fucked up at the time.
Firecracker: You did the best you could with what you had. And just leave it at that.
Me: Thanks for saying that.
Her: Anytime. And it’s true.

My kid let me sleep in – like, seriously, sleep in – for Father’s Day, which I really appreciated.

It gave me time to just stay in bed and think about my dad.

I mention him a lot in this blog, but I wanted to share another story to give you some idea of what he was all about.

When I was a kid, I rarely saw him. He was out the door to job number 1 before I woke up for school, which meant that he was already up, dressed, and ready for the day by 7AM.

And I was usually in bed by 9PM but I didn’t see him because he went to school at night to try to better himself.

This left my mom home to cook and clean for us. We were poor so we almost never ate out or had take out anything.

She cooked 3-4 meals a day, because she also had to cook something for my dad at the crack of dawn.

When my dad retired, decades later, my mom was working. And he told her that she would never have to cook again.

He explained it to me once.

Him: Your mom stayed home to take care of the house so that I could work and make money for us. I told her that, because I have time now, I’ll do all the cooking and cleaning now while she’s working because it’s only fair.

And he did.

For at least the last decade-and-a-half of his life, he cooked every single meal he could for her.

He also wouldn’t let her clean up afterward.

That was the deal.

This was taken in 2002, 23 years ago when my life was so very different.

That’s who my dad was; he was a feminist and a liberal in many ways, without ever saying either word in his lifetime, I don’t think.

He just was madly in love with my mom, I think. And he innately believed in fairness.

He wasn’t without his faults, just like the rest of us, but when it came to his wife and family, he was the kinda guy we all wish we could be.

I miss his terribly, on this Father’s Day and every day.

I hope that what he gave me, I can give the kid so that the kid can give it to his family.

Suppose that’s as fine a legacy as anything.

Location: the couch, with the kid, watching Charlie Brown
Mood: nostalgic
Music: you wouldn’t have to say (Spotify)
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Back to 2010

Being productive

Him: It’s funny that you just saw a nun the other day. I saw one the other day in an argument with someone over something.
Me: No kidding.
Him: Yeah, she kept it clean but was really tearing into the guy.
Me: Sounds like someone needs to get some.

Took on a large portfolio of work the other day.

It was far more complex than I’d anticipated but a deal’s a deal so there wasn’t much for me to do but just try to get it all done.

Part of it meant that I had to spend a day in Brooklyn, so I drove the Firecracker to her new office (they just moved offices), which was a treat for both of us.

Her: It feels so luxurious to be driven to work by a hot guy.
Me: Hey, I’m driving you!

And I did manage to sneak out for a few hours to meet up with the Firecracker and her friend who let us crash at her pad in Vienna.

But I couldn’t stay for long because the deadline for alla this work is rushing towards me faster than I can type.

Then again, it’s nice being productive in a manner unrelated to raising the kid.

It’s like I’m back to 2010 again, before…everything.

Location: up to my eyeballs in bills and paperwork
Mood: busier than a one-armed coat hanger
Music: we should ride by slow (Spotify)
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Manhattan Street Fairs

The struggle of the street fair

Probably, one of the best things about living in the heart of Manhattan is that there’s always something going on and you usually end up just stumbling across it.

Case-in-point: The other day, the kids were both away and the Firecracker and I found ourselves alone, looking for something to do.

Her: We can go downtown to get some chicken parm sandwiches, maybe?
Me: Sure, but I just saw that there’s a street fair not too far from us.
Her: Perfect, I didn’t really need the chix parm, I just wanted to be outside.

So, off we went.

The main thing you do at a NYC street fair is struggle over what – of all the amazing looking food – are you gonna ultimately eat?

Her: How about bratwurst? You love German food.
Me: I do! But I don’t wanna end up stuffing myself with something and end up wishing I ate something else instead.

That’s pretty much how I deal with all street fairs: I process every decision through FOMO, or, Fear Of Missing Out.

Honestly, though, it’s probably for the best as the stuff I’m always interested in is all the stuff I shouldn’t be eating.

These two fellas were super nice and very persuasive, but we managed to walk away without having a carb bomb.

There are other things there, like cool knickknacks, like these photo coasters, which I’ve told you about before.

Me: The plastic fell off on the back of some of them. Can I put them back on?
Seller: Wait, plastic? I don’t think you got them from me, then. I’ve not used plastic feet in over a decade.
Me: (laughing) That’s when I bought them from you!

In the end, despite all the amazing looking food everywhere, we were good and didn’t buy anything bad.

It was just a nice day to take a walk with one’s fave person that one’s not blood related to.

Location: my desk, wishing my back would stop being a jerk
Mood: ache-y
Music:  the stupid things I do for you or just for a taste (Spotify)
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Memorial Day 2025

Plus a turtle release

For the fourth year in a row, had a really nice Memorial Day get-together with my college friends.

It came on the heels of our night out with the Frenchman and Bryson, so neither the Firecracker nor I really ate much before we arrived.

And once we did, the eating began…

Decades ago, I remember going with the Professor to some events and he always brought stuff like canned tuna fish so that he could see his friends but also stick to his diet – he was a competitive bodybuilder before he was a professor, of all things.

In any case, I have a reputation for bringing (a) peanut butter and (b) low-carb wraps to stuff.

This time, though, the hosts had both ready for me.

These are the kinda friends you gotta keep forever.

Now, my friends Cappy and Duck, did the opposite by bringing amazeballs carbs in the form of limited-edition donuts from doughnutplant.com…

…and Chinese pastries.

I couldn’t resist so the low-carb wraps were essentially for naught.

But I definitely had my fill of protein…

…protein…

…and more protein.

One thing that we all really enjoyed was Korean fusion tacos, where – instead of taco meat – there were various types of Korean BBQ with kimchi on top.

Absolutely killer.

The kids thought so too – oh, I ended up getting alla kids Scenic Fights shirts, so here’s a brief pic of them wearing them while eating.

There was one bit of unpleasantness: One of our core group – the guy that is probably the main glue that keeps us all together – had to bail super last minute because of health issues.

We’re all hoping he’ll be ok.

The fear is that, as we get older, we’ll all have these kinda things to deal with.

Turning to a (much) less serious matter, in the middle of the day, the host’s son released a turtle that he’d been nursing back to health for a while.

This is what constitutes wildlife around here.

It was late when we headed back.

Another great Memorial Day weekend with good friends.

The older I get, the more I value these kinda things.

Location: a street fair with my favourite person I’m not blood-related to.
Mood: sore (shoulder)
Music: say what really hurts. You can count on me (Spotify)
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Japanese(ish) food with my Japanese friends

A grand time with friends

The Frenchman and Bryson were game to come my way to get some food, so we headed to our usual Japanese BBQ haunt in the area the other day.

We’d all decided that the adults would head out and get dinner while the kids would stay by mine.

To this end, I ordered – initially – one pizza pie and picked up some snacks and drinks as well.

Bryson: Uh you might want to get more than one pie. Two teenagers, and three boys. I know [my son] can eat three slices when he is hungry.
Frenchman: Was just gonna say.
Firecracker: Yeah, one pie isn’t gonna cut it.

I don’t have a lotta kids over my pad, so I ordered two pies and let the kids do their thing as the rest of us went out and stuffed our fat faces.

Interestingly, on the way there, evidently, we walked right by my neighbors several blocks from the pad and they snapped this pic of us.

Both Bryson and the Frenchman – despite the latter’s moniker – are Japanese, so I was a bit hesitant bringing them there.

But everyone really enjoyed everything, and the conversation was great, as usual.

Person1: So, how did you all meet?
Person2: We were neighbors and…
Person3: I asked him to come to Barnes and Noble with me, and he said no…

The alcohol – including that beer tower above – didn’t hurt…

…and everyone seemed to enjoy the s’mores, except me. I’m just not that into sweets.

Or, to steal a line that my dad used to say alla time, I’m sweet enough.

Afterward, we walked home, although no paparazzi this time around.

When we got back, the kids were all having a grand time – and while they killed the drinks and a lotta the snacks, they only ate one of the two pizza pies.

Me: Ah-ha – vindicated!

We all ended up drinking and chatting until it was late.

My kid went to a birthday party that day, had this impromptu party, and was heading to another get-together the following day for Memorial Day.

But I’ll tell you all about it in the next entry.

Location: not Staten Island, due to the rain. Have to head there next week.
Mood: still super busy
Music: Things will happen while they can (Spotify)
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Our Bathroom Reno, Pt. 2

Soldiering on

Now, this whole renovation thing really started when we admired the ABFF’s bathroom and she offered us her leftover tiles.

The tiles were gorgeous and the right amount, so we hired her guys and expected to use them.

Unfortunately, her tiles were wall tiles, and we needed floor tiles; her’s were too thin and too slippery for us to use.

So, the reason we started the whole project in the first place was moot.

But, it was too late, we already started the work, so we had to soldier on.

On top of all this madness, the Firecracker made a major mathematical error and ordered a TON more green tiles than we needed.

Me: I thought you were a teacher!
Her: English! I was an English teacher!
Me: Blargh.

But it ended up being ok because we decided to do an accent wall that, originally, I wasn’t keen on but ended up being quite nice.

This bathroom is right off my bedroom so that meant that dust was *everywhere* and my bedroom was like a live-action Tetris.

But we were making quick progress.

After just 10 days, it was really coming together.

The Firecracker’s been pleased as punch since we finished up.

Close to the finish line!

Me?

I’m just happy that she’s happy AND I’ve got my room back.

Mostly.

2025
2009
2025
2009

Location: earlier today, under a 200 pound blackbelt getting strangled
Mood: exhausted
Music: If I could count the stupid things I do for you (Spotify)
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Our Bathroom Reno, Pt. 1

Not just touching things up

When Buckley and I first bought our pad 21 years ago (!!), we set aside about $30,000 to:

    • Completely gut renovate our front bathroom.
    • Fix the shower in the back bathroom.
    • Completely redo the floors and several panels of drywall in our basement.
2009

My apartment is a one-bedroom that, for some odd reason, has three bathrooms, which is pretty darn convenient I gotta say, despite how odd it is.

The front bathroom was the one that everyone used because it was so nice.

The back bathroom, was essentially just used for emergencies all these years.

After all, it didn’t even have a working radiator, so it was effectively unusable three months outta a year.

It was a huge waste of space.

This is what it looked like when Alison was here.

2009 – The mirror was bronze, so it was so dark that it was practically unusable.

Whoever thought that pink and red was a good colour scheme for a bathroom probably wore parachute pants as well, because – like the pants – it definitely didn’t stand the test of time.

Always told Alison that it would be the room that we renovated together.

But, as you know, that and so many of our beautiful plans never came to be.

We had already had the old bronze mirror replaced by the time we started demoing.

In any case, when the Firecracker moved in, she wanted to leave her mark here so I said that, if ever there was an occasion, we’d fix the back bathroom.

Me: Alison always hated it and I’m not a big fan either.
Her: OK, well, maybe we can start small and save up money to do a complete renovation as some point.

Well, the other day, we had dinner with the ABFF and she had just done her bathroom and had a ton of tiles left over.

She offered them and her guys’ contact information as well.

One thing led to another, and before you knew it, the Firecracker was demoing some of the red tiles.

But that actually wasn’t the very first thing we did.

The very first thing I did was take down the cheapo shower curtain rod that Buckley and I bought some quarter-of-a-century ago when we first moved into it.

That’s me holding it in the main picture above.

See, he and I lived in the building since 1997 and in that apartment since at least 2000 before we bought it in 2004.

In any case, the ABFF’s people took over the demolition and made quick work of the bathroom.

That was the start of a three-week (insanely dusty) project that I’d been waiting to do for 25 years, and it went from “touching things up,” to doing a full gut-reno.

They just wrapped it up last week, but I’m beat so, I’ll tell you more about it in the next entry.

Location: the bathroom, admiring it
Mood: drained
Music: I’m on the outside, looking for a reason to change (Spotify)
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Mother’s Day 2025

A lotta distractions

The weekend wasn’t bad. Had a lotta distractions to keep the kid – and myself – busy.

The Firecracker’s dad’s in town so the Firecracker mainly spent time with him, which was good so I could focus on the kid.

The kid mainly did his own thing on Saturday but my college buddy, Ricky stopped by late at night to catch up after meeting up with our buddy, Ox, around the way.

Rick and I are probably the most athletic guys from our group of friends but that means that he’s got back issues too.

Me: I’m walking around most days at a 2-3; it jumps up to a 5-6 when it rains though.
Him: I’d kill for a 2-3. I’m walking around most days at a 7.
Me: Jesus Christ, how do you manage that?

Evidently, just like I did when I went to see Bryson and the Frenchman – case-in-point: Like me, he just lay down on my floor as we caught up.

Similar to that time where we randomly met him on his roof, the Firecracker and I agree that random meetups with good friends are the best.

Then, on Sunday, the kid and I woke up bright and early to head down the greenway on my scooter and get carbs in Chinatown.

There were a lotta carbs – scallion pancakes and fried dumplings – to be had before we headed back uptown.

Then we hightailed it back to catch the train to go see my mom and my sis.

The kid got to play with his cousins; I even hopped on the bike and rode with them to the local grade school for them to play for a bit.

While we were gone, my mom made dinner for us all; she didn’t know the Firecracker wasn’t going to be there, so she made the Firecracker’s fave dishes.

Me: Mom! It’s Mother’s Day. I wanted to take you out or at least bring food for you.
Her: (shrugging) It’s fine. I wanted to cook for you all.

That’s my mom.

Afterward, the kid and I went home and met up with the Firecracker, who was hanging with her family the whole weekend.

Another Mother’s Day Weekend/Alison’s Birthday, done.

Just have to get through the next few weeks and I won’t have to think about May again for a whole year.

Location: 6PM, picking the kid up late from school
Mood: damp
Music: open the door. Oh, it’s my love (Spotify)
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Sneak Preview: Thunderbolts*

The Bay…of Kips

Me: Dude – I got invited to a sneak peak for Thunderbolts for next Tuesday at 7PM. The Firecracker can’t make it; interested? Kips Bay at 7PM.
Him: Oh yeah can totally make it. Thanks for the invite!

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know I’m not really a movie theatre person.

But being part of Scenic Fights means that I get invited to showings all the time now.

Last week, I got to catch a sneak preview of the new Marvel flick, Thunderbolts* and, I gotta say, it was so entertaining.

Honestly, after Endgame, I’ve not really been all that interested in the Marvel offerings.

But this was free, and I like the Red Guardian and the Winter Soldier, so I went.

The Firecracker couldn’t make it, so I invited the Frenchman, who was happy to come.

It was playing at the movie theatre at a place called “Kips Bay,” on the East Side of Manhattan.

I have so many fond memories of that neighborhood because I used to visit my brother alla time when he was in med school and I was in college.

One of my favourite cuisines is Indian food and I still remember so clearly, my brother bringing me to a restaurant in Kips Bay where I had it for the first time.

Cannot believe that was – holy shitballs – 34 years ago.

Goddamn…

I digress.

The Frenchman was already queuing when I arrived.

I went ahead of him and managed to bypass the line – which you can see in the pic above was substantial – and float us in.

I went to wait in line to get some snacki-snacks but it turns out that I didn’t have to, as there was unlimited popcorn and unlimited drinks for us.

The movie itself was excellent, I gotta say.

Probably one of the more entertaining movies I’ve seen courtesy of Scenic Fights.

It was over two hours long, but the movie just sped by because it was so well-written.

I particularly liked that it touched upon mental health, which is a topic very near and dear to me – and it did it with class and heart, something very surprising for a comic book action flick.

If you get a chance, I would definitely see it.

Afterward, I dashed back home to spend a little time with the kid…

Him: (sleepily) You’re home. Did you like it?
Me: (quietly) It was good. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, ok, kiddo?
Him: (nodding) Ok, papa…night…

…and the Firecracker.

Her: How was it?
Me: Really good, actually. But I wanted to spend a little time with you.
Her: (smiles) Great.
Me: Made it home in less than 20 minutes!
Her: Even better!

Location: the gym, getting demolished
Mood: so tired
Music: don’t know where my path will lead, but I’ll follow my feet (Spotify)
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A trip to Kalahari

Oh, and a break-in

Was in bed the other night when I pulled up the cameras to just make sure the building was ok when I noticed someone looking very outta place.

Getting dressed, I went outside to catch this small woman – with this weird huge hat – taking out our vacuum.

We’d actually had two vacuums stolen in the past.

Me: Hey, can I ask why you have our vacuum?
Her: (gibberish)
Me: Not sure what any of that means. I’m gonna have to call the police.

I started to call when she took off running.

It was already midnight, and I wasn’t in the mood to give chase, so I just brought the vacuum back, made a round through the building to make sure she didn’t get into a unit, before finally crashed.

NYC always has something going on.

Barely got any sleep and the next day, we all took a trip to the Kalahari water park in Pennsylvania.

The kid was with my in-laws for Spring Break so we ended up meeting them at a Lowe’s parking lot convenient to everyone.

Soon, we arrived…

…the Firecracker got all the tix and such while I was the pack horse carrying alla the luggage.

It was ENORMOUS.

The kids had a blast.

And the food was markedly better than that at Great Wolf Lodge, the other water park we went to.

Although the kids still ate crap.

Of course.

Speaking of the Great Wolf Lodge, the main pic is actually from our trip to last time around, but the Firecracker wasn’t comfortable with letting people see her face just yet.

That, plus I didn’t get any good shots of us this time around.

Oh, like last time, we met up with the Surgeon and his family and friends there.

Everybody had a grand time.

We stayed the night… …which meant that the kids got a second chance to play the next day before we headed home.

Me: So, what do you think, was that a nice surprise?
Him: Yes! Can we come again?
Firecracker’s kid: Yeah! Next time, we can stay for the whole weekend.
Me: Only if you’re paying, kid.
Firecracker: Yeah, this isn’t something we can do all the time.

When I was their ages, we never had the money for stuff like this.

I’m glad that I can give the kid something fun to remember.

Think that’s all any parent really wants from a trip like this – something fun to remember and an experience we didn’t get to have ourselves when we were their ages.

Location: inhaling a ton of dust in my pad
Mood: dusty
Music: Gonna take some time to do the things we never had (Spotify)
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