Tag: rant

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personal

Art is…

The One where Logan rants about ranting

Almost Tribeca, NY

Her: If I left, I’d just take my stuff and walk out the door. You’re not a jerk so I don’t need one.
Me: Ok then, so I won’t write up a prenup if we ever get hitched.
Her: (laughing) It’s funny, we’re planning out the divorce before we’re planning out the marriage.

Immediately prior to Lincoln’s Getteysburg’s Address – which was only ten minutes long – a fella gave a two-hour, 13,607-word speech. You know who that was? Me neither. Cause no one remembers or cares.

Have you ever read just crap poetry? Or seen crap art in general? You thought, in some fashion, How the hell is this art?

When you’re a kid, you think that art is all about unfettered freedom and novelty. But real art comes from limiting yourself. It’s about conveying the maximum depth of meaning with as little possible – words, time, paint, whatever.

Art’s efficient.

Look, my drivel’s not art, but I still try. Whenever I’m done writing, pour a cup of joe, sigh, and then start whittling down.

Almost all of Shakespeare’s stuff’s in iambic pentameter, which is freaking hard enough without a delete key. Oscar Wilde wrote the shortest telegram in history to ask his publisher how his book was doing.

Oscar: ?
Publisher: !

Art only happens with restraint; and if you’re writing and not getting a dime for it, it should be art somehow, yeah?

Otherwise it’s just ranting and ranting is worse than a waste. It’s a bore.

Location: waiting to wrassle
Mood: melting
Music: You’re not here but it’s ok I assure you babe

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personal

Well-Traveled Gentlemen

Location: rainy NYC
Mood: sweaty
Music: the wind will be wailing but I will be sailing faster

Brooklyn Bridge at night

Merriam-Webster says that a gentleman is a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior.

Recently on ABC, report Brad Garrett on GMA, said about the scumbag that raped and killed seven-year old Somer Thomson “Law enforcement does not have time to keep track of people like this gentleman.”

Could someone please buy Mr. Garrett a copy of MW or the OED and dog-ear “gentleman” and “scumbag” for him.

Evidently, he can’t tell the difference.

———-

Went out to see the girl’s family for dinner this past weekend. There’s little better than a home-cooked meal.

It’s a bit remarkable how different life is just an hour’s drive from the city. There’re deer there my friends, deer.

Onea of the most positive things about all of this blogging’re the glimpses into lives so different than my own.

Mark Twain said that travel’s fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness….Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

Another quote I like’s by Letterman, who said that Wherever we’ve traveled in this great land of ours, we’ve found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

Sometimes, think I’ve lived a rather sheltered life. Fella I know’s off to fight a war ina dusty and dangerous place and another’s come back. They’ve my appreciation and respect.

The weather’s changing again so I’m thinkinga bridges again.

Her: Would you live there?

Me: (shrugging) Honestly, I be happy where ever you were. Well, you and the rum. (pause) Mostly you though.

YASYCTAI: Avoid shaking hands with anyone today. See how long y’can last. (24 hours/1 pt)

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personal

Neufchâtel

It doesn’t matter what you call it

You know all of these annoying hyperlinks in all of my posts? It’s to keep myself honest.

Won’t tell you that the smartest man in the US’s was a Long Island bouncer or that what you think of as cinnamon is probably something called cassia unless I can prove it to you.

Recently told a young guy that the Republican Party was founded for the main purpose of stopping slavery and that Abe Lincoln the first Republican. He didn’t believe me.

Grew up in quiet appreciation of Reagan saving the world and Giuliani saving my hide.

But George W. Bush’s speechwriter David Frum noted that the Republican party went horribly wrong when they took the track of convincing people that the Democratic Party was looking to kill babies and grandmothers. They got the very dregs of the party.

Do you know why people become a genre of a person? The liberal flower power girl, the bow-tie wearing conservative? Cause it makes hard decisions easy. Simply parrot what the person to the right (or left) of you is saying and say it with enough umbrage that no one will question you.

Answering with reasoned thought seems to not be in vogue any more. Politics has chosen to let people who respond as children – with anger, hatred, and ranting – set the scene for discourse. And if I say anything, I’m not a true Republican.

It appears Nixon wasn’t a true Republican either, as it was his plan Obama passed. Nor is Yale educated Frum. Nor is conservative Harvard educated speechwriter, Ben Stein.

If Sarah Palin represents the best of what we can offer, take my business elsewhere, thank you.

One more stupid fact: what we call cream cheese is actually the screw up of an old French cheese called Neufchâtel. But what we call light cream cheese is actually Neufchâtel.

My point’s essentially the same point as the last entry: that I don’t care what you call it. Things are what they are.

Location: 5AM, awake in bed
Mood: annoyed
Music: love me or hate me, it’s still an obsession

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personal

Make it alright

We only realize too late

The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mr. Fisher. You are unlucky so I may know that I am not. Unfortunately, the lucky never realize they are lucky until it’s too late. Take yourself for instance. Yesterday you were better off than you are today, but it took today for you to realize it. But… today has arrived, and it’s too late, you see?

—Lucky Number Slevin

So, another kid – a girl – killed herself because of cyberbullying.

Do you know about Lori Drew, the 47-woman that convinced this 13 year old girl to hang herself? She got off cause the laws never thought that a bored housewife’d torment a kid to death just for kicks over wire.

Always wondered what kinda douchebag you gotta be to torment someone just cause you wanna and then hide behind a computer screen or cell phone.

It’s a bitter thing to read cause I’ve lived almost three times longer than her and still feel like I’m a kid.

Wish you waited. Cause you grow up and wonder why people you barely remember ever affected you so much. Then they find you on some social-networking site and you think, “Man, they look terrible!” and start to believe in karma but then change your mind.

Maybe that’s just me.

Honestly wonder what people like Lori Drew tell themselves to make it alright for them to sleep at night.

I’d like to know, because, man, I could use the rest.

———-

On a positive tech note, pretty jazzed that as many people gave as much as they did to Haiti via text – something like $30 million in just a few weeks.

Didja know that Americans gave $1.8 billion to the Asian tsuanmi? I say the measure of a society’s humanity’s how they take carea those not as lucky.

Yet another reason I love this joint.

Location: a light green couch
Mood: wired
Music: Same birds that followed me to school When I was young (Spotify)

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personal

Haiti/Pat, you viper

Location: in front of a busted HD
Mood: still annoyed
Music: baby stay with me, I love it

Snow on the 72nd Street Pier in NYC

If y’read the bible, you’ll see that Jesus only got pissed – seriously pissed – with one group, the Pharisees. They were the religious elite, the ones who looked down on those that weren’t doing the willa God. They said who was good and evil.

And he said to them, You’re nuthin but snakes and the childrena snakes. And you’re going to hell.

This isn’t a religious entry, just an observation of many of the world’s holy – irrespective of religion.

Which brings me to Pat Robertson saying that Haiti’s paying fora “pact to the devil.”

Pat, you self-righteous SOB:

  1. you snake, who the #$@! do you think you are?
  2. you’re going to hell.

Either help in some way or get outta the way.

———-

On the topic of help, how’s this for easy-peasy: text HAITI to 90999 and you send $10 for aid to Haiti.

Do it for yourself, if for nuthin else. $10 in exchange for feeling like you’ve helped in some way is a bargain, man. It’s a steal.

———-

Returning to our regularly scheduled nuthin, feel like I let y’down Jaerik, writing two ranty blog entires in a row.

Sorry dude. I’ll stop now. To make it up to you, I’m gonna pimp your new game – which is honestly, quite awesome.

If you’re on FB, do a search for “islandlife” and prepare to be impressed.

Speakinga pimping; had this hidden entry where I asked people to send in a pic of themselves singing for Caffeineguy, who also let me know of the Snopes link above.

Here’s what he did with it, the talented bastard:

The chick at 0:12 is my fave part of the vid.

YASYCTAI: $10 bucks! The costa two burgers and fries at McD. Do it. (1 min/2 pt)

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personal

Bully/I remember you

Me 25 years ago

Was recently mocked for being a 36 year-old man that carries the baggage of his 17 year-old self. Probably true.

Heard on the news that the woman that Roman Polanski raped when she was a child forgives him. Wonder what the child version of her would’ve thought.

There’s this line in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn that says of kids tormenting other kids, exactly as they themselves were, They learned no compassion from their own anguish. Thus their suffering was wasted.

To paraphrase my friend Somena, the hard part of life’s knowing much of your past to bring with you into your future. Enough so that you’re better for it, not so much that it hollows you out.

Finally realized why I detest Heartgirl’s creepy friend, Shawn.

Cause he’s a minority and, I suspect, probably a geek as a kid. And we minority geeks are bullied in the most spectacular fashion. Emmy award winning. Yet he’s learned nothing from it.

Never did tell you what happened, did I?

Without her knowing, he picked up HG’s phone and randomly dialed numbers to make them think that HG was calling. And when they’d pick up, he’d essentially just laugh at them for thinking a pretty girl would call them.

Recall saying to him, Not sure y’know who I am.

Guessing he didn’t think I’d end up her boyfriend.

He’s awfully brave for someone on the phone. Told him I hoped that he’d get the opportunity to say to my face what he said on the phone. And of course, he’ll say what they all say, I was drunk, I was kidding, blah-blah-blah.

Funny – been hammered enough times, and yet not once did I turn into a lout.

Still, just to refresh his memory – and cause he just happened to move a block from me – he’s said I’m not a man. And he’d show me what a real man’s like. OK, I’m in.

Cause an old bully’s the worst kind; the kind that’s taken none of his torment with him.

Evidently, the socially correct way to deal with this type of situation is to just let it slide. Not mention it again. As luck would have it, never had many friends growing up so I never learned that.

Look, can’t let it slide. Cause I owe that fat kid y’see up there. Call it stupid or insane, but I owe it to him to remember what it was like to be tormented. I owe it to him to remember him.

So yes, Shawn. Show me what a real man’s like.

Without a hint of sarcasm or irony, I’d like to see that.

ME now

Location: a block away
Mood: indignant
Music: Somewhere inside my childhood I missed

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personal

Serif/Bad, H&M, Bad…

Location: my cold home
Mood: annoyed
Music: in your eyes All your promises were lies

NYC at night

Her: (writing on my hand with her finger)
Me: “I love you?”
Her: (exasperated) Finally! How does it take so long for you to figure it out?
Me: Let me try. (start to write on her hand)
Her: I…L…O…wait, you can’t write what I wrote. Write something else.
Me: OK, let me try again.
Her: S…E…R…I…F. Serif?
Me: Yes.
Her: I write “I love you” and you write, “serif?” SERIF?
Me: (pause) In my defense, y’told me to write something else.

Suspect that, in some way, 2010 may not be all that radically different from 2009.

Ran out to Queens to chase down some scratch. Frick’n cold; the typea cold where y’notice if you’re not wearing the right socks.

Speakinga socks, not shopping at H&M; until they sort out their moral compass. Sucks for me since they’re the only ones that make long sleeve tees that fit me right.

They say that they donate to charity but – just cause I’m a geek and insomniac – did the math; they donate .000056477 of their annual revenue across 5 years. That’s 10% of 1% of 1% of their revenue annually, kids (.000011294 – correct me if I’m wrong).

They’re also saying that they didn’t know what their flagship NYC store was doing.

I’m saying that someone’s $9.99 pants’re on fire.

YASYCTAI: Boycott companies that’re just in it for the money. It’s easy if you star recycling properly, for example: 4 year old boys toy ideas can be made from already owned items, and we are all children at heart right?  (1 min/1 pt)

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personal

Got Lucky

Location: surrounded by computer bits
Mood: hungry
Music: I’m just gonna sit on the dock of the bay

Him: How can you think like that, you’re…
Me: What? Chinese-American? A minority? It’s not like we all get together on Tuesdays and decide to all think a certain way.
Him: But you’re obviously wrong. Just look around, look at the popular opinion.
Me: Popular opinion once said that the world is flat. Popular opinion in Germany once said that Jews weren’t people. Popular opinion once said that the life of a black man is worth that of a cow. Since when’s popular opinion the voice of reason?
Him: It’s wrong. We shouldn’t be fighting a war that doesn’t concern us.
Me: Maybe. But that’s my issue: who’s this us you’re referring to? People or people that look like you?
Him: (rolling his eyes) Americans, man…you know I mean Americans. Like us.
Me: Like us? I’m only an American cause I got lucky. You too. Don’t y’ever forget that dumb luck put y’here and not Somalia or North Korea. That’s the only goddamn difference between us and them. There’s only ever the lucky and the screwed.

YASYCTAI: Be grateful for your dumb luck. (5 mins/1 pt)

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personal

The Pigtail Ordinance

Sweep the leg

A daylight shot of NYC buildings

Kreese: Sweep the leg. (pause) Do you have a problem with that?
Johnny: No.

In three years, never really discussed politics. Having said that, always considered myself a moderate conservative. Believe in small government, free markets, few social programs, meritocracies, etc.

This judge once wrote of the Chinese, “[t]heir dissimilarity in physical characteristics, in language, manners, and religions…prevent the possibility of their assimilation with our people.” He hoped that “some way may be devised to prevent their further immigration.”

Here’s the thing though, he wrote that while striking down this law called the Pigtail Ordinance.

Why? Not cause he liked the Chinese (he hated us) but cause the law itself was unconstitutional.

It was a law that was innocent on it’s face – if you went to jail you had to get your hair cut – but clearly it was an end runaround meant to harass the Chinese and their queues. Even the authors of the bill acknowledged this.

So the judge struck it down. Cause, as much as he hated the Chinese, he respected the law. And a law that singled out one group of people – and he grudgingly admitted we were people – was unconstitutional. And thus, he had to strike it down, making him seriously unpopular in Cali.

This health care issue troubles me. The whole tenor of it bugs me. Cause people don’t seem to want a fair fight.

The judge’s view was this, “Despite my personal feeling, my personal hatred, I’ll put that aside to do what’s right for the country. If we’re right – that Chinese’re second class people – then we don’t gotta break the law to prove it.”

Course, he was wrong on that point but that’s neither here nor there.

Look, if y’really have a strong point, use that. Don’t make up things like death panels and resort to things like heckling.

Don’t people, liberals/conservatives, just get tired of just making crap up to win? Like the idiots that genuinely think 9/11 was by the Bush administration or a Jewish cabal.

It’s sad when you have to point to a racist and say, “Even this $@#$@ guy…”

It’s a sad state of affairs, is what I’m trying to say.

Location: 18:20, yest, adjusting watch on Broadway
Mood: annoyed
Music: I’ll soon be back again That’s what I said in China

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personal

Clean

Location: 15:30 yest, the 66th Street B&N;
Mood: over-caffeinated
Music: Always wanted to see the colours of your destiny

A pan of read corned beef hash from Nonna in the UWS

Her: (laughing hysterically) When did you do that?
Me: Breathe mom, breathe…

Had dinner at the Telephone Bar the other night before catching Paul for a party at the same place as this entry. Same people, same discussions, worse weather but good all around.

Spent mosta the night trying to pick up this one girlie Paul mentioned he found attractive; that is until he saw her up close and decided wasn’t his type. Oh well, at least it kept me busy.

The next day I had myself brunch around the way at a joint called Nonna where I had real corned beef hash; like not from a can.

It’s these little things that make my day.

———-

Been working on the manuscript again; this’s now year seven. Should really just finish it now that I got the time.

Y’ever pick up something you wrote before and think, What the hell was I thinking when I wrote that? Literally, every single year I work on it, have that same thought.

Speaking of older stuff, my mom somehow found Bachelor Cooking, which I think is the best thing Rain and I’ve done together. Maybe we should dust it off again. Cept we can’t stand working with each other.

In close to three years of writing On (or close) to Schedule, never mentioned why I don’t curse or why I’m deliberately vague. It’s cause I assume that my mom’ll, or someone from RL’ll find it.

It’s made me a better writer, I think.

Pound-for-pound, the funniest comedian out there is Brian Regan. And he’s beyond clean. And the pinnacle of television comedy, IMHO, is The Contest; which is both completely filthy and completely clean at the same time.

That’s really hard.

Don’t get my wrong, my manuscript’s nuthin like this blog; it’s pretty salty. But all of this stuff I put up online, put up knowing that online stuff’s forever.

This blog could have easily gone the way of a sleezy, douchey, caricature. Instead, went the way of a clumsy nerd who ends up looking like an idiot as much as he doesn’t.

Realized also, wasn’t so much offended by raunchy, filthy, foul-mouthed posts, myspace/twitter musings and blogs – was just kinda bored by it.

Started wearing white again after bout 15 years of not. Cause, being as clumsy as I am, it’s near impossible to keep something clean. But, for me, it’s just better that way.

Me: (a minute later) So what did you think of it?
Her: (still laughing)
Me: Ok, I’m gonna go now…
YASYCTAI: Try writing something a completely different way. (30 mins/1 pt)