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personal

Philly

Of course you’re 23

Rang up the the Sexologist last week.

Me: Gio and his girl Amy’re going to his friend’s birthday party (wait for it) in Philly this weekend. Thought I’d see you.
SX: How convenient. I could hang out Saturday night. BTW, I found your blog. I’m 22 not 23.
Me: (pause) Of course you are.

Off to Philly.

SX and I met up with Seemoore briefly at her restaurant; we both agreed that she’s very attractive. Why do pretty girls always think they’re not? Asked Seemoore if she believed all the stuff I wrote about. She said she did.

Me: Am I like what you expected?
Seemoore: You seem older in the blog. You’re more friendly and outgoing in real life.
Me: (laughing) I don’t like to visit my troubles on my friends in real life. Just you guys that read me – sorry ’bout that.

She actually paid for our dessert – she’s all win. Then SX and I left, spending the rest of the night talking and walking about town. It was punctuated by laughter as the laces of her boots constantly got tangled.

Her: I like how you just invite yourself over to my place. (dismissively) Men always just wanna get into my pants.
Me: Just looking to crash, darlin’. I can promise you I won’t try.
Her: Why not?
Me: (shrugging) Because.

We met up with her friend who told us about her sex life. In vivid detail. Evidently, I lived a very sheltered life in college I live a very sheltered life. Did I mention vivid? Later we watched a chick flick before we passed out.

Loathe to admit it, but I do enjoy the British chick flicks.

Came back Sunday morning. Gio and Amy were passed out in the back seat the whole ride back. 3 hours to get to Manhattan and an hour to get through Manhattan.

Turning 35 in two weeks. Gotta come up with 26K the same day as my birthday.

Ain’t that a kick in the head?

Location: 14:00 yest, going 80 on the Penn Turnpike
Mood: tired
Music: finding myself making every possible mistake

Categories
personal

Crackers

Some days, you get hot dancers, models, and caviar on a cracker. Others you just get the cracker

Him: You’re on the guest list. It’s an anti-Valentine’s Day party at the Chinatown Brasserie. Everyone there’s single plus it’s catered with an open bar.
Me: (sigh) I’m in not in town. Last minute gig came up. I’m out, first thing in the morning.

It’s snowing when I exit the pad for the Rainbow Room. I’m wearing my black tux with a black tee-shirt and pretty much arrive drenched.

Sheridan and I run into our buddy RE Mike, who’s still cuttin’ deals at the party. James Lipton, Richard Kind, David Zaikin, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are there – all’re pretty nice folk. The food’s killer and some chick from American Idol belts out soul. I also meet this woman who says she fixes people up like Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline.

Her: You’re cute! I want to introduce you to my step-daughter. She’s beautiful and just graduated from Cornell. She’s Jewish though.
Me: Well, that I don’t have a problem with but…how old is she?
Her: 22.

Midway through the party, I lose Syd’s lens cap so I spend a good hour looking for it. Giving up, I hang out with the girl from Wednesday’s post.

I’m heading out when a waiter says, I saw you looking on the ground. Were you looking for this? He pulls out Syd’s cap. I break out into a smile, shake his hand, and take a pic of him. All-in-all, onea my better Tuesdays.

This week, Sheridan’s at the Brasserie, Paul’s in China, Gio’s in Columbia. Me? I’m the only person beside the nightwatch in a frozen, upstate hotel. Dinner’s a protein bar and some rum.

Some days, you get scantily clad dancers, Ford models, and Beluga caviar on a cracker.

Some days, you just get the cracker.

Location: alone in 14020
Mood: so tired
Music: I am damaged at best Like you’ve already figured out

Categories
personal

Cornell

Visiting my old college

I’m in Cornell right now; was working in the library until just before. Spent the day running about causa work.

Followed my GPS to get here so it took me on a road I never took before. I was disappointed because I didn’t see it rise up like it always does.

I ate in the food hall and felt very, very old. Then I took a long walk to the main campus. The campus was pretty much completely empty because it was late and hella cold. It was weird because I was always out by myself late at night because of the insomnia so, on the one hand, it looked like it always did to me; on the other – they built this monstrosity in the middle of my campus.

Guess, you can’t go home again. More to tell but I’m sorting.

I really I don’t think I’m seeing the green-eyed Italian lawyer until March and I completely randomly thought of the curly-haired girl today because she went to school near here. But I’m seeing L tonight for dinner if I can make it back in time. I’ve not seen her in months either.

My timing’s never right but the Venn Diagrams I draw make up for it somewhat.

Location: guess
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I feel like I just got home and I feel like…I’m home
Categories
personal

Well, that’s weird…

The time I almost electrocute myself…twice

Well, that’s weird, I thought as I peered into my aquarium, where’re all the fish? I looked closer and they were all floating. That’s not good. Interestingly, little bubbles were all over my plants – so many in fact, that one was freed from the gravel and floated up to the top.

Been busy and away a lot, but I had an electronic feeder so they should have been fine. Sighing, I grabbed the net and began to reach into the tank to fish soma the poor buggers out when: ZZZZAP!!!!

I got a nasty, nasty shock and jumped back. I thought, That can’t be. So I did what any red-blooded guy would do: I did it again

BAM! Another shock.

Dammit. The heater had fallen into the water and electrocuted all my fish.

Wish I could draw sometimes, because I think my life would make a good cartoon. (I actually did just that! I posted about my heater mishap on www.smartlyheated.com with a few illustrations.)

———-

Should be here until Friday for some work. I went to college there a long time ago. I’m looking forward to pigging out at the food hall – because, deep-down, I’m a fatty-fat-fat.

Location: 20:47 yest, exiting the subway
Mood: working
Music: oooh I really liked you, must have been your attitude
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personal

Bello

More random meetings

It’s pretty safe to say I’ve been on a plane over 200 times in my life. Each time I secretly hope to sit next to a beautiful female stranger. I never have.

Until early last Thursday morning.

My name’s Logan, I said. Che cosa? she asked.

She spoke almost no English. Of course. So, after a bit, I decided to have a real-life IM with her. I typed out sentences on my phone and she read them and answered slowly. Her name was Roberta. She was going to see Niagara Falls (Cascata) with her family who were sitting somewhere else. We passed an hour chatting back and forth.

When we arrived I said goodbye and started my work in Buffalo.

Late that night, I caught the last flight to New York. And there she was. I never thought I’d see her again. She waved to me and as she walked over, I laughed and took out my phone. She too was only there for a day. The cascata was bello, she said, but way too freddo.

Her: How old you?
Me: Guess.
Her: 24?
Me: (shaking head) No, 34.
Her: Wow.
Me: How old are you?
Her: Guess.
Me: 24?
Her: (shaking head) No, diciotto (18).

I laughed and said, Of course you are. She didn’t understand and just nodded.

Then I stopped again said, “I hope you stay good and that Life is kind to you.” Maybe I said that because I knew she wouldn’t understand. She looked at me with a puzzled smile so I smiled back and said slowly, Goodbye, Roberta.

Arriverderci, Logan, she said.

I nodded and walked outta JFK and hopped into a car. Had another weekend, another story, but that’s for another time.

Funny, airports are such sad and happy places at the same time.

Location: 10:45 yest, 9th Street & Ave A
Mood: thoughtful
Music: We tried to find some words

Categories
personal

Australia

A Frog in a Well Knows Nothing of the Ocean

You ever hear of the saying, A Frog in a Well Knows Nothing of the Ocean?

This frog meets a turtle one day and the frog says to him, Dude, you gotta come check out my home in a well. It’s got it all: cool mud in the summer, protection from the wind in the winter, the whole nine.

The turtle checks it out and says to the frog, Man, have you ever been to the ocean? The water goes down deeper than a thousand of your wells. And you could swim forever and never see the land again if you didn’t wanna. And there are things of every color in the rainbow that you couldn’t imagine of in your dreams.

Y’only know your well, the turtle finished, but there are oceans you know nothing about.

Prior to 2001, I was the frog. Then I met this girlie…but that’s not really the point. Sometimes, I think I still am the frog. I told someone recently that I learned to ride a bike here. That kinda stuck with me. Anyway, remember how I’ve said, There’s no such thing as a line?

It’s true. Pretty much everyone I’ve mentioned in the past month or so, I’ve been asking, You know what we need to do? We need to go to Sydney, Australia. I’m actually interested when they say they’ve been there before. I spoke with one girl about traveling for hours the other night.

At some point, someone asks, But why Australia and why Sydney?

And I answer, truthfully, Australia because everyone’s got that cool accent. And Sydney – well, it just sounds pretty.

Doesn’t it though? We should go. It’s freaking cold here. And it’s not just the weather.

Location: 9:00 yest, driving crosstown
Mood: restless
Music: Break, eject, eject, eject, break, eject, eject, eject
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business dating personal

Everything

My GPS lies to me, but otherwise, all is good

Spent the day running around Connecticut, Westchester, and then stuck for two hours on the Cross Bronx Expressway – the GPS said it would take 22 minutes. It took 2.5 hours.

Damn lying GPS.

Was rushing back because I had a church function to attend. Eventually I got there and did my thing.

Somehow, two girls and I got onto the topic of dating and I told them that I had a mental block about meeting and dating someone from church. I just feel that’s sleazy somehow.

For some reason, they thought that was the one place I should be looking to meet someone.

Huh.

I then went home and got a call from a pretty lady and met her for a quick drink.

Quite a day.

———-

Got a few emails and comments from people saying they felt bad for me. Thanks much, but don’t feel bad for me, please.

I’m good. God gave me everything.

Location: One hour ago, getting a kiss on Columbus
Mood: exhausted
Music: God gave me everything I want; I can’t stop

Categories
business personal

Pretty Card

No one else to send it to

So it appears that none of the postcards I sent was received by the people to whom I sent it. I honestly wrote everyone that sent me an address.

I then gave them all to the two clerks at the Hotel New York in Rotterdam and had them mail it – they ran my Amex.

Bastards.

When I’m in a better place, I’ll ask you to resend me your addys and I’ll send you an NYC postcard.

Him: (pointing to this card) There’s just an address on this one, sir.
Me: It’s for someone that doesn’t know I still think of her. But I thought she’d like it.
Him: Doesn’t she know your handwriting?
Me: Oddly enough, no.
Him: (politely) It’s a pretty card, perhaps you can send it to someone else?
Me: (laughing) I’ve no one else to send it to.

Was locked outta my apartment for four hours yesterday, which was just plain awful. However, I did see GES yesterday for a 45-minute coffeebreak.

That was rather nice.

Location: 19:00 yest, in an office wondering what I’ve done
Mood: determined
Music: The day’s still ashes and wine

Categories
personal

Exactly two years in spite of the misery

Life is sweet, despite of the misery

My mom bought me sushi today. Pity sushi from my mother. This is what it’s come to.

One Dragon Roll, one Shrimp Tempura Roll, one Spicy Tuna Roll.

Pity Sushi. The next best thing to Third Date, It’s Late, Do You Wanna Crash At My Pad, Sushi.

———-

Forgot to mention that when I arrived in Munich, the customs officer took my passport and asked me if I had been in Germany before. I nodded so he flipped through it.

Then he looked up at me and asked, Is today a special day for you?

No, I said, not particularly. Why?

Because you came here exactly two years ago. I thought maybe you had an anniversary here. I didn’t believe him so he showed me. It was true: October 5th, 2005 and October 5th, 2007.

What a coincidence.

Was that really two years ago that I went to Berlin with my ex? We’ve been split up for that long? I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t.

Ah, what does it matter? Life is sweet, in spite of the misery.

Location: 12PM yest., having an enormous salad on my couch
Mood: slightly hopeful
Music: Wanna hide from the vicious world outside But don’t

Categories
personal

Queuing

Do you queue, stand in line, stand on line, wait in line, or wait on line?

This is gonna be another tough week. It’s going to be like this for at least 45 days. I’ll let you know what’s going on when things settle.

———-

Do you queue, stand in line, stand on line, wait in line, or wait on line?

The only problem with living where I live is all the endless queues. It’s maddening. Every Sunday I pick up a loaf of bread. I’m often temped to throw down four bucks and bolt. But I never do. I wait.

If it’s not for a chick, it’s for a loaf of whole grain, low-carb, wheat bread.

No, just this. No bag, thanks. Credit. I know. No, I’ve got a pen. Here. Thanks, you too.

———-

I love the Bourne Identity films, which are much better than the novels – those are a hard read.

Spoiler – highlight below to read.

There is one aspect of the novels that I prefer to the films and that is that Marie isn’t killed. In fact, they’re happy and have two kids. I still don’t get why they killed Marie. She was my favorite character after Jason.

Ah, I’m such a sucker. I wait for things that’ll never happen.

Location: 8PM, yest, the LIE going east
Mood: worried
Music: I would stand in line for this